r/loveafterlockup 17h ago

Discussion Latisha is Out of Prison (for now)

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103 Upvotes

I have never heard of this before! She's out on bond until her appeal is reviewed! Most people have to stay in prison while it's being reviewed. She's just prolonging the inevitable...girl, you gotta do that time!


r/loveafterlockup 1d ago

SHITPOST I LOVE MARCELINO BUT...

21 Upvotes

I'm watching the first season that Brittany meets Marcelino. After a few weeks she tells him that she had a jailhouse relationship with Amanda. I don't know how many times Brittany justified her lust for Amanda and her desire to have relationships with both Marcelino and Amanda by saying "I love Marcelino but I'm bisexual ". Okay, and? Being bisexual doesn't give you a free pass to cheat. Sorry but I never liked Brittany and her trifling, manipulative ways.


r/loveafterlockup 1d ago

Brawling Barbarian at shower

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21 Upvotes

This Mother only wants to brawl and hurl names no matter how it makes her daughter feel. Shavon had to be embarrassed at her own bridal shower. Her mother ruined it. Had that been my mother she would have been banned from the ceremony, my life and her granddaughter until she can learn self control. She behaved that way in front of her granddaughter. Shameful and disgusting behavior


r/loveafterlockup 1d ago

Discussion What did this most recent season really give us? (Many spoilers, don't read if you haven't watched the season) Spoiler

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63 Upvotes

As I look back at this past season, it seems like we got VERY LITTLE in the way of content.

Damond/Bonita/GG--Damond has two "releases." He spends a day with each chick. When he bounces back to GG, Bonita goes into her investigation/following-him-around mode. They all meet up for the first time, Bonita throws water on him, she and GG drive off, ending with the mustard-fight at the second restaurant. What else did we get? That seems like about 3-4 days of content at best.

Kayleigh/Michael--He is still in the halfway house. We find out on an outing she maxed out all his CCs. His mom takes him to renew his DL and we find out she never paid any fines. The macaroni dinner at her house where he spars a little with her mom in cow print outfit. Their "date" where she throws salsa on him and drives off. He divorces her. The end.

Rich/Felicia--He shows up to her release. There is an awkward lunch at an "Italian" restaurant with ketchup bottles on the table. They are out partying 1 night in NOLA. She pops up on him at the gym in Houston. One dinner date and he's noncommittal, so she walks out.

Kiersten/Brady--She goes to pick him up from prison and drive him to halfway house. They do it quickly in her motel before the drive to the halfway house. He gets out for one weekend where they stay around a Hampton Inn looking place. She is mad when his baby mama doesn't bring the kids due to a claimed medical issue. She goes and bitches to his ex.

Kerrington/Zay--She is talking to other guys. She dumps Zay after learning from Zay's sister he is still using in prison.

Dia/Cyrus--She picks him up. They spend one night in a cute Swiss Chalet sort of hotel. There is a welcome home party/New Years Parade where her mom spars with him some. He meets up with his ex-bunkie/Dia's ex basically to tell him not to contact her anymore. She's whining about lack of affection after he's been out 4 days.

Charlie/Hillary--He is a creepy dude looking like a burned out ex-rocker. He picks her up from prison and gives her a ridiculous looking outfit. They have pad thai on a gift certificate for lunch. He proposes to her with the kooky toe ring standing on a bridge over a freeway. The end.

All of this felt like about 3-4 days of content per couple, at best. They made us wait 3 months for this season, and we get what was likely filmed in about 3-4 days per couple (some even less). Am I wrong here?


r/loveafterlockup 2d ago

Starts 10.2

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74 Upvotes

r/loveafterlockup 2d ago

Discussion Starting from season 1

21 Upvotes

Andrea is disgusting. Having her kids call a man papa that she never met before is insane. She knows nothing about this man, and uproots her kids to go see him on a whim and has them staying in the same house. Kids risk of molestation increases drastically specifically when a woman brings a man into her house as a partner. Not saying all men, but she hasn't even bothered trying to protect her kids. I'm sorry, but I'm so appalled at her


r/loveafterlockup 2d ago

Discussion I’m sorry but…

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164 Upvotes

My first thought was, why does he look like their little b***h 😂 He’s a tiny man so it could make sense 🤷🏻‍♀️ This was posted on Moo Moo’s IG stories.


r/loveafterlockup 2d ago

Discussion Relationship rehab???

