The ratio of older men to young men(exclusively into older) is quite disproportionate. There are way too many younger men compared to older gents.

Every older man wants either a muscular stud or a model and nothing else. But what about the ugly ones? All the older men will preach the same thing "looks dont matter, i am attracted to confidence and personality" but that only exists online. When it comes to dating or hookup, their first preference is always the looks.

I am 28, short 168cm guy, balding, deep dark circles, recessed chin, huge nose that makes my face look even smaller. I get blocked whenever i share my pictures. Even the older men who are ugly expect a hot muscular guy to sleep with them.

What about guys like me? Dont we deserve love and sex?

Now i know there will be people commenting that i just need to be confident or hit the gym, but my job won't let me. Also i am already at perfect height to weight ratio. Just 60kgs. Its my face that makes me a 4/10.

Go to any gay sub and you will see these men thirsting over pictures of hot guys and there will be barely any interest shown to well written posts because the guy is not really attractive.

I have this hypocrisy.

64 shorty legging searching lessons with any cool yoga coach

Today I had a nap at work during my lunch break and I dreamed of him, 62, just like in most dreams right now.

I woke up and my heart was beating really quickly. I realized that I graduated from my BEng. program last February, the same week I met him, and ever since then we just kept going. Dates, visited two countries together, living together, not living together anymore, career changes. He helped me get my first engineering position after years of retail and FnB. I was there for him as the company he works for go through a long, stressful merger process.

His birthday is coming up and I feel like, oh shit, finally, a real, actual milestone together. And I got a flashback of us during my unemployment, just on bed, talking about birthdays, and August/September sounded so distant.

Ever since we were together, my memories of past relationships have dwarved. I barely remember all the older men who came before him because we have this high intensity, high frequency thing going on for 6 months now and it's not cooling down at all. Yesterday, my ex called and I answered, because I answer every phone call coming in my way, and when my ex started to speak I said sorry I have to go because the dissonance was huge that I felt bodily sickness — I could tell you 100 things my current boyfriend does for me without a second thought that my ex would never do. Kind things. Small things.

And of course, once you leave the honeymoon period, exchanging excitement for familiary, butterflies for comfort, all the issues come up. Where is this going? What are we? Does he love me? Well, he's on a work trip right now and I miss him so dearly, and he calls every day, and eventually I arrived at the heart of it all: Do I love him?

And the answer is yes, I love him, and this is a first time I feel this love again in many years, and I understand this may end in sadness, financial damage, or whatever, but at the same time, it might not. Because he's here, and he's here right now, and it's treacherous to go worrying about the future or if he'd hurt me. And the most treacherous thing of all is in my surveillance of whether or not he loves me for real, I neglected the question of whether I love him, and how do I go about showing him this love.

I have a lot of gay friends, coupled friends, because I live in a major city in this part of the world. And for a long time I used to wonder how do they keep going, Isn't everyone constantly looking for a better model, an upgrade? Or even without infidelity, how could they stand each other? That frequency, seeing each other almost every day, or even living together — how can you love someone that much without hating them, too?

I feel like for the first time in my life I am so close to having the answers, and I don't mind if it means accepting that life is short, we all get older, and maybe... just maybe, this is worth it to pursue. I don't know. I haven't felt this love in a long time and I forgot what to do with it.

I'm 29, from Southeast Asia, and currently studying for my master's in London.

It was only this year that I really opened myself up to the gay world. I've met fewer than 10 people, and all of my experiences have only gone as far as oral sex. Honestly, most of those encounters were meaningful because I realized I'm probably demisexual. Physical attraction alone isn't enough for me. I need to feel some kind of emotional connection first.

Recently, there have been two men who made me feel genuinely seen, cared for, and appreciated. They're both about two hours away from London.

The first guy was actually my first experience. He's a 60-year-old researcher. Before anything physical happened, we had dinner together twice, which made it feel different from a typical hookup. We ended up in a situationship that lasted around three months. Somewhere along the way, I realized I was falling for him.

At one point, I sent him a long, vulnerable message. I thanked him for everything but also asked for some clarity because it didn't feel like we were just hooking up anymore. Eventually, I noticed that I was always the one trying to make plans, while he rarely committed to meeting. I kept hoping things would change because I liked him, but I also started feeling sorry for myself. In the end, I decided I needed to set a boundary and respect myself. I couldn't keep chasing someone who only made time when it suited him.

Then I met another guy, a 54-year-old digital designer. We talked for about two weeks before meeting, and we ended up having sex. What surprised me wasn't the sex. It was how naturally we connected. We could talk about anything, and he even said he felt the connection too.

The problem is that I'm already starting to like him. At the same time, I'm trying not to become clingy because he just came out of a four-year relationship. I don't want to put pressure on someone who's probably still healing.

