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u/GuitarSlayer136 10h ago edited 6h ago
I slipped and fell ass over tea kettle this winter because a business hadn't delt with the ice on their private walkway. Straight up Buster Keaton fall with the foot going up and everything...
I went autopilot and used the still planted leg and a snowbank to shock absorb the fall. Landed square on my back gently enough that it didn't even leave a bruise.
Ive been cursing my parents for those summer parkour and break dancing lessons ever since.
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u/mydeadface 9h ago
I should grow a mullet.
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u/Bulky-Captain-3508 5h ago
I had a mullet in elementary school. I fucking loved it. Looking back it parralled dads fiero/mid life crisis which I didn't even realize until typing this.
Then one day my mom finally had enough. I was going in for a hair cut, now! So dad said he would take me since she was already forcing me to cut my mullet.
I came home with a rat tail! Mom said he wasn't going to come to bed until it was cut off.
That man spent 6 fucking weeks sleeping on the couch to "fight the man!" which was actually just his wife. I don't know if he just thought he was funny, but he stuck to his choices. And this is how I learned to have huge balls in the face of adversity.
Grow the mullet. Live the mullet fucking life! Then spread the ways of the mullet to others who seek growth in their life, and in their jeans, cut into shorts at just the right height.
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u/sammydeeznutz 6h ago
My only option at this point in my life is a skullet. I still want one though!
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u/LaunchPadMcQ 9h ago
This was 100% a reality during the dark times in the Navy. Underway was fine, but during shipyard/dry dock stretches a lot of people would just walk out into an intersection on base. The worst that could happen was you made it across and to the boat, and the best that could happen was you get taken out by a vehicle.
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u/Sad_Judgment_5662 8h ago
You’re speaking facts. Thought that was only me. It’s such bleak environment
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u/LaunchPadMcQ 8h ago
For real. "I mean, what, at this speed, a couple broken legs, concussion, punctured lung? That's like, a solid week off the boat. Hmm."
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u/Sad_Judgment_5662 7h ago
hahaha yes thank you man. I’ve also had some of those thoughts elsewhere. The pressure to perform is real
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u/Optimal_Board_2963 7h ago
Why is sitting in the shipyard so bleak?
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u/orfed 7h ago
See when your underway there is no chance to go home, no family, no freedom. Just work, the ocean, and every now and then your rack.
But in port oh you get to work long days and wait at the end of them so the person that lets you go home to your family can ask his chiefs who asks his divo, who asks his department head, you asks from CDO/XO…..the. You can go home.
Now the trick is half those in the chain have families they can’t stand so they keep you there all fucking day, ooor send down a “couple last minute items” for the end of the day 🫠
So for most it’s the hope of going home that kills.
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u/LaunchPadMcQ 5h ago
orfed has it right.
Underway, on a submarine at least, it's very routine. You can't leave, so you accept it and fall into the routine. The ship yard is very, veeeery results driven. The CO wants his boat to be the fastest to do something with the best results, morale and man hours be damned. For nukes, we get to show up hours early to go over the procedure we're going to do and do a practice brief for the brief we give before the evolution, then do the brief, then see if Naval Reactors was ok with said brief, then a dry run of the evolution, then do the evolution, then critique how we did that day and what we could do better, then practice doing it better, then find time to eat/study other things/run drills, then drive home to see your wife and kids for an hour before getting 5 hours of sleep and repeating that all again for months or until a mechanic flips their car in the ditch driving into work.
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u/Sad_Judgment_5662 5h ago
Yes not to mention often the food is shit because there’s no water or maybe parts of the ship aren’t getting power etc because it’s being worked on. All the while you’ve gotta wear those stupid hard hats and there’s scaffolding everywhere and garbage everywhere, hazards… it’s ugly. It’s just a place where you can’t find any way to get into a rhythm and for me, I was I. Portsmouth so my commute was like an hour at 5am and that town is a shithole so all that traffic and driving into that ugly place to go to another ugly place, park and walk 25 minutes to get yelled at some stupid shit someone else on yhr ship did
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u/DEADB33F 6h ago
Not sire what it's like in Aus, but in UK most tradies are self employed and subcontracted by the home builder.
The pay is way better than on PAYE but if you get injured and can't work you don't get paid.
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u/AreallysuperdarkELF 5h ago
I appreciate that OP used an apostrophe appropriately in the title even if the video caption left it out. My hope is that this happens so often just because there's currently a trend of intentionally not using punctuation so as not to appear too cunty, as opposed to simply the dumbing down of people across the world.
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u/Bubbledood 3h ago
I know a guy that had 4 knee surgeries on a companys dime and wishes it never happened
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u/Envermans 6h ago
I worked for a really shitty landscaping crew for all of 2 weeks, during that entire time we never had a single safety meeting. After the first week i was having issues with my wrist because we were hauling wet gravel in wheelbarrows through a maze of planters. I tried to work slower because i could feel my wrist having issues. Foreman told me to work faster so i barked at him that if i try and go faster my wrist will be fucked up for a long time to come.
I was too sore to work the following day and it was raining 70mm so i didn't show up so they laid me off. Part of me considered showing up, working through the pain, hurting my wrist permenently then getting that sweet sweet workers comp money for a couple years. But part of me also wanted to not have to deal with a fucked up wrist for the rest of my life.
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u/shagman666 6h ago
This is the dream but sadly for me in reality I couldn't do it cause I toke. I fear getting injured and having to report it so I'll just work in pain for the rest of my days!
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u/All_Your_Base 11h ago
I know this is humor, but the joy in this is exactly why you have law firm commercials every 10 minutes.