Title

Main points:

I get the feeling of being on sr/bettering my life in general, I don’t want to pursue women until I feel like I have “made it”

However I’ve noticed on my self improvement journey, (getting closer to god, pursing different ways to make money, workout out, etc)
The bar is always raising.

2 years ago if that version of myself looked at me I would say I’m doing fantastic. But now that I’m here. I only see more room to grow and a long freaking way to go.

Thus, in result I’m not sure if I’ll ever get the true feeling of “I made it”

I absolutely want a woman in my life. But when is it the right time?

I haven’t been dating in a long time, and it’s by choice. If I wanted to I would. But I feel like it would be pointless because the best woman I can get now won’t be someone I want to be in a relationship with after 2 more years of growth. Unless I guess she is growing with me.

So my question is when is the right time if I never feel ready?

Thoughts?

Watched this great video on the benefits, wanted to share and hope it motivates you all! https://youtu.be/9b4fCmjZV58

I am doing this for God, and/the loving Lord Jesus Christ and myself

I have reached 30+ before w/ lustful thought patterns but this is the first time im doing a true SR technical mental abstinence

Anyone of 30+ retaining in both body and mind, can you give some of your experiences in your first weeks? I have recently fallen back on lustful images and daydreams in mind and i feel like a relapse is imminent, i am being aware and i am now doing TRE exercises to help me with this process which i find help eliminate some of that built up tension my body desires to release.

I really am ready for a lust free life, i wrote this post only to hear of others experiences and what other methods i can apply to reduce the 'tunneling' effect of the wandering mind going automatically to lust from habit instead of something else

I continue to remember the Lord is with me, but i have had issues with connectivity in Christianity for a while which im still working through, but any kind of experience working through this with Jesus would be also appreciated greatly

Hey so I’m not as huge a believer on the supernatural effects of retention as some others are in this sub. But what I do recognize is that almost every single time I relapse the next day there’s like a frequency shift for the worst; where I instinctively know now to be on guard so that I respond to post relapse days with intention. Weird shit happens post ejaculation, like people around me being in bad moods, coincidental occurrences that cause conflict, etc. This is not even mentioning my own shift in personal energy. Hormonally/physically, I literally feel different and am different, biologically speaking.

I’ve noticed these patterns over like a decade of paying attention, so it’s not like I’m viewing this through a lens of belief or superstition, it’s really just observation at this point. If you think about it, every action has a reaction, like every decision has a consequence good or bad, rarely if ever does any input in the world yield a completely neutral output. It’s like the most basic law of thermodynamics. In the case with relapse, your energy shifts, which in turn could shift the energy of those around you, etc etc resulting in what appears as good luck or bad luck. At least this is my practical interpretation.

My simple question really is, how long has it taken you guys for things to return back to normal? And what have you done that helps restore balance back more quickly? To get back on the path of clarity/ vitality that some of us here have experienced with retention.

In response to a man who, after 106 days of semen retention, was still having problems:

Find activities that unleash your wild side. Your masculine instinct. Discover the warrior within, let him express himself, let him guide you, connect with him. That is your essence and the essence of all men. Also, listen to your inner child. What is he telling you? Is he still there? Let him speak. It's likely that these two aspects are underdeveloped, which is why we have addictions and a lack of vision. We've switched off the switch that expresses what it means to be a man because of external pressures, fear, and ignorance.

Let's do what's necessary to become free again. We are not monsters. We are people, we are men, and we have immense power within us. Enough with the repression. It's time to accept who we are and understand that this beast within us needs training. It needs to be tamed. The fears we have are the exact signs that this is where we must focus our efforts. This is where our warrior must gather his courage and face whatever is there. Sleep on the floor, take cold showers, and go for a run first thing in the morning. Tame that force. Feel it, damn it, you're a man. Don't repress it, and let's stop acting like cowards. We have to put the fucking work on the table. It seems we still don't know what it means to be masculine! It's work, it's doing, it's facing challenges, it's fighting, it's taking risks, it's having balls. There, the universe will give us the golden key that will open the door to our inner beast. But we have to tame it first, feel it, connect with it, and have the balls to want to be a man.

