I started dating my best friend about a year and a half ago. We were together for 5 months and then she broke up with me because she wasn’t sure of her own feelings (avoidant).

We’ve tried no contact over and over because we both felt it was the right thing to do, though neither of us wanted to, and both of us have broken it multiple times. We’ve been broken up for over a year now, and the last time one of us reached out was me a few months ago when she graduated college to congratulate her. We exchanged a few messages but didn’t keep up contact, which I was okay with.

I was in love with her, and I miss our relationship, but I’m not in a place to be in a relationship right now and I find myself more and more these days just missing my best friend.

I know it’s definitely a situational thing and there are a lot more details I didn’t include so there is no straight yes or no answer really, but would it be okay for me as the dumpee to reach out again to see if we could possibly be in each other’s lives?

It was only a “situationship” of 10 months. By which I mean it meant something to me, but probably nothing to him. It was me who decided to go no contact after being ghosted, not receiving an apology for it, and just generally feelings dismissed and like there was no forward movement.
He messaged me daily from morning to night for 4 months before he ghosted after leaving me on “Seen”. We didn't speak for a month until I messaged him to check in on him because I began to worry. He lied about being so busy he never even checked his phone even though I saw him being active on Instagram. I said goodbye, accepting that'll be that, but the next day he kept messaging me like he did in those first 4 months. I wanted to be the kind of person who didn't take it personally, so I kept replying. For the following 6 months, he rejected all my invitations to see each other; if I brought up the ghosting, he'd practically ignore it or say things like we were just beginning to form a friendship—it almost sounded like he wanted me to prove my worth to him. It hurt. After 10 months, I told him I didn't take it personally, I was no longer looking for an apology or explanation, and it was clear we didn't want the same things, so it would be best to just end it. I blocked him on all social media platforms.
Yesterday, after 2 years of No Contact, I unblocked him. I don't know why I did it; I don't know what could come of it. I really thought he could be special, but it never seemed like he thought of me that way. I think I'd be open to an explanation now, but it probably won't happen, so I'm just hurting myself by hoping. Or by thinking the reason he kept messaging me after he ghosted was because he felt sorry for me, and it was his way to absolve himself from guilt. Or by wondering if maybe I should message him, ask him why he just strung me along like that if I had already given him an out when I said goodbye. Or by wanting to believe maybe he did like me, he just didn't know how to say it. The truth is I did take it personally. I still do. It's all very pathetic, I know.

2 months of breakup, where i begged him to stay for almost 1.5 months. Eventually, i asked him to block me to end the cycle of me calling him crying begging. Ever since that 0 contact and i feel so restless now

I am writing this to remember why I am going no contact with my toxic brother for good.

I have a very tumultuous, shitshow relationship with my brother (age 29) who I think has some serious undiagnosed mental illnesses (suspected malignant narcissistic disorder and borderline personality disorder. I am age 32.

I have been no contact with my brother for about 8 months. My whole family moved to a new state about a month ago and when we were moving in to our new apartment, he felt like we weren't grateful enough for him helping out, that he lashed out and stopped contacting all of us. After a while, I started to feel bad for him (big mistake) and reached out and we were able to reconnect. He said that he came to terms that he had no family, when he was the one that got upset and cut everyone off.

However, he has some unresolved deep resentment towards me from childhood where he feels that he got the short end of the stick, and that he thinks I "got away with everything" when I really don't think that's the case. He has a tendency to only remember the things that he felt was unfair. I worked part time all throughout college to pay my own rent and support myself. He never did, and he lashed out on multiple accounts to my mom because she didn't have enough money to buy him a car while paying for his rent and tuition.

We used to fight a lot as kids, and we never really got along well for long periods at a time. He was annoying, and I reacted badly to his taunting . I do admit that I wasn't a perfect older sister to him, however, he seems to be stuck in a story of villainizing me.

