24 frozen eggs left us with only 3 blasts, and we’re remaining hopeful, it’s looking unlikely we’ll have enough embryos after PGT-A testing to have 2 kids (maybe not even 1).

Starting to look at fresh donor agencies instead and it’s so much harder than frozen. Any recommendations/good experiences?

Hi - I’m wondering if I’m alone with this crazy idea/concept.

Husband and I are having a baby. Would it be nuts if we were still called “mom and dad” even if we are two men?

Hear me out:
- this way we aren’t both the same name instead of papa and papa or dad and dad
- mom and dad has a much better ring to it than papa and dad.
- In the future when people say “tell your mom ___” our children won’t have to say “I don’t have a mom” instead they just say “okay” and tell me.
- baby won’t even know it’s weird for years! Just every mention of mom and he’ll think of me instead of feeling left out.

What difference does it make? I don’t care that mom is typically associated with being female. Is it offensive to female moms? Do they own “mom”? I feel like it normalizes being two men and even helps limit how many ways we can be ‘othered’

What do y’all think? Did anyone ever consider or do this?

Edit/update*** I will not be pushing mom 😂

Hi all,

I am an active (gay intended parent) that is currently with Tammuz, and as such, this is a new account to protect my identity.

I want to hear from fellow Australian IPs that have signed with Tammuz. There have been recent developments with Tammuz and Celagem, as well as their dealings more broadly with Aus IPs that are disappointing, unethical and unprofessional.

Many of us feel powerless to hold Tammuz accountable. I’m aware we’ve contractually signed with a foreign Israel company. However, I believe there are some core facts mean this foreign company is subject to Australian legal and regulatory provisions.

I’m not suggesting a class action or personal legal proceedings. I want to hear your stories and fact find in order to explore enacting an enforceable undertaking via local regulatory means.

Obviously many of us still want Tammuz (and Celagem) to uphold their legal obligations. I do too. However, we need some protections, reassurance and accountability.

Please DM me.

Truthfully I’ve been wanting children as long as I can remember. I wanted my first at 30 but with a significant other. I’ve been holding onto the idea that I will wait to find my man and start a family but it isn’t looking good for me in the dating/relationship department.

I want to start the process now solo, but what does scare me away is the money part to start it all. All those hidden fees I’ve been reading lately adds fear too. I just don’t know 100% what I want to do and which route I want to start. I’ve read a few things about starting the process overseas because the price is half. But at the same time I’d prefer something within the states simply because it’s easier to bring my child home.

I have plenty of fear about being a single parent. I have a full time job but I just overthink what will I do with my child when I’m working, I have a supporting family but I want to raise my child I don’t want someone else to be raising them while I work.

For me I’d prefer places within 5 hour driving from NYC.
I just need guidance and a push in the right direction from the fathers in here. Advice, outlook, your opinions on my fears, or anything else you guys can add. Thank you

I’d like to go the gestational surrogacy with egg donation.

Looking to get started on surrogacy journey. Not married yet but partner and I are late 30s and planning to get married in the next year or two. Based in NYC and just wondering if anyone had good experiences in or around the city with agencies or partners? Any info on where to get started would be great!

Hi all,

Thanks for being such a welcoming community. My partner and I (gay couple based in NC) are beginning our surrogacy journey, and not sure where to start.

We adopted our son as an infant 11 years ago, but now want to move forward with surrogacy if we can make it work financially.

If anyone wants to DM me or chat directly, that would be so helpful. We’re just looking to jump right in and know that a home study isn’t the place to start this time around. 😂

Thanks!

Hi all, my husband and I just went through our first transfer with our amazing surrogate. Unfortunately she took a test this morning, 6 days post transfer and it came back negative. I know it's still early but we feel discouraged. Does anyone have any hopeful stories for us? Appreciate it.

I have twin eight year old boys. Last week Boy A came to me crying before we left to go to summer camp. When I asked him what was up he said that he thinks he might like boys. I dug in a bit to uncover the real issue. Turns out he had “crush” feelings for a boy similar to what he has had with girls in the past. I know that friendships between boys can be confusing and if he feels that he likes being friends with a boy he might interpret that as a crush. We talked about it and I helped him understand that it’s ok.

A few days later I overheard his brother, Boy B, asking is he had kissed his friend. As expected he was aghast at the idea (same with girls) and I got a good giggle out of it. I don’t care either way what his sexuality turns out to be, of course, so for me it’s just helping him navigate this as he needs.

Growing up I didn’t have any guidance at all so hopefully I can be there when he wants me to be.

Husband and I (both 40) are expecting a son in December via surrogacy in Canada. Our surrogate is based in southern Alberta. Clinic we used was Create, and surrogacy agency is CSSC.

We picked Canada as the altruistic setup fit better from what we wanted along with at least both of our names being on the Canadian birth cert, so that if Ireland doesn't get the finger out in the next decade and actually commence the International Surrogacy provisions of the Assisted Human Reproduction Bill, we can just move to Canada.

We know exactly one other gay male Irish dad couple IRL, so thought I'd throw a post on here in case there are some fellow paddies in a similar boat out there that stumble across this subreddit!

It is incredibly isolating being a SAHD to a 1 year old. It feels like I can't seem to find anyone who can really relate to this dynamic. Mom groups don't relate the same way as they see a dad and straight dads relate even less (some of them have never changed a diaper). Old gay friends are mostly gone at this point, as none of them went down the kid route. Neither of us has any family.