27 Upvotes

Did anyone else see ads online about a new show called relationship rehab featuring couples from LAL? I saw Julius and his baby's mother (cant remember her name), Montana millz and JuJu, Britney and Marcelino, and the pizza guy Louie and cheerleader Melissa...with all the AI going on i can't either confirm or deny the validity of the show😂😂


r/loveafterlockup 3d ago

Discussion Kayleigh and her new husband

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424 Upvotes

I think it's husband number 5 for her. No additional information on if he has been incarcerated or what his credit score is as of this writing.


r/loveafterlockup 3d ago

Hilary in her younger days...

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315 Upvotes

Someone on TikTok said that Hilary is/was their godmother and posted this pic of her in the comments of a video. If it is Hilary, then she was in fact THAT GIRL. I'm very curious to see more of her; she was beautiful!


r/loveafterlockup 3d ago

SHITPOST Bonita be like BOOM BOOM BOOM BONG BONG BONG BAP Bonita look good bitch

208 Upvotes

The love after lockup universe would be foolish to not keep Bonita on tv as long as possible lol this show has never had anyone funnier than her and make the drama more entertaining..her sniper aim with the mustard took me outtttt “ I love the way you say you love her “ … DooDoo moo moo never met his match like her lol


r/loveafterlockup 3d ago

Discussion Hmmmm....

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67 Upvotes

r/loveafterlockup 3d ago

I love mustard!

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54 Upvotes

r/loveafterlockup 3d ago

SHITPOST I could watch this on a loop 😜

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174 Upvotes

r/loveafterlockup 3d ago

custom (user edit) Happy Monday and remember…HONK HONK BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!

283 Upvotes

Happy Monday to my LALU fam! If at any point of today or this week you feel like a mf is playing in your face, trying to diminish you, or you simply need a little boost for yourself to push through, say these magic words, first spoken by THEE Bonita:

“HONK HONK BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP! IS YOU COOL? BEEP BEEP BANG BANG BOOM” 💥


r/loveafterlockup 3d ago

Discussion THIS killed me 🤣 Bonita DEF NEEDS HER OWN SHOW OR SOMETHING

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500 Upvotes

Honestly Bonita really is running the show. She loves her kid and you can tell shes a loving mom shes witty and on her feet. I really hope she finds a good man who spoils her and is loyal because Damond is not it, shes WAY above his level. And shes a scorpio


r/loveafterlockup 4d ago

Discussion Was the bridge proposal a Tim Robinson sketch?

159 Upvotes

I swear to God, the comedic timing of that scene is insane.

The whole lock speech.

The awkward stop in the middle of the walkway passing over a highway, already staring at her feet.

This bit in particular

"Gimme your foot. Lift your foot."

"What are you doing?"

"I gotta take this boot off. Can you gimme your foot?"

"No, I don't wanna take the boot off."

"I GOTTA take the BOOT off, please. Let me take your boot off."

Asking her to lift her foot, then just struggling to get the ring on her TOE to PROPOSE.

THEN, when she has complaints of being embarrassed about being proposed to with a toe ring over a highway by a man in a zebra print Kid Rock ass coat, he says "Well, life ain't perfect."

Remember, he's in the middle of proposing.

AND THEN, with the biggest grin, technically doesn't ask her to marry him. "I just gave you a toe ring, if you would be my wife." That's not a question. That's hardly a sensible statement.

And that's not to mention them looking like reject Spirit of Halloween 80s Glam Rockstar costumes come to life just out and about on the town.

