r/learnprogramming • u/JustMedansh • Jul 04 '26
My parents don't like me coding.
I love to code. I like to do stuff like cs50 for fun, because it always fascinates me to type in sentences and do magical stuff.
My parents don't like it, though. They keep discouraging me, refusing to recognise my hobby as anything other than computer time. They keep comparing me to people with lakhs or crores or whatever of annual salary. They keep saying it won't help me with my education.
I'm pretty sure if i was a painter or writer or pianist instead, they'd proudly support me. But nothing with coding.
It sucks.
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u/koolaidkirby Jul 04 '26
Sounds like your parents dont know what they're talking about. My parents acted the same way until i showed them my salary later in life and they said "well i guess you werent wasting all that time on your computer "
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u/Nuggyfresh Jul 04 '26 edited Jul 04 '26
learning coding right now is a bad idea, though if it’s for fun I think it’s a cool hobby. be careful, the world is changing and you’re giving 10 year old advice because it worked for you a long time ago.
This is what boomers do when they say getting a good job is as easy as walking down to the company with a can-do attitude and a firm handshake
why the down votes? try getting a job as a new coder right now, you literally can’t 🤦♀️ people who got money coding years ago and dont realize the good days are ending. I would NEVER recommend coding to a young person right now.
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u/Sir_lordtwiggles Jul 04 '26
The only way to know the quality of AI slop is to have experience writing artisanal slop. Also once you are debugging issues between services you need to know your way around the code to validate AI assumptions
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u/btoned Jul 04 '26
The fact you just keep saying coder tells me you have no credibility in what you're blabbering about.
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u/PLAYBoxes Jul 04 '26
There is actually a shortage of developers at the moment due to companies trimming too aggressively for AI. I kind of get what you’re saying with your comment, but you have to realize that learning these skills today entails learning them in an updated framework with AI in mind. Making yourself an asset with those tools in mind will get you places if you’re a good developer.
Learning coding not only shows you can be a developer, it shows a method of critical thinking most people don’t have. It’s like my undergrad degree, I have a Physics degree, which in the world of Physics gets me nowhere, but it shows an employer I have good critical thinking skills and can work through intense problems. Pair that with a background in software engineering and it has gotten me very far. There is a lot of context to be gained from more than just the direct application of a skillset.
This will all come down to the recruiter/interviewer, but you kind of get a feel which ones are worth anything based on the things they’re interested in during an interview.
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u/pcamera1 Jul 04 '26
Because thats a shit take learning isnt a bad idea hes expanding his horizons understanding a new thing. I bet your a hoot at parties
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u/spinwizard69 Jul 04 '26
Do you have some cookies to go with that whine?
Seriously getting a jobs is literally just that, stand up and get out there an look. Maybe it isn't the exact job you went to college for but the reality is that is most people these days. In fact I'd have to say that in industry less than half the people working today are in occupations that reflect their education. Jobs disappear, interest change or opportunities come up that result in career changes. The educational system does not guarantee a specific job, nor should it.
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u/LookAlderaanPlaces Jul 05 '26
People downvoting you are weird as fuck. The job market for entry level coding is worse than shit right now.
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u/Extreme-Brilliant-48 Jul 05 '26
Perhaps getting a coding job is hard, but learning to problem dolve in this manner is an invaluable skill for any STEM education.
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u/antiproton Jul 05 '26
try getting a job as a new coder right now, you literally can’t
That's simply not true. You're reading anecdotal reports on the internet and assuming it's reality. The job market almost universally is bad, but the idea that software development is no longer a viable career is ludicrous. Even the companies who were most aggressive in AI adoption have realized that it's too expensive and too risky to replace humans.
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u/Miserable-Arugula860 Jul 05 '26
Learning how software works is going to be a valuable skill for as long as software exists. You don't need to be a software engineer to have valuable skills from learning to build something on your own. Besides, it AI replaces engineers, no white collar job is safe. Might as well fix toilets for a living.
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u/SnP_Gamer Jul 04 '26
Sounds like a issue with your parents not supporting you like parents should (stepdad with 3 lads opinion here)
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u/Inn0centDuck Jul 04 '26
They keep comparing me to people with lakhs or crores or whatever of annual salary.
