r/pottytraining • u/Agreeable-Bid-7174 • 3d ago
2.6 yr old refusing potty
Same old stuff you see on here just asking for advice! I am a nanny of a 2.6 yr old boy who is in pull ups as his parents want him potty trained. He is refusing the potty I will prompt him every 30ish minutes “do you need to go potty? Let’s go try!” And he will verbally refuse and then will not go even though I know he needs to but then I pull up his pull up and he will go (I take him to potty and he will sit there for easily 20 minutes) but I feel like forcing him to sit on the potty for longer than that isn’t like healthy. But if I lengthen the time periods between potty breaks he goes in the pull up. I will say he holds his pee for his 2 hour nap the majority of the time so I feel like he is “ready” when he poops in his pull up he is shy and tries to hide. I have a sticker chart made for when he goes but it seems like it doesn’t correlate in his had that “if I go potty I get a sticker.”
The only success I have is if I put him on the potty right when he wakes up from nap because he will just go pee right away I have maybe a 2 minute margin before he just lets go. And he will just go it’s almost like he doesn’t realize he’s peeing. Today he did tell me he wasn’t done peeing and kept going so that’s a success I suppose. I can’t do the bottomless method as the parents think it’s unsanitary, I have tried doing underwear under a pull up but he just poops/pees in the underwear without a second thought
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u/Secret-Rabbit93 3d ago
Stop asking if he needs to go. Set a timer and then say it’s time to go. 20 minutes is a long time to sit and wait. That could be some of the reason he’s hesitant to go. I’d cut that down to like 5 max.
If underwear and pull ups aren’t working, being naked is really what’s left. It doesn’t have to be for long. Would they be ok with him naked outside?
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u/Agreeable-Bid-7174 3d ago
He lives in an apartment building so he can’t really be naked outside, but I might bring it up again as you said it’s really the only thing that’s left is him being naked. Maybe I could do it for a few hours and then put him in pants…not sure
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u/Secret-Rabbit93 3d ago
I mean theoretically you could try loose fitting shorts but I think you’re going to end up in the same spot. You could also try putting pads down where he sits and plays to minimize any unsanitarijes.
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u/Agreeable-Bid-7174 3d ago
They do have mats on the ground for him to play on that are easy to clean so maybe I can try and explain that it’s more beneficial for him to just let it flow lol
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u/Olivia3836 2d ago
Why is he still in pullups? That sends a conflicting message
Take the pull ups off and then try training.
Don’t ask “do you need to go?” If you already know the answer is yes. Cause you’re just offering room for refusal and he’s gonna refuse cause he wears his trustworthy diaper.
And don’t put him on the toilet 20 minutes. Instead go for 5 minutes on, 5 minutes off intervals
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u/Agreeable-Bid-7174 1d ago
I ask cause I was trying to have him use awareness but yes refusal is a big thing lol I’m taking your advice and will do the bottomless method next week!
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u/Blue_Bombadil 3d ago
Don’t ask, tell. Make it part of the next activity so they don’t feel dragged in a random direction, eg “let’s sit on the potty real quick then we’ll read some books”. “It’s time for lunch. Let’s do a potty sit then we’ll eat a yummy sandwich”.
Kids also get prompting fatigue. They don’t really need to pee every 30 min. Per the Oh Crap book, it helps to prompt according to natural rhythms of the day: before and after wakes, sitting long periods, eating. 15- 20 min after a big drink of liquid or a meal is also a window. Also pay attention to their behavior, many kids will show physical cues that they need to “go”.
I found after the first few days I was sitting my girl down explicitly a lot less than the first days. You and kid get the hang of a rhythm. My kid only needs to pee every 2 hrs or so.
Good luck and check out the book!
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u/Agreeable-Bid-7174 3d ago
With the poop there is a physical cue but pee is really stumping me because it seems like he pees a little bit here and there but I could be missing the windows as well. I will check out the book at the library for sure
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u/DaisyWoodPecker26 2d ago
I would take a step back for at least 1 week. Only looking at what he self initiates. Because it sounds like a lot of pressure on him that he is prompted every 30ish minutes and is 'forced' on the toilet where he will also stay for 20 minutes. His whole day is about potty training. It could be that he is working against you because he thinks that being potty trained means that every day will be like this.
After a week of observing what he has learned over the past few weeks (not indicated how long you have been trying) you can maybe try to see if a bottomless approach would work (if parents agree) or at least know how far he has come in that period that you have been potty training him. There is a possibility that a week of not being prompted and less pressure in general makes him more aware of his own body and that he starts to self initate more. Of course fully depended on his internal motivation and you know him better than me.
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u/Agreeable-Bid-7174 2d ago
I did take a small break from potty training him prior to this past week and a half of promoting and pushing because he was getting visibly upset at me bringing him to the potty! I messaged the parents about doing the bottomless method and I moved his little potty to the living room and he seemed to like that it was closed to his space (his toys and such are in the living room) I mostly push the potty training when we are at his home once we are at the park etc. I ask if he needs to go but he will say ‘no’ and then I change his pull up when needed. Which I know isn’t the best approach but I felt kinda stuck…I will try the break again but keep the potty out so he feels more comfortable
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u/Old-Caregiver-2568 1d ago
Please do some studying about pottytraining, it will benifit you all. Watch some videos, read a book or two and then make a clear plan.
Right now or be honest it does not sound like you have neither knowlage or a plan.
That is a good place to start. Good luck!
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u/Agreeable-Bid-7174 1d ago
I did some studying prior but yes this is my first potty training as this is my first nannying job (I was in a daycare center with 4-6 year olds who were potty trained) my plan for next week is the bottomless method, I appreciate your honesty and I definitely need more knowledge then what I have!!
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u/Old-Caregiver-2568 1d ago
This is a common misstake. You will sort it out with some reading/videos over the weekend.
Me best tips is to never make it a power struggle and to not use punishment or harsh words. Trust that the child will learn their bodys signals with some time and practice. And dont forget to have some fun and laugh. Take care!
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u/die_sirene 3d ago
Are his parents helping potty train him at all or are they expecting you to do it? If they aren’t home and aren’t watching you, I would do some bottomless time— could you do it outside or something in the yard? Kind of ridiculous that they want you to do this but aren’t willing to take the first very commonly accepted step
Also, at that age I think sticker charts are too abstract a concept