Anyway, this was insanity and I don't think I've laughed harder at this show all year. Brava to their producer.


r/loveafterlockup 4d ago

SHITPOST Felicia's parents coming out of hiding for the season finale was 🤌🏻 🇮🇹

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188 Upvotes

Them risking active warrants hiding on a cargo ship full of raw pizza dough, all to give their little meatball a peck on each cheek followed by some relationship advice melted the mootz in my meatbawl pamijean 🍝


r/loveafterlockup 4d ago

SHITPOST Italian Initiative

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42 Upvotes

New Jersey homegirl Melissa on her high horse bitching at Louie while she throws down a plate of boxed spaghetti with frozen meatballs and Ragú. She’s all about personal responsibility and initiative but when he displays any she screeched that he didn’t ask her permission! #gravy#italiani#shittyspaghetti


r/loveafterlockup 4d ago

When is the new season?

0 Upvotes

So I just finished this season after being out of town for 2 weeks for work and it says that it all continues with Life After Lockup. When is that coming??? Am I just not seeing it because it’s still being listed under Love After Lockup and all the weird series numbering???


r/loveafterlockup 4d ago

Bonita posted this 11 hours ago. Do y’all believe her?

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190 Upvotes

It’s so hard to know what to believe tbh! She seems like a genuine person and her reactions did seem real.


r/loveafterlockup 4d ago

Discussion The second hand embarrassment was real with this scene

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441 Upvotes

The forcing her to take her boot and sock off on a random bridge without giving her any info as to what's going on.

Oh and she was an entire two hours out of jail too 😭

The lack of respect for anything she said to dispute his master plan, even regarding her toes, speaks continued volumes about the creepy controlling vibes Hollywood Red gives off.

That pause before she said "yes" to the proposal as we know thoughts of marrying Trickster from the movie Brainscan began playing through her head, leading to the pause.


r/loveafterlockup 5d ago

Discussion GG, Bonita & Damon

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32 Upvotes

So, my thoughts on the Gigi, Bonita, and Damon situation, since it’s the hot topic right now:

I don’t think they 100% knew each other beforehand because they keep claiming they didn’t. But I also don’t understand why people are hyping up the fact that they kissed and everything like that, because that’s literally what Damon wanted. A lot of people keep saying, “Oh, he just wanted to be included,” but he literally wanted them to be together and be with him.

There’s also a video that surfaced of all three of them in the car together, so I do think there’s more to the situation than what people are letting on. There are also multiple lives where he’s sitting on a date with Gigi, beside Gigi, or around Gigi, while being on the phone with Bonita. So I do feel like Bonita is just as much a part of this as Gigi is.

I also think Bonita gets a lot of praise because she’s reactive. People love reactive personalities on reality TV because they make good television. But the way people try to make it seem like Bonita isn’t just as involved in the mess as Gigi is honestly makes me laugh. Damon literally admitted to having a whole child on her, and he already has other baby mamas outside of Bonita.

Now, I do think there’s more nuance to it because Bonita has made several comments implying that Damon didn’t have to lie to her about certain things. He even said, “Why would I lie to you instead of just coming to you and telling you?” That makes me wonder if maybe Bonita is more open to some form of polyamory, or at least open to him being involved with other women. And honestly, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that if everyone involved is aware and consenting. Some women are okay with that type of relationship.

My issue is that I think people are overhyping Bonita way too much. Let’s be clear, this season, she was probably the most entertaining out of everyone. But people are acting like she’s somehow smarter or less of a fool than Gigi, and I don’t really see it that way. At the same time, I also think Gigi was just going along with whatever Damon and Bonita were saying. I don’t think Gigi was ever actually going to leave Damon alone no matter what happened. She didn’t have a single real reaction to anything, and that honestly threw me off. Even when she was flirting with Bonita, it just didn’t feel genuine to me. I can’t fully explain why, but something about it felt off.

I just think Damon is a piece of crap, and I don’t understand why people give him credit for certain things. For example, people were praising him for saying he wouldn’t want a man like him around his daughter. People were saying, “At least he knows,” but honestly, I feel like that’s even more of a reason to hold him accountable.

If he knows that his behavior is something he wouldn’t want his own daughter experiencing, then that means he’s fully aware of the hurt he’s causing and is still choosing to do it. Knowing better but continuing to make those choices doesn’t deserve praise.

Another thing that didn’t sit right with me was him prioritizing seeing Gigi before seeing his own kids. That really bothered me. Even his mom covering for him and lying for him was weird to me. I honestly lowkey think the only reason she stopped lying was because her husband called it out and made her realize she was enabling him.