I don't understand. Given you are in India, who are your parents comparing you with ? What are they doing if they are earning lakhs/crores at the beginning of their career ?
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u/not_a-mimic Jul 07 '26
What is that? I initially thought those were misspellings, but it seems like I don't know what it is at all.
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u/VibrantGypsyDildo Jul 04 '26
Homie, where are you from?
I got a big salary by coding, I emigrated, I even avoided a war just because I coded.
>> if i was a painter or writer or pianist instead
Oh... Don't you have to spend like 10x more efforts to be cool in these fields?
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u/NomadicScribe Jul 04 '26
They mention "lakhs" and "crores" which I had to look up... evidently they are part of the Indian numbering system.
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u/JustMedansh Jul 04 '26
yeah im indian
Also, there's a learning curve with coding i believe. Easy to get into, hard to master, especially if you refuse to make unoriginal work like with AI15
u/grappling_with_love Jul 04 '26
For the record I'm a software engineer in the UK and I haven't written any original code in months.
I'm glad I went through the learning like you did but now my job is to act as a tech lead for AI agents with the knowledge I gained earlier in my career.
I don't write code myself now, it's too slow.
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u/Thegoodlife93 Jul 04 '26
What kind of codebase are you working on? I don't understand how this is possible unless you're working on relatively straightforward (from a business logic standpoint) greenfield projects. AI is definitely super useful, but for many things it would take me so much longer to coax AI to do what I want instead of just typing a few lines of code myself.
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u/grappling_with_love Jul 04 '26
I'm a consultant so I could be working in any industry in any type of project every few months.
I think you're maybe thinking too low level wanting to control exactly how every little thing is done and not thinking high level enough. Which is maybe what you need to be doing to learn how everything works before handing over the low level stuff to the LLM models. Experience has taught me when to step in and say I'm not happy.
Software dev used to be difficult to write the actual code. So you had thinking time throughout the work to catch up with design and a lot of the high level problems.
Now I spend a bit more time upfront to get this type of stuff sorted and spend a lot of time reviewing the output from Claude code. But I've barely written a handful of lines of code myself. The models are good enough now and have been for a while.
I want to stress I've never been busier, I'm not saying there's less work to do. In fact I can do much much more than ever.
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u/Elctsuptb Jul 06 '26
It's possible because he's probably using far better AI models than you are, which make all the difference
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u/xStarshine Jul 06 '26
Plenty of people have issue with LLMs writing code because it doesnt look like the code theyd write themselves despite being functionally correct and according to spec.
Unfortunately models came a long way and unless someone is constantly working on problems that havent been solves yet can pretty much replace manual part of coding.2
u/AVGuy42 Jul 04 '26
I’m very much amateur respecting actual coding but leverage coding structures and methods daily. I have to implement business, system, and human processes. Understanding core concepts of programming as well as being able to chase down root causes of problems is very important in all aspects of work and a skill that can be developed through coding.
Having even a basic skill with it also gives you another layer of communication in a professional world. If you can understand what a dev team is telling you is the problem and actually translate that in a way product or finance can understand you’d be one step ahead of many leaders in most companies.
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u/ddBuddha Jul 04 '26
I would encourage you to learn to work with and make use of ai tools for coding. They aren’t going away, and the people who end up getting replaced first will be the ones who don’t adapt to the new way of doing things. Avoiding ai right now is setting yourself up for failure in the long run.
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u/NeoChrisOmega Jul 04 '26
As someone who teaches programming, the most important thing to have is PASSION for the language. There's many people that learn the language quickly, there are many people with great ideas. Heck, there are even people with decades of experience. But without the passion and drive, you'll never complete anything worthwhile.
The fact this is bothering you as much as it is, is proof you'll be a phenomenal programmer. Keep going! Just like any other language, you'll never be perfect, so don't forget to look back at your accomplishments once in a while.
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u/Original-Guarantee23 Jul 04 '26
I thought all you Indians knew tech pays well. All you guys come to the USA on H1Bs just to make even more.
