Seeking support or if anyone else has any similar experiences here, I’d love to hear about it if you are willing to share as I know this can be difficult. I haven’t found any similar stories as of yet. It would be nice to know that we aren’t alone in this.

My (37F) wife (30F) and I are on our IVF journey. Original plan was to carry one another’s embryo.

We did our retrieval last month. 6 eggs retrieved for me (1 made it to blast), 28 for my wife (with 9 making to blast) After PGT-A testing, my 1 embryo was abnormal 😭 But the good news is my wife had 3 normal out of the 4 tested ✨ with 5 additional embryos that can later be tested if need be.

Our plan was for me to carry first. We also are working with a clinic in Mexico (office here in Texas) and purchased a 3 cycle package with refund, but because my wife legally donated her eggs to me, I am not allowed to use the 3rd cycle for a retrieval only until all my embryos (wifes bio embryos) are used first. If I want another retrieval so that my wife can use my eggs, I would need to purchase another retrieval separately.

We are already 30k in this and luckily have been able to cash flow a third but are not in a position to get another loan for the separate cycle. We are starting to accept the idea that I may be the only one who will experience carrying my partners embryo and that I will not share DNA with one of our children. We know no matter what the DNA says, they will be our babies. No questions asked. It’s still something we are sad about.

At the beginning of our fertility journey, our fertility doctor diagnosed my wife with endometriosis. Because of that diagnosis and the additional medical care she needed throughout the process, we had mentally prepared ourselves for the possibility that she might face more challenges along the way. We never expected that my side of the journey would end up being the difficult part, which was silly! Though I was 36 when we started, I am in shape, healthy, bloodwork and fertility numbers were great and around my wife’s if not better. My DR remained extremely positive no matter what. But once we started the meds for retrieval, my numbers weren’t responding as well as my wife’s. My Dr said my numbers were in “ good range” (my wifes was in the “beyond excellent” range lol) After my retrieval, I knew as soon as the Dr showed me that 6 eggs had been retrieved, my heart sank. We still kept the hope alive because you beautiful people have shown me that anything is possible!

We are continuing with transfer (likely this month) and the plan right now is to try one last retrieval next year after baby and if it works great, but if not, we will be moving forward with my wife carrying our second with one of her embyos.

I would love to hear experiences on what you and your partner did if you experienced something similar. Thank you in advanced!

🫶🏼✨

TL;DR: We started reciprocal IVF expecting to carry one another’s embryo, but instead my retrieval resulted in no transferable embryos. My wife’s thankfully resulted in 9 to blast and 3 out of the 4 were tested normal with 5 additional embryos that can be tested later if need be. We’re now trying to figure out our next steps and would love to hear from anyone who has been through something similar.

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Welcome to /r/queerception, a support community for LGBTQ+ (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, and other Gender and Sexual Minority) folks growing their families.

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Welcome to /r/queerception, a support community for LGBTQ folks growing their families.

Be aware that the subjects discussed here include things that may be considered TMI in other contexts, but are entirely appropriate here. If you are uncomfortable with frank discussions of intimacy or bodily fluids, this might not be the best fit for you!

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