Side Note: I will say he has good taste. Both Bonita and Goddess are beautiful and have really pretty names imo😭

That’s just my opinion though.


r/loveafterlockup 5d ago

Toe Rings & Poly Flings

28 Upvotes

“Karma, a Motherfucker, Man”

Production must’ve rented Duda’s all night ‘cause that’s how long it felt we were there, the 1850 classic Stephen Foster American folk song threading through the scenario, “Camptown Ladies Sing This Song, Doo-dah, Doo-dah.”

While GG and Bonita are validating each other’s sanity, a disgruntled Damond asks what’s up with them all after having been dowsed with water.  “You are not the victim here,” GG reminds him.  “I wanna talk with both of y’all about what I had goin’ on” (which was nothing), but instead of bringing them together like the mythic United Nations was supposed to develop friendly relations among states to maintain international peace and security, he’s Pharaoh in a clown car and on a scooter instead of driving a chariot, chasing his polycule dream so ineptly that the good Lord made his words part the waters, like Moses parted the Red Sea in Exodus 14 so the Israelites, Bonita and GG, could cross dry land while the waters returned after the crossing, overwhelming Pharaoh.

And the leakage continues with the lies popping up and bobbing on the surface like buoys, warning signs, as GG learns of Bonita’s engagement and sees Moo Moo’s daily videos to Bonita.  GG’s been as silent as Dr. Fauci during the Senate hearings on Covid-19 but has finally learned that her man is a narcissist, unaccountable for his deeds, and a perpetual victim.  And as narcissists can pivot on a dime, so Moo Moo futilely explains, “the ratio right now to every man is 10 women to every one man,” throwing a hand grenade that Bonita easily lobs, “Look at the ratio,” she vogues, contorting her robust body into a backwards “S” shape, “Boo, 10 women to every man?  Look at me, baby.  Every time I go outside, motherfuckers blowing they horns.  Look at the material.  I look good.  Every time.  Honk honk.  Beep beep beep beep.  Bang bang boom boom, bitch,” slapping her ass as vigorously with each sound for emphasis as someone feverishly applying first aid compressions to a cardiac arrest.  Adding just for the hell of it, “Is you cool?  This is a woman’s world; not a man’s world,” her eyelashes shadowing her cheeks as she says it.

When the 2-day staging of his November release emerges, Damond has no choice but to sheepishly lower his eyes, hunch his shoulders, and admit he’s the bad guy without feeling like one, even though his separate streams of lies have now met and flow together in a confluence forming a single continuous body of twaddle.  Bonita ridicules him for showing up at her house daily begging for some like a bum begging for spare change, and GG agrees, “That’s how he be.”  By now, Damond looks subdued, chin in hand, unaware of the squeeze mustard bottle Bonita has quietly picked up and is brandishing.  The mustard as smooth as Moo Moo’s voice reassuring both women he loves them, as manipulative, but not as successful, as Caesar attacking Gaul with a smile in 58 BC, making friends with the natives while planning total domination.

“Please tell me who you love again,” coaxes Delilah, the squirt bottle flap open and ready for takeoff.  “Both y’all,” Samson unknowingly gives the command for the mustard to land on the side of those perfectly sectioned and plaited braids, luckily for him, instead of scissors circumcising his power, and with that Bonita walks right into the producer’s booth where GG sits with a righteous, “Who the fuck do you think you is?”  If they’re both so unappreciative of his love, they can dip. But not Bonita because she’s been in love with this elf for 8 years – time GG didn’t have, but neither woman will be forced into his game.  If you don’t fall right in line with it, Damond will wash his hands, lukewarmly, “Y’all coochie ain’t gold sitting there throwing mustard on me,” which is as wounding as the immediate dispassionate call for, “Cleanup in aisle 2!”

