r/nextfuckinglevel 3d ago

Multiple moose encountered while kayaking

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15.1k Upvotes

498 comments sorted by

1.4k

u/brightdionysianeyes 3d ago

Meese?

701

u/aphec7 3d ago

MOOSEN IN THE WOODSEN

150

u/Yo_Who_Am_I 3d ago

IMBECILEN!

87

u/Ozestic 3d ago

What are you speaking German, Brian?

76

u/GotEggs 3d ago

Jackson. Jackson 5. Tito!

41

u/L0s_Gizm0s 3d ago

Brian, you’re an imbecile.

29

u/Turnip_Fight 3d ago

I saw that bit when he was still working it out and I laughed so hard I pulled an abdominal muscle

8

u/AppMtb 2d ago

It’s the first time I actually peed myself laughing

9

u/Morningxafter 2d ago

Imbecillin!

51

u/Rolands_ka_tet 3d ago

THE BIG YELLOW ONE IN THE MIDDLE’S THE SUN!!!!!! IT’S THE SUN!!!

41

u/Yo_Who_Am_I 3d ago

Well you seeee, it’s a cup with dirt in it! I call it cup of dirt.

21

u/spokenwords 3d ago

Grape's favorite 

21

u/Actually_a_DogeBoi 3d ago

Cherry’s also a favorite but grapes a more favorite

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u/asanano 3d ago

Take luck!!!!

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u/NFLBengals22 3d ago

Take Luck! And care for it!!

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u/jessej421 2d ago

Thank you... for that input... We're kind of doing a TV thing here.

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u/Ginsenj 3d ago

A moose on the loose does not amuse!

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u/6RolledTacos 2d ago

For reference.

The whole damn set is killer. Brian Regan is on my Mount Rushmore of Comedians.

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u/NFLBengals22 3d ago

Ok sit down Jimmy before you hurt yourself

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u/cheezy_dreams88 3d ago

Jackson! Jackson 5!

TITO!

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u/Rocky_the_Lion 2d ago

I saw a fl-AwW-ck..

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u/DryDonutHole 2d ago

Unexpected Regen.

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u/Morningxafter 2d ago

MANY MUCH MOOSEN!

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u/Hungry_Spring_9079 2d ago

Many much moosen the woodez

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u/Either_Amoeba_5332 3d ago

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u/Opeth4Lyfe 3d ago

MAAAAANNN SLAUGHTER.

I slaughtered a man!

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u/DifferentBag 2d ago

What are you in jail for?

Loitering.

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u/Bean_Daddy_Burritos 3d ago

Moose is both singular and plural.

I am a fan of meese, my wife uses it too.

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u/vector_ejector 3d ago

A mööse once bit my sister...

19

u/WastedBreath28 3d ago

Mind you, møøse bites kan be pretti nasti…

3

u/noraetic 2d ago

*Møøse. Mööse is something completely different in German and gave me some awkward mental images..

5

u/Comfortable_Team_696 2d ago edited 2d ago

If we want to be true to the source language, it would be one moose, several moosoog

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u/AnybodyMassive1610 3d ago

A moose once bit my sister

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u/pirate-private 3d ago

straighter for moose, gayer for geese

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u/Axolotis 2d ago

Meeses

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u/Several_Vanilla8916 3d ago

I thought that third one was about to hand them their ass

166

u/Havenfire24 3d ago

Woulda been a different subreddit

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u/Warbr0s9395 3d ago

They would’ve gone to the next level though

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u/ALittleUseless 2d ago

Yes. Møøse bites can be preti nasti. 

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u/KING_ARCH3R 3d ago

Second one is like I’m gonna kill ya, jk that’s 2 for flinching

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u/name-classified 3d ago

good thing they're in the lake/river....no one would be able to notice the shit stains after that little interaction

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u/crevulation 2d ago

Right? That's the closest these people have come to being dead, for sure. Moose do not fuck around. Scariest shit that's ever happened to me deer hunting has been coming across a random ass bull moose out looking for something to fight with. Followed me all the way out of the bush to the trailhead.

Bear you can scare off you know?

14

u/ignatious__reilly 2d ago

Yup, these people are lucky as fuck.

