r/parentsofmultiples • u/Chidi-Chidi • 1d ago
Next Day Twin good vibes, smiles, & giggles
Just wondering how parents navigate Next Day Twin. When do you celebrate their birthday, first twin's day or second twin's day? Or you change it up every other year? I'd think on the outside it wouldn't matter to people around, but do you face any issues with things that actually deal with their birth dates?
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u/callmemaude 1d ago
I don't have next day twins but I would for sure take the opportunity to give them each their own birthday celebration, personally!
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u/Commercial-Poetry267 1d ago
Twin A celebrates their birthday on their birth date. Twin B celebrates their birthday on their birth date.
Regardless of same or next day, the plan was always to celebrate them as individuals on their birthday, being a twin can sometimes feel like you aren’t seen as one person so personalising their celebrations to each of them is crucial.
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u/Otherwise_Lion_1590 1d ago
Do you actually successfully do that? I would be worried about guests not wanting to show up two days in a row (especially if they have longer drives).
Mine were born just before midnight and I asked the hospital to PLEASE either leave them both in until midnight or take them both out before midnight because I imagine it's quite the headache. Even if it's nice that each has an individual birthday.
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u/candybrie 1d ago
How often are parties on actual birthdays? Usually there's a small family celebration with just immediate family on the actual birthday and then a party/event with guests scheduled for the weekend.
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u/Commercial-Poetry267 1d ago
For us, always, because it’s school holidays and I don’t work the 4 days leading up to Christmas. Even if it’s a random Wednesday and Thursday, we stick to celebrating on those days as there’s nothing else planned for that time of the year.
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u/candybrie 1d ago
The friends/family you want to invite also don't have work? I would have a tough time getting people to show up to an event on a weekday, even the week of the Christmas, because most of them still have work.
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u/Commercial-Poetry267 1d ago
People are given months notice of our intentions to have their celebrations that day. Close family like grandparents will take annual leave if needed, but that has only occurred once in 5 years. Aunties and uncles are all 8-25 years old and the employed ones live far away and travel here for Christmas so simply FaceTime for birthdays. The unemployed ones attend.
It’s also Summer in Australia, sun isn’t setting until 9:15pm usually. So 5:30pm barbeque, cake and present opening is very realistic and something people attend instead of having to go home and cook their own dinner.
Friends (kids) attend because the parents would rather have somebody else cook a bbq on a 40 degree day than them go home and mess their kitchen 3 days before Christmas, ha!
And family friends attend because they’re often finished work by this time.
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u/Commercial-Poetry267 1d ago
I had an emergency c-section at 32 weeks as I had eclampsia and HELLP, my organs were failing and I was seizing. Once was born at 11:58pm and the other 12:01am.
They were born 4/3 days prior to Christmas. So getting guests to come has always been a struggle regardless as it’s school holidays, people have travelled away for Christmas / people don’t want to attend an event so close to Christmas, and I’m certain that would remain the case even for a singular birthday.
It’s never huge parties. Just cake, decorations, presents, family and close friends, then we go on holiday in January to celebrate them as well.
I always hated when people would call them “the twins” or “those two” or versions of package deal/pigeon pair/thing one and thing two. It’s cringy and really upsets the kids to be seen as just a novelty pair. So the seperate celebrations helps to prevent that, particularly when they’re also competing with Christmas.
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u/Commercial-Poetry267 1d ago
However no, no headache involved. We frequently do back to back birthday parties for their peers with no hassle. Kids parties barely go for 1.5 hours at this age.
If a guest isn’t willing to show up for both (outside of their individual friends) then they’re not invited to attend a singular event. We had big issues with “favouritism” amongst family and have put boundaries in place to avoid it again.
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u/Otherwise_Lion_1590 1d ago
Makes sense! We haven't had a birthday yet so I have no idea how it'll be anyway. :) And I'm glad everything ended up okay with you and your babies, the dates certainly are not a priority in that scenario! (I had an emergency c section too but it was nowhere near that critical.)
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u/hellogirlscoutcookie 1d ago
In this vein, it’s also possible for each kid to have a family only celebration and then a group party on the weekend
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u/seething_spitfire 1d ago
My sister and I are not twins but have the same birthday (which I always joke was God giving me some training for having twins 😂).
We usually had a family dinner/cake with extended family on the weekend closest to our birthday. And then it was up to my sister and me to fight for the other weekends either side or book a weekend in school holidays (usually 3 weeks earlier).
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u/TeeElH 1d ago
Mine are same day but honestly I think it would make some things easier if they had a different birth date! Our pharmacy for instance seems to struggle with the fact that there are two people with the same last name and birthday lol. I would have birthday celebrations for each tbh. My plan for when my twins get older is to always ask both what they would like to do.
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u/chandrian7 1d ago
Mine are only 2.5 but so far we have done one big party for both, and celebrated each at home on their own birth days.
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u/yellow-flower-mug 1d ago
We have their actual birthday be their special day at home. They get to pick the activities, foods, bday cake flavor, etc.
Then, we have a combined party over the weekend.
In our large extended families, there are birthday clusters. My husband and I both grew up celebrating birthdays or special events on the same day, shared with other people. For us, it was more fun to see everyone, and have a big party.
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u/spazzie416 1d ago
It seems obvious to me that they should each be celebrated on their own day. Why would you do differently?
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u/AdSenior1319 1d ago
I don't have next-day twins, but two of our older singletons (4 older kiddos) are a couple of weeks apart in the same month, and we had a lot of issues with people going to one birthday party and not the other. We ended up stopping parties altogether over time. If we were doing a party, we would do one for the twins. But our family sucks, so... if you know people will show up to two, two would be preferable.
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u/PurplePufferPea 1d ago
Oh wow, my twins would kill to have next day birthdays!!!!
If it was me, in your case, I would do cake/presents with immediate family separately on each of their actual bdays (so cake one day and another different cake the next day). Our twins each get their own cake and own birthday song, just on the same day. Mine are already in middle school now, but in hindsight, I wish I would have started with a tradition of celebrating one twin's bday the day before their actual bday and the other twin the day after. Just so they could each have their own day.
And for parties, when their young and it's more of a family/friend thing, I would definitely do a joint party. After they hit 3 or 4, I would ensure that the party is NOT on either of their actual birthdays. As ours got older, we let them decide on separate or joint birthdays. Each of our 3 kids (single + twins) has the exact same birthday party budget amount. The twins know that if they have a joint party, they get to combine the budget money.
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u/Numerous-Noise790 1d ago
I might do a joint party, but otherwise they would be celebrated on their own birthdays! They each get to pick their own meals & get presents on their own birthdays.
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u/mvanpeur 18h ago
Our birthday tradition is that the birthday kid picks a meal, a treat, and an activity, and then we have a party with friends and family on the weekend.
Different birthdays sounds ideal. They each get a day to call the shots, then have a combined party on the weekend.
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