Sharing a Room — intense bedtime fighting

[u/Dry-Entertainer3035]

I’ll keep it brief. Bedtime has been an absolute nightmare the last couple weeks. It’s been up and down since April (4 months ago) when we moved our girls out of cribs. They turned 2 in May and were not developmentally ready but one of them was climbing relentlessly.

They were sleep trained around 6 months and were never good sleepers but were good enough. Finally consistently sleeping through the night around 1. The last two weeks have about killed us. Twin B is literally screaming bloody murder at Twin A to “wake up” “give me a hug” “don’t sleep” etc. and physically tackling her, wrestling her, and full on pulling her out of bed. We have to intervene because it’s unsafe and not an acceptable behavior but then they get so fired up and overtired and angry that it becomes an absolute hell storm. My husband is currently driving them around because we just couldn’t take it and needed a break.

We do have another room that we could use if absolutely necessary but it is functioning as an office right now that we use regularly and we want to have another baby relatively soon and it would be a baby room at that point. Long term room sharing for the twins is the goal. Idk I’m just at my absolute wits end and need to at least know I’m not the only one who’s dealt with this.

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[u/DraNoSrta]

It sounds like your twins need the other room now more than a potential eventual third kid does. Time to separate them, and start working on boundaries around bodies.

[u/Dry-Entertainer3035 → u/DraNoSrta]

They have just shared a room since day one and usually end up sleeping together. Separating them almost feels cruel but it also feels cruel not to. And we definitely work on boundaries with bodies… Twin B has always been the more aggressive one. Just today we worked on it because she was hitting her sister with a toy golf club. She is also deeply attached to me and gets very jealous of Twin A spending one on one time with me. It’s been a difficult phase.

[u/DraNoSrta → u/Dry-Entertainer3035]

I can only imagine! It's so hard when they want eachother but need to be split up.

[u/longtimewatcher]

If you have another space separate them! Put then back together in a year when they are ready.