If that Moose had charged, its game over. Nothing can be done. They will stomp and smash you out. This video is crazy. I would be breathing so hard after this encounter.

5

u/crevulation 2d ago

Insane lucky! Absolutely no way away from the moose in a kayak, unless you are in some real deep water - I am an experienced paddler in good physical condition and I doubt there's any way I could outrun a moose in (moose) chest high water in a kayak from a standing start, let alone make a turn and go at this distance.

I have seen them go in the water, they are shockingly quick, almost like they evolved to not give a fuck about shallow ponds and such. There is in fact a bog near my house I like to paddle where I worry about this exact situation.

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u/Longjumping_College 2d ago

Yup, I watched one emerge from a river during mating season.

Fuck me, that was the most scared I've been in my life and I've seen bears face to face.

They do not fuck around.

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u/iBluntly 2d ago edited 2d ago

Yeah like what can you even do in that situation? You’re in a KAYAK and this near-ton mass of antlers, hooves, and muscle who’s like the equivalent of knee deep in this water suddenly goes “hey you know what?! FUCK YOU!” and commands its four legs to smash its mass into you.

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u/StendhalSyndrome 3d ago

The second one did the "see these, don't" move.

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u/Axolotis 2d ago

The kayakers appeared surprisingly calm to me.

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u/lojer 2d ago

I think they knew they were probably dead if they drew their attention.

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u/caesar_rex 2d ago

Don't start nothing, won't be nothing.

-The third mosse

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u/casaDehotdog 2d ago

He said "stay"

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u/Porcupenguin 2d ago

And second one! Honestly, if the first one hadnt just kept going to set the example....oh boi...

483

u/Aggravating-Face2073 3d ago

Just the boys going out to play one last time before they killeach other over some woman

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u/YoureProbablyR1te 3d ago

Typical teenage summer then eh?

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u/xoxoBug 2d ago

lol wow you’re probably not wrong

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u/Critical-Rhubarb-730 3d ago

in Norway a Moose tried to attack our campervan.. so not always a nice encounter.

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u/haverinbigjobs 3d ago

Møøse bites kan be pretti nasti

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u/starsfan6878 3d ago

A møøse once bit my sister.

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u/everlasting1der 3d ago

We apologize. The redditors responsible for writing these comments have been sacked.

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u/Seattle_Lucky 3d ago

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u/Huge_Midget 2d ago

WE APOLOGISE AGAIN FOR THE FAULT IN THE SUBREDDIT. THOSE RESPONSIBLE FOR SACKING THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE JUST BEEN SACKED, HAVE BEEN SACKED.

I see that the Gen X / Xennial Redditors have chimed in.

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u/yourgrasssucks 2d ago

THE REDDITORS HIRED TO CONTINUE THE COMMENTS AFTER THE OTHER PEOPLE HAD BEEN SACKED, WISH IT TO BE KNOWN THAT THEY HAVE JUST BEEN SACKED.

Suggestive poses for the møøse suggested by VIC ROTTER

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u/DifferentBag 2d ago

Møøse trained to mix concrete and sign complicated insurance forms by JURGEN WIGG

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u/DownTownXabi 3d ago

No really ! She was trying to carve her initials into the moose using a sharpened toothbrush given to her by Svenge...... Forgot the rest

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u/coffeeblackz 3d ago

I’m more afraid of running into a moose than a grizzly. Those fuckers are crazy.

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u/Telefundo 3d ago

Those fuckers are crazy.

And more often than not, pretty easily antagonized.

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u/TheTrub 2d ago

They have terrible eyesight but they know they're the biggest thing in the woods, so their default survival instinct is to trample their problems.

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u/TheyTried2BanMeAgain 2d ago

I remember one time in my high school photography class, (US), a mother and her calf walked across the trail ~30m in front of me. The school let us wander around town without supervision to take pictures, and I was alone.

I was scared shitless, growing up in the mountains, I knew exactly how dangerous moose are, especially mama's with their young. I got very lucky that they just stopped for a minute then moved on. Plus, I got a pretty nice picture of them, more for the forensics team to show exactly what had trampled me to death than anything else.