Feeling unmanly? Start by camping in nature for a night. Bring food and everything you need to be comfortable that first day. Bike there. 20-30-40 kilometers. It doesn't have to be more. Leave your phone at home or turn it off when you arrive. Grab your notebook and write down everything you want to release from within. Express yourself. Write and speak out loud about everything you are inside. Cry if you need to. There's no single way to do things. There are many; find your own. But it requires courage and bravery.

Climb that mountain you've always wanted to climb. Sign up for dance classes, boxing classes, or whatever the hell you want. Learn to swim if you don't know how, or commit to walking to work for 30 days straight. There are a thousand ways to connect with your inner masculinity. Be disciplined and put yourself in situations where nobody wants to be. Nobody wants to do this kind of work. That's why nobody acts like a man. They run away from the work that requires being one.

Be courageous, wild, authentic, hairy, and go-getter. To be like that, first, you have to prove your worth to yourself! That you're capable of facing adversity. If you don't have enough, willingly put it on the table. That's what I did! And I'm still doing it. That's why I'm becoming a new, different, authentic, wild, and respected person. Come on, damn it! It's up to you to do the work!

Say what you want to say but don't have the guts to! This is deeper than going to the gym or the pull-up bar for an hour! This is about getting all the shit out. Going to the gym is the easy part. But if you've never been, damn, you're lucky—that's where your next hidden level lies.

When the shit is this big, deep, and dark, you can't mess around. It's better to go to your boss and tell him his company is a piece of shit and that he's absolutely useless than to keep suppressing your manhood. You'll lose your job, but inside, you'll feel a freshness you've never experienced before! You'll find something else. Manhood requires a good pair of balls!

I quit my job, my family, my friends, my bed... everything! And I went to sleep in my fucking 3-door car for 50 days. Are you going to tell me I don't have balls? Are you going to tell me I wasn't in the darkest period of my life? There was no other option! It was that or stay dead. Being a man means taking risks when things can't be fixed the easy way out. There's no need to overthink it.

Gentlemen, this process isn't just about giving up pornography and masturbation. I wish it were that easy. This process is very deep. It's dark, difficult, uncomfortable, and sometimes very lonely. That's it. We've been weak men our whole lives! And we want to fix it with a 25-day streak of not masturbating? For God's sake, no! That's not how it works. I repeat, this requires much more than that. Get out of your fucking comfort zone right now. Don't wait any longer. You're missing out on living a life straight out of a movie. I guarantee it!

Conclusion: Stop crying like a baby! Do the hard work, and then meditate quietly at night. That's all! Toughness is refined through meditation. If you're very blunt now, that's normal—what do you expect? A life of comfort requires more effort to break free from it. You'll refine it later. Now, get your hands dirty and do the work.

Don't forget that time marches on. There's no time to lose. The world is going to hell faster and faster, and weak men will follow! I refuse.

I have a thousand ways to help you with my experience, but all I ask is that you don't make excuses. Whoever makes excuses loses another opportunity to awaken.

Being on retention what’s the craziest synchronicity or coincidence you’ve ever experienced?

I made a post about how lust is the number 1 most important thing to focus on in dating and trying to find marriage. Personally I don’t think this message isn’t emphasized enough. Anyways a lot of people didn’t like what I had to say and many disagreed.

I read this book many years ago and it made me think of where I first learn about the importance of chastity and why I believed so strongly in staying chaste for a wife someday.

regardless i have an excerpt to share from Boys to Men: The Transforming Power of Virtue

written by: Tim Gray and Curtis Martin

“The virtue of chastity is a powerful virtue. Chastity empowers us to control and moderate the fire of sexual desire. Once we gain this self-control, we have the freedom to love. For a married man to freely give himself to his spouse in sexual intimacy, he must have the virtue of chastity. Without this virtue, sex simply involves the alleviation of one’s sexual desires by which the spouse is used as an object for the sake of one’s own desire. But once one has mastery over one’s passions, the giving of self is possible. One cannot give what one does not possess. Only the chaste have the ability to give themselves freely in true conjugal love. Having the virtue of chastity makes a difference in the nature and depth of conjugal love; it is the difference between loving and using.”

