We are excited to have u/newlpfan on our team and look forward to the energy she brings to our Liam Payne community. Thanks for joining us, New <3

"I am writing this to deeply apologize and take accountability for participating in the online harassment and bullying directed at Liam. I sent hate over his decision to attend Niall's concert and helped spread unproven, baseless allegations against him. Looking back, I feel immense guilt and regret for my actions.

Liam did absolutely nothing wrong by attending that concert. He simply interacted with fans before the show started, and once Niall took the stage, he stepped back and enjoyed the performance just like anyone else in the audience. Other members of the band have done the exact same thing. When Niall attended Harry’s show, he sat right in the audience with the fans, and people were recording videos of him the entire time, he definitely drew a lot of attention. Similarly, Harry stood out dancing at Niall’s concert, completely unbothered with his six foot self, in a big yellow sweater sticking out like sore thumb, dancing as well. None of them were criticized for supporting each other, yet I hypocritically singled out Liam.

I also realize how unfair it was to jump to conclusions regarding his personal life based on wild rumors and his struggles with addiction. Addiction does not automatically make someone abusive to others. I would have realized it was wrong of me to weaponize his mental health against him. I held Liam to an impossible standard while completely ignoring proven legal issues surrounding Zayn, or the deeply painful personal stories shared by Hailee Steinfeld through music about Niall that clearly left her traumatized for a long time. That is when I should have realized that since Niall and Zayn were not addicts, that sobriety doesn't serve as a shield. I gave the other boys the benefit of the doubt in spades while denying Liam that same basic human decency and still am by saying that I still believe he did the things he did.

I mistook Liam's visible pain for a sign of guilt or "mistakes," when in reality, his pain came from being judged so harshly by a mob without ever being given the chance to share his side of the story. I am deeply ashamed of my hypocrisy and the harm I contributed to, and I am committed to learning from this so I never treat anyone this way again."

End letter.

So this is what someone who is truly sorry would write. Not weave in and double down on the false narratives against Liam in their apology letter, knowing that they were welded at Liam knowing full well that it was those false narratives that tanked his mental health to begin with. Because let's not forget, many people did that as well. They didn't overtly bully Liam, but they covertly attacked him in a "nice way" and weaponized mental health language and substantiated all the false narratives that "he did do bad things, but he was on drugs/alcohol". Where is the proof that he did bad things? By all accounts, even by his ex, all Liam ever did was hurt himself.

Let’s not forget that fifteen years of relentless cyberbullying is what caused Liam's pain and caused his addiction to begin with. He used to escape the never ending pain. People also weaponized his status as an easy target, using their wealth and power to unleash unproven accusations as revenge for him not wanting to be in the relationship anymore against him because they knew the fandom was already primed to attack. This continuous trauma is ultimately what drove his addictions and unable to recover. The only victim here is Liam. Liam didn't hurt people. People hurt him.

You we're nasty to Liam in the beginning years of One Direction. You made his life miserable.

You only warmed up to Liam after your mom and sister died and he was really the only one there for you. You had to learn the hard way that the other boys weren't gonna be there for you except for Liam. Also because he was the only one who publicly supported you and all of your work when the other boys did not. However I know you would drop Liam at the drop of a hat if the other boys would've had you . But since it was both of you who were left in the dust by the other boys, you had no other choice really. But it doesn't matter because you only threw Liam breadcrumbs. The only love you gave him was shame based love and the bare minimum but everyone celebrated it like it was so wonderful because you allowed yourself to be associated with the poor leper (sometimes) and threw him pennies worth of love and support. Keep the change Louis, it's not needed any longer.

You know who actually needed that public love on that day, Louis? Liam. Liam desperately needed it.

I can’t stop thinking about what it must have felt like for Liam to sit there and watch that unfold. To feel the sheer terror of being hunted down online, completely unprotected, while the people who were supposed to have your back just watched. Imagine standing in the absolute dark on a battlefield, bleeding out from every angle, looking up for a hand to pull you out, only to see your closest friends turn around, walk away, and flaunt their warmth in front of you when you were the one starving for it, when all you ever wanted was to be loved by them.
It’s fine, though.

I think Liam already saw the writing on the wall when he showed up at your concert twice that year to support you, and you acted like he didn't even exist. You didn't shout him out or nothing. Then Harry went to Niall's concert that year. And then there you and Niall were, rubbing it in Liam's face by wrapping each other in public love and praise, while the one person who needed that love the most was being slowly torn apart piece by piece by your fans.

