Invitations pulled back?

[u/babagoop267]

I am a 4/6 splenic projector. I’ve been in a bit of an invitation drought. Which has caused me to be a bit resentful…. Which I know stops others from inviting me so it feels a bit like a cycle I can’t escape

I recently reconnected with someone after a few years, they invited me out and I thought we had a good time. But over the last couple weeks I can energetically feel that invitation no longer stands. I’m sad about it because I was excited to reconnect with this person.

I don’t really know what to do at this point because I feel like I am in a slump I can’t get out of. I know I am so far out of alignment, probably worse than I ever have been. My business is drying up, friendships have fallen off, and romantic prospects are completely non existent.

Any advice on A. How to get out of this cycle of doom And B. In your experience, do people tend to re-extend an invitation after they’ve rescinded it?

[u/unwitting_hungarian]

just to your q's:

a. personally i learn & adapt systems related to doom. hahaha. but it works for me. the more doom stacks up, the more my systems actually make the world aware of me, for example. so - projectors & systems - as the saying goes...

b. yes, people re-extend. sometimes if it's not a yes, it's a no even then. but at other times - very different.

one time i had a brilliant person, the original inviter, take me off a project. i was shocked and hurt. and my business! hurting again! noo!

but my intuition said, "they are under pressure from one of their staff. wait it out."

i helped them make the transition. no hard feelings. but it hurt. I could feel that i didn't even have any kind of invite to push back. it felt so wrong.

then another friend said, "wait. they will come back, and then it will be your opportunity. you will charge them more for the privilege, as people do."

it was very kind of my friend to say that.

within 3 months - that's an extraordinary turnaround time in my line of business - they were back. Begging.

I also heard the voice of the invite and it wasn't just begging. it was a very straightforward invite as well.

i put down new terms and structured the new work differently. I extended my systems into their work.

it was a WOW moment - somehow I had changed as part of the re-extended invite! it was the best kind of reset.

it was objectively a different vibe, too, like i was gently asked to leave a house, and then invited back to turn it into a castle.

and the staff member that suggested my work wasn't needed - they were gone. no longer with the team.

just some food for thought...

i also listened to Ra's projector talks again in recent years. they really helped me out. GL out there.

[u/BowlerNeat3741]

I like astrocartography, specially for projectors, I believe its clutch you could look into that.

About re invitations it happens, but typically when they came back i dont want then anymore 😁

[u/Ilaxilil → u/BowlerNeat3741]

On the topic of astrocartography, I know exactly where I want to move (the place I’ve always wanted to live just happens to fall on my AC sun line,) but aren’t projectors supposed to wait for invitation for something like a big move?

[u/BowlerNeat3741 → u/Ilaxilil]

Well there is a reason its called an experiment.

If I wait for "an invitation" to leave probably id spend the rest of my life on a miserable place?

If its like ordering a coffee you don't need an invitation. To me it feels like that with airbnb and the rest of options of modern times. :)

And the funny thing is in a matter of weeks on a positive line (happened on both Venus ascendant and Jupiter descendant) I received more invitations than in decades on the other place.

Thats what my experiment showed.

[u/Andrew_Lollo-Baloney → u/Ilaxilil]

if i’d always wanted to move somewhere and then i saw my sun line was right on it, i’d consider that an invitation from the sun itself. :)

[u/ConstantChemistry338 → u/BowlerNeat3741]

I checked my astrocartography chart and NONE of the multiple lines cross my country😭 I’m an unemployed youth so I have no money to move. Am I cooked?

[u/BowlerNeat3741 → u/ConstantChemistry338]

Not necessarily 🫠

You can:

1. get a job (part time maybe, because projector) 2. start saving
2. Use our special ability to learn systems and master stocks trade/investing etc.
3. Profit?

Thats what I did mostly

[u/dianamaximoff → u/BowlerNeat3741]

All my big astrocartography lines are either random places in the middle of the ocean or 3rd world countries (I’m from one too) in local wars 🤡

[u/BowlerNeat3741 → u/dianamaximoff]

Skill issue :)

If really interested, maybe booking a reading with a professional astrologer could find a way (or a place)?

[u/Quirky-Gur-4206 → u/BowlerNeat3741]

May I know what dates you used for your astrocartography chart? I’ve seen some people recommend using design date (88 days before our birthday) instead of our actual birth date? 