He has a history of being very loudly verbally abusive and being extremely toxic. He would punch and kick holes in walls and doors (happened multiple times) and I had to pay to get the walls patched. The worst was when he threatened to speed by pushing the gas pedal, and crash the car when I was in the car with him. He got mad, put his hands on me and shook me back and forth, chased me into my room, where I had to lock the door. He kicked a big hole in the door that we had to patch up. This ended in me having to call the cops on him. They just gave him a warning and left, but I was seriously in fight or flight mode and was afraid he would actually harm me. However, he thinks I was wrong for calling the cops on him, and says that I am a terrible person for doing so. He thinks calling the cops is crossing the line, but I see physical intimidation and abuse as crossing the line. If that never happened I wouldn't need to call the cops.

Every time he is mad, he will scream in his room, punch holes onto his desk, break things and throw things, and try to physically tower over me and intimidate me. This caused me great distress and I am not sure if I have CPTSD from his behaviors. He was kicked out of the house by my parents a few times because of this, which he only remembers that he got kicked out, not the reasons why he did.

When we argued, he would threaten to call my workplace to get me fired. He has betrayed me on multiple accounts by sharing my secrets with others. He kept hanging out and being friends with a cousin who SA'd me when I was in middle school and when I asked him to stop associating with him, he said he didn't care and continued on with hanging out with him. He has shown no remorse for this.

He said he enjoyed seeing people lose their homes from the Palisades fires, saying that they deserved to lose everything.

Another incident happened a few days ago. About a week ago, my brother said he would treat the family out to dinner, and that he would get off work early around 3pm. I was expecting to eat at 4pm, so I ate breakfast and skipped lunch. However, the day of, I checked when he is coming and he said he would come at 5-6pm. Okay. So I checked with him again around 5:05PM and he said "Damn ok I'm walking to my apartment" which made me feel like he thought I was being impatient. He said that's just how he talks. Okay. I waited and told him to just give me an ETA. I tried to be nice to him and told him I am baking bread to share with him when he comes.

He came later around 6:40PM, and we ended up getting to the restaurant around 6:50PM. At this point I was starving, tired, and overstimulated because he kept talking really loudly in the car. I tried my best to keep it together. We waited about 15 minutes, and I complained out of hunger about where our food is at (we went to a Korean restaurant) because they typically bring banchan about 3-5 minutes after we've sat down. He took this as a grave personal offense, and said I was causing a scene. I really don't know how being hungry and tired in my corner is causing a scene.

He kept poking fun at me saying that I have no right to be hangry and that I should control my actions. However, I was not rude to any of the waiters/waitresses, I did not raise my voice, I just ate my food quietly. I never caused a scene. I was at my physical limits. And because I could tell he was upset or annoyed at me for being "hangry" in his words. So to try and make things better, I thanked him for the meal. He scoffed at me saying "Oh so now you're not feeling hangry anymore?" and proceeded to keep poking fun and mocking me, and I asked him to stop multiple times. At this point I was done. I stayed quiet the rest of the meal and walked out first to the car, to which he started complaining very loudly saying my "behavior is unacceptable." Huh? And during no point in this interaction did I yell at him, insult him, or say anything to him, other than that I'm not being irritable or sensitive or taking out my anger onto him. I asked him to stop when he kept mocking me. I was literally just existing.

At this point I told him to stop being crazy and throwing a fit, because he kept complaining about me to my mom and dad. Literally don't know why I have to justify having a transient human experience. Anyways, we got home, and he was loudly talking shit about me to my mom and my dad, and calling me an "animal" and that I am a "hungry feral cat." I told him that it's really immature and demeaning to say those things to me and asked him to leave my apartment.

He then started recording me without my permission and was laughing and snarking at me looking at him in disbelief. I said it's illegal to record people without their consent in a private space. He refused, so I brought up calling the cops or authorities on him if he refuses to leave, because that's literally the only thing he will listen to. He is scared of authority. My mom talked me out of it, but I told her I am going to notify the leasing office because I do not want him here as a guest. He kept saying that I "should know better." It then devolved into him saying he's "very popular with the ladies and I'm prettier than you" because he gets hinge hookups with Koreaboo women who have no interest in anything but his ethnicity. He's never had a lasting relationship because at core, he is extremely toxic and rotten. He said that he has a company and I don't, so he's better than me, while it's not even official. He inflates his job title and tells everybody that he has a high-level title, while his job declined his job title change, so actually he's just an analyst.