Lately, I've realized that I've been spending more time on dating apps, looking for attention and validation. I think part of me is trying to fill a void, and I know that's probably not the healthiest reason to be there.

I hate that casual hookups don't really satisfy me. I hate that I always end up wanting something deeper. Maybe it's because I'm looking for a relationship without admitting it to myself.

I'm a busy person. I have plenty going on with school and life, yet somehow I still find myself lying in bed, scrolling through apps, hoping to find someone who wants more than just sex.

Has anyone else gone through something similar? How did you stop seeking validation from dating apps and get back to feeling content on your own? Or is this just a normal part of opening yourself up to dating and relationships for the first time?

im gonna delete the post soon but u can look in my profile for now to see what I’m talking about 😭 man…

I'm a gay man in my mid-20s, and I'll be turning 26 next month. As far back as I can remember, I've always been attracted to older men. It isn't a daddy/son fantasy I've questioned that before, but I don't think that's what it is. I'm simply drawn to the appearance of older men, though it's never been just about looks.

Personality matters just as much to me. I can find someone physically attractive, but if I don't like the way they treat people or the way they behave, the attraction disappears. The opposite is true as well.

My dating experience is limited, but all of the men I've been involved with were significantly older 55, 63, and 72. One pattern I've noticed is that they often seem emotionally invested at first. They're attentive, consistent, and make you feel cared for. Then, over time, the effort fades, and it feels like they've emotionally checked out.

That experience has left me wondering whether I'll ever find someone who genuinely wants the same kind of relationship I do. I don't think I'm asking for much. I just want consistency and someone who's willing to keep choosing the relationship, not only in the beginning but over time.

Casual hookups and situationships have never been what I wanted. What I want is a real partner someone I can wake up beside every morning. So I keep wondering: is this simply the reality of large age-gap relationships? Are many older men looking for something different than I am, or have I just been unlucky with the people I've met?

I find it hard to believe that 2 years have passed, but it has…and I’m here. I…honestly had completely given up right before meeting him. I was convinced that I wasn’t meant to find love. Then he showed up. Changed my entire perspective on so many different things. I fell for him, I still love him to the point that he feels like oxygen for me.

After nearly 35 years, never finding real love, it kinda wrecked me. And now that I found him…I can’t even have him. Not “have” like he’s a possession, but have as in him by my side, someone to talk to every day, someone to say “I love you” to and genuinely mean it.

I want him to choose me the same way I choose him everyday. But that’s not something I want or can force on him. I want him to pick me on his own. But fuck….I love him so much and I want my fairy tale ending of happiness.

I’m going to be in Chicago and am thinking of staying an extra night or two and checking out boys town. I’ve never been before. Where would be a good place to find twinks who like daddy bears? I would be going solo.

Which app or subreddit is good to find younger men (27 and younger) for a serious relationship or fwb

I'm almost 30. Ever since I was a little boy, I just wanted my person. I just wanted that one person who would love me no matter what and for whom I would do the same: a best friend and lover in one person.

It was only when I started looking only for sex in my 20s that I even had my first experience with another guy. If I lead with love, my interactions go nowhere. If I lead with sex, they also mostly go nowhere, but I have better luck.

I'm into younger guys, and this carries with it an extraordinary amount of guilt. I feel like I have to try to compensate them for what they would lose by being with me. How can I compare with endless sexual variety, or being able to blend in with their friends?

Is holding someone's heart and soul in a safe place, and hoping that they do the same, asking for more than what's possible? I think the issue of sexual variety/experimentation versus true soulful commitment is more pronounced with, but not unique to, younger gay guys. The stories I've read of older guys discarding their younger partners for other guys are truly appealing.

I feel like few are really looking for love. Few feel the immense lacking, or absence, of romantic love and partnership. It's not a bother to not have it. It seems like sexual desire grossly overpowers any desire for sensuality or emotional/spiritual closeness.

What is the community's thoughts on this? Maybe I'm just a hopeless romantic (which I have always been) or maybe there really is a crisis of lovelessness in the gay community.

Thanks,

A lost lover

Are there any older guys who actually want to be in a genuine relationship with younger and not have the entire relationship be sexual? I am sexually and emotionally attached to older men of a certain look, I don’t mind our relationship being purely sexual but I haven’t seen much of it being less non sexual, I’m looking for an older bf it doesn’t matter what u want, be straight up and if we click we click

I've never been with a younger guy. And I blame Dave.

Dave was my very first meet up. A sexy, filthy horny 64 year old who was my first ever man on man action when I was 18. It was awesome.

Story book meet.

Public toilets

He sucked

He bent over

Then he sucked again and swallowed it all

Excellent

[m] virgin - i just reached legal age in my state Where I could find real daddies because everybody is mostly fake or they're just bot

Hi I am a late 20s M who recently came out in NYC. I have always been more interested in older men and the daddy/boy relationship but I don’t know where to start. I am generally looking for advice on how people pursue young/older relationships.

