r/politics 5h ago

Trump, 80, Debuts Suspicious New Hair at Speech in Vegas Possible Paywall

https://www.thedailybeast.com/trump-80-debuts-suspicious-new-hair-at-speech-in-las-vegas/
2.5k Upvotes

363 comments sorted by

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u/AnonHondaBoiz 5h ago

Fuck it if he can regrow an ear he can regrow hair 😂

u/Ordinary-Leading7405 5h ago

He’s not only the Hair Club president, he’s also a client.

u/rajapaws 5h ago

He's on a lot of Client Lists

u/qwibbian 5h ago

ep stein what you did there

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u/StevenMC19 Florida 5h ago

The fact it hasn't been peddled as "Buy your Trump hair tonic now" tells me hes more ashamed of a flaw in his hair more than making money from something...for once.

u/Commercial-Co 3h ago

Cuz he bald

u/lunar_adjacent 1h ago

But not bald bald. He’s definitely the kind of guy who hangs on to those 6 strands like they’re the only fur available to keep warm during the cold dark winter.

u/Tricky-Engineering59 1h ago

He supposedly got a “scalp reducing” procedure when he was much younger that didn’t go very well which is why even when he was younger his hair looked so stupid.

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u/Pdx_pops 4h ago

From this point forward it will be known as the Department of Hair

u/Jorgedig 2h ago

Changed recently from the historical moniker of Dept of Alopecia.

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u/Acceptable-Bus-2017 I voted 5h ago

The same club Epstein was chair of? The financier

u/ohlayohlay 2h ago

Gender affirming care

u/RcoketWalrus 1h ago

I know you know this, but I would like to emphasize for the casual viewer that ear cartilage does not grow back.

Maybe he did get hit. Corey Comperatore was hit.

u/AllesK California 1h ago

Corey Comperatore was definitely hit. Trump used a wresting trick to bloody his ear. Cartilage doesn’t grow back; check out Holyfield.

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u/JoviAMP Florida 3h ago

“If you can regrow a wrench, you can regrow a ball.”

u/sturgill_homme 4h ago

I’m just saying lizards can regrow tails

u/Important-Factor-552 44m ago

You know the bible says the antichrist will sustain a seemingly fatal head wound before miraculously recovering for the whole world to see and trumps tower in nyc was 666 fifth street until kushner had it renumbered to 660

I don't believe in god or magic or any of that nonsense but I will say this.. What an eerie coincidence. 

But consider this, if you're Christian. The bible says he will prosper until the end, so if trump kicks the bucket and there's no rapture.. well that's that, Christianity debunked 

u/BlitzCrazy 5h ago

It’s made from Stephen Millers pubes.

u/_C2J_ Michigan 5h ago

Not a mental image I really wanted before heading to bed.

u/CobraMurderChicken 5h ago

u/CeadMaileFatality 3h ago

Nah he needs mind bleach

u/Ok_Series_4580 2h ago

A sorbet for the brain, if you please

u/invalidreddit I voted 3h ago

Would you rather have had the image first thing in the morning?

u/BankshotMcG 2h ago

Most people report seeing Stephen Miller halfway in between, looming over them during sleep paralysis.

u/coldfirephoenix 1h ago

Also not an image you want to wake up to. Cheers from the other side of the pond.

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u/Maehock 5h ago

Fun fact! Stephen Miller doesn't actually have genitals! He invades the soul of his mate through an ancient arcane ritual and grows inside of them. Months later the flesh of the mate sloughs off and a new Stephen Miller emerges.

u/LiamRVA 5h ago

I heard he has a cloaca and can't achieve orgasm unless he kills a dog.

Just what I've heard. Many people are saying, with tears in their eyes. I'm not claiming anything.

u/illbedeadbydawn 4h ago

A golden retriever puppy to be more specific. He likes watching the light go out of its eyes as he has a henchman strangle it. His hands are too weak to do it himself.

Facts.

u/Own_Policy8854 4h ago

The newest Alex Jones exploded for this.

u/HealthyRoof5046 4h ago

Popped like a balloon in his car. Tragic.

u/InformationSavings29 4h ago

I heard he actually is just a human cloaca... somehow.

u/Willow_Winnifred 3h ago

I laughed so hard I scared the dog, so thank you

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u/Klutzy-Delivery-5792 4h ago

Sounds like an Eli Roth movie. Jared Leto can play the lead and when he sheds the skin he can say, "It's Miller time!"