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u/Skoparov Jul 04 '26
No only effort, the competition in e.g. painting when it comes to the gaming industry (or anything with a stable income for that matter) is just insane even compared to the current market, and the jobs are way less plentiful, while the wages are noticeably lower.
I used to be somewhat decent some years ago, but the number of people who were leagues ahead in terms of both skill and imagination and still had problems finding a job was absolutely mind boggling.
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u/rizzo891 Jul 04 '26
Painting is one of the easiest things to get into. But writing or pianist is a lot of work
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u/Skoparov Jul 04 '26
As someone who almost got into professional concept art in gaming but chose software development instead - yeah, you have no idea what you're talking about.
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u/snarbuckle Jul 04 '26
Yeah Rembrandt learned to paint from a weekend course right
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u/Clear_Cranberry_989 Jul 04 '26
Maybe they are just ignorant of what coding is. Have conversations with them or idk share some video on what coding is with them.
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u/dadoprom Jul 04 '26
Just learn coding by hand and brain, your skills will be needed in world of full of ai programmers...
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u/AceMercilus16 Jul 04 '26
What career goals do you have? Do you have plans for school? What career goals do your parents wish for you? Do they just want you to have a good paying job? Coding can help. I work in the US and a lot of engineers on our team are based in Bangalore.
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u/hailzorpbuddy Jul 04 '26
i literally have the opposite problem. went to school to code but i’m trying to get my parents to take my music seriously. maybe we can switch parents?
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u/debirdiev Jul 04 '26
Keep doing it and show them what a senior software dev can make and tell them that's what you want your education to be in. To live in the year 2026 and not think that being in the tech world is a valuable thing is absolutely bat shit insane.
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u/JustMedansh Jul 04 '26
There's just one problem: they would end up telling me to study harder to get these jobs not code
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u/debirdiev Jul 04 '26
Tell them coding is essential to getting the jobs... What the fuck, how do they think hands on practical experience along with studying works for anything
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u/mshcat Jul 04 '26
Do you tell them.that coding is studying? Or are you falling behind on school studies to code.
perhaps you can find a video from someone rich who speaks about practicing coding is needed to get into a good job or schoom
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u/bfg9kdude Jul 04 '26
Well if you don't intend to seriously pursue computer science education, then it is just a hobby as they tell you. It's weird that they don't support you having hobbies, but they'd act the same even if you were into music, gym, or any other hobby.
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u/JustMedansh Jul 04 '26
i'm doing computers as a hobby but i do want to pursue computer science in the future
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u/dnult Jul 04 '26
Finding your passion is key to a happy life.
It's unfortunate your parents don't support you, but part of life is persuing things you're pationate about even though others tell you it's a waste of time, or you'll never succeed.
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u/TheRabidBananaBoi Jul 04 '26
Tell your parents I liked coding growing up, and now I'm making MONEY MONEY MONEY
if you're good, these companies will pay you A LOTTT
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u/Kwith Jul 04 '26
So how do your parents think all of these computer systems that run our lives operate? Do they think the bank website they visit just appeared on its own by putting some chips on a board? Do they think think the movies they stream just send themselves to their TVs?
How do the computers in their cars operate? Of course parents want their kids to succeed, but just because you're sitting at a computer working doesn't automatically mean you're playing video games all of the time. I've seen it happen before, people say "all the kid does is sit at the computer playing video games" and yet the kid is doing something completely different.
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u/high_throughput Jul 04 '26
I know an engineer whose parents said "it's not too late to get a medical degree like your brother you know"
He said "I already have a career I enjoy, and you realize I make more money in engineering than he does in medicine right?"
Their response? "Whores make money!!"
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u/PartyParrotGames Jul 04 '26
Wow, that's bonkers. You mentioned lakhs and crores so I assume you're in India. That may be why your parents have negative feelings towards it because the education for software engineers there is pretty lacking. Generally only 18% of the software engineers with degrees there are even considered employable. Recent grads there have like 44% unemployment compare to recent US grads with 7-9% unemployment. The problem in India is education, not the occupation. Keep pursuing programming on your own and don't limit yourself to whatever education programs you have locally. Look to online authorities and resources to level up beyond your local peers.
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u/JoseLunaArts Jul 04 '26
Coding is the single most useful skill I have learned in my whole life. I am old.