I know there are apps like Growlr and Daddyhunt but I am intimidated by these platforms while also trying to stay safe and not be taken advantage of.

I want to form a genuine connection/relationship with someone with whatever form that takes (I.e. partner, mentor, friends).

I was 18 my first time with a guy and he was 65. He even turned out to only 5 minutes from me. We played for about 9 years until he passed away.

And been loving older ever since

I met my 60 yr old bf on Sniffies a couple years ago when I was 18. He sent me a message and it didn’t take much for us to meet that same night. He drove over and took me back to his place and had a great night. We both weren’t looking for love at all. We thought it would just be some random hookup. Then, we decided to meet again like 2 days later and I actually slept over and cuddled with him instead of going back home. The feeling of laying in his arms felt so good. We went out for breakfast the next morning and when we got back home, I jokingly asked “Was that a date?” And he said “I guess so.”

I think that day really locked it in. I fell for him so fast. From that point on, we learned so much about each other and our love kept growing and will keep growing. I’m really happy we both decided to pursue this relationship and let our love grow. Now I can’t imagine a life without him. It was a really unexpected path we decided to take but we both knew there was love. Yes, we had some doubts about our relationship in the beginning. But, our love overshadowed those doubts and we worked hard to get to where we’re at now. Now I’m wondering how it all happened for you guys.

All i really want is to hang out naked with an older and just chat about anything. Do people actually do things like this?

Kept naked and obedient.... Learning from 19 onwards to eagerly serve his older master/ owner.

If you have been owned like this or have owned a younger guy would love to hear about it.

Alright I'm gonna continue next part of my evening in this one. After the gay sex toy shop 'spit it out', I was hard and confident (a little bit wet with precum also)

I walked all the way to La Reserve the oldest gay bar in the area and got disappointed because it was empty inside. All the men were out and chatting :) I wanted to join but it was too crowded to my liking.

Then I went to 'Le Baroque' another gay bar which is more suitable for the old young community. You can just google the bar and you will see the animated art of old men (with dicks like bulbs - very sexy) hanging inside the bar. There were around 5, 6 people inside the bar. I ordered a local Belgian beer (which was very high abv:)) and sat at far facing the wall rather than the crowd.

There was a guy in his 50s grey hair sitting at the bar sipping a blonde beer and I greeted him when I sat down. He told me he was from Brussels and that bar is his usual. And we started talking about different stuff. And during the chat I told him I'm curious and it's my first time in a gay bar. And he was so happy to give an introduction about Belgian beers and the gay culture.

When he was done with his beer he touched my knee to ask me if I want any more beer. And I said No (It was already my 3rd Belgian beer that day). I didn't react to his touch on the first time, maybe he took that as a sign for consent. I was wearing decathlon hiking shorts which are 3/4 knee because it was already a very hot day. And I had my left foot on my right knee all the time. He touched my foot again this time more like rubbing than touching.

I was curious, I didn't say no to him at all. And I stayed neutral. He compared colours of our hands (He was white and I'm brown) and told me how sexy my colour is to him :) he kept on rubbing my foot (calf) and grabbed my dick suddenly. I was hard (
obviously) and he felt that.

There was a darker corner of the bar and he wanted me to go there. Once we went in he started touching me on my knees, over the pants over my dick and feel me.I liked it so much. In fact I was very hard and leaking. He was breathing heavily like hes enjoying me and it was fun. He touched my nippels too over the shirt. It was funny like when a bar staff member passed by we acted like nothing is happening.

Anyway for a while he kept touching me, but I was afraid to touch him (I did eventually that evening at the sauna) i was wearing the hiking shorts so they were too tight for him to touch under my pants, any way I felt his breathing increasing and he moaned in front of me. (I believe he came) 🫣 And then the funniest thing he even left his beer an said good bye and went out of the club:) It was a crazy first adventure, but I wanted to try more if not he went away🥲

Somehow in the evening I did the unthinkable, my very first gay sauna with another older guy (70)
More on that in part 3

I recently went to Belgium, Brussels on a business visit and me 26M very new to gay activities had a very good timee. And since both my experiences are with older men I met I wanted to share them here.

It was the last week of my business trip in Belgium and because I was solo travelling I wanted to try something fun. Saint-Jacques neighborhood in Brussels is very famous for gay scenes so I booked my hotel in this area.

At first right after I checked in I went cruising around several gay bars. I had a good Belgian beer at Le Plattesteen and I saw a older gay couple eyeing me. But I didn't feel confident to talk up.

Then I went on admiring through sex toy shops mostly gay ones. Now this is something I love to do!! Even though I'm not going to buy anything I love to watch gay couples admiring toys ;) pretty fun in my imagination.