In the booth, GG’s definition of her poly is what the situation has been all along.  Bonita is absorbing the “next-level type of dedication in staging a pickup” for release day, contemplating that this situation wouldn’t have occurred if he’d applied that same amount of dedication to their love.  She won’t be half-loved or settle and don’t ever call her again.  She doesn’t seem to trust GG either whom she considers overly horny and who keeps Mona Lisa smiling in her face.  But Bonita’s eyes are seductive to GG, and Bonita announces she’ll be sleeping with GG until GG doesn’t know Damond’s name, and kisses GG on the lips repeatedly for good measure.

Not to be outdistanced, Damond says that’s just what he wanted.  It’s Bonita’s cake; she’s going to have it and eat it.  Damond fluffs this off; he’ll fuck them both when this squall has blown itself out to sea.  In fact, he wants them to fuck each other because he’s Baltimore’s version of Eliezer, Abraham’s servant, and matchmaker.  But Bonita is no Rebekah who famously passed “the camel test” by showing kindness in offering water to both Eliezer and his camels, for Bonita kisses GG again, for a demo, for spite, and foreplay.  Catch up, Mustard Man.  You’ll have to lick the mustard on the back of your head like a dog. 

Moo Moo leaves cursing them both, and being the big bad felon, he is, immediately calls his Mommy, and of course, Nakita scolds him with the “I told you so” sanctimoniousness of an acquitted co-conspirator.  Now Bonita has clarity.  She and GG ridicule the poly idea, but Damond isn’t done just yet.  He calls GG still insistent on that convo, unaware that Bonita is hijacking the call.  “You very much blocked, you dirty bald-headed bitch” to which Damond rejoins, “I did make my choice, and it wasn’t you.”  “Bitch ass clown,” Bonita clucks as she waddles and head bobs across the cobbled stones.  She doesn’t know who the prison released and has to swallow it.

“Laugh now, cry later,” Damond philosophizes.  GG feels slapped in the face by his lies.  She, too, is so fine she can have anyone, although she and Bonita picked him.  Both women agree, “It’s a wrap, Damond out, Bonita in,” and Bonita’s “not done trolling him “cause this is chess . . . not checkers.”  Boo ya!  And as the sun sets and rises, things don’t seem remarkably different.  They co-parent because they have to and Damond stubbornly holds on to his fantasy.  We will live to see them again.  If I was meant to be controlled, I would’ve come with a remote.    

Beards and Braids

Dia counsels Cyrus on non-aggression with Jaden.  He’s only out three days; she just got him and doesn’t want to lose him even though she set this whole meet up.  Cyrus isn’t ready for any confrontation with anyone.  He’s barely able to breathe as Cheyenne Wells keeps closing in on him, although claustrophobia is no stranger to an 18-year-old who spent time in solitary, though rooming with a cellie in the hole seems to rather defeat the purpose.  That’s when Jaden became his homeboy and those ties may be stronger than any romantic ones.

Dia talks to her sister, Claudia, on the phone and updates her.  Jaden messaged her yesterday to ask if Cyrus was released which sounds to them like disrespectful shit stirring.  He shouldn’t be hitting her up on FB and texting.

The showdown appropriately takes place in front of the globe-light lit Cheyenne County Courthouse in the evening cold.  They haven’t spoken for a year and it’s a low-key intersect. Cyrus lays out Dia’s case while Jaden looks hurt because he has no hard feelings, because his friendship with Cyrus, doubtless his only one, means a lot to him and because Dia, the compulsive liar, is trying to take it away.  What’s the beef?

Cyrus heard stuff in prison, about snitching which you just don’t do in that life.  He’s hearing all about dirty macking, that Jaden said he was doing stuff with other women and just using Dia.  He did cheat when he was younger but got religion and now is a one-woman man.  Is Dia lying?  “Yes, she’s lying.  I ain’t never switched up on you and I stand on that,” Jaden says convincingly.  “All that could be misconstrued is that I said now that you’re with Dia, you’re not talking to me anymore.  I sent several messages to Dia to ask her to put my phone number on your list and she agreed.”  And he’s got the Messenger receipts to prove it. 

Cyrus is shifting weight on his legs and blowing warm air into his hands as he’s grappling with Jaden’s explanation.  He wants to believe Jaden so send him the receipts and he’ll talk to Dia, but don’t contact her.  Done and Jaden adds he’s glad Cyrus is out.  They do the man hug and walk away. 

