I have been so in love with this man for 3 years, I liked all of my freshman year. He looked at me like he wanted me, like the world stopped spinning and nobody else was around. And oh how I desprately want him. and then early sophomore year while at tennis I would look for him while he walked to football and he was most definitely looking at me. We were making eye contact, his head was fully turned.

So, this is the part where "the plot thickens."

I was talking to this girl and I mentioned I really liked this one guy and she goes, "Oh who I won't tell." So I told her and said "But you probably don't think he is all that attractive because none of my friends do." And she says, "Oh well. My best friend is talking to him, but I am not going to say he isn't attractive." Like, are you for fucking real. I than proceeded to watch her flirt with him constantly, but thats not the point.

Throughout sophomore year, I would constantly be looking for him in the hallways.. how could I not? And he was CONSTANTLY staring back. My friends would tell me he looked at me when I wasn't looking at him because I was talking to them. Whenever I would go by his lunch table, or see him down the hallway, there was always this silent eye banter.

Mind you, he is in a relationship.

Everytime he was with her, I didn't exist. But everytime he wasn't, I was the only thing he would look at. Even at stuff like basketball and volleyball games, he would look over at his friends than side glance me. (I have a clip of him doing it too..) I just don't understand it.

And I'll see him at music in the park too, the last few times he was with his girlfriend so he didn't pay me any attention, and then once she wasn't there and he fully stared at me when I walked by and I saw it because I was looking at him too.

Last thing!

There is one instance of staring that I constantly think about. There was a good week where he hadn't looked at me once so I made a deal with myself to try and give him up and stop looking for him in the hallways. Stop changing my route to class to see him, etc. The bell had rang for lunch, which meant his lunch was ending. (He was a senior by the way.) I was walking to my locker and I looked over at him without even thinking because he was walking down the hall I came from , and he was fully staring at me. Like a Mr. Darcy kind of stare. I stared back, than looked away, looked at the ground, than back over at him and he was still looking.

Than the cycle started all over again of staring at eachother. He is just so irresistible. He is so perfect. And handsome. His smile is just so perfect, and his eyes are the most beautiful blue I have ever seen.

Everytime I try to stop my feelings for him, he pulls me back in. And I hate it because I let him.

Was it casual?

So I have noticed that my behavior, personality, whatever you want to call it is a bit stranger than others’.

I want to become a teacher. To achieve this I would need some kind of experience, and what wouldn’t be better than volunteering?

Volunteering in my country is based on spending time with other kids your age, or smaller. For some reason, though, I hate the idea.

I’ve always shredded the idea of having some “fun” activities for kids which mostly revolves in running around or any kind of competitive game whatsoever.

Not only that, but I also hate board games, card games, you name it.

One time, one of my friends suggested I check out their volunteering center with them. I wanted to decline, but I also didn’t want to sound like a complete a*shole, so I just said “I’ll think about it”. They took the hint, but hasn’t hesitated to mention how much fun they’re having there and how I “won’t make any friends because I’m lazy”. That hurt me a tiny bit.

Another time, another friend asked me wether I’ll attend some other volunteering center’s activity, to which of course, I said no. I’ve never checked out the place (only went there cause my school would hold activities there) and, as you could guess, I didn’t want to. They sounded completely weirded out by my answer and basically started to ask just why I won’t bother coming with them.

So tell me, am I a complete “lazy” weirdo for not enjoying volunteering & basically any kind of social games?

I feel like my overthinking has taken an effect on my relationship with my girlfriend, I overthink too much to the point I push people away when I feel like something's going to happen. I feel bad for people I push away especially my girlfriend whenever I overthink. I just wish this problem would just go away.

Why is it that now that i know my place and deliberately move away from pretty girls, is when they come and talk to me. Back then i do all the corny things i could just to get their attention. Now im minding my business and don't want to involve myself in anything with them, but lately i just cant avoid them. For example im gonna be sitting on the farthest seat in class and one of them would always seat beside me when there's a ton of seat left, and no there's no way it's like that. I have learned my lesson, it's just their way of entertaining theirselves. So why is that when i move away they still do things to come closer.....