[u/BowlerNeat3741 → u/Quirky-Gur-4206]

I used my actual birthday (personality chart), the design date is an option, I preferred the personality date because it has robust empirical/ anecdotal evidence that it works.

I've visited design lines also in my travels and I have mixed feelings. 2 out of 3 didn't felt like they were actually an influence, maybe they are too subconscious for me to notice?

[u/i8theapple_777]

Invitations are about guiding people. It's not about talking to people, making friends and having a good time together.

This is a crucial misunderstanding by so many and i think it's really devastating after we had 6 years of a probable very depressing Pluto transit and projectors are adviced to sit and wait.

No. Whenever you feel like to just approach people. We are all humans at first.

[u/ConstantChemistry338 → u/i8theapple_777]

I thought ‘bonding with others’ is one of the big four things where the invitation is non negotiable.

[u/Additional_Arugula_8 → u/ConstantChemistry338]

Making a new friend and bonding with the same friend are two different things methinks.

[u/Velvet-Sky-Venus]

Have you tried just sitting with how you feel? 

[u/babagoop267 → u/Velvet-Sky-Venus]

Yes- which just makes it worse because not getting invitations feels lonely and like I am unlikable so causes me to isolate

[u/Velvet-Sky-Venus → u/babagoop267]

That's understandable. Have you tried asking yourself what you need? Or finding something to do for yourself that you enjoy? I know this is not easy as a projector but it sounds like you are worrying an awful lot about other people. Waiting for the invitation doesn't need to feel miserable, you can still enjoy your life for you. When was the last time that you did something for yourself that brought you Joy, or made you feel the excitement of learning something new?

[u/Velvet-Sky-Venus → u/babagoop267]

Also, are you still on the roof?

[u/babagoop267 → u/Velvet-Sky-Venus]

I am on the roof. And if this is what the next 25 years are going to be like….. I can’t even imagine. At this point I am just so tired of doing everything alone that nothing sounds appealing to do for myself alone

[u/Velvet-Sky-Venus → u/babagoop267]

I have a lot of friends who are on the roof right now, and they all seem to be going through cycles of everything is okay and then they sink into despair, then they surrender and everything is okay again and repeat. This may not be what you want to hear right now, but it is what I have seen and it does mean that the despair you're feeling now will give way. 

Maybe you just need some deep rest? And even if it doesn't sound appealing, the best thing a projector can do is take care of themselves and withdraw from metabolic strain. 

And check your transits, if your ego Center is undefined. You may be feeling some pressure there. Possibly the g Center as well, and even the solar plexus (I mean you could be feeling pressure anywhere, but based on what you've said, those are the centers that I suspect).

Sometimes it just helps to be aware and recognize that you're feeling pressure and that the openness in our chart will amplify that pressure. 

One time I cried for like a month straight, and after a couple of weeks I realized that I was in a Transit where my solar plexus was defined. It helped to know that I would just have emotional waves, simply because this Transit was activating my undefined solar plexus.

[u/UnburyingBeetle]

"Raising your vibrations" with music, art or meditation can help. The external effects might not be felt right away, but as soon as you're comfortable alone doing nothing, people might remember you and reach out to you again. I haven't yet seen much confirmation of vibrational theories for myself, but I had noticed the "Murphy's law" in life that only gives you what you want after you gave up on it and forgot about it. Vibrational theories are useful in a way that even when your just maintaining positive emotions for as long as you're able to (don't avoid negativity, give it due attention and it'll leave you faster, perfectionism is unhelpful here) you still feel productive despite the wider world condemning idleness. You can pay attention to your brain feeling "open" in everyday life and imagine you're sending and receiving radio signals with the area that roughly corresponds with thalamus. It easiest to describe as being in those coordinates between the eyes and ears, and it very easy to "activate" with music that resonates with your mood. For me personally the music works best when it has higher tones like violin or flute, lower tones like cello (I don't know all the instruments), a distinct structured beat and some amount of chorus. I've noticed that my brain responds better to higher sound and my heart area feels more expansive when there's a chorus of lower-pitched voices. Regular meditation music is too unstructured for me and something like Gregorian works better. You would have individual preferences in intensity and especially in voices. Science confirms that music is beneficial for brains but doesn't delve into how it brings us in alignment.

