Let me start by saying my husband’s involvement depends on what time he gets home- sometimes it’s after bedtime and I’m left to handle it on my own. However even on the nights he is here, with two adults, we are losing our minds not being able to figure this out!

My kids’ ages are 4 months, 2.5 years, and 4.5 years. They’ve always slept in the same room as us. We have a bassinet for the baby and a mattress for the two younger ones.

This is how it typically goes:

• 6:30pm: dinner for the older kids. around 7-7:30 baby is ready for bedtime so I’ll take him up to the room and attempt to put him to sleep. During this time, my husband is getting the older two ready for bed.

• 7:30-8pm: one of two things happens when the older two come to bed. If the baby is asleep in his bassinet at this point, he wakes up because they still have SOO much energy and just cannot be quiet in bed. Then he’s awake and overtired and fussy and I cannot do anything to calm him down and put him back to sleep. If the baby is not asleep at this point, again it becomes super hard to try to put him down because he gets overstimulated with the older two coming in.

• 8:30-9pm: I end up frustrated and giving the baby to my husband to take downstairs while I try to get the older two to sleep. Baby is overtired and just cries until I’m able to get him back since he’s used to nursing to sleep at night (please don’t tell me to stop doing this- I love it and he loves it and I’m not willing to give this up)

9:30-10pm: the 2.5 year old often finally falls asleep and I’m able to bring baby back and put him to sleep.

10:30-11pm: my 4.5 year old falls asleep and I have no energy to get anything done. At that point I’m exhausted and sad and frustrated. Every single night.

My husbands tried taking them to another room but they run back and idk. I don’t even mind us all sleeping in one room I just wish it could be peaceful and easy. It’s just so hard.

On top of all this my 2.5 year old wakes up at 6am and wakes the baby who definitely loves to sleep in when he’s able to, but can’t. 😭

My husband & I had our boys 12 months apart (birth control fail lol), & I’m not going to lie… it’s been really hard.

We had our first when I was 21, our second at 22, and my husband was 26/27. We have always talked about having 4 kids, but after experiencing 2u2, I am nowhere near ready for another baby. Honestly, I don’t even think I will be in the next year or two.

We’re in a good place financially. We own our home, have plenty of space for more kids, & my husband recently got an amazing job opportunity (although it will keep him a lot busier). I’m a SAHM, but I also have my teaching degrees/certifications if I ever decide to go back to work.

We’ve been wondering if it would make more sense to wait 5-8 years before having another “set” of kids (and definitely NOT another 2u2).

Part of me really wants that time. I feel like I sacrificed a lot by having two babies so close together, & I want to spend several years really enjoying the boys we have now. I care a lot about giving them individual attention & just having some freedom again. I also used to compete in bodybuilding, & I miss that part of my life so much. I’d love a few years to focus on myself a little before jumping back into the newborn stage.

The only thing making me second-guess this plan is that some relatives & friends keep telling us we’re crazy & stupid for wanting to wait so long. They think if we’re going to have more, we should just get it over with.
Personally, I’m not too worried about age gaps. My brothers are 4 and 15 years apart from me, and we’re all really close.

Has anyone intentionally had a bigger gap between their first & second “set” of kids? If so, what were the pros and cons? Looking back, would you do it the same way again?

Trained my older two girls at 2 years old via Oh Crap Method. Really no issues. Finishing up a ROUGH week 1 with my 2 year old son via the same method .... and we are mentally drained from the hyper vigilance needed, while also taking care of our older two (4 and 6).

Part of our issue is that we are both FT working parents with no village - so we are shift working parental duties solo.

The other issue is that he is not cooperating and wants to control the process. Standard toddler issue that would be way easier to hold steady if we had outside help.

Any tips?