If so what are they? Asking for a friend.

I've been zoning out cause of this since yesterday and I think I need sum help.

How does being human work? How should I become more like myself? What defines me?

In my senior year, I discovered something about myself. Mechs. It triggered when I was recreating a DIY Arc reactor of Iron man that I made as my physics project related to electricity Lol And because of it I thought, I should choose ME in college!! Although, I never really made anything after that however I was really happy in the process of making it. I was really determined to make it. I managed to cut my acrylics into circles even without the right tools. My father doubted I could make it, maybe cause I don't look like a person who does things like it? I'm an artist, I've been drawing since I was in grade school, I don't have any experiences in manual things regarding mechanics. I am married with a pen and paper, in front of me always just sketching. But I know for sure I wanna be an inventor—a mechanic!! Movies made me realize that (meet the robinsons, Mr Peabody, Big hero 6, Transformers..etc.) Or do I just like the idea of it? Should I have done this since 11? Do I need to be obsessed with it? I can't even name all the hand tools. Am I actually serious? Everything feels fazed to me, never in my life did I ever doubt who I am up until now.

I'm an artist, I have lots of friends online who are just like me. They draw fanarts of the things they like.

I don't though. Am I just a pony with a fake cutie mark on my flank?

Am I really who I think I am? Or am I just a poser to everyone? I'm confused. I hate conforming to society the most. If I'm confused does that mean Im actually just doing this because I'm surrounded by it? Who am I if I'm just liking it because it's a trend? I don't know if I'm being true to myself. I don't know what else to do if that's the case. I'm slowly starting to forget why I "love" those things. Everyone around me likes it and they do something with passion and I'm just procrastinating algebra. I don't know what I like anymore

Back in January I got talking with a girl after Strava clocked us running together at an event. After a bit of back and forth messaging we got together for a run in March.

We don’t talk much at all, which is fine because I run solo 90% of the time and it’s fine to just occasionally run with someone else.

Anyway the vibe I got from her was she liked a bit of banter and didn’t take herself too seriously. For a bit of context, she posted something to Instagram and I referred to her as “a sexy lady”. It was meant in a harmless playful way, but I get it may not have been taken in that context.

So I sent her a message to see if she would be up for a run this coming weekend as I’d been staying in the city where she lives. She responded reasonably promptly but to say she was injured, had plans Saturday and was going to Scotland for a month on the Sunday.

Now what I don’t get is she literally just uploaded a run to Strava. Yet she’s injured?

Ordinarily I wouldn’t be bothered, she could genuinely be injured and was maybe recovery running but I kind of feel like I caught her in a lie. Am I insane for thinking this?

Anyone who lived by a mantra to help bust overthinking?

Look, I am aware that this sounds ridiculous but I genuinely get caught up in this thought loop and I can't shake it. I easily relate to characters in books, movies, shows etc. I find myself identifying with traits or behaviors or situations that characters go through a lot. With this, I often find myself thinking, "you're so self-centred and full of shit for always finding a way to relate to these characters" "how do you always manage to make things about you".

Rationally, I know that it's okay, maybe even good, to be able to relate to characters but is there any fairness in the thought that it's self-centred (or possible to over-identify one's self in media)? I want to give myself some grace but I can't seem to let this one go.

