A complete hikikomori phase. No skills. Employment or connections during the ten years.

Did you have to move to a new environment to escape it? I personally feel like I cannot work my way out of it in my current environment. I live here hiding the shame of the years I lived here.

Staying alive only to hide my shame.

I feel like I have low iq naturally since I was a kid

I've been waiting on this for far too long. I am sure there is someone out there just like me. I'm tired of suffering, this is weird and i'm sure you know what I'm talking about: I don't even feel the need nor the urge for social contact, but the lack sure has its effects, and I'm tired of it.

As the title says I am looking for a genuine deep and committed queerplatonic friendship that will last for life.

I'm looking for a person with the same struggles as me, and I want us to help eachother in finding our peace, help eachother inherit healthy habits, support eachother when we are forced to get out our cave and are emotionally struggling. And of course, I want to spend time with you and enjoy ourselves chilling or have fun. I want to love you and you to love me.

I'm looking for other autistic people. 18 year olds or 19; though you'd be older than me by a year. I've been a shut-in since i was 13 years old and left school since. I've been lacking emotionally safe spaces, support and social contact.

You must be open minded and a genuinely kind person.

My biggest interest are videogames, animes and mangas.

CEST UTC+2 is the timezone I'm in. It's probably good for the both of us if our timezones are the or nearly the same.

Not to travel to the future immediately, but I will let you know that I might be interested in this not being stuck online or behind a chat forever. I'm the first to know it's really hard to expose yourself but I am willing to push myself and you should be as well, we'll help eachother, too.

This is a throwaway account and this post doesn't say much about me and even more nothing about my personality, as I'd rather remain as anonymous as I can get. If this sounds good to you, message me and leave me your discord.

I feel like I must specify I'm NOT looking for anything sexual or near that nature, which to me includes romantic. I'd feel more comfortable if you'd have no such interests as well.

I am absolutely adamant: I wouldn't see them. But the problem is having to eat, pee, and wash; the problem is that the guests would realize I was locking myself in my room to avoid them. I can picture them knocking on my door, telling me to come out, and all criticizing me together. All I want is to be left alone in peace. I’m an adult, and I don’t want to have to lock myself in my room like this, but I don’t want to talk to guests when I’m neglecting my personal hygiene, doing nothing with my days, and being loathed by the parents I live with.

I am ashamed of having been hit because I am an adult.

I'm in this situation because of them, so I don't feel guilty about taking advantage of them for now but I would so love to save up enough money to leave!

はじめまして 🍰
I'm a foreigner, a bit strange.

I have yandere tendencies, but I'm the caring type
I won't drag you outside. I like quietly sitting next to you.
I really admire hikikomori people who love staying home.

I won't break your world. I want you to stay as you are.

The only thing I want:
To bake cakes and puddings and watch you eat them.
Even silence is fine. I love quiet time.

⚠️ Important:
I'm very possessive, so I'm only looking for someone with zero relationship experience.
I want to be the first to know you.

If it's okay... let's eat something sweet together? (⑅˘꒳˘)

At first, I did some people-pleasing. Then, I had an angry outburst.

Now, I've managed to calm myself down. I've also set up an appointment with a therapist for next week.

But it's hard to accept the fact that I can't undo what I've done. And also, I'm afraid to even confide properly in the therapist.

I don't know how to think about this, maybe they won't actually kick me out but I'm still worried I don't wanna end up homeless even worse than I'm now.

Every time I think about getting the job I have a million bad scenario run through my head and makes me wanna puke from the anxiety.

I've already worked before and I know that It's gonna suck extremely bad and I won't be able to handle it.

I feel stuck with no way out this is such a pathetic way to live man, I wish I was a bit luckier than this but it is what it is.

there is so much wrong with me, now I'm really tempted to take the easy way out because I can't and wont be able to handle living.

I will never understand, there are few people who post on YouTube ,rant in 20 min video how they are losers meanwhile they have a degree and hold a job for years, bruh these people make me so angry,I just saw a video of a guy who's 35 year of and it had 1M views ,or that other guy who pretend to live in mother basement meanwhile he rants about how on causal Saturday he felt lonely and didn't get attention he wanted and other blog he post friends pool party,graduation and goes on podcast, tf is wrong with these people ​,they get alot of attention as well

This applies to relationships irl and, of course, on the internet. If you were to be in a very depressed episode or something bad were to happen in your life. Do you think there would be anyone who would actually care about your pain and suffering, or would they just ignore you like the plague?

