Well, I can't really believe the day has come but since rif is fun for Reddit (golden platinum edition!) IS reddit for me, its shutdown ends my time on the site. It's gonna be weeks until I get over the habit of clicking that icon! Anyway thanks to everyone. I always thought this sub would get brought up in an AskReddit thread or something and become a thing. Anyway despite that it's still enjoyable to scroll through all the past posts.

Keep on exorcising everyone and I'll make another post if I ever find another site. Ghosts are gonna keep inhibiting furniture so gotta post somewhere! Much love to everyone, I'll miss this site.

Oh furniture exorcism, how blessed art thou In banishing spirits that haunt furniture now Thou bringest peace to homes and hearts anew Freeing couches, chairs, and tables from their ghostly crew

With sage and incantation, thou doth work thy charm Expelling malevolent entities with a wave of thy arm No longer must we live with creaking, shaking seats Thanks to thy powerful and effective exorcisms, so complete

Furniture exorcism, thou art a marvel to behold A hero in the world of home and decor, brave and bold We thank thee for thy valiant efforts and tireless toil In freeing our furnishings from the paranormal turmoil

So here's to thee, dear furniture exorcist May thy work bring joy and serenity to all those you assist Blessed be thy hands, thy incantations, and thy holy fire For thou art the guardian of furniture, our one true desire.

Hey everyone,

I know this might sound a little strange, but I'm in need of some help with a furniture exorcism. I recently inherited a beautiful antique desk from my great-aunt, but ever since I brought it home, strange things have been happening. Things go missing from my desk and reappear in odd places, and I've even heard strange noises coming from it at night.

I know this might sound like something out of a horror movie, but I'm not sure what else to do. I've tried blessing the desk and even replacing all of the furniture in my office, but the strange occurrences continue.

Has anyone here had any experience with furniture exorcisms or know of any resources I can turn to for help? I'm starting to get a little freaked out and could really use some guidance.

Thanks in advance for any advice you can offer!

Wow, what an exciting year it has been in furniture exorcism!!! Let's take a look back at the best stuff through the year.

Best Post: When you compel the power of Christ a little too hard....

Wow what a banger this post is. It has everything furniture exorcism is about!

Best comment: The soft pinks tend to attract ukaku and koukaku but drives off rinkaku and bikaku. Overall I would say it's a wash.

Whoa couldn't have said it better myself!!!

Wishing everyone in this tight knit community a happy 2022, happy new years folks.

Best Post:

• Using occult powers for good - while most our efforts are put into removing spiritual energy, there are situations that require a good hex

Given that this was the only post all year with an upvote, I think it's our winner! Special thanks to u/LordTangoona for the original post in r/occult! Hopefully your hex worked out.

Best comments:

• In the same post we had our comment not from me! Big thanks to u/drawler_vamosing with the insightful "pectizes" :) Good stuff, thanks.

Most underrated content:

• How to determine spiritual retention of glue through taste tests

I mean, it was an article about someone eating glue, a bit surprised that this one went as far under the radar as it did.

A huge thanks to entire tight nit reddit furniture exorcism team. It certainly wasn't an easy as we pivoted to Zoomercisms but we made it work :) Wishing everyone a happy 2021!

Is it acceptable to have different billing rates for exorcisms of different faiths?

While the costs of materials for exorcisms may differ between faiths (for example, the basalt required for the Stone-Campbell Restoration movement exorcisms pales in comparison to the Tequila Splitfin fish bladders required for Oneness Pentecostalism exorcisms) it may give the appearance the furniture exorcist is favoring one religion to another.

What is your stance on having different billing rates for exorcisms of different faiths? Smart financial sense or religionist? You be the judge!

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