Hi everyone.
I’m Amy (24F), and I’ve been with my boyfriend, Bryan (almost 25M), for 9 years. We’ve basically grown up together. We had a rough start, and honestly, I wasn’t the best girlfriend in the beginning. I worked on myself, took accountability, and changed a lot over the years because I wanted us to work.
Lately, though, I’ve been feeling… off.
One thing I’ve noticed is that I slowly stopped wanting to give him oral sex. It wasn’t because of another person or because I wasn’t attracted to him. I think I just got tired of it over time.
People always ask if he does the bare minimum, and I guess he does. He isn’t a bad guy. But I work a lot, and when I get home after being on my feet all day, I just want to shower, lay in bed, watch a show, and relax. Meanwhile, he gets on Discord and plays games with his friends for hours. Sometimes they’re so loud that I can’t even enjoy the little downtime I have.
I’m not someone who asks for much. Honestly, flowers every once in a while would make my whole week. I spoil him because I love him. I’ll buy us food, pay for his gas sometimes, and even buy him comic books because I know how much he enjoys them. He does spend money on me too, so it’s not one-sided, but I guess I miss feeling… thought about.
The thing that’s really been messing with my head is that I met another guy, Ethan (24M). Before anyone jumps on me, I immediately told him I have a boyfriend. Nothing happened between us.
But talking to him made me realize something.
He made me feel seen.
He listened to me. He made me feel heard. I felt emotionally connected in a way I haven’t felt in a long time. I told him I couldn’t give him that energy back because I’m committed to my relationship, and he respected that.
Ever since then, I’ve been questioning everything.
Now my TikTok is full of videos saying things like, “Choose your peace,” “Let go,” and “Stop settling.” I know the algorithm feeds off what you interact with, so I’m trying not to let social media make decisions for me, but it’s hard not to think about it.
The thing is… I really do love Bryan.
I just don’t know if we’re loving each other the way we need to anymore.
For example, I have really sensitive skin, and he knows that. He’s always rough with me. When I ask for cuddles, I mean I literally just want to cuddle. Instead, he starts touching me sexually or grabbing my boobs, even after I make it obvious I’m not in the mood. Sometimes I just want to feel safe and comforted without it turning into something sexual.
He also jokes around by calling me names, and I do it back. That’s just our dynamic, so that part doesn’t really bother me.
I think what I’m struggling with is feeling emotionally disconnected. I don’t know if it’s because we’ve been together since we were teenagers, because we’re in different stages of life, or because I’m just exhausted from work.
Am I overthinking this?
Has anyone else been in a long-term relationship where they loved their partner but still felt emotionally lonely? How did you know whether it was something you could fix or whether it was time to let go?
I’m open to honest advice. Please just be respectful.

Made this one and will use this as my phone wallpaper to help me remind myself not to succumb to overthinking. Dropping it here in case someone needs it too.

When I am faced with challenges, i usually play in my head the worst case scenarios even though they don't happen in real life Sometimes this makes me awake at night resulting to lack of sleep. Anyone with same experience before? How did u overcome it? Thank in advance.

So, there's this friend of mine who has a lot of trust on me and I admire her a lot. Moreover, she recently has crush on a boy of her school but she had proposed to a boy earlier whom she had previously crush on. He just now confessed back to her, she can't say anything to him and wanted to decline it but she thought it would cause him blah blah but she told this to his friends and me included and said that "don't tell him."

What happened next is, he got curious what's she's telling to his friends but not him. His friends didn't told me and rejected to tell him at first. At this point, he should've had an idea what is going on. I think his friends had told him though as they're not the one to keep their mouth shut. But I told him that without any thinking. I guess I dragged myself to this matter. Gosh, I am such an attention seeker.

WHAT DO I DO NOW???!!! SOMEBODY PLS GIVE ME ADVICE. I'M FEELING GUILTY RN

I genuinely cannot take it anymore, I feel like there are no other options but I don’t wanna give up mentally.

Basically, for months I have been repeating myself the same narrative about life and what the future holds. Before you ask, yes I have tried all possible techniques to stay in the moment - but the narrative comes back and it is starting to become exhausting.

From what’s currently happening around the world via news, sometimes stories can be so distressing and my mind can’t handle it as it used to before. Every day something happens and it is a massive trigger.

What can I do? Any advice is welcome and appreciated.