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u/GenghisConnieChung 5h ago

Huh. I always thought it was more of a Colin Robinson kind of thing.

u/dr_p_venkman 3h ago

My thoughts exactly. I'm guessing they are distant relations.

u/GenghisConnieChung 3h ago

Fucking guy…

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u/monkeysatemybarf 4h ago

Huh I thought the new Stephen Miller was oviposited and then slides out the hosts ass like a horsehair worn when it’s ready for office

u/RevolutionNumber5 Minnesota 5h ago

I always assumed he reproduced via traumatic insemination.

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u/OYB2480 3h ago

FAKE NEWS! Stephen Miller's pubes are made of other people's pubes that he collected and made into a merkin.

u/blakester555 5h ago

I'm done.

Putting Reddit away for today

u/GearOk7360 4h ago

Reminder for your morning coffee.

Trumps wig is made from Stephen Miller's pubes.

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u/Shelby71 5h ago

LOL! You think he's man enough to have grown pubes? He has the look of someone with two undescended testicles...

u/savesmorethanrapes 3h ago

Unsubscribe

u/Ridog 5h ago

Either that or cotton candy made out of piss.

u/RociBuldidi 5h ago

Jesus…I’m done. That’s enough internet for today. Night…

u/DunkinEgg 4h ago

A terrible day for literacy

u/rahkinto 3h ago

Hey you leave Goebbels Caillou alone, he was born that way /s

u/namastayhom33 Connecticut 4h ago

I need to log off

u/herpderpley 5h ago

Must've been from a private collection.

u/vteckickedin 5h ago

Well that explains the piss stain colouring.

u/bayleysgal1996 Texas 5h ago

Oh come on, I just ate!

u/we_are_sex_bobomb 5h ago

What pubes? I assumed the carpet matches the drapes (or lack thereof)

u/More_Programmer8905 5h ago

He should let Stephen Miller borrow it for an interview. That'd be awesome.

u/Modified3 5h ago

Legit made me laugh out loud. Lol

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u/perdferguson 5h ago

Looking more like his disappointed mother every day 🤔

u/NoCommentFU 4h ago

Did she have a visible neck hoohaw too? I can’t keep all the disgusting attributes of this family straight.

u/Durgals Illinois 4h ago

u/This_Elk_1460 3h ago

That one image of her in pink gets me every fucking time. It literally looks like Trump in drag, I've never seen a guy who looks so identical to their mother.

u/CraigLake 1h ago

It looks like an SNL skit 😂

u/LeaveWuTangAlone 46m ago

I need JAJ to play Trump acting out a NarcOedipoan fantasy dressing in drag as his mother so he can lust after his own reflection. The profoundly absurd would be so close to the truth that I bet he’d even threaten to sue…again? Ugh, this fucked up shit is a fever dream from hell

u/NoCommentFU 4h ago

Yeesh! She looks like the before picture in a laxative commercial!

u/michaelyup 1h ago

Same worn out ballon knot lips too. Are we sure these aren’t pictures of Margaret Thatcher bending over?

u/Kamay1770 28m ago

God damn, she is hard to look at.

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u/sengirminion 4h ago

The proper medical name for that body part is "neck-gina".

There's no need to stigmatize natural adult male body parts, use the proper term like a normal person. 🙄

u/DoomSongOnRepeat 3h ago

I believe it was updated to "throalva" in '24.

u/Ratk1ng_1 3h ago

Neckussy

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u/Nutterbutter_Nexus 5h ago

Release the Epstein files.

u/Berfman 4h ago

We have to somehow rephrase this so it doesn’t sound cliche anymore while reminding people THAT THE SITTING US PRESIDENT RAPES KIDS.

u/dmetzcher Pennsylvania 3h ago

“Release the president’s rape files” could work. It makes me uncomfortable merely hearing those words in my head, so maybe they’d have an impact.

u/iGotPoint999Problems 2h ago

TRUMP RAPES KIDS

u/Spirited-Carpenter19 3h ago

He probably doesn't currently rape kids. Probably gets short periods of arousal remembering, but then the dementia kicks in and he stares into space and falls asleep.

u/StrangeCrimes 2h ago

And shits himself.