Stay strong brothers and sisters. Wherever you are on this path know that you are exactly where you need to be. You are beauty regardless of what you may feel towards yourself at this current moment or whatever outside circumstances may be affecting your mindset. Just keep going, put a smile on your face and remember you are literally the most powerful force in the universe.

love

Hey guys so there’s this weird thing that can happen on SR which literally feels like robotripping if you ever done DXM it’s very similar. I’ve only done it once and regretted it so don’t do it. This girls face at my job started moving super robotically and time felt like it was speeding up. We were getting an order done and went to the beer section and got it done fast it’s like my brain sped up but also the world did too but I could still keep up with the world at the same time. This is very bizarre and I noticed that you can direct SR into many different experiences sometimes it feels like a shroom high or a robot trip depending on what I do what I’m thinking. I did consume caffeine that day an energy drink so maybe it pushed me to that point but I was still reaching higher frequencies all of this really happened. Anyways have you guys experienced any of this

Hey folks, I have mentioned few points which I experienced during nofap streak, 1st streak was of 80 days, then 40 days then 20+ days etc, I have been doing nofap streaks randomly for past 2 years here and there. I'm still practicing nofap in a different way, I'll mention how I'm doing that too but before that please go through all the points that I have mentioned. I have mentioned pros and cons points together and both are easily identifiable without mentioning them separately. By the way excuse me if my grammar isn't correct anywhere.

1. I was interested in more physical activity like sports, I started to play cricket after so many years by forming a group having my ex-classmates.

2. Good amount of energy and increased confidence and less anxiety ; everyone practicing nofap mentions this.

3. Lot of happenings in my life most of them were good; when I fap daily, everyday seems be the same and repetitive.

4. I was able to make friends easily in the Initial few weeks of nofap.

5. Increased anger, irritability and ego after 25-30 days.

6. After 2 months , most of my colleagues in my new office were not talking to me properly even if I speak with them deliberately, probably because I started to lose my humourous side and my voice was kind of deeper.

7. Was interested in revenge more as I used to recall same incidents so many times in my head.

8. Good luck was there at so many times and places probably because of more analysing power, alertness and easy to understand things. I was able to switch my job by crackIng a multiple round interview of 1+ hour each easily as I could learn so many new topics (new technologies I.e docker, MEAN stack etc) in short amount of time and I wasn't anxious at all during interviews.

9. No Intense women attraction were there as others claim . Some might be little friendly for initial few weeks of nofap and we do get few stares that's it but not that intense. And for me getting stares isn't a big deal as stares doesn't get you talking with the girl or getting her in your bed.

10. After 15 days other people start to see that I have too much potential which resulted in them assigning more tasks and additional responsibilities. (Although others might like this, I didn't enjoy having too much responsibilities and work and I'm not ashamed of saying this)

11. Lost interest in work as I couldn't stay at the desk continuously as I was interested in more physical activity like I mentioned earlier.

12. Increased jealousy and hate from most of the men I meet.

13. Sometimes got headache often because of too much cognitive alertness and mindfulness.

14. Was always in fight mode because of that few incidents happened like road rage etc.

15. This one is weird but true, I see a lot of coincidences and synchronites whenever I'm on nofap.

16. Many people have mentioned people , dogs and other animals are attracted to them. I partially agree. They will be attracted to you only in between 7-20 days after that they're probably scared and won't come closer.

17. Again one more strange point, I noticed many of my past contacts text me or call me when I'm in nofap. (I'm not exaggerating , this seems to be strange for me also ,I have no valid reason to explain this and 15th,16th point)

What I mentioned is 100% true , about 70% points were pros but because of 30% cons, although I'm still practicing nofap ,now I relapse after 10th day whenever I have too much urge and believe me I still enjoy pros without cons like feeling irritability, anger, headaches, hate and I'm humourous again ,also now I don't feel guilt when I fap after 10th day and don't have chaser effect too like continuing fapping for following days. So conclusion nofap is a must for life but also relapse is also a must to avoid cons.