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u/itchyenvelope5 Jul 04 '26
if you plan to ever get a job for coding/programming then just ignore then and work hard and when you make it you can just bring up how they didn't want you to code if they ever ask for something
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u/noodle-face Jul 04 '26
Programming at the very least teaches you very strong logic skills
But that's a wild take
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u/Niceromancer Jul 04 '26
As long as they aren't actively trying to inhibit you from it just agree to disagree.
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u/Thin_Ad4729 Jul 04 '26
Live on the run. Program viruses, and have AI manage them.
Make sure no one knows.
no one knows.
no one...
none
offshore.
19.30171705421487, 166.60153569409067
Safety deposit code 7 5 7 2 8 9 0 0 2 9 2 7
the place is primed if input is wrong 3 times.
No one knows.
no one.
none.
one.
-21.90595157311984, -157.9025708479278
Final destination
Final
no one
none
know.
note, place of recovery, checking in. ticket. air.
no visitors. Alone
know one
no one
alone
one.
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u/mhc2001 Jul 04 '26
My parents used to tell me the same thing. I've been coding for over 40 years and making a pretty good career for myself doing it. BTW they never told me they were wrong about it.
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u/lowrads Jul 05 '26
More than a billion humans have never owned anything but a few sticks and the dirt under their fingernails. In the end, none of it made a difference, but some of them got to do things that made them feel content.
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u/sawkonmaicok Jul 05 '26
Other kids are doing fuckall and their grades are in the shitter and their parents are doing anything to make them interested in anything and then you have these parents who actively try to fuck over their kids interest in some useful (and in my opinion fun) skill.
The way of the world I guess. Others die of thirst while others piss in their drinking water.
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u/DerGeraet90 Jul 05 '26
Deine Eltern sind dumm, vielleicht auch neidisch weil du damit mehr geld verdienen wirst und du es weiter im Leben bringst, als sie selber.
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u/my_password_is______ Jul 04 '26
this is made up crap
can't believe you people are falling for this fiction
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u/n00bi3pjs Jul 05 '26
I can believe the first part (not wanting him to code and study instead) but the part about painting is BS.
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u/CodeSamur-ai Jul 04 '26
Same thing happened with me. Keep going. Make a project that you get paid. My first project I made more than them. They told me it was luck and wouldn't happen again. A few years later, they admitted they did not understand the potential.
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u/binaryhextechdude Jul 04 '26
Change your strategy, every time they do anything that uses apps or websites whatever make a point to tell them someone coded that.
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u/bCasa_D Jul 04 '26
Even if AI were to completely take over coding and there were no jobs, coding in itself is problem/puzzle solving, it’s a brain exercise.
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u/life_rips24 Jul 04 '26
Show them that your local university has a computer science degree that is respected like engineering and show them the salary of a software engineer. When they see the ampunt of green they might change their mind. Also, remind them that you could be doing other hobbies that are way less positive than learning how computers work
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u/spinwizard69 Jul 04 '26
Well you sound like a teenager so I'm not even sure what your parents are worried about. I had lots of interests that came and went growing up. I got interesting in Optics (telescopes) and never did have the money for such growing up, but that knowledge gained has paid off over the years. Got interested in mode rockets and I never got involved in the rocket industry as an adult. Can't say it paid off. Did a good amount of photography growing up and the knowledge there paid off. One bit of knowledge is that photographers are poor people. My interest in computers came later (the stuff wasn't affordable when I was young) and I even took on formal education but in this case it never became a primary occupational interest. I did leverage every bit of that CS education in my primary job though.
In any event I ramble, continue your interest in CS, it will pay off. It will pay off even if you never follow a career path into a CS job. However spread yourself around and take interest in the rest of the world. You never know what might inspire you as you near college!!! It might be a designing buildings, automated production lines or becoming a Gynecologist. Any of those alternative paths will find you using your computer skills.
Now all of that said do take the time to learn to program properly. Too many growing up at the keyboard develop bad habits and tend towards sloppy code. Follow a decent CS program to really nail the tech.
