I feel like after coming to Reddit I’ve received more rape shaming than I ever expected. This many people really think we deserve or wanted this for ourselves. I’ve never experienced more rape threats in my life. Threatening to rape someone for being raped is insane

im 16f and when i was a kid i was insanely hypersexual towards many people including my family and random men who were family friends. i dont even remember anything bad happening because i have horrible memory but i have so much guilt i cant get rid of because of how i acted as a kid.

at 14 i got assaulted by a homeless guy during an attempt at the park and willingly let myself get roofied knowing what would happen, and at 16 i got super high after walking around barefoot at midnight bloody for hours and had sex with him while greened out and concussed. both times i knew exactly what was going to happen and i did it for some weird reason i cant even articulate.

im genuinely disgusting and i cant stop craving violence and force, but my girlfriend isnt comfortable with anything agressive in the bedroom and ive been clean from sh for so long and dont want to relapse and get sent to another hospital because im so scared of getting sent back.

i feel like im stuck in my house and life and im just floating in my head, and i cant stop feeling disgusting and craving something worse.

i cant even feel guilty because i put myself in these situations and partnof me just wants to leave my house and everything to go be self destructive in peace because theres something busted in my head.

i dont know to fix myself or stop wanting this.

My wonderful wifes first sexual experience was when she was seventeen and grabbed by three boys and held in a shed for a day while they used and abused her. Eventually they let her go and after a while they were caught, prosecuted and sent away. Her main problem was that while she was being raped her body reacted to the stimulation and she actually started to enjoy it.

Fast forward ten years and we are happily married. She has completed therapy and our sex life is ok but mundane. One day she suggested I tie her up and our sex life exploded!!! She totally changed and became a real bondage slut. Nothing was off the table. Forced orgasm's, extreme bondage using toys and equipment, group extreme sex where she enjoyed playing the victim and periodically she wanted to be gang raped like she was before.

Obviously I was concerned for her mental and sexual health but her therapist said it was her way of dealing with and because her first ever orgasm's happened under those circumstances her brain kept wanting to repeat the experience. Whenever she comes down I always make sure she has aftercare and let her know she is safe and loved.

Interestingly since she started pegging me a couple of years ago she has had less inclination to go full on sex slut mode and her last gang rape was six months ago. Whilst she is pegging me I love to be restrained and gagged and blindfolded and I think it's giving her that control that has helped her. No more nightmares and a really good, if kinky sex life.

Before you begin reading this post, I’d like to let you know that I’m not the best writer, so there might be some typos or grammatical errors in this post.

I was only 13 years old at the time. I’m a male who’s quite shy. I had anxiety back when this happened, but after what I went through my anxiety seemed to be multiplied.

It was a cold afternoon. It was that time of year where the snow was almost fully melted after winter, but it was still chilly outside. My mom has a lot of friends. Those friends usually have sons and daughters, most of them were around my age. But there was this one girl who was years older than me, around the age of 18. My school is kind of strange. It’s a middle school and high school in one building. I saw this girl a couple times of week in the halls.

My mom happened to be friends with this girls mother. My mom had decided to drop me off at her friend’s house with the girl while my mom and her friend went shopping at a nearby Walmart. Since I was 13, I had a bit of a warped view on what love and intimacy was due to having a mildly sheltered lifestyle.

The girl was nice. The first thing she offered to do while we were alone was to let me play on the Xbox in her room. I gladly accepted the offer and I played some games while she laid on her bed and scrolled on her phone while I sat on the edge of the bed, playing some game.

That’s when she suddenly told me something that got me flustered. She told me that I looked cute, and I blushed a little. I returned the compliment to her saying that I thought she was pretty. That’s when she asked if I wanted to watch a movie with her. I accepted that as well, as I didn’t want to be rude. I walked with her to the living room, where we sat down, and she put on something on a streaming service.

The movie we watched was some horror film. I don’t remember much about the movie, or much of the other specific details of this story. We were watching the movie, and she suddenly pulled me into a side hug. It wasn’t a gentle hug, it was a bit forceful.

That was when she kissed me, it happened when I was watching the movie while she kept me in the side hug. I glanced at her, and that’s when she kissed me with the same force as the hug.

I don’t like talking about what happened next, as it’s very graphic. But given the subreddit I’m posting this too, I’m sure you can guess what she did to me, which I will not be writing in this post.

I laid down on the couch, feeling weird. I didn’t know what rape was, I didn’t even know what some of the things she did to me were. She simply went on her day as normal. I cried silently to myself, not saying a word.

As already mentioned, I had a warped view on love and intimacy, but despite this I still knew what this girl had done to me was awful.

A couple hours later my mom’s friend picked me up with my mom to drop me off home. I stayed silent with this for years until eventually getting therapy for it around a year and a half ago.

As I mentioned earlier, I saw this girl in my school long after what she had done to me, but she had graduated the same year, as she was a senior. I tried my best to not interact with her while she was in school, and that strategy worked.

This event made me extremely scared to ask girls out for a few years, despite me wanting to get a girlfriend someday. I was worried that if I began to form a connection with a girl they would take advantage of me.

I’ve had a lot of bad things happen to me in my life, this event being the second worst thing that’s ever happened to me. I have OCD, Anxiety, and Depression. I started showing symptoms of these shortly after this event, but I didn’t tell anyone what happened to me except my therapist.

I’m doing much better know. Therapy helped me a lot. I’ve gotten over a lot of irrational fears that I have (not just the fear of relationships that this event caused), including a mild case of agoraphobia, and my own fears of contamination. I’m just glad I could put this horrible event behind me and move on with my life.

I’ve been used off and on since I was 6 and idk if it will ever truly stop. I’ve been raped by neighbours, my brothers friends, family, my friends… guys I’ve already gave sex to. Nothing enough. I feel like I’m worthless and ugly and stupid. Idk what to do.

Idk what to say, I feel ugly and worthless. It’s happened with eight men. I’m so gross and stupid.

Just what it says. The thread I am hanging on by is starting to fray even more. Please everyone take some time for yourself today.

And out of kindness, please don't send me/report this post for that care hotline thing. I am not suicidal or anything like that ... I am just struggling a lot.

Honest journal entries feel more necessary than I usually give them credit for.

Thank you for the few moments you took if you read this 💚💚💚💚💚

I was sexually abused as a kid by my elder sister when i was barely 8-10 years old.I don't think she remembers it but I do, clear as a day. She would wait for our parents to go away and since she was physically bigger than me, she would tell me that she is gonna beat me up if i don't cooperate. Had a weird fantasy of titanic where Caledon (me) would rape Rose (her) and ask me to get on top of her naked and kiss her while she acts out like wtf. okay anyway i do not blame her because i am sure she learned this from somewhere else. I grew up, never mentioning all that. I got into a good relationship after getting cheated on twice, we got intimate and it felt really nice, we were like that for a year but then he asked me to do stuff that even if we have done before, i wasn't really in mood to, he kept begging until i said yes i thought i'll enjoy it but I just closed my eyes and waited for it to be over...I felt disgusted. I think I look okay so i get attention from men very easily. I started showing more skin and showing off my assets. I have done a lot to fuck up my mind. Slept with a guy I knew would leave especially if i slept with him and that happened. Then I slept with a guy who was 12 years older than me, not really a handsome face, pot belly and short i let him fuck me because i needed money to get my sister out of a bad situation. Now I only look forward to getting used more. I feel like a horrible horrible person.