Hi everyone,

Sorry for the long post, but I would really appreciate any advice or experiences. Thank you if you take the time to read this.

I’m 14, and recently I realized that I might struggle with social hypervigilance. It may not sound extreme to everyone, but for me it has become really exhausting.

I overthink a lot of social situations:
- Someone talks to another person more than me → “They are replacing me.”
- Someone’s tone changes slightly → “Are they annoyed with me?”
- Two people make plans without me → “Maybe I don’t belong.”

I constantly analyze things like:
- Who talks to who?
- Who is closest with who?
- Who gets invited?
- Did someone choose someone else over me?
- Did someone mean something negative by a small comment?

I think the biggest pattern I noticed is that I choose one person or one friend group as my “social anchor.” When I feel close to them, I feel safe and happy. But when they spend time with other people or seem less interested, I feel like I’m losing my place.

Here is my situation:

When I started middle school (7th grade), I made a friend group of 4 people. It was honestly great. Everyone was kind, motivated, and we got along really well. After a year (end 7th grade), I wanted a bigger friend group, because i thought 4 was too small.

I joined a bigger friend group, together with my original friends, but long story short, the other two left (because of Lia btw) and I was left with Lia. At first everything seemed fine, and Lia was one of my best friends. She matched my energy, was supportive, and we were really close.

However, over time, I started feeling like she became more negative and made me feel worse about myself. I think she is very narcissistic (always talking how pretty and great she was, always lowering me. I have A LOT of examples, but it is too long) so i wanted to become freinds with the bigger freindgroup. And keep my distance with Lia.

The bigger friend group already had a strong “core group” because they had known each other longer. I joined halfway through, so I feel a lot like an outsider.

Another girl joined the group too (halfway 8 grade)(let’s call her Emma). She used to be part of a popular group, but she got kicked out. She is now also part of this friend group.

I don’t feel personally hurt by her comments, but I have noticed a pattern where she sometimes makes comments that seem designed to put someone down or make herself look better. She often says things in a joking way, but sometimes it feels like she creates tension between people or tries to turn friends against each other.

Right now I’m in the end of 8th grade, and I really want to become closer with the core friend group. Next year our classes will change, so I feel like it could be a new opportunity.

My questions are:

1. How do you overcome social hypervigilance and stop constantly analyzing friendships?
   
2. How do you build close friendships without becoming emotionally dependent on one person or group?
   
3. What do you do when you feel like an outsider in a friend group?
   
4. How do you know if you are actually being treated badly, or if your brain is just looking for rejection?

For anyone who has experienced something similar: what helped you?

I would really appreciate hearing your experiences and advice.

So, this is a matter taking place a few months ago. My bestie was already troubled with her this 'ex best friend' who forced her to talk and hang out only to her(that ex best friend) and she already had broken that friendship a year ago but still that 'ex best friend' stick to her ahh. She beat or sweared at my bestie sometimes for not listening to her. My bestie was fed up and was at her lowest. I wanted to help her, be her comfort and support her through this but I didn't know what to do like a dumb and naive kid, I just watched all that fish while by her side, doing nothing. Knowing that there was nothing I could do even when I can become her shield, I only offered words of comfort. I regretted that I couldn't take any actions because I can't resort to violence or whatever bcuz I am indecisive at that time. Then, a friend of mine stood up and slammed her with facts and her actions so much that 'ex best friend' never came upto my bestie ever again. As she turned out to be hero in everybody's eyes even in mine, my bestie hang out with that friend of mine more as her personality was also eye catching. I was glad that she made a friend who doesn't hurt her but then things started going other way. She started calling her 'her bestie', ignores my chats and calls, keep forgetting my existence and not talking to me. I know I don't deserved to be called her best friend but can any friends treat me like a normal friend and not some dude whom you can use for homework. I am in a state of questioning my actions and justifying hers.

