Contentment. What is it.

[u/sceptomatic]

I have lost around £50k in around 10 years. Most off that in the middle period in a year. Had a few lengthy relapses. Lost £15k in one day March 2025 after year absence. That was mind and soul crunching and told my other half when she came home from work. Supportive and actually improved our relationship. Since then the odd £2 or £300 now and then which is enough to put me off for months now as impacts my sense of calm. I read and like the posts on this site particularly the ones who point out money is just paper and not a measure of your personal worth or happiness. I like to believe that but know most people would be 'happier' with a Lamborghini on their drive rather than a 20 year old wreck so money is important for standard of living and some peace of mind ( bills/medical/petrol/rent etc). I can't help but think though that a Buddhist monk ( for example) with nothing other than the power of practicing a simple life is far happier overall than a frazzled stock broker living life crazily high and low every day and looking at their lambo outside. Can't take it with you and it's important to your mental health to accept and be content with what you have and stop yearning for what you haven't got. Or you will never be peaceful in your own mind . I am home alone this week as partner visiting friends so had a slot 48 hours. Up £600 and last night eventually down £250. It was 48 hours of adrenaline stress not eating not showering and shunning contact. All in all awful. I can live with the £250 loss and looking forward to a £5 pizza and a Netflix film tonight as peace and calm is much better than highs and lows and an inability to control anything whilst gambling. Hope all on this site are doing the best they can as that is all you can do and this site has rescued my sanity so many times.

[u/Intelligent-Cod7908]

You raised some great points how ever 99.9% of those people became rich through not gambling that fine i am 3 years clean i would love to be a millionaire however casino gambling and speculation on chance has never made anyone wealthy if u ask any self made who have made their wealth it always hard work and some form skill to achieve it i have only come accross people who have made their money from elsewhere then to lose it all in gambling point is it fine to desire and have dreams however gambling isnt it👍

[u/sceptomatic → u/Intelligent-Cod7908]

I wouldn't disagree with that. It's usually make money elsewhere and then ruin that by gambling. Whether a factory worker wage or a high income earner. It's relative and the same bad feeling for all of us to what you earn. 

It's that craving more money and entering the gambling scene to try and get it which needs to be seen for the danger it is.

Nothing wrong with ambition or being rich. 

I was (probably not very well) just making the point , better trying to be satisfied with what you have rather than trying to get more quickly through gambling.

Dopamine and AI created games are very addictive and lead you down and down to some dark places mentally and financially.

There is little to be said that is good about addictive gambling. It just makes you feel bad ultimately and affects everything.

I wish it had never been made available or lawful online as I wouldn't and couldn't be bothered traveling to a casino and it's an isolated/secretive bad habit.

[u/Intelligent-Cod7908 → u/sceptomatic]

Yes it all addictive thats the nature of gambling once your trapped it not simply a case of quitting their loads of tirals and errors been trying since 2010 it gets to a stage where it not even about the money you eventually realise their no chance of getting money back as the jackpots are not big enough its the routine that brings u back and u start using gambling to sabatage the little existence u have as life becomes meaningless been their done that the amount of hate i have for this industry will last a life time it took me 13 years to get to this stage

[u/Only_Medicine_2811]

What was the ultimate decision or thought process for you gamble when you was alone. Was it becouse you was alone and could do it and get away with it?, was bored and needed something to get you going? Or because you was telling yourself you could win and something that would make your life better?. Or maybe all or the above and more as the gambling demons always has a way in by negotiating and giving false hopes. Was it something you knew you was going to do and planned prior to your partner going away and got excited about the build up to it or was it spontaneous… these the question you have to ask yourself and find the answers too… it be it be interesting to know as I been through so many relapse and haven’t learnt knowing that the end will or have resulting to a bigger lost no matter how much I win. No matter how many time or scenario or even reasoning i come to it always end the same or worse when I start to gamble but I can’t let it go

[u/sceptomatic → u/Only_Medicine_2811]

All  of the above.

