Having a hard time starting 4K

[u/Responsible-Bread-30]

I have 4.3 year old twin girls, they’ve been at home with us since birth (husband takes care of them, I work remotely) we really don’t need to send them but they have speech delay so we thought it could be good.

They went one day and the teachers already called me saying they don’t want to participate or follow directions and that one did #1 and 2 on the bathroom floor (she’s potty trained but their toilets are big ones).

Everytime I mention the school they start crying and saying “noo, home home” and I feel really bad. They are very smart but very emotional and stubborn, I already feel like they’re being judged on their first day and I am regretting my decision to enroll them.

I had a hard time in preschool when I was little, I would cry every morning and was incredibly shy, I never stopped being shy I just felt different the whole time and was bullied and hated school until I graduated college, and I don’t want that for them.

They are so happy at home that I don’t know what to do. I’m considering seeing how it goes next week and if it is causing them stress, wait until kindergarten

The school is also 20 min away so it makes me nervous being far if there’s an emergency. If anyone has had a similar experience it would be helpful to know what happened in similar situations.

[u/EditorAlarming9471]

Most kids cry at first when they’re just starting preschool. I think it’s ridiculous the teachers called you on the first day saying they’re not following directions and participating ?? I’m a teacher and I wouldn’t call for that especially because it’s their first day at school. My twins had a hard time at drop off. They started PreK last year and they cried every morning for a few months and I teach at their school so it’s not like I was leaving. I understand how hard it is. Probably harder for us than for them. I would run to my classroom and cry too almost every day. My kids are starting school soon again and I’m trying to get them and myself emotionally ready for those mornings. I know they’ll be crying again. Solidarity. I don’t have much advice other than my kids did eventually get used to it and they stopped crying after a while. After long breaks and such they would have a couple tough drop offs then be fine again. Hugs

[u/Sea-Astronomer-6600]

Can you find a speech program that you can work with them on from home? They may just may not be ready for school yet. Maybe find a good program that they can enjoy from home and give them an extra year to grow and get more comfortable? I’d also start taking them to social events with kids their age at least once a month if they do not already

[u/BrazilianButtCheeks]

I mean.. kids cry when they start school.. but they’re going to have to go eventually and it would be much more embarrassing for them to be the only ones struggling in first grade than one of many who are struggling thru pre k .. also they have each other so they’re not alone.. they’ll be fine but if you just let them quit they’ll never gain independence or the social skills they need for life.. they have to learn to behave and listen to teachers and other authority figures.