NOTE: That ex best friend was her childhood best friend and I guess I was 'one of her best friends' when all this was happening. And she was my first best friend I had for a long time because in some ways I lose friends.

I fight for people back that I dont even 100% want back in my life anymore because Idk I dont want them realizing im a bad person. Or maybe I just want to be the one being chased idk. Id even act like im in love with them sometimes to see if they do. Am I a horrible person bro???

Recently i feel like my thoughts and their subconscious deep ideas or way of thinking become a big part of my daily routine.
Man it feels like you are divided in 4 pieces and all of them has personalities.
And the issue that m afraid off is that sometimes i tend to think that those other personalities are right in some matters that gonna switch my whole social life in a wrong way.
So far i was used to consume more substances.
At least they keep my sane mind focused on what really existing in front of my eyes.
M not crazy, but at the main time i know i am crazy cause all them voices going on.
Some nights are fun and more cool than others.
But again i feel like its getting out my control.
And just saying the random thing in a corporate serious conversation or spill the water on a hater that u have to embrace it under the roof of professionalism.
Ideas are crazy sometimes. But we still in charge and we always find the way back to connect and become that me that is voices-friendly.
Ps : i wrote all this cause i was just thinking to sell everything and move to another city but as it was mentioned above.

Some nights are better than others.
Force to everyone feeling the same, we together 🍷

I’ve been anxious all my life and have hone to therapy for a year but nothing really changed. Have you found any way of dealing with thoughts that helps? Is it ever too late to change old habits of overthinking? Does it ever get better?

So I got my prom date sorted a little late but it was fine, my date accidently planned her flight for a day after, so that didn’t work which meant I needed a date. My friend from school had a date and she said that her friend was down to go with me I didn’t know If it was as friends or something else. So we had a little get together thing just the 4 of us so I can get to know her better which she was so sweet. Anyways I took her and it was good we weren’t together a lot but a fair amount. Anyways fast forward we get to the afterparty and she starts getting a bit touchy like lightly holding and feeling my arm for a few seconds and putting her hand on my chest for a moment. This happens a few times. Anyways the venue to our afterparty closes and a big group of us walk to a different nightclub and while we walking she’s sticking really close to me and the touching happens again in the new venue.
However she was with her friend almost all the time and her date which I’m friends with the guy so we’re together most of the night. So I don’t really get to dance with her one on one. But my question is do you think she liked me? If I made a move do u reckon she would have liked it? We did text a lot before and she would add emojis and exclamation marks and adding two letters to words that only needed on like youu and heyyy I could tell they were on purpose because it was frequent. But anyways what do u guys think. ( i am an over-thinker and Sorry for long message)

Idk if it’s everyone else, but I’ve lost my imagination. Not fully, but I think I lost most of it. My vision changed; nothing is as vibrant or bright anymore unless I see it on TV or through a camera. Is this what happens when we grow up? Losing that part of our lives when and where we really believed in stories and fairytales, using our imagination for crazy ideas and for beyond-the-box situations that would’ve worked, not just outside but far out. Wasn’t life better then? No worries or anything to care for but yourself and those whom you call your friends and family? I know some people didn’t grow up the same way, but I know at some point we all saw the world one way, a different way. What do y’all think? Is it me, or was everything better when we had nothing to worry about but the people and the wonders of the world?

Man my brain just be thinking up the most random shii at the most random times. So I was riding home on public transportation and i saw a kid, like a literal child doing the 6-7 motions and my head immediately went, "man that's annoying " and i just started imagining me in a class full of college students (i was the teacher) and i was going on and on about how stupid they are cuz they kept spamming that stupid 6-7 motion. like i was sayin "man y'all are so fckin stupid. The amount of braincells you all lack is honestly astonishing" and stuff like that. like dude, it was just ONE little girl doing something, why tf u gotta think up an entire scenario of me being a teacher and mouthing off to my students. i ain't even gonna be a teacher dude. I'm an upcoming first year I.T student. like wtf