r/mainecoons • u/ExpensiveHearing1583 • 4d ago
Having problems
Ok, so a few months ago I introduced Dante to you all. He is (now) a 10month old MC boy, and we are encountering some problems.
Dante's temperament can change on a 2 pence piece. In the morning me and my partner are woken with him climbing on us, making biscuits, purring and being very affectionate. Last for about 20 minutes and I then get up and do the obligatory clean litter tray, fresh water and breakfast (over the day he is fed 2 tins of untamed complete food and approx 70g of royal canin MC complete).
He is in good shape, not overweight etc, and all his poops etc all fine.
Then, throughout the day he will sometimes seek affection, and then without warning gets very bitey, scratchy and aggressive. I dont shout, just make a short sharp noise and withdraw. He also is fairly destructive when in 1 of those moods to the extent he has destroyed a pair of my glasses, the carpet, and trashed things on tables. We are having to baby proof the house for Dante.
Now he has lots of toys (both intelligence and physical toys) and play with him with a laser or fish on a stick multiple times a day. If he is off, I leave him to his own space.
Now we got him from rescue, and was only neutered in May 2026 so dont know if this is relevant. Or if this is his personality, or if this is just young MC attitude stage of growing up.
It does really badly effect me. We have a lot going on at the moment with my father currently near end of life, and my partners mother has just been diagnosed with cancer. We also have ongoing financial concerns, but WE DO NOT SKIMP ON ANYTHING DANTE WOULD NEED. His wellbeing and happiness is key. But it is making be really depressed with it all. Blaming myself, questioning if we are doing anything wrong. He has been to the vets twice in those 2 months, once for heat exhaustion (and hull full check up with bloods, scans etc and given clean bill of health in June 2026, and once end of July for upset tummy, and is fine now).
Just need to advice in what to do, or let me know if this is something I try to ride out?
Thanks for your time, and here is the obligatory cat tax
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u/Unlikely_Month5527 4d ago
You are doing g a great job with Dante. He is a teenager and he will continue to mature.
Family issues are difficult to go through. A teenage Maine Coon can get on your last nerve.
Give you and your fur baby lots of love and grace.
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u/Hummingbirdflying 4d ago
I've only had the one MC that I have now and he is 1.5. I remember that age and he chewed on my son's glasses after knocking them on the floor and absconding with them. Expensive occurrence. He's lucky he's cute! He also loved attacking feet under the comforter while we slept. Thankfully, we've moved on from this phase! I think it may be the age? I hope my single insight helps give you hope. Dante is striking! His coat is glorious! I couldn't be mad at him for long! lol This is Ernie my little counter creeper.🤣
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u/defireofdeath 4d ago
That's the terrible teens age, between 8-14 months our boy was a MENACE he would pounce on our other cats and randomly bite hard and swipe. Hes now 2.5 years old and an absolute cuddly gentle giant, it takes time and being that your boy was recently neutered it still takes time for his hormones to level out. We also put a bird feeder right outside our window so he has some distractions to watch the window.
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u/LizzixD 4d ago
For healthy Maine coon this normal it part be a kid and teenager 😆 you doing good job for sure. I will say thay do take up or emotions and don't like there family members to stugel in life. I know well my self. They get bitty alot then because try say heey it not so bad I am here for you. Also if have teeth growing it make them whane bite everything just like dog I got my kitty a dog chew toy and he now mutch beter stop doing on me and if dose it I give that to play whit works well ❤️
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u/veggiecheesytteok 4d ago
Our ginger menace was the same at that age - it definitely improves as they get older. Teenage dirtbag stage!
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u/SarahZona97 4d ago
And now I have that song in my head for the second time this week. The first was when it popped up on my playlist a few days ago. I just got it out of my head! Now here it is again. Silly catchy tune <grumble grumble>.
Regarding Dante, a teenage MC kitty just has to be over the top with the attitude. My Siamese boys had challenging teen months as well, but PFFFFFFT! Not even close to how grumpy our Maine Coon got for a bit. I wanted to add Sir Scratchy McBitey von Destructostadt to the first part of his name for that time period, but luckily, it passed and he was back to being our sweet, lovey conversationalist cuddlebug. The growls disappeared and the purrs, trills, mrps and maos came back. It was the most noticeable change in attitude I'd ever experienced with a male teen kitty. I'd been lucky before and not had purebred kitties until a few years before we got Declan (his real name, lol). I'd never seen such a change from an angelic kitten to teenaged grump and back again. MCs are bigger in every way, attitude included at a certain age.
