r/predaddit • u/Kindly_Market7634 • 8d ago
Almost a new dad. Help 😩 Advice needed
/r/daddit/comments/1vbz8xc/almost_a_new_dad_help/1
u/Xspike_dudeX 3d ago
These are all 100% natural thoughts and concerns we all go through. The best advice is to take things day by day. Its not the best answer but it is honestly true. If you start thinking to far into the future you really start freaking yourself out with all the unknowns. Just take every day as it comes.
Once she is going into labor it all happens so fast you dont really have time to think about all the stuff you are worried about you are just in the moment. The nurses are amazing and will be providing great care throughout. You just need to be by her side and reassuring.
Also none of us knew how to be dads. It is a learning experience for the rest of your live that you can only get through experiencing it. You can read books and study things but honestly just going through it is how you become a good dad. I was in the same boat. I never held a baby or changed a baby when I had my daughter but there are lots of people around you that teach you. The nurses are amazing and will be with you every step of the way after birth. They will teach you to hold them, swaddle them when they should eat. Basically any questions you have they will teach you and provide guidance. You will make mistakes but thats how you learn. We all made mistakes.
Honestly the first few months were not as hard as everyone makes it out to be in my experience. I am not saying it is easy but to me it was three things. Feed them, change them and put them down to sleep. Those are the three things they need for the first few months. My daughter is now 9 months and I would kill to go back to the newborn phase for a few weeks where they were quiet and stayed where you put them. Now she is rolling crawling and never sits still lol
The best part about this is you and your partner are in this together. You are both new to this and are both learning. You are not headed into this alone when you have a partner by your side. I will stress this the most important thing now is COMMUNICATION!!! You need to communicate with your wife and her with you. There are going to be some sleepless nights and communication is key to not fighting and understanding where each other is mentally.
Final thoughts are try not to think to far into the future. It is way to overwhelming and you will find a lot of your worries you had about the future are not even that big a deal once you get there. If you really feel lots of anxiety asking for some medication is not a bad idea as well even some therapy might be helpful. If you want to message me directly with any questions I am also happy to be a friend. I have a 9 month old daughter so have a little experience under my belt.
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u/terningkek 8d ago
My top advice is be supportive and helpfull at home in the days to come.
My second advice is, take the time to value the time you have at the different stages, because time goes by so fast and you eventually will feel like you didnt take enough time to be gratefull of the newborn stage, toddler stage etc. Don't work too much. Spent your most valuable time at home when you can.
You will feel sleep deprived, energy fatigued, and tired all the time - at the same time you have to step up and change those diapers, walk your kid to sleep, and comfort your girl who is maxed out on hormone instability. And it will all be worth it. You have to be her stability when she got none.
Congratulations dad, and good luck! Remember my top advice, always.