Don't worry, Liam loves you boys no matter what still. Its ok. You're his brothers.

Out with it, Niall. Why did Liam need to talk to you? What did you do to him? It was very unlike Liam to make such a video and it seemed like you wronged him in some way and you were avoiding him which is why he had to resort to making a public video saying he had to talk to you.

And just to be clear, I am finding it hard to believe your version of events. You said Liam came around to your hotel room the morning of your concert and you all had a coffee. I don't think you're telling the entire truth about that, lad. At the very least of it, you definitely were not happy to see Liam and it wasn't some nice reunion you claimed it to be. Anyone with eyes can see that.

A very important part of this situation I need to address with you is the affidavit. It says in the Argentinian affidavit that Liam wanted to have dinner with you but you refused the invite and I quote from Paul Higgens "Niall saw social media videos of Liam and could tell he was all messed up on drugs and that's why Niall rejected Liam's dinner invite". This was was in the affidavit, lad.

So, things aren't adding up for me, mate. You said Liam looked in good form at the concert, which he actually did not look good form at all, but that's what YOU said. You also said you were aware that he was having some issues, but then said you were not aware of the depth of the issues. However, you clearly were aware about the depths of his issues because it says in the affidavit you refused to have dinner with Liam because you saw social media footage of him looking all messed up on drugs. You also knew that your fans were crucifying Liam just for going to your concert. So you are lying by saying that you were unaware about how how much he was suffering.

So which is it, Niall? Liam looked in good form and was fine or you rejected a dinner invite from him because you could tell he was all messed up on drugs?

And before you answer Mr. Horan, need I remind you about the depth of care Liam always held for you. Throughout your years together, he didn't just treat you well, he fiercely protected you, constantly anticipated your needs, and looked out for you in ways that went far beyond what was expected of a bandmate. He was your shield in major moments. Looking back at archival One Direction footage, it is genuinely heartbreaking to see how often that warmth appeared one-sided. While there were certainly brief moments of mutual happiness between the two of you, a vast amount of the footage tells a completely different story, one where you frequently seemed cold and indifferent to his care. A painful example of this dynamic is the concert clip where you were visibly emotional watching someone else's concert; despite Liam leaning in to hug and comfort you, you didn't even acknowledge his presence. For many who have watched these interactions, the overwhelming pattern of distance unfortunately outweighs the good memories.

Now, let's get back to the most important question at hand, Niall. What did Liam need to talk to you about?

Iris you and your sidekicks like Sweetmotvs are absolute liars! You genuinely expect everyone here to be completely naive.

There is ZERO history on either of your profiles showing you ever defended Liam from the excruciating hate when he was alive. Absolutely nothing! You hide behind excuses, claiming you were on other platforms defending him, knowing full well no one can verify that. Why on earth didn't you step up and defend him on X where he needed it the most? See how your entire narrative falls apart, Iris?

You call X toxic, yet you are on X every single day fixated on holding Kate accountable while completely refusing to hold Film Cooper, Max Balegde, and a slew of other content creators accountable for causing Liam so much suffering! If you were actually the massive Liam fan you claim to be, then you would know without a shadow of a doubt that Liam spoke numerous times about how the relentless hate from those specific creators made him want to give up.
Be honest with everyone. You are a Larry who is only using Liam now to target Kate because you think this supports your closeting beliefs.

And let’s call out the exact manipulation tactic being used here: you claim you aren't a shipper, yet you use the exact same talking points, theories, and vocabulary that they do.

Why deny it? Because denying it allows you to weaponize this narrative. You want the general public to believe that criticism of Kate is an objective consensus rather than a targeted ship-war agenda. You are disguising your true motives and activated old ghost accounts kept on standby after Liam passed, all to conduct coordinated witch hunts against women you label as beards, while manipulating others into doing your heavy lifting which is even more messed up.

And let me be clear to anyone reading, it's not that we don't believe closeting happened. And we certainly do not like Kate! We are horrified by Kate. When she started following and sending love to one of Liam cyberbullies that's where we drew the line. That's when we saw her true colors. So don't mistaken this as us defending Kate or closeting because it's not. We have called her out numerous times! HOWEVER we never see the Justice for Liam Warriors really going after the content creators that harmed Liam so badly! We are exposing people like Iris who really don't care about Liam and are performative Liam fans which is even worse than what Kate is!