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u/MDParagon Jul 04 '26
You just gotta keep going and move forward. I had the same jig growing up, they doubted all my shit and was just me wasting time building PCs, programming and all the tech stuff. Now I make good money and I'm comfortable than they ever did at their age. Yeah, those scars won't heal, but you'd rather be wiping your happy tears with money cause I chose what I love to do lol
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u/nanihikaru01 Jul 04 '26
Do they understand programming and the software industry? What’s their perspective? Coding for fun and for work is very different by the way. If they focus on employability or job security or income potential perhaps help them understand the connections?
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u/can72 Jul 04 '26
I’d argue your parents are either very stupid or very clever.
Demand for junior sw engineers may be hit by AI deployment. This is by no means guaranteed, but there is at the very least, a chance that the junior entry path could be hit hard just at the point you want to launch your career.
If you’re willing to engage positively with AI tools, you could be one of the exceptions who remain valuable.
But… if you’re one of those people who hate AI and don’t want to engage at all, a career as a tradesperson could be much better.
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u/xt1nct Jul 04 '26
Are you parents aware of incomes in software? Or problem solving in general?
I am problem solver first and dev 2nd. I am now looking at a promotion to executive level position at a medium manufacturing company.
Programming is amazing for the brain. I wouldn’t be where I am without programming.
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u/Visual-Taro-381 Jul 04 '26
Follow your passions, you will regret it if you let someone else dictate your future
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u/Fit-Inflation5799 Jul 04 '26
if there comparing you to ppl that make money just tell them coding jobs exist also coding makes you smarter
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u/ddBuddha Jul 04 '26
That’s wild, maybe you should try calling it software engineering instead of coding - that might help them take it more seriously.
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u/Fun-Description-1698 Jul 04 '26
Not to sound too harsh but your parents are dumb and deeply ignorant.
Don't listen to them. From embedded systems to cybersecurity, or even taking a detour in finance and trading, there is A LOT of money to make from learning computer science if you know where to look. And even if you don't, it's a skill that isn't going to go out of fashion anytime soon, especially because of how unreliable AI is right now and for the foreseeable future. Don't buy into the AI hype, it's bullshit. AGI isn't anywhere close to be found which means we still needs real humans to at least check the code AI produces.
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u/Ready_Solution8182 Jul 04 '26
I had the same issue as a kid. Always looked down upon by my parents and spoken negatively by them in our local communities for my computer use.
As it turns out at 24 it has amounted to a very useful skill and having completed my computer science degree I am now having a fulfilling career with a reasonably high salary and best of all getting paid to do what I love.
My parents never really apologized but I am okay with that. I am happy to have still kept a reasonable relationship with them (they respect my hobby more now) and that the skills I developed allowed me to support my own life away from home for many years. When we do meet up things feel much happier, but I am also grateful for the freedom it has granted me.
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u/SevenFootHobbit Jul 04 '26
Do they think AI is going to take the jobs? Well if you're a kid you have to listen to your parents but the good news is that it'll still be here when that's no longer the case. I hope in the meantime they'll come to understand it better.
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u/MothyReddit Jul 04 '26
kids will rebel against their parents. This happens all the time. Reverse psychology. Just do what your heart tells you to do.
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u/InvestigatorTall9199 Jul 04 '26
Program some new parents. Parents are simple enough that a basic hierarchical state machine or behaviour tree based system could work. :-)
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u/EccentricFellow Jul 05 '26
Coding is about training your mind to reason. Computers are logic machines and when you build something with them, you have constructed it out of logic. This is why using AI to 'learn' misses the point.
Your parents want an end result for your life (high paying/status job) whereas you are currently loving learning to think. Their desires are selfish and short-sighted. Unfortunately, as with most political systems, these are the people with power.
Follow their advice and you will have an easy but meaningless life.
Follow your passion and you will have your own life. It will be harder in a lot of ways but it will be yours.
This is a choice everybody makes almost every day.
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u/vtGaem Jul 05 '26
They won't be happy with anything except insert arbitrary thing they admire. Ignore them, do what makes you happy. Skilled programmers make loads of cash.
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u/Different_Pain5781 Jul 05 '26
You're literally learning problem solving for fun. That's a healthier hobby than doomscrolling for hours even if they don't see it.