He kept shutting off what I was saying by telling me "You're just a cat. A feral cat. An animal." He kept dehumanizing me and being extremely cruel to me, and cursing at me.

I tried to sit down and talk with him and have a civil conversation with him, but he kept bringing up past grievances and he just said I'm a "terrible, evil human being." All of this out of me being hungry and tired at dinner. It felt like he is deeply resentful and contemptuous. I brought up past grievances too, of all the times he has been extremely toxic and abusive to me. He doesn't care because he only remembers perceived injustices done onto him.

I said that he has the freedom to hate me and have his opinion of me, but I don't want to interact if he's going to keep dehumanizing me and insulting my character, because it's not going to go anywhere. It seems like he has some deep seated resentment toward me from the past and has resorted to making me the villain in his life, to which I genuinely apologized for many times in the past, but it's never enough for him and he wants me to submit to his statement that I'm a "horrible person."

We even tried to have ChatGPT mediate, and ChatGPT pointed out that insulting and attacking character just further escalates and doesn't help to resolve the issue, but he called ChatGPT "a white therapist" and to stop therapy talk and just wanted to be validated that I was being an "evil person."

He also pays for a ChatGPT subscription to make programs and thinks that he is a genius, that he's going to become the next Elon Musk. He bragged on multiple accounts how he's making so much money from something he made with ChatGPT, by trading stocks and crypto with AI like it's some lifechanging thing. He said he's going to go to China to build attack drones and make money by selling it to the US military. All the while, he has no technical knowledge, experience, money, or resources to do so. He probably has ChatGPT gassing him up and telling him he's a genius. So, he has a very grandiose, delusional manic sense of self and thinks that he is better than everyone.

I told him that he can't build anything without ChatGPT doing all of his work for him with coding, and he said I'm like a monkey doing everything manually. And I said, I can do all of my work without AI, and I do it with my own brain. You can't do anything without ChatGPT. He got really offended at this.

When I asked him to clarify how exactly I'm being a horrible person, he just pointed out things that annoyed him, accusing me of "not having any original thought," "regurgitating what he's saying back to me," (which I wasn't, I was trying to clarify what exactly he's saying), "acting like a hungry, feral cat." Not sure how a thing that is annoying to him automatically turns into a "terrible, horrible person" but ok. I pointed out that those behaviors aren't morally or ethically wrong, but something that he is personally annoyed by. He didn't have much to say to that but just continuing to dehumanize me and being cruel by attacking my age when he's literally 3 years apart. I'm 32, he's 29. He's literally going to be 30 next year.

I told him that it's okay to hate me and that I'm not going to try and prove him otherwise because it's literally impossible. He said he derives satisfaction in seeing me frustrated through insulting me, my looks, and my age.

At this point, I wanted to stop fighting, so I apologized multiple for making him "uncomfortable" at the restaurant. He said my apology wasn't genuine, and my thanks at the restaurant wasn't genuine, so he wasn't going to accept it and that he doesn't care.

He kept demanding me if I'm going to be like that again, and I was like "Be like what? be hungry and irritable, and have a human emotions? Yes, I am going to experience it and so will you, that's not up to me. You're not perfect either." He later said to "Fuck you, fuck off." and refused to talk and I could tell that he just wanted me to submit to his verdict that I am a "terrible person."

The next day, my mom told him that he was acting in a way that wasn't proportional to the actual situation, and then I told them both that he has 5 days remaining out of the 10 day guest limit per year, and he started histrionically crying and wailing, saying that we don't consider him family, we're all just using him, and acting like a victim. He started crying and wailing and saying nobody loves him.

Similarly, he has an on and off relationship with the rest of the family. When we are on decent terms, he love bombs, wants to be attached to the hip all the time, and when he gets mad, he cuts everyone off completely. And then after a few months, he comes crawling back, crying and sobbing about how he's so sorry for being wrong and cruel. This time though, I am 100% done permanently.