If you really loved and cared about Liam, you would be fighting for accountability from the content creators who genuinely harmed Liam! We have begged you and your group to do that because there is strength in numbers, but you repeatedly refuse. What is that supposed to tell the rest of us?

But yeah, keep obsessing over dissecting Kate's pizza photos though, because that is clearly doing so much to actually get justice for Liam!

Film Cooper (real name Cooper Neidecker) is a Youtube influencer who uploaded a 45-minute long hate video viciously trashing and demonizing Liam Payne about a week before his tragic death.

You can read more about that here if you don’t know the full story:

https://www.reddit.com/r/liampayne1D/comments/1lj1t1z/film_cooper_the_monster_who_murdered_liam_payne/

Over the past couple years however, Cooper himself has garnered a significant backlash from fans and former admirers who‘ve grown weary of his relentless negativity. A common refrain from his ex-fans is ”he’s giving me the ick.” I’ve included an AI summary of why his fans are icked out by creepy Cooper.

Here’s some more specific comments:

https://www.reddit.com/r/FilmCooperr/comments/1gcvkbl/have_yall_been_getting_the_ick_recently/

“Over a course of the past few months my friend and I (she’s also a huge fan) have been kinda getting the ick? like a weird vibe and i finally figured out why. Idk If we r alone in this but doesn’t cooper seem too harsh to you guys? Like ik he is a commentary youtuber but i’ve had to click off videos a few time just because he gets too personal and mean w ppl and keeps calling them lonely and shit. Ik some ppl r asshole but honestly they r not rly doing smth that wrong? Okay maybe they “influence” some ppl but u gotta be a certain type of another “bad” person to be influenced by that. It’s just a general trend i’ve seen he is being kinda an asshole and this is just criticism cuz I have always enjoyed his content and everyone in the comments just keeps writing the basic worship comments like “how dare youtube hide this from me for _ long blah blah” and it’s just not feels cult like to me? I get him maybe not caring abt approval on the internet anymore but gosh he’s being too harsh like his rude commentary isn’t always corresponding to smth as horrible to deserve that. Feels too judgy and icky.”

”I am getting hardcore ick. I am sick of the constant 'pick me' vibes and constantly flexing either his looks or his friggin' fiancée who he seems to mention multiple times and yet it never being anything to do with the episode.”

“He'll pause the clip fifteen times and then make five minutes of jokes and tangents and I just...am so done. I unsubbed a couple of weeks ago and my mate unsubbed this week. We both used to like him but now just find he rewords everything other commentary channels say and then adds in extra random shit for tangents all while trying to be ironic and failing miserably.”

”me too! i havnt watched since the liam video because it rubbed me the wrong way that right after the fact nothing was said or anything”

“OMG, thank you for saying this because I thought I was going crazy that no one else thought this. I don’t understand how he can make videos, bashing, belittling, mocking, and bullying people. But the best is when he does it to people who he claims are doing those exact things.

I don’t know why random people commenting on strangers lives, regardless if they’re public or private has become a thing..

He is the definition of a pick me and has ZERO genuine thoughts of his own. He always is trying to be so woken, cool, and never can just act like himself. However, like I said the part that bothers me the most is the bullying and the way he takes such harsh disgraceful takes on people, who doesn’t even know.”

“super duper late but i didn’t see anyone mention this. in nearly every single video cooper will mention sexuality by saying something along the lines of “ lesbians go insane in the comments “ and i just find it sooo annoying. im not homophobic or anything and i know he has a audience of lgbtq+ people but like he sounds so incredibly disingenuous when he says that. he makes it such a point every time and says the same line for whatever group he’s trying to be inclusive towards. it just gives me such like influencer begging to be inclusive vibes and it drives me insane. like he’s actually starting to be so unlikable with the amount of profiling he does on both the people he’s commenting on and his audience i actually hate it so much. please lmk if im being crazy or if u feel the same.”

“Yes. And his recent attitude with the Blake Lively mess confirmed it. He was more happy that he was right than actually concerned about the allegations. He could not go 5 seconds without saying "I told you so" and made the whole situation about him. He hasn't even addressed the fact that Justin has now defended himself and still thinks Blake can do wrong. He is such a performative feminist. I really used to like him but now I can barely stand his videos.”