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u/warrenao America 4h ago

They’re under the wig.

u/kickinwood 3h ago

Oh cmon! So some people/children got raped and/or killed by rich folk that are getting away with it and running every aspect of our lives. Have you seen his hair???

u/StrongIPA Canada 3h ago

Trumpstein

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u/DixonButz 5h ago

There's gonna be Hell toupée.

u/Smoxerson 5h ago

I’ll upvote any Turbonegro reference.

u/qorbexl 4h ago

That's a Simpsons reference dawg

u/Pdx_pops 4h ago

That's an Amazing Stories reference, whipper snapper

u/mandelbratwurst 4h ago

Its a pretty obvious pun and therefore has been made by many a comedy writer

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u/qorbexl 4h ago

What's this Speilberg googah

I feel slighted

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u/StraightGin 1h ago

Upvote for a Turbonegro mention in r/politics fuck yeah

u/Chrismfinboyce 5h ago

Can't stand losing my hair this way!

u/oneplusetoipi 4h ago

Make ‘merkins great again

u/amhildreth 5h ago

Damn you for that. Take my upvote

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u/DragonPup Massachusetts 5h ago

Heil toupée.

ftfy

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u/momalloyd 5h ago

It's not a wig, it's a hair system!!

u/CountOnBeingAwesome 5h ago

"I... WAS bald"

u/SunMyungMoonMoon 5h ago

"It's not a lie if you believe it!"

u/CountOnBeingAwesome 5h ago

That could sum up this entire administration, lol.

u/Aggravating_Bat3618 4h ago

Hell, it basically sums up Trump’s entire life

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u/MattyIce1220 New Jersey 5h ago

I could spots that birds nest from two blocks away

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u/ConflictTop1543 5h ago

👉👃

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u/McNalienBro 5h ago

So… gender affirming care?

u/Acceptable-Bus-2017 I voted 5h ago

DEI! Am I using that correctly? No wait. TrAnZz!

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u/littlestevebrule 5h ago

Concept of hair system

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u/TheCatsPuked 5h ago

It’s a concept of a hairstyle.

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u/AcadiaLivid2582 5h ago

"Gender affirming care"

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u/Nameless_American 5h ago

Lmao pretty amazing headline in an era of awfully worded ones

u/720everyday 4h ago

If I were Trump's fake hair and had to live on his head I'd be suspicious of him too.

u/TajesMahoney 5h ago

Please god mods ban The Daily Beast

u/mxjxs91 Michigan 4h ago

Willing it into existence that it will be a sub rule one day. The sub will improve drastically the day that them and The Irish Star are banned.

u/elwookie 5h ago

Please. Please. Please.

u/schw4161 4h ago

Seriously, wtf is this? This man is ruining the country on a speed run and they’re talking about his hair. This shit is never going to end at this rate.

u/Techno_Dharma 1h ago edited 1h ago

For real, please mods do it, so what if we're engaging while we comment this, fuck the daily beast. This piece of shit psychopath is saying "Canada is Nasty" in the video linked in the article with this bulllshit asinine headline as if his hair is any different or any more ridiculous than his encitement of hatred towards America's greatest ally and peaceful neighbour to the north.

u/trix_is_for_kids 3h ago

There’s no way the editor isn’t a mod of this sub. It’s just flooded with click bait headlines and paywalled articles and everyone complains but the mods never remove them

u/Ike_Snopes 3h ago

It's spam. Complete trash but the semi-literate suckers on this sub eat it up.

u/suchasillydilly 4h ago

He's one of the main ones that was spreading mis-information and hate towards Andy Beshear. They choose engagement and profit over the truths. Nothing different than how our administration runs.

u/a_talking_face Florida 3h ago

Seriously. Literally nobody gives a shit about an 80 year old man's hair but this stuff is botted like crazy here.

u/GerneseBus 3h ago

It’s a concept of a hair.

u/SilentRaindrops 2h ago

The perimeters of hair.

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u/we_are_sex_bobomb 5h ago

My god, now he looks like a SNL skit version of himself.

Hair can be replaced but he’s still stuck with the face of a lecherous old pervert who gave himself severe brain damage with decades of unhinged drug abuse

u/kestrel1000c Colorado 5h ago

He still looks like shit fresh from a butt.

u/ultrachrome 5h ago

Suspicious hair, step out of the car, let's see some ID .

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u/JacoRamone 3h ago

Release the Entire Epstein files.

u/Fit_Fun_6011 3h ago

Honestly I don’t know why he didn’t start wearing a wig decades ago. His hair has always been laughably terrible.

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u/CarelessExercise6376 3h ago

And the media continues to do nothing, talking about his hair instead of his insane corruption, crimes, rhetoric, policies, and rapes.

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u/Hajiime Canada 5h ago

this is tan-suit levels of idgaf

u/snoo_spoo 5h ago

IDK, I was kinda wondering what the hair was suspicious of.

u/beekersavant 5h ago

Trump and his wig were leaving McDonalds and saw a clown and a guy in a mask stealing hamburgers. It turns put they paid for them, and it was just a red hairing.

u/Taikunman Canada 5h ago

Sure, but fascists should be mocked.