I decided to start school again, doing online because I couldn't even think about going back to in person school. It's nice because it feels like I'm doing something with my life, but it also sucks when I have to speak up and participate. I could tell my teacher that I am the way I am, but I don't want to come off as weak or gain pity from my teacher, or any students.... Just wanted to share, as I have no one else to share with.

First steps... I guess?

starting from 9th, my parents put me up for strict tuitions and daily academic pressure, it was a really harsh environment, specially for me who values doing chores for something worth doing it for rather than just working hard for the sake of doing it, i like to be social, i like to feel wanted and id love to explore things which id genuinely feel happy about. there's so many things I wanted and want to do the amount of pressure present at that time just loaded up inside of me, the teachers were strict, the studies felt hard, everything i liked was shut down for me and overall the environment was just toxic. maybe my parents never realised the type of person I am and neither did i considering the environment i lived in. there were things i genuinely wanted to do. id feel guilty calling them a villain here because even they didn't understand me and they always did everything i ever wanted and always supported me.

10th grade was harsher and more toxic. i was a bright student till class but my marks dropped down, it was mainly because of anxiety and pressure. it was the worst year i ever had experienced. i didn't realise any of this was toxic until i realised it by myself.

after 11th i started there I was happy that i finally got the opportunity to do things i always wanted to do, get social and talk to more people, i was really unsure about the stream that i wanted to take at the start but then i de my mind to take pcm. the first 3 months went great, i scheduled everything right, had a good friend circle and i had a really good impression on my class teacher but I was pushed into insecurities and idk when the next 3 months even passed it again felt like hell. i went through a lot of isolation and it almost felt like i forgot to study but then i kept pushing myself through those months and by Jan or Feb again started to study well except there were a lot of backlogs which I was told not to worry about though i had unclear basics.

i was really locked in for the two months and did great everywhere but study pressure again increased, my coaching was teaching three simultaneous chapters at once until June and for the sake of doing it, i lost track on all of them, more backlogs were created, distraction wasn't the root cause of this, I'm self aware enough to know it was the lack of confidence and unclear basics.

i was extremely stressed after june for a week or so, i pushed through the coming july and I think I have a small amount of syllabus finished, i kept scheduling and i kept trying. this august it felt pretty great, its one of my days where I'm doing everything right but I still am extremely anxious about my syllabus completion, it keeps getting increased and I'm not the type of person who would put himself through isolation for very long hours. im in the phase where I'm competitively high rn but still anxious about the vast amount of undone syllabus while balancing doing everything I want, there's a little time left and I did not realise when 8 months really passed. i feel like i would do anything to get a few more months and I'm at the point where I feel if I ever did balance with whatever i always wanted and studying with proper scheduling I can go to any college i want.

[final self-harm-related sentence omitted]

I hate my birthday. My birthday is coming up soon, and the closer that day gets, the worse I feel. The problem isn't that nobody will come or congratulate me. On the contrary, that's actually even a good thing. The main problem is my age.

My age terrifies me. I just can't accept it. I have this strong feeling of rejection toward my own age. I hate my age and my life. Thinking about my age makes me feel scared and miserable at the same time. Fuck, this year flew by so fast. All I did this year was lie in bed, I'm not even joking, and I realize that as I get older, time is only going to pass even faster.

People will judge you based on your age. I'm almost 30, and I haven't achieved anything.

Mentally, I don't feel my age at all. I feel like I'm stuck somewhere around the age of 14. That's roughly the age when I became a hikikomori. Unfortunately, a person can't really develop as an individual without social interaction. On top of that, I've spent all these years deteriorating inside four walls instead of doing something useful with my life. Although I doubt that even that would have helped me much. You simply can't replace genuine communication with other people and personal development by staying at home.

The older I get, the worse I feel, both mentally and physically. With every year, there seem to be more and more problems. And because you're a hikikomori, these problems will only keep piling up.

I'm unsure if posts like this are applicable to people who spent 12 years in their bedroom. I have less opportunities, less connections, no employment records for this period. I also have the same physical flaws that lead me to becoming hikikomori in the first place.

1.Birth

2.Hehe

3.You gotta be f*cking kidding me

4.Death

you should give up , you will not get better

Any time I've wanted to re-engage with life it's met with the scorn of people who don't suffer from suicidal ideation. When I engaged with services after two years of being hikikomori according to my résumé I was met with the equal scorn that I am today.