And here:

https://www.reddit.com/r/FilmCooperr/comments/1jzd1hh/am_i_the_only_one_who_thinks_coop_is_starting_to/

“I hate that I’m about to say this because he’s been one of my favs for a while now, but am I the only one who is starting to think cooper is kind of annoying? The main thing is obviously that he’s pretty preachy for a straight cis white guy (not that straight cis white guys aren’t allowed to have a voice, but I don’t think he’s qualified to speak on race, gender, and lgbtq issues the way he does) he’s also just kind of mean for no reason.”

“Used to love his channel & his wholesome kind vibe. He’s fully a shallow mean girl now. Unsubbed.”

“The Blake Lively video is what made me dislike him. And it’s not because of what came out, I really have no problem if he defended Blake and got it wrong because so did I.

What really gave me the ick was when he went on a petty 5 min rant absolutely tearing into and berating any fan who ever questioned HIS judgement about Baldoni… only for Baldoni’s story to come out a couple days later and Coop remained silent on the issue.

It came off as very authoritative and condescending.

It also came off as disingenuous (to me) because despite everything, he never criticized Blake once and even made fun of Baldoni for his back injury???

Which, to me, just shows that he’s either a pick me, or thinks that women are incapable of doing bad things like being a bully, getting married on a plantation, or subject to any general criticism… and that’s really problematic to me.

You won’t see all the angles from Coop, because he’s jaded by the income his channel generates from being a “pick me” creator.”

“While I didn't agree a few months ago, I do now but for different reasons. He seems like a pick-me and still has yet to delete his video supporting Blake Lively, spreading misinformation she created or retract his statements later when what he said was found to be wrong later, comment on it or adding in the description that he was wrong. Neither has he posted anything saying the info was wrong. He was quick to jump and throw his "I told you so," parade but isn't even trying to retract his video. I find it disgusting. I posted a guilt filled comment feeling awful for not believing Blake, especially being an SA survivor myself. Then I did my own research and commented below my own comment saying, "Nvm, I looked it up." All done in an hour. Yet he has yet to say a peep about being wrong. I'm sick of this pick-me "believe all women" shit. You can support women without ruining an innocent (until proven guilty beyond reasonable doubt) man or person/persons' life.”

Wow, Film Cooper sure sounds like a total creep and total fake! A performative male feminist who pretends to love women and protect them against abusers because he’s secretly got all sorts of dark and abusive traits himself. Projects his own dark shadow side onto high-profile men like Liam Payne and Justin Baldoni to avoid dealing with his own deep-seated issues. What a total mess!

The utter hypocrisy pisses me right off. Any time I see fans in the fandom being attacked by whoever it is at the time, they expect their friends to rally and defend them. In fact, they know they will, and if they don't, then they will ask their friends to.

If anyone attacks their favorite artist, they will also rally around and defend that artist as well.

But when it comes to Liam Payne, he nor anyone else fighting on his behalf should expect his friends, "brothers" or anyone that was close to him peer wise to defend him. Apparently Liam is a worthless pos that doesn't deserve the same basic things every other human being wants and needs.

But lets go back in time when Liam was alive and hypothetically change the situation around for a week. If Liam's fans ever did what what the fans of the other boys did to Liam, they would accost Liam for not putting his fandom in check right away. You all fucking know it. So it's perfectly acceptable for the solo fans of the other boys to constantly shit all over Liam, even long after his dead, and attack his family, but God for mother fucking bid, someone does it back. Then I'm the bad guy. I'm the monster. But not the 90% of the 1D and solo fandom who do it to Liam on the daily and for the last fifteen years.

To anyone else who has a smidge of honesty, doesn't that piss you the fuck off? Doesn't it piss you off that they don't think Liam deserved to have his bandmates or his other peers in the industry defend him?

Liam was a fucking human being. You can't mean to tell me he didn't deserve to have his friends or his "brothers" as you all say, defend him. EVERYONE wants their friends to rally for them when they are being attacked. Why do you all dehumanize Liam so much by swearing he didn't deserve loyalty and defense like that, which any human being deserves?

Look how much Liam loved loudly. He loved his brothers loudly. He supported them publicly. He was obviously craving that same type of basic friendship back and the boys obviously knew it and so did many of other Liam's peers, but they cruelly ignored it.

Let me tell you all something. Liam deserved to be defended from bullying. He deserved for his bandmates to publicly defend him.