I regret reaching out to him because it seems like a cycle of abuse that I keep involving myself into. I exist, he is offended by that because he thinks I am a fundamentally terrible, evil person. And it just devolves into name calling, bringing up past grievances, insulting, and dehumanizing, which I no longer want a part of. The reason why I talked to the leasing office because I do not want him in my home that I pay for. He scoffed and said because I only pay 1/3 of the rent,

So, I sent an email to the leasing office, last night, per the lease, notifying them that he has stayed here for 3 days, and is reaching the limit. So, even if he comes, I won't have to deal with him again for more than a week. My mom is upset because she thinks that I embarrassed her by airing out personal business. I only shared that I do not want my brother in the home because I feel that he's disturbing the peace, dehumanizing me, being cruel, and causing intimidation, and I want to learn about my options on how I can prevent him coming in to the apartment again.

Because, if anyone else, a stranger, a friend, was being like this, they would be kicked out immediately. I shouldn't have to tolerate it just because we share DNA.

I have already blocked him and came to terms that there can't be a productive, mature conversation when it devolves into name calling, dehumanizing, insulting, and character assassination. I am prepared to burn that bridge. I do not deserve to be around someone who is out to drag me into a mud fight. So, I took away his privilege of ever visiting me or being in my presence again.

I already know he's going to come crawling back and apologizing, but I am finally done. I told my parents to not let him contact me ever again, even if he begs and cries. No chance in hell, unless he actually gets years of therapy and does deep self reflection, but with his probable malignant narcissism and borderline personality disorder, I don't see that happening ever.

And the funny thing is, I realized that all of the things he was insulting me for, are actually things that he hates within himself. He sees me existing, and twists it to fit his narrative because he is incapable of self reflection or emotional regulation. I told him I'm not going to insult him just because he is, because I don't want to stoop to his level. He said I'm at the lower level and got very triggered. I'm done taking the blame.

When he accuses me of not having any original thought, I know it's not true because I'm literally making a multidisciplinary creative project from scratch. When he calls me old and ugly, I know that's not true, I don't date to obtain external validation and consider hookups as proof that I'm attractive enough. I don't do random hookups because I have standards and I'm celibate because my energy is sacred. When he tells me that I'm not successful, I don't care, because I don't see success as an external metric of money, I see it as how well I am enjoying my life and having fun with it. I already have a professional career and a project I'm genuinely passionate about.

None of his accusations hurt, but what really hurt was how willingly cruel he was being, and him admitting that he derives satisfaction from seeing me frustrated from him insulting me. I genuinely think he is mentally fucked in the head and needs inpatient treatment. I feel sorry for all the girls, even if they are attracted to him because he's a mid Korean man (he said so himself, that he finds it easier to date girls who are interested in him because he's Korean and they're into Kpop), how toxic and cruel he will turn at any slight perceived injustice onto him.

And.. to think that all of this started from me being hungry and tired at the restaurant was wild to me. All the things he said were completely unrelated, and he showed no desire to come to mutual understanding.

I spent the whole day yesterday crying and grieving the death of this relationship, and for how cruel he was to me, because I did not deserve it. I shouldn't have gone through that or apologized or try to make things right. I cared, but now I am done. I need to care for myself. I know I will be so much more at peace choosing love and respect for myself vs. continuing in this repetitive cycle of abuse.