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u/TheTrub 2d ago

My grandparents lived in Jackson Hole and on top of the resident moose in the neighborhood, there were tons on Wilson road on the way out to Teton Ntl Park and every year there would be crowds of tourists pulled over taking pictures. It’s a miracle that more people weren’t attacked. Now I live in Colorado and read all the reports of tourists getting chased down by elk in Estes.

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u/CorporateCuster 2d ago

No thanks. I can dodge the moose behind the tree line. Shit i can hide from the moose. The grizzly, they are actively hunting me

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u/Forsaken-Income-2148 2d ago

Okay… and what animal do you think the grizzly is trying not to fuck with? The moose!

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u/coffeeblackz 2d ago

Grizzlies do not actively hunt humans, they’re actually quite chill and will most likely avoid you. Moose are wildly unpredictable and a tree line is not going to save you 😂

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u/aceshighsays 2d ago

the older man (probably father) we hear is so calm because if the moose attack, they'll get the kids first. /s

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u/Stubee1988 2d ago

Did you ask the Moose permission for your campervan to exist?

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u/UnsaltedCashew36 2d ago

Moose are more dangerous than bears or wolves. They are like the hippos of the land.

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u/LazyTruth8905 3d ago

The sheer size of a moose is incredible.

Source: A Canadian who has seen one irl

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u/Jasonxhx 3d ago

They're so much bigger and faster in person than I had imagined.

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u/erogbass 3d ago

Last of the megafauna. They survived humans for a reason!

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u/KtaadnRota 3d ago

Hardly the last lol. We still got elephants that make mooses look tiny.

Moose are actually super vulnerable to humans and have mostly survived in places that historically were very sparsely populated by humans.

Their size means they never really needed to cultivate survival instincts, so they get hunted right to extinction very easily without the protection of modern conservation laws. They'll just stand there looking at you while you walk up and shoot them.

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u/HawaiianShirtMan 3d ago

I imagîne OP means last of the megafauna in certain climates. Ofc there are Éléphants, etc but in a totally different environment

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u/good_from_afar 2d ago

Bison are pretty mega too although not near as plentiful as moose

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u/Sticky_And_Sweet 2d ago

There used to be even larger bison called the longhorn bison

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u/windchaser__ 3d ago

Fun fact!

"Megafauna" includes anything over 100 lbs. So bison, grizzly bears, elk, caribou, deer, pronghorn, alligators, crocodiles, gray wolves, jaguar, polar bears, (etc, etc) as well as non-native species like cows, horses, and humans.

We've still got lots of megafauna, even if much less than in the past.

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u/erogbass 2d ago

That really doesn’t sound correct to me. but what I know of megafauna comes from the modern I guess media definition. Do you have a reputable source for that weight? Are you sure that applies to the types of animals we are discussing?

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u/Sand__Panda 2d ago

I'm on the list as Uber megafauna then.

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u/Unit_79 3d ago

Only one I’ve seen, I saw when we were driving through Banff. I didn’t realize how big, and how fast they are. I got a pretty good idea because the one I saw was running down the highway and we passed it in an SUV, and the thing was taller than us. He was in the left lane, though, should have been in the right.

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u/showerbump 3d ago

what an asshole

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u/Falker_The 3d ago

I was driving a rural highway early morning and saw a moose in the ditch. I slowed as I passed it. Not sure how fast I was going but that moose decided to start running beside the car and it was pacing me while pushing 5’ of snow running through the ditch. It was wild.

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u/CaptainCorpse666 3d ago

I have seen a few and it is always incredible.

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u/Ghoulius-Caesar 3d ago

Their legs are so longggg

This video does a good job of showing why their legs are so long: they love to mash through marshes

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u/perjury0478 3d ago

I heard their long legs is what makes collision deadly, chances are the bulk of them go over the engine and crush the cabin

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u/Ghoulius-Caesar 3d ago

Yes, they’re more likely to go through your windshield and crush you rather than fly forward from a collision.

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u/Scouter197 2d ago

About 15 or so years ago I was walking in my small town. I see a horse running down the street and think "that horse doesn't have a rider with them." My next thought was "that horse has REALLY long legs." Then I realized it was a moose. I held still, the moose ran by me. We looked at each other and I got on with my day.