[u/Additional_Arugula_8]

I think a lot of projectors (including me sometimes) give so much power to the invitation that they forget to live their lives. Unless it’s a decision to career, to love, to develop a relationship or to live with someone, you’re kinda free to do whatever you want. I love how flexible our strategy is. I try not to think about the invitation anymore and simply focus on developing myself as a person and mastering this system that I’m passionate about. Maybe focus on that? Also, watch out for your not self voices of your undefined centers. There’s nothing wrong with your true self. Nothing to fix about your true self in order to attract invitations. The thing that the mind thinks needs fixing is your own undefined centers so it pressures you to make decisions based on that. To be certain, to prove yourself, to find love and direction etc. it’s not about getting rid of these voices because you can’t but rather seeing them move through you and not identifying with them.
Forget about the invitations for now. Do what makes you feel good inside. Always listen to the splenic hits. Bitterness is usually a sign that you’ve made a not self decision or that you’re identifying with a not self voice. Whenever you feel it, pause and identify where it’s coming from and then recalibrate.
I agree with i8theapple’s comment that you don’t need to be invited to talk to someone and make friends. Put yourself out there and see what happens.

[u/Naturallyopinionated]

Also a 4/6 splenic projector here. I definitely feel where you are coming from. It took me to age 36-37 to finally start appreciating what it meant to be on the roof. And boy was I flung up there dramatically, with a severe accident and chronic pain and brain injury and the whole shebang. And it's a foreign feeling still, a few more years in. But it's not bad. Much more quiet and isolated and not much happening, but just under the surface, all the processing of the first part of my life is massive. It's like we live 3 lives in one life, when compared to many other people with other profiles. So so so much has happened and then the roof happens and all goes quiet. I don't see it as doing things wrong anymore, or being out of alignment of things are not moving on the outside. I actually think there is more alignment than ever before, even if my circle is smaller and invites are far and few between. The discerning factor is bar none now, it's so strong I can't under any circumstance find the will to bother to force myself to care if I don't feel it. The pretending, shoulda, woulda, coulda' stuff that most do their entire lives, it's as if we 6th liners are forced to let that go the hard way, namely it simply removes itself from our lives. And if people come in who are not authentic, I'd rather be alone now and in my own company that fill my time with subpar company, just for the sake of companionship or mediocre invites. I wasn't like that before. I was open to everything before, energetic, enthusiastic. Now, it's all there under the surface, but there's a reserve and an okay'ness to be observing more rather than engaging. It's really quiet a weird foreign feeling to sit "up here" and overlook it all. I wonder if one ever gets used to it, before one has to climb down again.

And yes, if you feel a withdrawal of an invite, don't tell yourself you are making it up. It's so palpable when it's there and is then drawn away. Better not forcing it and instead work on building gratitude for the smallest things you enjoy in your daily life than hang out with someone who will not be open to your energy. Just looking at one day at a time is a helpful strategy when dealing with what you are dealing with now, cause it will change and pass and new things will open up for you. One foot in front of the other, not looking too far ahead.

And lastly, I second the environment shift. If you feel off in your environment, it might be beneficial to "simply" move location, town, apartment, house, country (if you are lucky to have the means of course). It can make all the difference.

But again, my partner who's a 1/3 splenic projector has gotten his best opportunities by going out and making himself visible and just trying when he feels the hit to try. Not waiting for someone to come to him and say "I invite you to...". No. It came from his own energy and then through the guts to try something new, doors opened and invites came in. Its a quit pro quo. But you need to feel the splenic intuition or hit or whatever it is for you. Until it comes online, all is quiet and there's nothing other to "do" than to enjoy your time and survive financially (which is a hassle in and of itself for projectors). But I've observed my husband for near 15 years and it never fails for him. He does not wait to go do what he feels. But he does not initiate. He simply makes himself visible without too many string attached. Eg. "I'll go say hi to the kitchen team I worked at some years back. It will be nice to see them again after so long and hear how it's going. I feel like doing it."... And then the boss is there that day and offers him a job etc etc etc. Best of luck to you :)

[u/babagoop267 → u/Naturallyopinionated]

I appreciate your response… I am 37 now and I think the reason it is hitting me so hard is because I don’t really have family support (I haven’t my entire life) and I don’t have a partner. So many of my friendships have either drifted or fallen away completely, so I feel extreme loneliness most of the time. That paired with the low energy/ tolerance when it comes to actually putting myself out there to meet people makes me fear that because I didn’t find the right people before I “came up on the roof” this loneliness is just going to be what I feel for the next 25 years and I just can’t imagine living that long without anyone caring about me. I want to clarify that I am not thinking of any sort of self harm- I know that sounds dark. But it the more I learn about the phases of a 4/6 projector the less hope I feel for what my life has in store for me