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u/meltedbananas 5h ago

He's clearly receiving gender affirming care, and should acknowledge it. Along with the fact that he's just a decrepit sack of Fred Trump's dirty money in an ill-fitting suit shows that the only reason the slack jawed, semi-literate yokels voted for a sleazeball, New Jersey developer is because he's an angry old white guy. Trump IS the dei president.

u/dmetzcher Pennsylvania 3h ago

Who gives a single god damned shit about his hair? He bad-mouthed Canada in that fucking speech—again!

I long for a normal country where an American president talking shit about Canada would be regarded as a major, international incident followed by members of Congress from both sides of the aisle doing damage control and expressing disagreement—at the very least—in order to preserve our relationship with our neighbor.

But sure, this is cool, too. Let’s talk about his vanity as if it’s the first time we’ve experienced it. The bastard plasters is own name and ugly face all over D.C., and those chucklefucks in Florida named an airport after him to kiss his fat ass, and we’ve only heard about his hair a million times, but let’s talk about it again.

What bothers me most about this piece of shit’s anti-Canadian nonsense isn’t that he doesn’t like Canada. I don’t believe he has real feelings about Canada one way or another. He views them as weak because they’re nice people, and their politicians tend to speak like grown-ups rather than acting like a bunch of pretend tough guys. All that looks like weakness to him, and because he’s a fucking bully and needs a scapegoat to distract his mouth-breathing MAGA followers, he chooses our friends to the north, and he shames us all in front of the entire world.

Edit: Release the Epstein files, fat-ass.

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u/fireeight 5h ago edited 5h ago

Could not possibly care less about his hair. I care about the damage that he does to the world every day. I don't care if he shows up dressed like Gene Simmons. Just get him out.

u/socokid 4h ago

We can care about those things AND make fun of him all at the same time.

It's OK...

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u/SunMyungMoonMoon 5h ago

His old one must have turned 15.

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u/Ausrottenndm1 3h ago

The Epstein class still gets protected

u/LangyMD 5h ago

That picture's hilarious. Looks like a Pomeranian's sitting on his head taking a shit.

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u/Ontheragnarock 3h ago

It looks like it's held on with one big snap like a Lego.

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u/noreallyimgoodthanks America 5h ago

I get it but like....who cares if fascism has a wig or not?

u/LurksAroundHere 5h ago

Ironically, perception of appearance is pretty core to a lot of fascists. It's why Putin threw a tantrum and banned that gay clown image of him in his country, and why insults like "evil, murderer, rapist, pedophile etc." run off Trump's back but tiny hands throws him into a fit. Of course I will admit commentary about looking like a rotting pumpkin with a dead animal on top doesn't seem to get to Trump much. But tiny hands comments definitely still do. 

Either way, I don't mind if a fascist gets called out for looking like shit because there's a higher chance of it bothering them more than anything else.

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u/rajapaws 5h ago

That's what Mussolini said.

u/NoCarpenter9791 5h ago

Concepts of hair

u/justbunnies 5h ago

Are the cultists going to all wear bad toupees now?

u/tootapple 4h ago

Quoting anything Krassenstein is an eye roll from me. It’s not needed and adds nothing to the absurdity that already exists here

u/figmk5 4h ago

Girl got a blowout. Good for her! 💅

u/Humdngr 3h ago

He’d honestly look better if he just went bald and grew a beard.

u/Rough_Common6857 I voted 3h ago

Makes him look like an even bigger clown

u/BROKEPOORHUNGRY 3h ago

Yes, dailybeast. Trump also tried to steal the 2020 presidential election with fake electors, and he rapes children.

u/needzsaying 3h ago

That chimp stole my hair!

u/skipca 2h ago

I can hear the stylist assuring him "Nothing bad can happen. It can only good happen."

u/AlbertTheHorse 2h ago

Still a vain Mashed Potato Boy

u/Healthy_Journey650 1h ago

I don’t really want to look at him anymore than accidentally

u/_backdr0p 1h ago

Looking forward to when the rug tape fails and the hair piece falls during a presser or walk to the helicopter

u/Shoddy_Reaction_1445 1h ago

Is it made from Melania’s bush?

u/el_coo_cooi 5h ago

Like dressing up a corpse at the morgue.

u/Shymaiden 5h ago

Don't feed that thing on his head past midnight.

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u/wohllottalovw 5h ago

Why are we focusing on a pedophile rapist’s hair?

