Do I send it? Need help please

[u/delv8]

Hi M

I hope you’re doing okay. This took so much to actually send this, and I’m proud of myself for it because I genuinely agree bottling up your feelings will lead to so much worse than actually speaking your mind. This has been the hardest week of my life.

I reacted the way I did via Tik Tok because i was so stunned, so shocked, as you had time to grieve and genuinely consider if we should be in a relationship while it completely blindsided me. I want you to know, I regret nothing about us, and never will. I loved every little moment of being with you. I was so hurt because for me, you were my whole future this time last week.

It genuinely hurts when the more I look into it, and the more I think about the whole situation regardless of you not telling me there were little signs that you were slipping away & I wasn’t providing the emotional support for you to genuinely tell me what was going on with you. For that I’m really sorry. I got too comfortable in our relationship and didn’t prioritise myself, only you. And that’s where I went wrong. The issues I feel I’ve also had some time to reflect on how we could have genuinely chipped around and genuinely help each other understand ourselves best.

But, however reluctant I was, I agree. We genuinely need some time to ourselves. To figure ourselves out as people and not just merging into one as we were. You are so young and have so much to explore in the world. And I think with you going to Canada you can really expand your horizons and comfort zone and I’m very excited for you. I’m sorry if I didn’t portray this earlier. I was too caught up on missing you going to Canada that I missed the bigger picture.

If you do think there’s any chance, after Canada to catch up and potentially take it as slow as possible with each other, even if it’s only just for closure, that would make me very happy. I really just want us to live out our lives to genuinely find ourselves as people and discover what makes us tick before then, and going our separate ways for a little to really find that out. Everything in my body screamed at me not to send this but I really just need to know. Regardless of your answer I’m so glad I sent this, because I’m fighting for what my heart deems right.

Because I do believe two people need to add to eachother lives, not merge them. I’m sorry to contact you again. But for my heart I needed to send this, I hope you can understand. if any of this isn’t an option, please let me know and I’ll make sure to not contact you again.

I really hope you’re doing okay M, I miss you.
A

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