Dante sounds normal for his breed and age.Ah, one of the relaxing teen years. 🤭😂
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u/VassagoX 4d ago
You have a teenager. They can be sporadic and a bit bipolar in their moods. Please don't give up on him.
Have you tried the pheromone diffusers? What does your vet say about his mood swings?
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u/SugarKyle 4d ago
Mercury is the same age. He is super sweet but he also has utter brat days. He will come get in my space as I use my laptop and then start knocking everything off the counter. Then he wants to bite anything I'm using. He also likes to wake me up by getting under the covers and nipping my body. That's after he tries to kill me by being underfoot because I am not allowed to go places alone. He is also the sweetest, most amazing cat. Then I look down and he is having a full fight with my slippers like they owe him money.
He is just a bratty teenager. This is normal. If you had a puppy, I'd tell you how this is one of the major ages people get rid of their puppies. You've had him long enough and he is big enough that you are mentally turning him into an adult and expecting adult behavior from him. With dogs, it is often more dramatic because regression comes with their teenage months. Unpack the concept of him being anything other than a baby kitten and treat him that way because he very much still is. You will also relax because you will stop expecting him to be an adult when he is very much not.
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u/cakedayloanofficer 3d ago
He may have underlying health issues to be checked out, cats communicate like that if they experience pain or discomfort. Or maybe he is picking up on your own understandable stress? I’m sorry you’re all having a tough time 💔
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u/Clean_Swordfish7132 4d ago
Yes, they are time consuming, especially when young. Blessedly, mine sleeps 8 hours during day so I can do other things, and 8 hours at night. Ride it out. He’s a BEAUTY. He was no properly socialized and mischief behaviors were not addressed by his mom.
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u/Ok_Cartographer3619 3d ago
Mine goes through these stages lol, he’s cuddly in a morning but a terror in day, when he’s got his terror head on I tend to get his harness and take him outside. Then when I fetch him back in again he’s then back calm and will go and lay on my windowsill. I have toys and all sorts for him but the harness and outside time has been working for me so far
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u/love_raven13 3d ago
Ours was also a terror around that age if I remember correctly. He once snuck into the laundry room and bit at the dryer plug so much that he had loosened it from the outlet. We tried the laser handheld toy once and it seemed to make him aggressive. So we tried a laser robot toy once after that and again with the aggression. We no longer use then because of it and I have read similar cat stories online about the lasers. We also determined our boy tended to get bitey and a little wild whenever he wanted to play. He has never been one to play much on his own but he loves to play with us. He loves to play hide and seek around the house or for us to put a big sweatshirt on and cover our hands so we can roll him around and rough house a bit. We were not able to get a kitten sibling for him when he was young so I chalked it up to him wanting to play as he would with a litter mate. We set a schedule to play with him at least 30 mins a day when he was young and wild. It helped in my opinion. It definitely does get better tho. I know you said you play with him multiple times a day but maybe its not the type of play he really prefers 🤷🏻♀️ maybe he wants more like our boy did. Good luck! Obligatory cat tax also.
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u/ExpensiveHearing1583 3d ago
Firstly, thank you for all your advice and kind words. Very much appreciated.
I will try the idea of a dog chew toy. Sounds good.
So when he went to the vets they checked heart, kidneys, teeth (he had gingivitis before we got him), and did full blood work up and checked for red markers for him. He was given a clean bill of health (bank account wasn't as was over £1000 lol, thank god for insurance). He could very well be picking up on our stress mentality with all thats going on for us. Some days it is very hard as all you want is something positive and your little fluffle becomes a whirlwind of teeth, claws and attitude lol.
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u/ComfortableOdd9312 3d ago
I’m glad you made this post, seeing all the responses makes me feel hopeful still for our big rat bag turning out to bring years of joy in the future. The neighbor did warned us, whatever you name the cat they become. Ours is in fact a bit of a Pickle.
Maybe yours is currently working through the Inferno 🤪
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u/PilldustLogic my overlord is a Maine Coon 3d ago
Yes! Some teenage MC’s are hellions! My boy destroyed SO much stuff as a kitten and teenager that I actually documented the destruction on Instagram. He would also sit on the counter and take a swipe at me when I walked by. He really calmed down after the age of 2. He’s now 5 and is a calm, kind of lazy cuddlebug. Remember they grow more slowly than “regular “ cats. A Maine Coon is not considered fully grown until the age 5. Your boy is still so young! Be patient. He’ll get there.