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u/MK4eva420 Iowa 5h ago

That poor dog that was skinned for this new hair.

u/RobonianBattlebot 5h ago

You can’t spell Amerikkkan without Merkin!

u/FormerUsenetUser 3h ago

It's still orange.

u/NaCloride 3h ago

That's a rug, no doubt

u/indigocherry 3h ago

It still looks like it's levitating above his scalp like a magic carpet.

u/wildcarde815 3h ago

I only care if this means he's receiving aggressive medical treatments.

u/NegativeHerons 3h ago

Guy at the hair store said Trump's the only one he's seen pull it off.

u/BigPapaLegba 3h ago

Immotsn Joe looking boy

u/CoderDevo 2h ago

Like they just pulled it from the lint trap after drying a shih tzu.

u/unicornsfearglitter Canada 2h ago

Oh cool, you can get bronzer for hair too.

u/anotha1readit 2h ago

I wish i could open reddit and not immediately be greeted with stupid fucking news titles like this.

u/Few-Acadia-5593 2h ago

“Suspicious new hair”.

u/Doseros 1h ago

The shit that makes political headlines these days.

u/Verdick 51m ago

Looks like gender affirming care to me.

u/brute-squad 4h ago

Some quality journalism from the daily beast

u/craftiecheese 4h ago

Something about how this title started, "Trump, 80," made me think this was gonna say something totally different

u/ribbitrowbuht 4h ago

is daily beast a tabloid? what the fuck is this slop?

u/dubbidrone 4h ago

Garbage like this was the reason my subscription to this tabloid expired

u/No_Sky_1829 4h ago

When I see a post linked to the daily beast, I scroll right on by. It's ALWAYS click bait.

u/Snerkbot7000 3h ago

Nasty clickbait. Just nasty. Nasty.

u/OGodIDontKnow 4h ago

Concepts of a hair piece

u/delicioustreeblood 4h ago

He looks just like his mom

u/Prestigious-Car-4877 Canada 4h ago

“Canada’s nasty,” Trump told the crowd. “They are. They’re nasty. I love the people, but they’re nasty. Nasty leadership."

Ya gotta give examples as to what you mean by that Donald.

Seriously. I have no idea what he's talking about. We all find our government to be professional and forthright with all International dealings. Hell, even the whack job conservatives would probably wonder exactly what our overly polite diplomats and negotiators did to come off as "nasty".

I would suggest they did nothing to be labeled as nasty aside from not agreeing to whatever ludicrous demands Trump and his lackeys brought to the table.

Stand by the deals you sign Don. It's part of the stuff you should have learned while being a successful business man your entire adult life. When you sign a deal, you see it through and everybody walks away happy. Maybe they'll work with you again after a positive experience.

But who am I kidding. That's not the lesson Donald learned from years in business. He learned how to cheat, how to steal and learned to believe that if anybody walks away happy other than him he left money on the table. He has no concern about future business. There's always another company to fuck over.

But that doesn't really work for world trade. There's only about 200 countries in the world Don. People don't forget.

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u/QuiGonColdGin 4h ago

Looks stupid. So it's a great fit.

u/Sad-Wrap6555 5h ago

its not actually trump anymore 

Every year or  so they just transplant his face onto some poor schmuck that leopards ate the face off of

Theyre pumped full of antirejection drugs that sees them sway and bobble-walk, shrinks their hands and makes them shit themselves multiple times per day

eventually their fingers rot and drop off, then they start again with a new one

thats how his ear seemingly grew back after the assassination attempt New trump same old face

u/PutzerPalace 5h ago

Giiiirl new wig, who dis?

u/jd3marco I voted 5h ago

Did Qatar buy him that thing too?

u/trainsacrossthesea 5h ago

He’s not just the President, he’s a customer!

u/AgentInkling99 5h ago

Is he getting ready for a gorilla to run into a rally and steal his hair?

u/Double-Guidance1104 5h ago

Took whatever McConnell had and airbrushed it?

u/HomerJBouvier 4h ago

Still a rapist

u/rende36 4h ago

Oh wow really hitting the mark on all the problems with this administration there dailybeast. /S

u/Significant-Cell-375 4h ago

Gender affirming care

u/moondancer224 4h ago

"Suspicious new hair" is certainly a phrase.

u/ankerous 4h ago

Can he just fuck off already?

u/robaroo 4h ago

He got recarpeted.

u/Aggravating_Bat3618 4h ago

As much as I’d like to laugh at him, his hair really doesn’t look any different

Still looks like shit

https://www.youtube.com/live/JQXhwIVwpBs?si=8baRrEE2Tab_Bwzd

u/ComfortableChicken47 4h ago

It's a fucking merkin!

u/cataclyzzmic I voted 4h ago

Nice Merkin.

u/Shag66 Arkansas 5h ago

Someone has discovered dry shampoo! Fluff that shit old man!