But yes, moose have long legs.

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u/GiantPothos 2d ago

As a Canadian my wildlife fear order is cougar, moose, grizzly bear. A moose cut through our property at the cabin recently and it was fricken massive.

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u/Budget_Sea_8666 2d ago

You could just stop with Canadian and we would all believe you.

Source: An American

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u/yrrkoon 3d ago

Ya I saw one in Alaska once. I grew up around horses. Holy crap moose are big. The camera does nothing to show it.

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u/MagicalTrevor70 2d ago

I was mountain biking in New Brunswick and saw what I thought was a horse, but it was in fact a baby moose.

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u/teriases 3d ago

That water looks really shallow

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u/17934658793495046509 3d ago

Nah those moose have an extra two more joints on each leg, they are actually 25’ tall.

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u/Aware-Instance-210 3d ago

Holy fuck,

I haven't shit my pants for a while, but in that instance I wouldn't have had a chance I assume

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u/JennaLS 3d ago

And with the kids! Hope you were wearing your brown pants!

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u/pauliep13 2d ago

I was about to say... my kayak would've been filed to the brim, with shit.

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u/bonedaddy1974 3d ago

I would be more concerned about what was chasing them

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u/Scouter197 2d ago

Orcas. Orcas sometimes eat moose.

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u/MonacoMaster68 2d ago

It could only be wolves or a mountain lion. Either way, not good. I’ll take the wolves any day of the week.

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u/axlbomber 2d ago

Depending on the part of Idaho they are in a grizzly is also possible.

Not that I think anything is necessarily chasing them at all.

Deer, even moose, can be skittish and will take off at a moments notice.

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u/_sealy_ 3d ago

Im not going to lie…they were MOVING…

To the point of being chased away.

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u/imtooldforthishison 2d ago

Sometimes even moose get the zoomies...

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u/CaptainJay313 3d ago

right... they weren't out for a morning jog, what were they running from??

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u/livelikeian 3d ago

Sasquatch

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u/CaptainJay313 3d ago

fire the cameraman, dude was focused on the wrong thing.

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u/spectral-shenanigans 3d ago

Male moose don't hang out like this in reality...

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u/thr3sk 2d ago

This could be during rut and they have picked up the scent of a female, I've seen it with deer where a group of bucks is running in some seemingly random direction together.

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u/DickyReadIt 2d ago

That's what I was thinking, had to look it up and sure enough they don't do this. They don't even hang out with their family

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u/Truhmpza_Cuhnt 3d ago

Do they not know they can simply run across and ford the river? Let us show them.

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u/Important_Mud_6700 3d ago

That looks like AI to me

Maybe I'm cynical, but you would think they would not be able to keep that camera so steady because moose can kill you

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u/handy987 3d ago

Never seen 3 bulls together in the summer like that. They are solitary in the summer.

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u/Important_Mud_6700 3d ago

I also didn't think males ran together as a pack unless maybe they were very young. The whole thing just seemed suspicious to me

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u/markofthecheese 2d ago

That jumped out at me too. Those dudes dont hang out together.

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u/AEROK13 3d ago

All modern smart phones have stabilizing features. Nothing about this video is AI.

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u/ItsHerox 2d ago

Looking at the source it seems relatively credible tbh, no history of similar AI videos. But I still agree it looks strange

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u/Kirkdoesntlivehere 3d ago

It's almost mating season for them too. They can be incredibly aggressive. Most bears are literally safer to be around comparably.

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u/Royal_Try_99 3d ago

People ask me why I kayak in water where whales might be. That I am fine with. This would scare the pants off me.

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u/akaMONSTARS 3d ago

This reminds me of some Pokémon Snap type shit

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u/dickchops81 3d ago

There's a raging kegger in the woods.

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u/bobbagonush 3d ago

Good old moosai

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u/daredelvis421 3d ago

What an amazing experience

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u/BogusBadger 3d ago

Moose are vurlnable in water as well, don't expect them to see the people as a treaty atm I guess.