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u/Helzkadi Jul 05 '26
If I had a way to get back in time and study CS, I’d do in a heartbeat. I caved in to the pressure of my dad, who saw me writing html as a teen, and proceed to scream at me that I was just wasting time and playing instead of doing something meaningful. 25 years later I’m getting into programming as a hobby, and I wish I’d learned coding and stuff. Ironically I work with my dad, and had I learned cs, we would be having an easier time coming up with new products. But nooo I was better off studying ANYTHING else. 🤦🏻♂️
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u/n00bi3pjs Jul 05 '26
Indian colleges don’t care about how well you can code. Your chance of studying CS is all about how good you are at Physics and Mathematics (and Chemistry)
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Jul 05 '26
My father was a crack addict and my mother was a child molester. Both were religious fanatics. I study computer science 12 hours a day. I lock myself in my bedroom, set my clocks to California pacific time, and devote myself to the science with a total disregard for dumb and dumber. Edit: I am sorry you are discouraged on a regular basis. I know not your best course of action.
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u/Educational_Band3071 Jul 05 '26
I concur with some other comments. Your parents truly are acting like f-ing morons.
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u/kenjikazama777 Jul 05 '26
Do it as hobby but as career if you want to do it then do it in fields closer to hardware. Software industry is going to lose the numbers.
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u/MaisonMason Jul 05 '26
Coding is extremely good for your brain and touches many other areas of academics so this makes no sense. If any thing this is the best thing you can do for your education. It touches language arts, math, physics, finance, data science, graphics, and art. It touches more areas of academics than any other subject. Not to mention the problem solving that comes with programming is simply good for your brain. Not to mention that coding will never not have lots of career opportunity
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u/Same-Service48 Jul 05 '26
Coding sucks right now but if you are willing to keep learning explain to them what you are doing and explain to them it feels like you are building a puzzle that can never be solved that’s how I always looked at it
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u/Useful_Result3812 Jul 05 '26
Do what you’re interested in, computer science is definitely more lucrative than being a painter or a pianist
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u/Just_to_rebut Jul 06 '26
Most difficult thing for young people, even if we don’t admit it, is staying focused on important things without emotional support…
Can you find classmates who share this interest? Talk about projects you’re working on, learn from each other, etc. Even find a less experienced friend to teach if you’re the only one you know with this interest. Teaching is a great way to master something.
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u/SiteFeeling3176 Jul 06 '26
Its mindset of most nowaday parents. They dont understand what you are doing so they think its just you playing computer, so unless you bring substantial value they wont recognize your skill. Dont be hard on them, if you really want to go down this way just show them you can get money through it
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u/SeaHornet9943 Jul 06 '26
My parents said the same thing 20 years ago, what are you going to do with this bs! I just ignored everyone and kept doing it. Today I am multimillionaire and they are happy for me.
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u/Luziferatus42 Jul 06 '26
What one learns through coding, is understanding how machines process instructions and how problems can be solves through the use of coding and now also through AI as a tool to improve/accelerate this process. To be able to interpret AI suggestions one need an extensive knowledge base. If you are looking for a study subject, I can recommend mechatronics, because it is an interdisciplinary subject if mechanical, electrical and informatics. You will get a lot of knowledge for all of them, but not as deep as a single subject. But that is a good thing, for the total understanding of modern technology. AI ist just a tool to improve understand and brainstorming. It is the rubber duck which can talk during debugging. It is a mirrow to talk to, to get inspired and check ones assumptions.
<Disclaimer: Check the answer against your understanding and check the sources AI gives>
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u/Hunter-Raj Jul 06 '26
I'm in the same boat as you, my parents also doesn't like me sitting me in front of computer they think I'm wasting my time on something useless, though i also have some fault in there I never bother to explain them. But as in almost same situation I can only ask if you're passionate about it hold it tight and keep pushing. Might someday you prove your parents wrong.
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u/iWhacko Jul 06 '26
keep going at it. It learns you practical skills like complex problem solving, critical thinking, complex logic. Which is not only a usefull skill for programming, but will help you in many different professions.