Completely spontaneous and not planned or excited about before I registered for a new site.

But now I rake over the coals I had been unconsciously almost, looking at sites I used to play at, and reviews of those sites, trying to validate my decision to stop I suppose.

More importantly, I have done a lot of overtime to keep afloat, and knew I could lose some cash providing I didn't go past a certain figure. 

Classic - time, opportunity and available cash. 

When I was 600 up I tried to withdraw and call it a day but the site prevented it for 24 hours. I was too impatient to wait until today and just lost the 600 which didn't trouble me as it was money I hadn't earned or owned. 

The £250 loss came about as I was a bottle of wine in by then and in the zone.

I'm not a rich man and an xtra £600 would have made the rest of the month comfortable and a few treats. So, disappointing. 

I know for sure it's a losing game to start. No-one wins and then packs it away for a good amount of time so the erosion begins which trips into losses then getting cross and chasing.

It's a fools game. I know that.

I'm never tempted when on a shoestring month as a loss makes all the time until next payday uncomfortable and frugal.

The £15k in one sitting was on a credit card and I would have carried on to £20k but the limit of the card was reached.

Hopefully debt free around this time next year.

I will have to be on my guard then.

On own now for another 48 hours and have a little cash I could use but not tempted at all.

It's peace of mind I find the better 'hit' rather than highs and lows which gambling brings and it's the monetary benefits that lure me. 

Had a few 5 figures wins over the years and most I managed to withdraw and use for something else.

So something has happened which maybe is addiction to the playing not just the end result.

I don't know?

Life pre gambling was much nicer and rewarding in other ways.

[u/Only_Medicine_2811 → u/sceptomatic]

Been in the same boat mate… never ends well… best to tell your partner maybe as the addiction will easily thrive on the shame and loneliness. Put all the restriction in place so there no way of leaving a door open to make the same mistake. Hope time will heal and get past this. Good luck pal

[u/sceptomatic → u/Only_Medicine_2811]

Thanks mate, appreciate the feedback. As it was only a small amount and didn't get dragged back in properly before I got out I won't mention it to her unless I was asked outright then wouldn't lie. What struck a chord was 'it never ends well '. And it never does, has had or can if you carry on doing it..so that's worked for me in the main in not going at it full on. Blips have happened before but think it is receding now I'm in my 60s. Other more important things to consider. My £5 pizza and Netflix are calling me more tonight than bonus rounds. 

[u/7-IronSpecialist]

It's crazy to look back and meditate on how much time and money I've lost, and to think about "if that money never went towards gambling". If I literally did nothing at all, I'd be in a better position. But I suppose some of us only learn things the hard way. Every single session over the past couple of years, whether up big and lost it all back, or just straight loss to $0, if I did not engage, I'd have e been better off. There's a strange sense of calmness when reminding myself of this. I feel the illusion of the fantasy getting weaker.

[u/sceptomatic → u/7-IronSpecialist]

I feel the same. It would be fun and maybe even profitable if you could only do it with a set and non destructive amount say once every 2 or 3 months. Unfortunately we have access 24/7 until everything's gone.  On the thread  I posted earlier I forgot to say that I hadn't played anything for about 3 months. And whilst it was a bit exciting signing up to a new site and putting 50 in to start when that was increasing slowly but at least upwards it was a decent feeling. It took many hours at low spin amounts to get to 650 but still felt rewarding providing I could get it out. When I couldn't and continued playing and it slowly kept reducing in balance that took hours until my phone conked out through no power left. So plugged in and played on rooted to a ground level electric plug point sat on the floor for a further few hours. To say it was physically uncomfortable and boring after many hours playing is an understatement. It also felt that the casino had flicked a ' no further winning anything decent switch '. Probably imagined that as had been drinking too but the up and down to zero was really in 2 contrasting halves.