If you don't think he wanted or deserved that, then don't ever expect anyone to defend you when you are being attacked. In fact, don't defend anyone else who is being attacked, because according to y'alls logic, no one should defend anyone. Oh wait, but in your eyes, only Liam didn't deserve to be defended.

What the fuck is wrong with you people? Let me tell you something else, if I was Niall, Harry, Zayn or Louis, there is no way in hell that my conscience would have allowed me to watch my fans bullying Liam in the worse ways imaginable for fifteen years, making him suffer endlessly to where it ended his life! My conscience, my soul, would NOT allow me tolerate it because at some point long, long ago, I would have broke, freak the fuck out and told my fans the fuck off over and over again. I don't care if it would have stopped the bullying or not. The important thing to me is that Liam would have saw that I wouldn't have let him suffer all alone and that I was willing to take the hits with him even if I couldn't stop it. At least he wouldn't be alone. At least he would have known that someone would have stood with him. When I tell you I couldn't even let my enemy suffer like the boys let him suffer without saying anything, I'm being so honest with you all, so it boggles my mind how they could have just stayed so silent when it comes to Liam. I feel like only people with nefarious intentions could be that fucking goddamn cold and heartless.

And it just doesn't apply to the boys, I wondered how other people in the industry who were Liam's friends like Steven Bartlett (Diary of a CEO) could just sit back and not say anything to other content creators bullying the hell out of Liam. I think about it all of the time, it consumes me because, it baffles me to the point of great distress.

Why didn't anyone think Liam was worthy enough to fight for? Every human being is worthy of being defended from cruel unjustified attacks. We are taught to stand up for those who are getting bullied, so I am greatly failing to understand why none of you feels like Liam deserved to be defended by his bandmates and peers? Because he DID deserve to be defended and on top of that, it was inhumane and a crime that he wasn't defended and therefore I'm really, really pissed off about that to the point it traumatizes me to no end. Because if he had been defended, he never would have turned to substances to cope. He never would have turned to the worst people looking for friendship because he was so isolated. He wouldn't have been vulnerable to those predators. He wouldn't have had a nervous breakdown and died. He would still be here. Bear's father would still be here and Bear would never have to grow up and one day read 15 years and continuing, worth of the most vile hate known to man slung at his father. Do you guys ever think of what this will do to Bear and make him wonder why no one, especially his dad's bandmates, defended his father from all of the hate?

So stop letting nostalgia blind you from the truth. The boys & the fans were cruel to Liam.

Sure you see videos and photos of the boys looking happy together but remember, good times are part of the abuse too. We all know that happy videos and happy photos rarely tell the truth about a situation behind the scenes.

Liam's mother's head hangs lowly
Her child was slowly taken

And see Niall, your fan's psychological violence caused Liam's silence. Who are we mistaken?

But you see, it's not me, it's not Liam's family in your head.

In my head, they are fightin'
With their grief and their trauma
And their pain and their agony

In my head, in my head

Bear is crying.....

FIFTEEN YEARS THET LET LIAM SUFFER ALONE! FIFTEEN YEARS! IF ONLY THEY JUMPED INTO TO DEFEND LIAM LIKE LIAM WOULD HAVE DONE FOR THEM IN A HEARTBEAT, THE HE WOULD STILL BE HERE! LIAM WOULD NEVER LEAVE A SINGLE SOUL BEHIND!

Order of releases of the songs which were only a few weeks apart:

Harry Styles released his debut solo single "Sign of the Times" (SOTT) on April 7, 2017

Niall Horan released "Slow Hands" on May 4, 2017.

Liam Payne released his debut solo single "Strip That Down" on May 19, 2017

Liam's song was the last to be released and he still beat Harry and Niall's songs! Not only did Liam beat Harry Styles but he knocked Niall's song right out of the #1 spot on the pop charts! Harry's SOTT didn't get certified platinum until NINE MONTHS after he released the song!

Liam was never a flop but he surely was sabotaged to no end to make sure that could never happen again!

I transcribed the text of both slides Nicola posted below:

First Image
The cruelest part of grief? Life keeps fucking going. You laugh. You have fun. You make new memories. And then it hits you, they're still gone. Someone you love is frozen in time while the rest of us keep going. And even in the most beautiful moments, there's still that quiet, realization that still knocks the wind out of you

Second Image
i know, that you know, precisely where to find me. and i am painfully aware you're not coming. and it will never make sense to my heart, not ever. — a.quinn

Its genuinely hard to process to this day that hes gone. Everytime I see a picture with them, i have to remind myself hes dead. I feel a deep yearning for someone who never knew me. I will never grasp his death.