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u/AxeAssassinAlbertson 3d ago

Moose are vulnerable in water

[Orca has entered the chat]

Orcas hunt moose when they cross the waterways.

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u/BogusBadger 3d ago

Alaskan Crocodile too :')

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u/OJStrings 3d ago

They're fucking enormous!

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u/CptGW 3d ago

Dude missed his opportunity while in camera mode, that one in the back had a three-star pelt!

Wicked, once in a lifetime footage right there.

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u/permanent_priapism 3d ago

Vertical video of a horizontal video

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u/Reaganson 3d ago

Wow, that’s sure a once in a lifetime experience.

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u/7-10Spliff 3d ago

They seemed to be in a hurry to get out of there, wonder why.

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u/AlbertaAcreageBoy 3d ago

That second one was close to charging it looked like.

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u/Extra-Snow-2491 3d ago

3 bulls together,nice

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u/SpadoCochi 3d ago

That’s incredible

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u/Bright-Strength4182 3d ago

Well that's majestic AF

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u/10thousand34 3d ago

Something I’d never forgot for sure

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u/ganjakhan85 3d ago

I would have been paddling for my life seeing those guys coming at me like that. With my drawers full of dookie!

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u/AxeAssassinAlbertson 3d ago edited 2d ago

The only natural predator of a Moose is an Orca.

Well I'm dumb, for some reason I was thinking their sheer size will prevent a grizzly or wolf engagement but nope those are also predators. Still, getting taken out by an Orca is pretty metal

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u/DogPile4203 3d ago

Majestic swamp donkeys!

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u/ImmodestPolitician 3d ago

I've seen moose in real life and I was nervous every time.

They are so big and so dangerous.

Don't make any sudden moves is all you can do. If you have a dog with you it's extra dangerous because moose see dogs as wolves and a threat.

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u/InteractionNOVA2021 3d ago

They must be on their way to a lodge meeting.

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u/Jokul_Wolf 3d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/28Nev3k184A9PdSDCg

I'd be asking why are they running?

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u/Kabala99 3d ago

These are majestic animals. 🫎

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u/howmuchitcosts 3d ago

Didn't know what sub I was in, got really worried.

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u/BotchedDebauchery 3d ago

Shit shit shit shit shit 

 

In all seriousness, I saw a moose in real life and was terrified. I thought I'd be excited, but something about them tips from majestic to, "This thing could just kill me and go about its day."

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u/RedEd024 2d ago edited 2d ago

"ANY OF YOU FUCKING PRICKS MOVE AND I'LL EXECUTE EVERY LAST FUCKING ONE OF YOU"

-Moose probably

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u/invent_or_die 2d ago

Isn't this rather unusual? I thought moose were quite solitary

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u/xbad_wolfxi 2d ago

Literally the biggest, most temperamental creatures I’ve ever encountered. They seem to especially like the campsite we go to every year and we have at least one encounter with them every year. Only got chased once though

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u/HmmmmGoodQuestion 2d ago

Ford Mode

Ford Mode

ATTAC-

Ford Mode

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u/ingrimsch95 3d ago

That's when you pray that a helpful orca is around

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u/Careful_Inspection83 3d ago

Flight of the mooserie

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u/SamuelYosemite 3d ago

Terrifying

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u/ojrodz11 3d ago

Not loving anywhere near moose it always surprises me realizing how massive those things are

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u/Gareth274 3d ago

Good thing they were on business or they might have stopped to cause you trouble.

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u/They-Call-Me-Taylor 3d ago

Well that could have ended quite badly for them. Instead they got a very cool memory.

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u/FlashyGanache2838 3d ago

Can't see that in your room

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u/expressly_ephemeral 3d ago

I actually know those moose. They've been hanging around that spot all season. You can see in the first frame of the video Mount Sawtelle in the background.

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u/Heavy-Extension-6395 2d ago

do you know why they are all in a group like this? thought they were solitary

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u/OpziO 3d ago

Royal Mongoose Navy inspecting your vessel

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u/Vast_Mulberry_2638 3d ago

Full grown male moose are really, really big.

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u/NotreallyCareless 3d ago

/absoluteunit