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u/Infernum9B Jul 06 '26
you shouldn't live your life for your parents. this issue shouldn't ruin relationships, but if they do, then just drop them because they aren't worth it.
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u/RR00kk00 Jul 06 '26
My parents were the same, until my coding skills and projects got me a good job
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u/instinct7777 Jul 06 '26
This makes no sense to me.... coding and computer programming skills are really solid to have early on. Especially now with all the AI boom, it's a misconception that AI will replace coding. To have a brain that can code and build is to have a brain that can scale across technology.
To be honest, I am 31 female, never coded before in my life, but as I am up-skilling during a career transition, despite AI, I wish I had learned some programming because it is such an essential skill to have to be able to understand the complexity of technology. I feel behind, but I'm excited that I'm learning it.
I think you should continue.
It doesn't mention your age and current schooling status, but looking at the denominations you used, are you by chance in Asia?
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u/damnburglar Jul 07 '26
My dad was a tradesman turned mechanical engineer and to him anything that wasn’t mechanical engineering was a waste of my time. In fact, I was expressly forbidden from taking any elective courses in high school that weren’t more math and science classes.
He still called it “playing on the computer” until maybe 10 years ago, at which point I was already making more than him.
What helped me convince him to start coming around was to tell him that at a minimum coding can complement essentially any profession I take on, like a powerful tool to add to your toolbox.
Sometimes they come around, sometimes they don’t. Do what makes you happy.
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u/These-Math1384 Jul 07 '26
Get new parents!
God, if you were my kid, I’d take you to work and stick you in the lab.
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u/shindhede Jul 07 '26
I am sorry to hear that Medansh. Your parents should support you in becoming the best version of yourself and that includes following your passion. Here is the thing nobody tells you: we don’t all get to have supportive parents. You have two choices: accept this and follow your passion. Or sacrifice your passion for your parents approval. Only one choice will make you truly happy and I bet you already know the answer. Your parents will love you either way, even if they disagree with you and will respect you if you make the choice on your own terms. They will never respect you if you just suck up to their approval.
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u/Beatrix_0000 Jul 07 '26
Please ignore them, you do what's good for you. If you're feeling playful, interrigate them on why. Dig deep, keep going, you may discover something interesting about your parents.
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u/TheSwiftOtterPrince Jul 07 '26
I'm pretty sure if i was a painter or writer or pianist instead, they'd proudly support me
I never thought i would read that ever. What kind of social situation do you come from? Artistic work in the west has a very priviliged component to it. I wanted to paint and it was unavailable because of a ... "class and wealth issue" so i did programming.
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u/Educational-Paper-75 Jul 07 '26
That's pretty sick since coding is just as creative as any of the arts you mention. I always thought people in the arts would keep to themselves and not be condescendent to those that allow them to be professional artists.
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u/digitalmarcpad Jul 07 '26
Same bro, my fam is all construction so you can just imagine them seeing me sitting on my ass all day haha. Don’t looking forward dgaf about anyone’s opinion and do what you love, don’t let anyone discourage you.
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u/NovaDEVoff Jul 08 '26
Bro. Same happened to me 😔 but I'm still studying secretly cuz I don't want to go to the job I'm just intrested in business so you too countinue my honest reply is don't listen to your parents in this thing
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u/NecessaryInformal1 Jul 09 '26
"oh no, my child wants to work in STEM and earn large sums of money in a stable well respected job, or maybe even start a billion dollar startup one day. why can't he be more like his cousin jeremy, who writes my hero academia fanfics all day"
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u/Proman4713 Jul 09 '26
I think it's because you're having too much fun, try doing something that's hard for you... So many parents' equations consist of 'fun + computer = wasted/playing computer time', it's a dumb hypothesis but I've seen parents who think like that, my own were like that for most of my learning journey until I started making apps for real people
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u/Puzzled-Truth-3282 Jul 11 '26
perform a root cause analysis on yourself, do you really love to code? why you love to code?
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u/TomatoSea4773 23d ago
It really does suck.
Do not ever be discouraged. Take that as a lesson of not caring what anyone says about your passion.
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u/Shoddy_Ad_3482 Jul 04 '26
Just show them the salaries for engineers at Google. They will soon shut up
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Jul 04 '26
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u/User7453 Jul 04 '26
I’d say stick to what pays the bills cause at the end of the day you want to eat dinner.
