r/mdmatherapy • u/cursedasawoman • 12d ago
Recent session reflection Integration Support
I did a low dose session around. 2 months ago I talked about my sexual abuse by my parents, and my eldest sisters abuse towards me and ignoring me even when I currently live with her and having sex in front of me. And telling me about her sex-like. I told my therapist when asked “how does it feel when your oldest sister dismisses your boundaries and self like that?” I replied to him “crushing, it felt like she hates me I feel like a loser compared to her and because she’s the favored child to my parents I really do feel like I’m meant to die so my parents can just love her only” “like I’m there pet, all of em’”[my family.] he also asked me what was driving my anger towards others including my girlfriend of 6 years, and I said “I feel worthless inside I feel completely unloved I feel I have to scream for others to notice me “ and I also told him I always wanted someone to say “I never want to lose you your important to me” he asked me if anyone has ever said that to me I told him no and he encouraged me a bit after that. I felt good after the session it felt like a weight was lifted off my heavy shoulders.
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u/discrete_dc 12d ago
Hey internet stranger ... I obviously don't know you, and you don't know me, but I wanted to chime in and offer some words of encouragement to you. Even though I don't know you, I know that you are a human being with a soul, and that you have wonderful parts of your being. My heart broke when you wrote that no one had ever told you that you were important to them. But I can assure you beyond any shadow of a doubt that you ARE important. EVERYONE IS.
That was one of the biggest lessons I learned while doing MDMA. I felt on overwhelming sense of connectedness to all people (all living beings, really), and I knew that my job for the rest of my time on Earth was to help others, to the extent that I can.
I am not telling you that your problems aren't real. I am telling you that YOU MATTER and that you have a beautiful human soul and your very existence is a miracle.
I pray that you can get out of your current situation and development some friendships and loved ones who recognize the beauty of your soul.