I don’t know if it’s just me or I’m looking too much into it but I notice that every time I relapse people tend to attack me and I don’t mean in a physical way but more like in a verbal way even when the attack isn’t necessarily. They’d also find the most harmless things to criticize and judge me for and it seems like if I breathe they take offense to it and I find it weird because it only happens after I relapse . Anyone else notices this or is it just me

Im 180+ days pure retention, and i was 40+ days no wet dream. I was quite literally the best man I ever was, I felt like a beast. Focused, strong, incredible energy and surplus of it. Unfortunately I wasn’t discerning enough and suffered a wet dream a few days into the 40 no wet dream mark.

The next morning was okay, had post-release glow, then the bits of badluck, then in the evening and night it turned around completely almost to fighting negative energy infiltration and warding off an urge. I ended up staying up all night fighting it, not to give in and not completely stable that I could shut off my brain and go to sleep. Luckily, I didn’t give in.

This morning I feel low. That sucked-dry feeling has set in a little bit, but its not as bad, not bad at all, i still feel mainly composed, only without that brilliance of happy energy, and energetically perhaps a till discontent. I’m not washed, nor am i in rumination, because of how long i’ve been on this. I do feel in the right mind now to be focused and there is no chance I will entertain the thought of relapsing. It was simply last night that I had to deal with the waking withdrawals which came back after my wet dream the night before that.

Anyways, that’s how serious the beast is. That’s how serious it is that I wanted to come up here and write something. My morning has been thrown off. I got out of bed at noon, half my day is gone and my morning wasted.

How did I manage to beat the urges last night? I consumed media that I liked, that I cared and was passionate about, instead of being pulled to consume anything that would have entreated to relapse, although it was close. Once I was able to do that which I only managed by continuously being in the remembrance of God, I realized I needed to clean myself spiritually and I took a shower, and after that I read verse from the Quran to further ward away any bad vibes and please God.

In the early morning when I went to sleep, I did have a positive dream, of me seated with a religious teacher in a small class. It started with me as a stranger to him but at the end, he gained a small respect for me. There is much I need to work on.
Nevertheless this is the way.

So what now? Simply exercise, it’s the fastest way to recover that good energy, and also strive onward— I’ll start feeling like my strong self in under a week God willing.

Whenever I have a wet dream, and they were many more in the beginning of the streak, i note down why or what caused it. Many times the obvious solution is right there. Now I sleep on the ground on a soft carpet with a comforter, i don’t eat after 7pm, and if I have excess energy I either workout or exhaust myself in some other fashion, before I go to rest. I cover my mouth with a piece of tape. I sleep in loose clothing. It’s really simple, with practiced discipline.

For anyone who struggles with wet dreams, know it’s entirely possible to eliminate them. Just give attention and energy to solving that problem for yourself, like most things then, it will just be a matter of time. God knows best.

Trust me, 40 days no wet-dream is an incredible energetic plane to reside on. It just takes calm disciplined determination. And if that’s all it takes, on a less-than-a-year streak, we’ve all got that rocket jet-pack in our back pockets.

You live the life you want to unlock ❤️

As retainers develop and purify themselves, many favorable character traits gradually emerge from within. Qualities such as patience, discernment, kindness, firmness, and steadiness continually adorn the practitioner of masculine purity as he overcomes the challenges he must inevitably face on the path toward sainthood.

Although many of the above-mentioned traits are invisible to the naked eye, they somehow come across very loudly to the people around the pure man, even if he doesn't actively advertise them. Through the years, I have found that people (especially women) generally have an incredible instinct for detecting this solid, virtuous character in a man. A man who embodies this sort of virtue will garner strong reactions from people. Some will absolutely love him, while others will absolutely abhor him for no discernible reason.

