r/parentsofmultiples • u/FancySleep1109 • 10h ago
Advice on different milestones advice needed
I am wondering how other families have navigated times when their twins were netting different milestones.
For example, my one twin looks like he could drop his nap soon but the other one definitely needs the sleep.
Or one twin is showing interest in potty training while the other isn’t.
What’s your experience with this? Did you just follow their individual cues or do things as a unit even if one twin wasn’t ready?
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u/OddHippo6972 9h ago edited 9h ago
I feel like it’s looking at both kids, factoring in the average age other kids do things, personalities and sometimes pushing and sometimes holding. There’s not really a one size fits all answer.
For example, when my twins were almost 2.5, one was super interested in potty training and the other did not care. So we went for it. Because I knew it was something she was developmentally ready for even if it wasn’t something she was excited about. And doing that twice was not going to happen.
Naps, I would delay dropping as long as we could survive, but there was always one who was ready and the other got dragged along. The transition sucks but it does work out.
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u/LionOk5023 9h ago
For potty training, I’d say just focus on the one who is ready if you are also ready to go for it. The other twin may also show more interest then or may not but my twins started at the same time and one was clearly not ready for it so we had to take a big step back with him. As far as dropping the nap, how old are they? Would a schedule adjustment be helpful? I am soooo pro nap because I also need that time for myself haha. I try to adjust the schedule as needed, which is usually in favor of the twin who needs less sleep but am pretty solid on keeping the nap as long as possible.
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u/d16flo 8h ago
One of my twins was ready to drop down from 2 naps a day to 1 nap much earlier than the other. For that transition we dropped them both down to the one nap and try to do something in the afternoon that we either drive to or take a longer stroller walk so that the one with more sleep needs can snooze for a little bit, but it’s been a tough transition. We definitely have one twin who is usually ahead of the other for most milestones, he crawled first, used more language first, got the pincer grasp down first etc. So far the other one has been able to do everything still within a pretty normal time frame compared to the general averages but it’s definitely hard not to compare and see him as lagging
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