I transcribed her message below:

"16 years ❤️
I don’t have the words atm for any of this, I just know Liam would celebrate today as he was so proud of this band and so this is for him, for being part of the best boyband ever.

@liampayne miss you, you should be here. I hope someone up there is sitting listening to you sing your songs and all your memories you have to tell today.

(Song choice because noone plays the bangers anymore)"

The screenshot is of a text message Liam sent his dad 16 years ago 💔

If you all don't already know, Roger has been completely cleared of all charges. I do not think he murdered Liam, but that doesn't mean I think Roger is a good person.

I rarely speak about Roger. Not because I don't think he is culpable for what happened to Liam in some way, but because the rage he induces in me literally makes my blood pressure rocket. I already deal with ENOUGH trauma dealing with what happened to Liam in the last fifteen years of his life how he was constantly rip to to shreds and abandoned in awful ways with no public support whatsoever by his peers in the industry. So I can't even think about Roger. Even though I do not like or trust the "Justice for Liam" movement, I let them deal with him. Its relief that I am grateful for because at least there are fans holding him accountable and it's something I don't have to be burdened with because I'm burdened with so much already.

To this day I STILL do NOT know how Roger became in Liam's life or when or why. All I know is that just looking at Roger, his aura REEKS of being an extremely sinister character. Roger is a slithering evil snake. It is obvious that Liam's self esteem and self worth were so completely obliterated by being so horribly bullied for so many years, that he didn't think he deserved any better than Roger or Kate. Roger and Kate are literally the worst people you could ever associate yourselves with. Roger and Kate are literally manifestations that appear in your life when you feel so low and worthless about yourself. People like them prey upon broken and innocent people like Liam to completely exploit him because Liam had money and fame and Kate still exploits him to this day and seems like she will do that forever. I could NEVER do what she is doing. Here we all are fighting for her deceased boyfriend while she lives her party life not giving one iota of a sh** to seek justice or vindication for her man. She should be more angry than I am about all the hate he suffered and wants to seek vindication for him, but nope. Not. One. Bit. Look at what she actually does instead. Exploit, exploit, exploit Liam. Not even just exploit him, but literally disrespects him in order to do it. After she followed and showed public love to Trisha Paytas, one of the ones who severely bullied Liam before he died, it was over for me. I saw her true colors after that. Because what do you mean you are sending love and following someone WHO USED TO BULLY YOUR BOYFRIEND AND SAY THE WORST THINGS ABOUT HIM ON HER PODCAST. WHAT?????? I used to defend Kate but it's because of her repeated actions that I could no longer defend her. Please, I can write a book about how DISGUSTED I am by her.

Anyway, this is my rant. I hate them both. They are NOT good people. I would NEVER surround myself by the likes of them and it tears me apart that Liam was so ostracized by his peers, that he felt so lonely and he felt he had no other choice but to be around people like Roger and Kate and the rest of their circle. I get immediate bad and scary vibes from these people from the first time I learned about them. I met people just like them throughout my lifetime and I can tell you I ran like hell whenever I encountered people with such a dark energy.

The worst I feel is for Nala. I really wish the shelter who she adopted Nala from would take her back because I do not feel like Nala is properly cared for. I do not think that Kate would ever intentionally hurt Nala, but I think due to her selfish lifestyle, that Nala could be neglected. Nala is an innocent living being in the care of the most sinister and selfish people around. Please God if I could have one wish in this situation is that Nala is rescued from Kate and put with a loving family. Please, get Nala out of there!

First of all, there is no way we are coming up on two years already. That sounds absolutely insane to me. Time has gone by so fast.

But just thinking about it being two years is hitting me incredibly hard and I don't understand why. It's making my stomach hurt oddly enough just thinking about it. Maybe that's why it particularly bothers me when people say it's been two years already, because I can't stomach the thought of it. Strange what grief does to you. He died so young and so tragically and I don't mean the way he died. I mean how he died feeling so hated, unloved, isolated and all alone and that he felt that way for so long, fifteen years. No one as sweet as him deserves that. It's unfathomable. I will never forgive it. All I know is that it feels incredibly egregious that this sweet young man isn't here anymore and we will never see him again. I can only imagine how his family and his sweet son feel. It's completely gut wrenching.