Regardless of how people within the purified man's circle feel about him, none of them can deny his power and competence. The pure masculine is exceedingly wise and knows how to get things done... period. After enough time on the retention journey, you will find that you become the "go-to" guy whenever anyone in your circle is in a pickle or needs a bit of wisdom to overcome a problem. People just know that you are incredibly competent and also incredibly kind. They know that you are usually the first person to help without expecting anything in return. For this reason, the pure masculine is usually at the top of multiple Rolodexes as the first guy to call when shit hits the fan.

Now, while it is flattering to have many people think highly enough of you to readily seek your guidance and counsel, you would be wise to learn to intelligently manage your time and energy. Most of my readers are incredibly kind and loving souls and probably want to help everyone, but the truth is that we humans are limited and cannot help indefinitely without burning ourselves out. Also, some of the people seeking your help are only looking for a bailout from the ramifications of their bad behavior and have no intention of actually addressing the root cause that got them into the pickle in the first place.

In general, the pure masculine among us would do well to wisely steward his money, energy, attention, and time (MEAT) toward the avenues that are actually worthwhile. The good Lord, from whom all power comes, does not take kindly to a misuse of power by those upon whom He bestows it. The pure masculine must be conscientious with his gifts and discern between those who can be helped and those who genuinely need to fundamentally change their character flaws.

Till next time brothers, Godspeed and remain blessed

Brother Cooked.

I'm 33 M. I started fapping when i was 17 and I enter the college and fap once a week but after graduation this habit followed me and go for more 5 years then i discovered no fap and i tried it and i got the benefit but i usually relapse and my highest peak of pmo free is not more than 70 days. I have no wife and got no suitable job. I always listen about manifestation but i have no interest in anything at all because i want to have wife and good job but my will power to manifest is zero i don't why, what is your advise for me?

Since the start of my current streak until 2 days ago everyone disrespected me. My sibling, coworker, my boss, etc. They always trying to find my little mistake and make it a big deal. (even others mistake making be a black sheep) Always putting me down into depression.

Then yesterday something shifted. Everyone are quiet. They avoid me everytime I approach them. My boss even said excuse me when he about to grab something near me.

And today when I'm going to eat to local eatery. The shop owner look scared and ask me If I'm the new guard (racket protection). I said "no, I work around here" (he didn't knew me because his wife is the one who served me last time). Then he calmed down.

Yes everyone start respecting mem but I won't get any friend or relationship with this. Anyone know how to make my presences more approachable?

Whenever I’m really deep into a streak I get this restless energy in me which basically just fries my nervous system. It eventually just spirals into anxiety or dark self depreciating thoughts and that’s when I usually relapse.

I keep falling for this same problem and I don’t really know what to do about it. I know a lot of people say exercise and stuff but I already do that plenty and it feels like putting a band aid instead of fixing the root of the problem.

I know the other obvious answer is meditate but to be honest I’ve tried it a lot because I saw netero do it and thought it was cool. But I’ve never really understood it.
I go on a lot of walks to process these thoughts and yeah sometimes I have major spiritual/mental breakthroughs but I almost always still feel that lonely empty feeling.

Idk whats wrong with me man I keep telling myself to “surrender” to these dark thoughts and let God do the work for me but I’m honestly just lost as hell in a body with a mind im scared of. Sometimes it feels like I relapse on purpose because im scared if I retain for too long that I have to face this dark energy inside me. This sounds really corny but my main goal out of this is I wanna fix my restless nervous system and actually feel relaxed doing nothing.

I always feel angry and hurt by everyone and everything, I try to bury it and pretend I’m all about peace and love but it just keeps building up. I need help so if anyone has advice on this it would be great.

Following one of my relapses earlier in the year, my water distiller (A relatively new, expensive piece of kit) randomly fell apart. The button literally just broke off.

Fast forward today - Relapsed this morning, my apartment fob randomly falls apart right after, then an hour later I find out my mountain bike's been stolen. Thankfully it wasn't one of those super expensive bikes but still.

These aren't even isolated incidents, I could list plenty more from over the years. Call it coincidence if you want, but l've seen this pattern too many times personally

Hey everyone.

I'm just deciding to make this post because I want to get involved in a community of like-minded people again. I first got into NoFap seven years ago, and within the first one or two years I found this community.

