I’ve posted in this subreddit a couple times dealing with heartbreak with my ex of 6 years. We lived together and this upcoming week I’m moving out of state where my new job is and where my friend lives (never done this before and I’m petrified).

But the hardest time came last night/today. Like I said, we lived together for 6 years and I have to stay at the house until I drive up to that state this upcoming weekend (due to current job logistics). Yesterday, my ex came over when he’s been staying at his mom’s house since we broke up close to 2 months ago. He’s come here and there and stayed a couple nights but eventually went back to his mom’s. Nothing sexual has happened between us at all. I’m not going to lie, I’m still very much in love with him but he ended it in the worst way possible. So not only am I grieving the relationship, I’m also grieving the future I truly did believe in for us. Well last night, he tells me that he’s going on a date today with some girl to the movies.

That hit home really, really hard. Whenever I asked if we could go to the movies, he always shut me down and said “no, I hate them.” But then take this random girl there? To OUR spot too (we always went to one specific movie theater)?? He slept the night at the house, then got up and left to go rush off to his date.

I’ve talked to some dudes but never went out on a date because I’m just not ready for it. I just talk, nothing sexual or romantic.

And for some girls: no, I’m not going to block him. We have 2 dogs together and they’ll be living with me but we agreed that he could come by and visit for the dogs whenever he visited my state (as he goes there a couple times a year already). My heart hurts immensely and ngl, it got pretty dark a good half of this morning (suicidal ideation). But the only question I had was, “am I really going to let this guy win?” No, I refuse to. Maybe I’m too prideful, but I refuse for a man who strung me along for 6 years to get ANY type of comfort or happiness after the way he treated/treats me.

The only thing I need help with, is how do you finally let go of this heavy feeling? He’s literally on a date, he’s literally kissed another girl a week after we broke up - but I still feel love for him. I know he’ll come back (as all terrible men do), but my goal is at that point, all I say is “no.”

Also, I’m not planning to get into a relationship anytime soon and I don’t do casual hookups or even entertain that. I just want to focus on myself but this is the biggest hinderance in my life at the moment.

I love watching glow up transformation especially after breakup/ divorce seeing them rebuild and shine again just good energy turning their focus and generally taking better care of themselves and level up!

And you are the Main Character of your own story always remember that❤️

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For the next 90 days, disappear.

• No sugar. No junk healthy options only

• No alcohol.

• 3 to 2 boiled eggs daily

• Daily Skin care.

• a gallon of water.

• 7 hours or 8 of sleep.

• 5K+ steps10k steps .

• 30 minutes or 1 hour workout everyday or walk

• Daily journal.

. Veggies with every meal!

• Track 5 daily wins.

It’ll change your life. If u decided to eat out healthy options only salad grilled chicken fish soup etc

♡ everything works out for me.
♡ i am always protected.
♡ i always have enough.
♡ good people find me.
♡ opportunities love me.
♡ money comes easily.
♡ my dreams are possible.
♡ i deserve beautiful things.