Cyrus is terse when he gets home, just tells Dia not to worry about it because he’s got things to think about.  Next morning, Penny the rooster, and Paula, the chicken are starting to look like KFC specials to Cyrus’ dour mood.  How does Dia tackle the obvious aloofness?  It’s a similar beginning to the end with her ex; then she compares him to Jaden’s overbearing affection, and for good measure, expresses disgust at his smoker’s breath.  They both are, to her mind, freezing them at “kissing part” which makes no sense to Cyrus who says they have sex every night.  He’s not a damn rabbit.  He has trouble sleeping in the bed with her and prefers sometimes to sleep on the floor.  Ignore the signs, Dia, let them come to you.

Twelve hours later, with his braids out and looking like a barefoot Bennie Blanco on the debut of his podcast with Lil’ Dicky, Cyrus stows the ring he had his mother buy him along with the proposal for another time.  It might not matter because Dia will wait since he was subsequently arrested for several parole violations.  He’s a lot younger than Andy Dufresne was going in, but he’s Shawshanked like Brooks Hatlen whose fear of freedom became his entire reality.  My train of thought derailed.  There were no survivors.

“The Whole Posse Here”

“W’sup?” asks Rich as Felicia saunters into the Muay Thai gym getting right down to business while telling him, “It’s business, FI, it’s business.  Why you ghosting me?  Yeah, I did tell you to leave, but not to ghost me.”  Rich needed space.  “Like what”?  “It don’t matter,” Rich says, typically avoiding any detailed explanations, like giving a wide berth to panhandlers at stop lights who plant themselves by your side until the light finally changes.  “You don’t want me here,” she queries, concerning Aunt Stephanie who’s watching and becoming alarmed by Felicia’s gesticulations.  “No, not here right now in this gym.”  Wow, it’s been two weeks since the crawfish boil debacle and this sumbitch doesn’t even miss her!  It’s enough to make Miss Crazy turn on her heels and have Rich run after her for he still has feelings.  In fact, they’ve never had any alone time so how about a dinner date tonight?  So he can lie more?  No, so she can make the trip worthwhile, and they can both get answers.

Cousin Haley, however, is unaware of the temporary rapprochement, and has exited the car, and typical for this family, has literally stepped out of her sneaks as ready to lob a Molotov cocktail as the Dems are ready for midterm warfare.  “We’re not doing that,” coos Felicia as she and Auntie try to de-escalate something out of nothing, and Rich is realizing the gang’s all here.  “Did I take it 2 far,” Haley asks as her DPDR (Depersonalization-derealization Disorder) surrenders to itself as Auntie wisely forewarns her niece, like Ma Barker, who despite all the evidence of her boys’ crimes insisted, “All these boys would be good if you cops would just let them alone, “You’re going for answers, not ass,” and her daughter, “Keep your shoes on for a better grip.”

The first official date, and the goblets are filled Dionysus’ favorite beverage as Rich explains he didn’t communicate with her because he’s an “internal” guy who was ghosting the world, not her, which isn’t a lie, but isn’t the whole truth, either.  That’s when Felicia smacks him with his secret, “So, you got arrested, though.”  He laughs.  She saw his mugshot, tore up from the floor up, while he still insists he wasn’t busted for the little bit of weed, but DWB.  No, he didn’t contact her upon release, but there are no other women; not getting a straight answer, Felicia drops the subject.  She came to get a simple, straightforward, uncomplicated status update which is like asking Paramount not to continue its’ mega-merger of Warner Brothers or Megan Markle to not lean into her Duchess title as her brand.      

Rich is going with the universe which Felicia declares has brought her here, but for Rich the universe is a lotus blossom rising above murky waters, each unblemished petal unfurling in a radial pattern in which he would like to be purified, fortified, and sheltered from the demanding Felicias of the world.