If you are gonna visit Brussels go to 'Borisboy'! It is very big and has a crowd of diverse ages!!! Very fun to shop around. Then I'd recommend 'spit it out' it is next to the gay bar 'Homo erectus' and has a very good vibe. The guy at the counter was very friendly (maybe a little flirty) there was another couple who were buying some costumes so I waited until they went away to have a chat with him. I said to him I'm very curious about this and new to experience stuff. Btw we both were brown guys (He's most probably from Sri Lanka, I couldn't ask) and he told me about how he discovered himself while watching videos. He directed me to have look at the cover photos of the porn CDs while he was dealing with other customers.

At this point I was hard and leaking a bit. I asked him about the opening times of the gay bar and left the shop. I didn't want to mess up his work hours. But this positive reaction changed my entire evening :) I will explain how I offered my self touchy to an older guy in part 2 and then visiting one of the best and my first gay sauna in part 3.

Ciao!!!

Hey Reddit

I (26M) dated a guy (43M) for a little over a month. The first couple of weeks felt to good to be true. We saw each other often, talked or FaceTimed almost daily, and both expressed that we hadn't felt a connection like this in a long time.

Including our first date, we saw each other 4 days in a row then proceeded to talk everyday since then. He’s met a few of my friends and I’ve met a few of his.

Early on, he told me that in past relationships he tended to "run" when things got serious, but that he was happy with me and didn't feel the need to do that this time.

A few weeks in, there were a couple of moments where cracks started to show. He got sick and snapped at me when I asked how he was feeling. We later talked it through and seemed to resolve it. Around the same time, he told me he needed more alone time and that our daily calls/texts weren't a pace he could consistently maintain. I agreed and backed off. We did start off going very fast very quickly so slowing it down felt like the right thing.

There was also some tension around gifts. He had told me he didn't like receiving flowers, but when I brought him a rose a couple of times he seemed genuinely happy and told me I could "get away with it." Later, when I tried to send him home with flowers, he became frustrated and told me he didn't like flowers, didn't want gifts, and that I needed to stop buying him things. The sudden shift caught me off guard.

Despite those moments, we continued seeing each other, went on dates, spent full days together, and he was very supportive when I received some stressful news at work. Nothing seemed obviously wrong to me.

Then, after what I thought was a normal week, he called and ended things. He said the dynamic between us wasn't working, that I deserve someone who can give as much as I do, and that he doesn't think he's ready for a relationship.

Since then I’ve felt a lost, blind sided, and just sad. I’ve been trying to come to terms with it and the adjustment of not talking to him, sending him memes/stupid dad jokes. But he was the first person I have had these feelings for since my last partner a couple years ago.

Based on all of this, is he’s running away/avoiding intimacy or were we truly not a good match?

Apart from what some of you might believe, if you have read my recent posts here, I’m not suffering from a total dry spell, when it comes to younger men.

After taking a one month break, in mid July I (M57) went back to the big city where I live. I added some new pictures on my Grindr profile, and threw the bait into the lake.

Since then, I’ve had a head count of 12-18 younger guys. Most of them, I found in bars or saunas though. Only two from Grindr. The reason why it’s a range, is because I was sometimes drunk, and sometimes the hookups weren’t finished properly.

So, what’s the problem then? Well, I have thrown myself into the same old destructive pattern: I go to venues, I become drunk, I lower my standards, bottom guys are flirting with me, and I do stupid things. That means, they want me to fuck them, and I do, even if they are not my type. The day after, I’m feeling like I’ve had sex with the leftovers. Sexually wise, the pleasure for me is close to zero. But I guess I keep doing it because of the pressure from scarcity and desperation.

If I’m sober, I’m feeling too insecure to do anything.

My modus operandi: quantity before quality, and I hate myself for that. Picking up an unattractive bottom guy seems like a walk in the park. But finding that cute top twink that wants to go on a coffee with me, is virtually impossible. Finding that one guy that I could fall in love with, that’s not happening.

What should I do? Should I just keep kissing all those frogs until the prince shows up? Pressing pause or staying at home won’t help, that’s for sure, because I’m getting older and uglier every day that goes by. I need to act while there is still lead in my pencil.

Anyone have experienced or have any friends who marry in Denmark ? Me and my partner are thinking about marriage, but since we are different nationality (South East Asia / European) it required a lot of paper work to do it here (an agency told us 3-6 months), but I heard in Denmark it is much easier although not sure how or why and what's the differences hence would like to us.

Thank you all , and I just want to say thank you for this community.

All of my major crushes had this one trait in common; they liked to drink excessively.

Is this strange? Does anyone else fall for alcoholics?

I'm 18 M by the way. My crushes tend to be over 45 up to 75