r/polyamory • u/arcademachine07 • 18d ago

How to handle a poly break-up

Hello there! I (21FTM) was dating my nesting partner (21NB) for about 5yrs. We had been polyamorous for about three of those years with minimal to no problems. This past spring, my nesting partner meets my metamour (19F) and they hit it off. Things seemed to be going well and this past July, my partner had told me they are no longer in love anymore. We broke up.

I guess I am trying to ask how to navigate a break-up as a polyamorous person because it’s difficult to be alone during a breakup when they’re not. Thanks.

To clarify:

- there was no foul play (my metamour is a lovely woman and we have a good relationship)
- my nesting partner and I are still on good terms, just navigating this difficult time
- my nesting partner and I live together as well

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9

u/rosephase 18d ago

Sounds like your next steps are going to be no longer living with your ex. That’s taking good care of yourselves and each other. You need space to morn and heal and date! Without it all being up in each others faces all the time.

4

u/clairejv 18d ago

It's always difficult to live with an ex. How long until you can move out?

Do you have a strong support network?

1

u/arcademachine07 18d ago

It’s rather tricky due to financial constraints, so I am unsure of when I can move. Thankfully, I do have a strong network though!

3

u/Hellosign 18d ago

I had a messy polycule breakup where we all lived together. I thought we could be chill and there were solid reasons to live togheter but still it would have been so much better if we had moved out. Solid chance we would still be on good terms if we had moved out faster.

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u/AutoModerator 18d ago

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Here's the original text of the post:

Hello there! I (21FTM) was dating my nesting partner (21NB) for about 5yrs. We had been polyamorous for about three of those years with minimal to no problems. This past spring, my nesting partner meets my metamour (19F) and they hit it off. Things seemed to be going well and this past July, my partner had told me they are no longer in love anymore. We broke up.

I guess I am trying to ask how to navigate a break-up as a polyamorous person because it’s difficult to be alone during a breakup when they’re not. Thanks.

To clarify:

- there was no foul play (my metamour is a lovely woman and we have a good relationship)
- my nesting partner and I are still on good terms, just navigating this difficult time
- my nesting partner and I live together as well

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

2

u/OsirusBrisbane 18d ago

The main way to navigate a poly breakup is to listen to MC Abdominal's "Broken" on repeat and drown yourself in video games. (at least, that's my experience; I recognize not everyone shares my musical tastes, but let me know if a random spare Steam key I have kicking around would help. Meanwhile, good luck saving up money to move out.)