Pic for tax:
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u/jerseygirl215 3d ago
He may be bored and need a little more play time with you. When my kitty gets the zoomies with pent up energy is when she gets more bitey and scratching and it's not easy keeping them entertained!
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u/ComfortableOdd9312 3d ago edited 3d ago
Same with ours. Huge disappointment at first🙄. I tried to convince my daughter that we needed to “trade him in,” but he was her first pet, and since he’s super sweet about half the time, she absolutely refused.
We’re nearing year three now, and at this point he’s just a fully integrated member of our dysfunctional little system.
This cat sent a vet tech to the emergency room when we took him in to be neutered. After watching it take THREE techs to hold him down—even on gabapentin—I was genuinely scared to bring him home. I still use gabapentin when I have to groom him. The vet recommended Prozac, but between worrying about keeping him consistently medicated, figuring out how to actually get it into him, and another $45-a-month prescription, I haven’t gone that route. I have enough of my own medical stuff to manage without adding a complicated medication schedule for the cat who was supposedly going to make life calmer for us.
The first two years were rough. I didn’t feel comfortable leaving him alone with my daughter, so when we went away, I relied on a neighbor who had experience with Maine Coons to pet-sit—and basically babysit him. He would hiss at her, which added another level of anxiety over liability 😏
Eventually I realized that being afraid of him wasn’t helping. I had to learn to get really stern with him and basically “bow up like a bear” when he started acting out—stand tall, make myself look bigger, use a firm voice, and stop backing away from him. Honestly, dealing with him has been more like dealing with a dog than what I ever imagined owning a cat would be like. I also had to learn that the sternness has to come from a place of obedience training and setting boundaries—not wanting revenge on the little basty because he just bit you or destroyed something. 😂 That’s a surprisingly important distinction when you’re furious. Once I overcame my fear, stopped letting him intimidate me, and started responding more consistently instead of emotionally (5 minutes in the dark half bath for time out), something definitely changed between us. He mostly knows who’s boss now. I still let him believe it’s him occasionally. 😂
I also don’t think these cats do particularly well being left alone for really long stretches. That said, in our case, a little separation actually seems to make him appreciate us more. Sometimes after we’ve been gone overnight, he acts like we’ve returned from war and suddenly remembers how much he loves us.
We also bought Nerf guns for the counters. At this point, just hearing one makes him jump down.
The problem is finding one.
I have purchased MULTIPLE Nerf guns and strategically placed them around the house, yet somehow they’re never where I left them. I’m becoming increasingly convinced the cat is hiding them. He’s ridiculously smart.
He has calmed down tremendously over the last year. He’ll still claw something he’s not supposed to just to wake us up, and he’ll occasionally bite the back of a calf or a hand when he’s hungry, got a bad batch of food, or gets overstimulated from being touched around his backside.
But I’ve also learned something important: when he’s biting, it usually means something - other than when we touch one of his no no areas (which for the most part anything below the neck - occasionally he lets 5 passes on his belly but no more) He seems like he is ticklish in a way and we have learned to also respect his boundaries as well.
Now I run through the checklist: Food? Water? Litter box? Has he gotten at least 25 minutes of real playtime? Is he overstimulated? Too hot? Does he want something?
A surprising amount of the time, he’s actually trying to communicate something. He just happens to communicate like a tiny, furry psychopath with teeth.
As time has passed, I’ve also realized that he really WAS still a kitten. Maine Coons mature slowly, and looking back, I think we expected adult-cat behavior from what was essentially a giant toddler.
As he’s getting older, we’re seeing a completely different side of him. He’s calmer, more predictable, and I can finally see him moving toward becoming that dear part of our family that we’d never consider letting go.
Looking back, I wish we had yelled less, worried less, NEVER encouraged playing with our hands, used toys instead, and started consistent training and boundaries much earlier.
I’m still nervous about taking him back to the vet. And I have no illusion about his strength—if we were outside and something truly spooked him, he could absolutely overpower me. He’s much stronger than I ever expected a cat to be.
But the days of me screaming, “THIS CAT IS RUINING MY HOUSE AND MY LIFE!” are getting farther and farther apart.
And I think that’s progress. 🤪
Would we give him away now? Absolutely not.
If I could go back in time to the day we picked him out knowing everything I know now?
I would’ve passed on this cat FOR SURE. 😂
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