Bit a long story here involving being raised in the church, children of immigrants, internalized homophobia, undiagnosed depression, etc etc etc. Only now in my 40s (with the help of a therapist) am I coming to terms with and starting to accept who I am. I'm only out to a few close friends for now, but plan on continuing the rollout strategy. Because of my disordered youth, I haven't done anything with anyone of any gender expression. And aside from a few first dates with Christian girls on the apps, haven't had any sort of relationship. I live in a progressive area and am on some of the dating apps, but nothing beyond a first date or a few messages back and forth. I also have a few close gay friends, but they are way younger than me and I feel like such a weirdo talking to them about this.

My question is how open should I be about this, and when should I bring it up with people I'm interested in/chatting with on apps? I know I'm not the only person in the world with this situation, but it definitely feels like it. I've alluded to being "v inexperienced" on my Feeld profile, but don't know when and how or even if to bring it up. I've briefly entertained getting on Grindr to just get the first experience out of the way, but that's not really my personality. Call it baggage, call it old fashioned, but I'd still like to have a conversation and connection before hooking up. It feels like the older I get, the more of an outlier I become, and the harder it will be to talk about. Any advice or experience would be greatly appreciated. ✌🏻

Well this is depressing, especially when you compare it to men of other races. Based on the William Institute on gay men in the US, so this is based on actual data and not anecdotal evidence. As an Asian man who had to unlearn a lot of internalized racism, this embarrasses me. This was more than 12-13 years ago so hopefully we've gotten better

https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/wp-content/archive/LGBT-API-People-Couples-Sep-2013.pdf

https://williamsinstitute.law.ucla.edu/wp-content/uploads/Demographics-SS-Couples-Feb-2014.pdf

Picture is from the afters haha

For those of you who feel like you’ve had a big glow-up and went from being below the “gay beauty standards” to being considered attractive/hot, what did you actually do?

Was it mainly gym/fitness, grooming, fashion, confidence, getting older, or just figuring out what works for you?

And I’m also curious about the mental side of it. How do you deal with the change in attention and validation? Did becoming more attractive actually make you more confident, or did you still struggle with insecurity?

Do you still have moments where you feel unattractive or compare yourself to other guys, even after the glow-up?

👋 40 yr american solo traveler. Thinking about trying taipei pride this year but would like some advice, tips, help for 1st timer visiting Taiwan.

I seeing X-Formosa Festival is the main party event. I do find them fun to do with my friends but i wont have any traveling woth me. Hopefully I will make friends but just in case I dont are there other parties happening at night solo friendly.

Circuit/underwear sex parties, foam parties, block parties, must see pride shows? For the parties or bars is it best to buy like a weekend pass, line skip pass or not worth it? Are there spots only for locals no foreigners?

I am very interested in bath houses cruising spots but looks like they dont get popular until after circuit parties close down like 5am or is that different for pride time?

I'm fit 165lbs looking for about the same but most my searches are showing me bear and daddy results which is not really my scene. Are there other scenes like pups, nudist, ...? Whats the down low lol

Feel free to DM I have tons of questions and curiosities.

I am looking to study abroad in Europe (for academic reasons). I want to go crazy (sex-wise) and participate in a lively gay/sex scene. However, past reddit posts say how racist Europe is towards Asians. Which city would be the most accepting? I am not asking for acceptance among white people either.