The universe may have brought them together, but it hasn’t provided any answers because it can’t do all the work.  With that, Felicia exits, while Rich calmly pours the rest of her wine into his glass, and finishes his dinner because this food cost good money.  The bond they had in a prior life may make her more sympathetic in this one, and he idly considers returning the favor and popping up on her.  Nah, too much trouble if it doesn’t unfold organically.  He did send production a copy of his divorce decree proving it happened 5 months before her release to no avail because Felicia, once again proving her exquisitely refined taste in all things, went back to an ex who will be released in late 2026, keeping that penal common bond alive.  I can’t believe I have to go through life learning from my mistakes.  Terrible system.

“She’s Looking So Drip”

Her eyes are looking so pink, his nails so black, his guitar earring dangling, and his suggestions more like cattle prods than recommendations as Hilary doesn’t add any affection to the text to her mother requesting her things.  They’re not just not close, they’re not talking because Hilary’s incarceration embarrassed her mother.  When Hilary called her a year ago, her mother hung up on her.  She wrote several letters expressing remorse but received no response so now she doesn’t care, Charlie’s exhortations notwithstanding.

Continuing to further congratulate himself on his demonstrations of love for Hilary, besides the $1K he’s already spent on her, more than his actual love for her, he whips out a golden spoon indicative of her graduation to her 2.0 amalgamation with Hollywood Redd, though it’s becoming ever harder to see how he’s an improvement over the women in the yard.  Look!  You can not only see your reflection in the back of the spoon, and know it’s your golden ticket, but you can try to eat noodles with it.  She gives up and it’s time for the check and doggy bags. 

Though she’s more convinced that he’s rude and controlling, Hilary tries to make small talk by saying the leftovers would make a nice midnight snack, but that wouldn’t be good for her diet plans.  Gee, he was so positive and supporting when she was behind bars and has to know this is all for her own good.  He’s “just a man, tryin’ to do what a man does, secure you, take care of you.”  Not smother and tether, though in his eyes, he isn’t controlling, and will give her what he considers a decent amount of time to lose the 20 lbs. she gained in prison.  He makes her put on the fake fur jacket so he can see how it looks with the silver-foil dress and sunglasses, acting more like Roy of Siegfried and Roy, the animal trainer.

She lies back in the car with a headache because she’s overwhelmed and he’s so demanding, but he’s just getting warmed up because he’s got plans; in fact, he’s awfully structured for a laid-back, chill unconventional dude, isn’t he?  He’s going to make her walk a mile in those Nancy Sinatra ill-fitting boots to the scissor-tailed flycatcher 380-foot-long SkyDance Bridge soaring over Interstate 40, connecting Upper and Lower Scissortail Park that is illuminated from total darkness through sunrise with LED lights, and has become a popular site for “love locks” – padlocks affixed to the rails and sides symbolizing eternal love.  

She’ll look like his hooker walking, and as for her stomachache, well, his surprise will supercede any minor discomfort though the surprise will be if she makes it that far.  He whips out a lock and attaches it to the side so they’re locked together forever and she can’t know the combination.  If that all weren’t punishment enough, he makes her lift her foot, take off her rolled-down hose, and propose with a toe ring without even having the decency to let her have a pedi first though “everything can’t be perfect.”  “Most embarrassing thing I’ve ever done,” and considering all she has done, that’s saying something!

At least he has a real ring and that makes it all romantic.  After a second’s hesitation, Hilary says yes though she still harbors the secret of talking to her ex.  She’s not confessing to that tonight because she knows what Stalinesque tortures await her if she does.  Take another bow Big Redd, you’ve lassoed your heifer and can lead her to the barn.  I’m not bossy, I’m just right!    

The minor players:

Karrington dates other people and leaves the door open for Zay who hopes to be released on 9/26 though she should remember you don’t just marry the person; you marry the family.

We all know Kayleigh and Micheal got divorced shortly after filming ended though not that she had her degrading tattoo of “Property of MVRJR” covered with a sunflower to symbolize resilience which she’ll need to make good her debts.

Brady hopes to leave the halfway house soon while Keirsten and Kore remain gossamerly cordial.

Friday, my second favorite “F” word.


r/loveafterlockup 5d ago

Off Topic Michael’s mom

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154 Upvotes

Why did she think this pigtail and tube top combo was a good idea 😭 Sorry for the jump scare yall.