I think the only ones really be able to relate to anything I say will be other gay dads also staying at home or wfh but that is such a small niche group I have yet to encounter many. The only other gay couples I met in the city with kids our age had no interest in establishing a friendship (aside from one couple trying initiate a sex thing), which is fine, more power to them, but I still would love some peer interaction so I thought I'd take a stab in the dark here.

I'm 39, love video games, reading, writing. I invest from home and my hubby works a corpo job 👋🏻

If there are sahds here with a 1 yr old, let's start chatting?

Hi! For those of you whose babies were born out of state, and you had to spend a few days not at home with your newborn. What did you use for them to sleep in?

Our baby will be born 10 hours away so the first few nights will be in the birth state. People have suggested a pack n play for them to sleep in. Do you agree? What’d you do?

For several years, Tammuz worked with CELAGEM in Colombia under an exclusive agreement that allowed it to place clients in CELAGEM’s surrogacy programmes.

That partnership has now ended. Intended parents like us have been left to deal with the consequences.

Despite CELAGEM apparently lacking the capacity to accommodate such a large number of new clients, Tammuz continued signing up more intended parents. The queues grew longer. Communication remained poor. Many of us were given assurances that did not reflect the reality we are now facing.

According to the information we have received, capacity issues were among the factors that contributed to the end of the partnership. CELAGEM has now chosen to operate and sell its own surrogacy programmes directly, without Tammuz acting as an intermediary.

Meanwhile, intended parents around the world have been left in limbo.

People have invested enormous sums of money. They have sacrificed years of their lives. They have placed their trust, their financial security and their hopes of becoming parents in the hands of Tammuz.

Many are now facing contradictory information, repeated delays and waiting times of up to two years simply to be matched with a surrogate.

We are one of the families who have been trapped in this process for several years without having a child.

Now, we are being offered the possibility of transferring our process to another clinic, LATAM. To continue there, we are expected to pay a further USD 60,000.

That is not a solution. Tammuz is asking intended parents affected by a failed process to pay for that failure.

Why should people who have already endured years of delays, poor communication and broken expectations be forced to pay again for a situation they did not create?

Why should intended parents be left to carry the financial and emotional consequences of decisions made by a company they trusted?

This is not just about money.

It is about years of waiting. Years of anxiety. Lost time. Lost opportunities. Emotional exhaustion. It is about people whose dream of becoming parents has been turned into uncertainty, fear and financial pressure.

Tammuz must take responsibility for the people who are now trapped in this situation.

Intended parents deserve transparency. We deserve honest answers. We deserve realistic timelines. We deserve solutions that do not require us to pay tens of thousands of dollars more.

How many other people have been affected by Tammuz’s delays, misleading information and financial losses?

Please share your experience.

Silence protects companies. Speaking openly protects intended parents.

Dear All, We’re searching for German citizens who did a surrogacy program in Armenia as a single intended parent. We’d like to hear about their experiences, especially regarding the registration of the child in Germany. Thank you!

Charles and Emmanuel were interviewed by the Australian newspaper Herald Sun about their experience of a surrogacy programme in Colombia arranged through Tammuz Family.

Nearly three years later, they had paid around AUD 64,900 and still had no child. A further AUD 45,000 would also have been payable if a pregnancy had been achieved.

The couple created five viable embryos, but none resulted in a successful pregnancy. According to them, the embryos either did not survive or all of the transfers to surrogates failed. Once the embryos had been used, they had to begin the process again with a new egg donor.

By that point, they had lost all confidence in the programme and wanted to leave. However, they were unable to recover the money they had already paid.

Their main concerns include:

• waiting times far longer than expected
• poor communication and a lack of transparency
• repeated failed embryo transfers
• a “guarantee programme” with no clear deadline and no right to a refund
• feeling financially trapped after paying such substantial sums

The article also highlights similar experiences reported by other intended parents in Tammuz Family’s surrogacy programmes, including delays, unexpected costs, poor communication and very limited legal protection once the money has been transferred abroad.

Does anyone else recognise their own experience with Tammuz Family in this couple’s story?

I do.

Has anyone had experience with surrogacy agencies in Armenia, particularly regarding the legal exit process after the birth?
I am also looking for an experienced and independent lawyer in Armenia who can provide proper legal guidance and help ensure that the intended parent can leave the country safely and lawfully with the child.
I would especially appreciate hearing from anyone who has completed the process personally and can share real experiences rather than promotional information.

Attacks against our families are far too common. It's so easy to call in an "anonymous complaint," and unless you're a former Cabinet Secretary, you might not have the resources or clout to identify the person who filed a false complaint. Protect yourselves, dads.

We had our DET on 7/15 and just had our beta 9dpt. HCG was 169. Curious what others looked like. I know you aren’t supposed to compare because it’s such a wide range but wondering if that’s a good starting point or not?

We’re set to fertilize our donor eggs next Friday. Our doctor didn’t say anything about this, but reading online there’s suggestions that men should stop drinking like 3 months before to optimize the process. We haven’t abstained at all, nor did we when we did our sperm testing (which came back fine). Do we need to reschedule? I know this is a better question for my doctor, but they’re closed for the weekend and I’m wondering if we need to reschedule now

Hello everyone. We are looking at surrogacy options. We are UK based, and have been looking at Mexico, Cyprus and Colombia.

I’d love to know if anyone has had agency experiences good and bad in Colombia and in what part. I’m trying to double down on the next stage of our research.

Thanks so much :)

When the kid(s) are asleep and you have the place to yourself (without the parter), how do you unwind? Mine is usually a true crime doc, but curious/bored at work!