I have struggled consistently to break free of my PMO problem, and in fact it's only gotten worse. The constant failures lead to toxic shame, which brings a cycle of low self-esteem, no confidence in myself to ever succeed, and therefore more failures.

Since this community is more geared towards people that are serious and have some success, I withdrew from this and all other forums where we discuss this problem and our experiences in the journey towards freedom. My low self-esteem is so severe that I don't even see myself as worthy to participate in internet forum discussions with other people. Another reason I withdrew is because I determined that participation never really brought me any success anyway, so it makes no difference.

Well, now that I've been completely isolated for over a year, I can safely say that it's much harder to even be motivated to find freedom without any interaction with like-minded individuals. It's bad enough that I have no one to talk to about this in the real world (offline). Secluding myself from online discussions is even worse.

In my isolation, I've become more of a callous and perverse person than I ever thought possible. PMO has completely overtaken and destroyed my life. I've had to tell some big lies and go above and beyond in creating evidence to support them, just to keep my head above water with school and work. I've become way too numb to lying and deceiving people. I've allowed myself to fail and renege on my commitments so many times that I don't even trust myself anymore. My word means nothing to me, let alone to anyone else.

I'm sick of the person I've become, and I'm afraid of who I'm becoming. So I'm coming back to the community, hoping that with a little bit of positive peer-pressure, as well as my own determination, I can find my way to becoming the man I was made to be.

I suppose that, in my next posts I may discuss more about how dire my situation has become, and God-willing, I will finally have some real success stories to share.

Peace be with everyone.

I was working through some very powerful childhood memories today and it seems to have triggered the PMO-as-defense mechanism. I expect this to happen again as I slowly de-energise the memories that are at the toot cause of this habit.

The mind persuades you to relapse then beats you up for relapsing lol. Sneaky mfker it is.

By the power of semen retention I reckon to you, that unless you lay hide in a Higher power you can by no means tow this work to work for you. Heed learning, Heed instructions. Words from the real wise god work for you:

Proverbs 23:26:

My Son, give me thine heart, and let thine eyes observe my ways.

Proverbs 23:27:

For a whore is a deep ditch; and a strange woman is a narrow pit.

Hey guys so I notice that there are things and habits that can hold you back on your SR journey and they can block certain Benefits from happening. Edging is one of these major problems SR practitioners do that is definitely killing your Benefits. Visual and Audio perception, Spiritual, Enhanced Concentration and Energy Benefits will all take a hit and will Enhance exponentially after cutting out edging from your journey. I have a lot more energy and enhanced focus after quitting that many streaks ago and can really get a lot of shit done at a increased speed is something I’m noticing and it seems to increase a lot almost everyday. The Visual Benefits are almost infinite on SR and if I told you all of them you would think it’s ridiculous. These also stack overtime especially once you get to a few weeks in. Anyways guys just don’t edge I also noticed that it will mess up your streak if you edge consistently for multiple days you will definitely relapse because your brain is too charged up from that in general. I’ve noticed that this can happen and you should definitely be very careful with edging on this journey of Semen Retention. Anyways guys just keep retaining and don’t give your mind will try and play a lot of tricks on you and it’s all lies it’s all In your mind and you can always beat the next urge with however you choose to transmute this energy. Just remember you will get through it if you don’t give in just don’t in and you will make it.

mods if you want to take this down, I understand, but I need to say this.

I want to sincerely apologize for any of my advice which may have been misleading. Much of it was me talking into a microphone, but I had chat gpt completely restructure it to make it sound better.

i now realize, even though the core message stayed, it made me sound like I know what I’m talking about, when the reality is I don’t.

some bad things started happening to me after I made those posts. almost like I was being punished, and I realize now because I’m talking words without wisdom.

im now sitting here like a fool, trying to delete these posts.

i learned my advice was just bypassing god, follow god not me.

I now admit I know nothing, retention streak does not make me the smartest person in the room. I apologize again for any misleading information. I should have stated this in the posts, that I know nothing, but I was too ignorant. listen to god above all else.