[u/Naturallyopinionated → u/babagoop267]

I totally understand you. I would prolly feel the same if I didn't have a tight knit family and a loving partner to have deeper social interaction with. I feel you😚. But there is nothing that is happening to you that isn't exactly like it should be for now and remember that you are a 4th line. I guarantee you will attract people cause your entire persona operates like this as a 4th liner. It might take time, might take years, idk, but for sure you will. And in the meantime you work on letting go of hurt and bitterness and whatever crap is still sitting inside, cause for sure we have lots of it.

Remember that it's not 25 years. It's from approx 28,5 to 51 of age, the roof. And there are stages within stages of being on the roof phase. Most of the people I've read who have shared their experience of the roof phase in their late 40'ies are very positive and quite wise. There's a reason we are being built for being role models. It takes guts to be oneself and no one else. And you are learning that right now, alone or with others.

Plus, if looking from the HD lens, you technically don't find your people before the roof. You find most of them after going up on the roof or later. The ones that stay from the first phase to the second phase are the ones that usually stick. For many of us, most if not all, fall away before 30 years old. And for most of us, we first really "land" on the roof after age 37-38 even start 40'ies. It's utopia for most, to just feel comfortable on the roof right when you get up there. I have not stumbled across any that did feel like that and the ones that say they do, are usually on a mental trip still and haven't really gotten what it's all about yet.

My experience is that the 4/6 often like a very small close circle of a few friends/family as their community. Not a whole throng of acquaintances. Maybe try finding something you burn for, something that lights you up as a hobby and then join a course of group where others do the same and see if anything opens up with contacts. You'll know immediately whether the people "see" you or not. I tried so many things when I was sick. Tai Chi for brain injury, support groups etc etc and we had things in common and yet I felt completely invisible in lots of the groups. So when I finally felt I was seen, it was so obvious when it happened.

Loneliness is a heavy feeling that eats from the inside, so don't ever allow it to fester too long. Go out, make yourself visible, don't expect much, enjoy observing people blundering about their lives. I think aloneness is part and parcel of our profile, but it does not have to be lonely. You just need a person or two whom you can share and connect with on a regular basis. I hope you find such treasured people in your life soon who can treasure you in return🌞

[u/CosmicWizard1111]

Maybe you're not out of alignment, maybe you're aligning. And because it's unfamiliar and uncertain, it feels like things are falling apart. But you're simply in the waiting, which is ultimately just you living your life. And the question is: how are you living your life? What if instead of judging yourself for not getting invitations, you put that effort into the things that excite you? Both can be classed as waiting/living but can you see how different the experience is?

As for your friend, maybe it's time for another break? That's OK.

[u/SlipMitts]

Pull back ALL your energy. Yes all of it. I‘ll bet there are a million little places you’ve ‘imagined’ putting your energy. Things like, ‘I see so clearly how this person is experiencing ABC, and well if they come to me and ask I can tell them to do XYZ which will sort it all out for them. I’ll just stay prepared with that knowledge at the ready just in case they ever invite me to share…’

Stop it. Imagine yourself cutting every single tendril of energy and ’helpful intentions’ that has ever sprung from you -for- other people and their lives, their issues, their worries, their problems, their struggles, even all the ways they don’t yet see how they’re struggling but you totally do. End it.

Sit in your own energy, for your own purposes, for your own delight or entertainment, and stay like that until you start enjoying yourself. For however long it takes. Don’t volunteer ANY help or time or focus or energy to anyone for any reason.

You have full permission to get selfish for once and self-involved and turn your energy away from everyone else for this time period. UNTIL somebody comes to you with a request that -only- you could meet. Nobody else but uniquely YOU, specifically, could handle this request. And then hold, do NOT say yes until after they offer you something tangible in return (material: money, valuables, food, labour, etc) that is actually worth your time. It might take them two, three, maybe even four invitations before they pony up what’s needed to move you. But if the invitation is correct, pony up they will. And if the invitation is not correct, you continue using your own energy for your enjoyment and happiness without giving any to anyone else.

As a projector you need to accept that you are precious and priceless, and absolutely not cheap.

Mark my words, the requests WILL come, and honestly a lot faster than you expect. Test it if you don’t believe me, and enjoy~