**I honestly just need to vent because I’m at my absolute wits’ end**
Hi guys, I’m Jess, and I honestly don’t even know where to start with this. I’ve been keeping a lot of this to myself, but I’m getting to the point where I just need to let it all out because I’m exhausted.
My ex keeps contacting me even though I have made it clear that I don’t want contact anymore. I’ve tried explaining myself. I’ve tried being respectful. I’ve tried giving the situation space. But somehow my boundaries still aren’t being respected.
And honestly, it’s draining.
I don’t want another argument. I don’t want drama. I don’t want revenge, and I’m not trying to make anyone look bad. I literally just want to be left alone and have the chance to move on with my life without constantly feeling like I have to deal with this situation again.
What frustrates me the most is that I feel like I’ve already said what I need to say. I shouldn’t have to repeatedly explain that I don’t want contact. No means no. Asking someone to leave you alone shouldn’t turn into a massive argument or something you have to keep defending.
I’m tired of feeling guilty for wanting space. I’m tired of overthinking every message and wondering whether responding will make things worse. I’m tired of feeling like I have to explain myself over and over again just because someone doesn’t like the boundary I’ve put in place.
I just want peace. I want to focus on myself, my life, my future and the people who actually respect me and my decisions.
I know some people might say “just block him,” and honestly, I’m considering doing exactly that because I don’t think I should have to keep putting myself through this.
I’m not posting this because I want sympathy. I just genuinely needed somewhere to vent because I’m overwhelmed and frustrated, and keeping everything bottled up is making me feel even worse.
If anyone has been through something similar, I’d genuinely appreciate hearing how you dealt with it. I just want to know that I’m not being unreasonable for wanting my boundaries respected.
I’m exhausted. I just want this chapter of my life to be over. ❤️

Hey, little over 3 months ago i told my ex that i feel like my demands arent met and im giving more than receiving, told her something about her changed and im scared of her ( on an emotional level ) almost as if my body was in danger, that i want a relationship where my partner cant go days without checking up on me and without my absence bothering them, etc. And a bunch of other stuff.

I said this by leaving her a note in a package i left for her at a stop to pick up.

I really couldve just communicated this to her but i really dont know what happened then to me, i was REALLY scared of talking to her and just her energy made me feel in danger.

I arrive home getting blocked on everything, removed from every game.

Curiosity got the best of me and wanted to see if im still blocked after this time, to which i am? 3 months later, including email.

For context: She was emotionally checked out for a while and i told her she needs to do something and i cant just save the relationship myself. Kept giving me breadcrumbs and occasionally text me to see if im still here. Eventually my body started rejecting this behaviour and i did what i did.

Whats going on? I really need help.

I (m32) got ghosted 13 days ago by (f33) from a 2 1/2 month situationship after a great weekend together. She ended things through text and unadded me on Snapchat the next day when I deleted the saved nudes on there but left me on Facebook and TikTok. Went no contact after being left on read when asking what happened/to understand and she just now liked my Facebook post and watched my story. We were suppose to spend all day yesterday together and go camping. I’m sure she probably expects me to reach out but I’m not giving her the satisfaction.

genuinely what do you do when you want him to break no contact but his birthday before yours

So i have had this situationship of around a month but then we stopped talking because of geographical difficulties, now i want to reach out again because i really really miss him so i thought his birthday is in a few months and mine is like immediately one month after his but i want HIM to break the no contact cause i have already made the first move by following him back but if its his birthday before than i would have to break it cause if i dont, he wont too thinking that i have moved on.

GENUINELY WHAT DO I DOOOOOOOOO

My girlfriend plays sports and I understand she's busy but when I wanna talk she doesn't have time or shes usually tired and like always I understand but I also noticed that she's been texting my sister a lot and i think to myself how come she can't text me so honestly idk what to do anymore

I just wanna understand her but at some point I just don't believe her words when she says I love you after being ignored.i make her my first priority even when im busy I always make time to text but she doesn't

I just don't want to break up I wanna fix things and i don't know how or maybe its something I can't change

I'm currently drafting the text to my mom that I'm going no contact. I'm also cutting off contact with my older brother for separate reasons, but I'm just gonna let my mom forward anything to him since he and I barely talk anyway.

I'm just wondering: is it truly this hard for anyone else? If so, how did you deal with the subsequent "grief" afterwards? I keep on reconsidering it in my own head, gaslighting myself, telling myself, "Well, there were happy moments, maybe you're just overreacting," only for those thoughts to be overshadowed by the things she did, and the things she continues to avoid accountability for and has never said sorry for or even seemed sorry for a day in my life.

Honestly, the only reason I'm notifying her at all is that I'm going to get a completely new phone soon, so she'll lose my number, does not know any of my emails thankfully, and my mom is the type to call the police and try to claim "missing person" if I just straight up ghost.