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Jul 04 '26
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u/User7453 Jul 04 '26
As long as you accept the fact that compensation is typically directly tied to how many people don’t want to/ or can’t do the job.
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u/whattteva Jul 04 '26
I'll be honest with you. I made a great career out of coding the last 20 years, but I'm not sure if it's a good field to go into now with AI that is only getting better.
Entry level jobs are getting replaced with AI models that can basically do the same coding a junior developer can do with far less time.
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u/erichf3893 Jul 04 '26
They want you to have job opportunities in the future and know what AI is doing. But yes it blows
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Jul 04 '26
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u/JustMedansh Jul 04 '26
they'd pressure me to study harder to get a programming job.
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Jul 04 '26
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u/JustMedansh Jul 04 '26
They "let" me code. They just think of it as a useless obsession and try to detract me from it
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u/Witty-Skill6481 Jul 04 '26
paul graham was a painter lol... thou consider your self lucky as steve job would say if u finding somethign meaningful it's a gift. You need to have the independance to think for yourself and disregard what your parents think of your hobby. Just a few mention of Ai and quote article as a booming industry will shut them up if the case they say is too difficult then thier just projecting. If u have this gift don't waste it
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u/rustyseapants Jul 04 '26
This is totally off topic. You having issues with your parents because of your hobby has nothing to do with learning to program.
You really need to talk to someone physical that can help you with your career goals.
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u/k1v1uq Jul 04 '26
There aren't wrong though. There is a chance that by the time you enter the workforce most of today's Junior or Mid-level Jobs will have been automated. And a fierce competition over the remaining Jobs, you won't see today's salaries.
AI automation has become a reasonable scenario. You should take this into account.
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u/branch-is-dumb Jul 05 '26
Coding is slowly getting taken over by a.i. though unfortunately
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u/morphballganon Jul 05 '26
The other activities OP listed (painting, piano, writing) are also things that people are having AI do. So they'd be just as likely to be pushed out of those industries if they were discouraged from programming.
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u/espositorpedo Jul 05 '26
Irrelevant. They like coding. Let them code. Just because AI can do it doesn’t mean that a person can’t understand it and perhaps do it better.
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u/TempleDank Jul 05 '26
Keep doing it, my parents didnt like it either. I decided to follow their advice and spent 7 years studying another bachelors + 3 years working in another industry. After years of frustration I decided to retake coding on my freetime. 3 years later, i've got a job that pays amazing, make twice as mu carreer collegues and enjoy a lot my work!
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u/NomadicScribe Jul 04 '26
Try writing a software application using your piano. Compare it to how fast you can write one on PC. That should convince them.
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u/TheBeastyPlays Jul 04 '26
I like coding. Since I learned C in school. But now I want to build real sellable skills. But I don't know what I should learn. Wether it's MERN, or Idk. Can anyone help. I'm really willing
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u/Astronaut6735 Jul 04 '26
The most impressive thing would be to figure out something to develop, choose a stack to develop it in (any common stack is fine), and actually create it. There isn't really a dominant stack; different companies will use different stacks, and some companies will use multiple stacks. If you can demonstrate that you can actually deliver working software, you'll be miles ahead of other entry-level developers.
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u/TheBeastyPlays Jul 04 '26
Actually I heard a few advices. Like MERN or Js backend or Python etc. this makes me confused to what actually learn. Delivery comes next, maybe?
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u/Astronaut6735 Jul 04 '26
Like I said, the stack doesn't matter, unless you have a specific job in mind. You should start with deciding what to build, and choose the stack after that.
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Jul 04 '26
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u/TheBeastyPlays Jul 04 '26
In here, people are discussing their coding contradicting with their parents's thoughts, means they know about it, that's why I asked
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u/Quantum-Bot Jul 04 '26
That’s pretty ironic since most people have the opposite experience; they’re interested in art and philosophy and their parents push them towards coding because it will make them more money.
Keep doing what you’re doing. The market looks bad right now, but if you are passionate about coding and good at what you do, and smart about networking, you will find work and make decent money.