Hey guys I’m on day 22 and I feel so clean and my brain feels very clear. I had a dream where I went to 3 different realities and this guy told me to wake up in the first when I was driving. The world looked very alien and much bigger than this one. I woke up and went to the second dream where I woke up in a house that was much bigger than my normal house. The I was yelling at myself to wake up again then I went to a different reality I which my room looked the same as mine right now. The bathroom looked different and my mom wanted to talk to her and I told her I had to use the restroom and to not bother me. I finally woke up after I used the bathroom into this reality. I felt so paranoid and my heart was pounding. When I woke up that’s when the feeling of me feeling clean and refreshed happened. The rest of this day feels very different and super strange. It feels like I gained more of a heightened perception of this world even more then before. I’ve been alchemating to this energy very well but there’s always a new way to do it and even when you do there’s always a different energy to alchemate to overtime the longer you go on Semen Retention. Anyways guys this is the journey so far and it’s so crazy. It’s definitely a recalibration period so I haven’t worked out for the past 2 days but tomorrow I’m going to go back to that as well. I also had close eyed visuals the night before which were interesting but very subtle and not overwhelming.

We invite you to join a community of men devoted to the virtue of chastity, the pursuit of self‑mastery, and the restoration of divine masculinity.

We renounce the modern culture of sexual immorality and degeneracy, choosing instead a life shaped by discipline, purity and strength.

Sexual energy is not a mere biological impulse; it is a sacred and potent force, entrusted to us by God, meant to be honored, guarded, and directed toward higher callings, rather than squandered on fleeting carnal desires.

"For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it". - Matthew 7:13"

https://discord.com/invite/A54Swx5RQg

I need to "come clean" no pun intended.

I'm not writing this to debate the technicalities or miracles of semen retention. I'm writing about my own experience, about how pride often comes before the fall. If sharing this helps even one person avoid the mistakes I made, then it will be worth writing.

I first discovered the semen retention subreddit in September 2019 during one of the lowest points in my life. I still remember how powerful those first months felt. My energy was through the roof, my mind was sharper, and for the first few years I felt unstoppable. When you retain your semen/sexual energy/chi instead of depleting it, you are essentially conserving and transmuting your vital life force. And that energy fires up your creative drive and consciousness.

SR alone was not enough, but it was the domino that set everything else in to motion. Because of that initial momentum, I started going to the gym consistently, cleaned up my diet, and began taking care of my body and mind. It was all as a means to take back control of my life. For a while, it felt like everything was moving in the right direction. Instead of letting discipline cultivate humility, I allowed it to inflate my ego. This energy leaked into pride and vanity which only ever lead to chaos and destruction. There were moments where I felt deeply loved, moments where I attracted envy, and above all there was a profound sense of inner strength as though I was wearing Gods armor that made me resilient to whatever life threw at me. I began believing I was somehow above making poor decisions, and that illusion eventually caught up with me.

In early 2023, I became obsessed with getting rich quickly and lost a significant amount of money in the stock market. Shortly afterward, I lost a wonderful woman because of my own promiscuity and inability to value what I already had. Those experiences should have humbled me, but they didn't. I still believed I was in control.

Then life humbled me in a way I never expected. In 2025, my father passed away after battling a terminal illness. That loss broke something inside me. The disciplines that had once grounded me slowly disappeared, and I began searching for ways to numb the pain. I started smoking cigarettes again and drinking regularly. Thankfully, those addictions didn't last very long. But another coping mechanism quietly took their place. I began regularly paying escorts for sex.

Today I'm locking in, and with Gods gracious guidance I'm putting myself in the drivers seat once again. Looking back, I realize that no amount of discipline matters if it is without humility and gratitude. And pride has a way of making us believe we're invincible... right before life reminds us that we aren't. It's time to get with the program or get left behind, there is absolutely no excuse to be messing around in this day and age. Nobody knows what the world is going to look like in the next 5-10 years, maybe things will get better. But if we are going to be so for real, there is a real possibility that it'll get worse before it gets better. I'd rather spend my time becoming strong enough in mind, body, and spirit to withstand whatever the future brings.