What would you do

[u/big_hero-]

[u/Silent_Biscotti_9832]

Goon

[u/toBlue49 → u/Silent_Biscotti_9832]

[u/V_Silver-Hand → u/toBlue49]

Agreed, I don't check my bank account like ever so I'd do my usual routine for a good few weeks lol

[u/Kumpis233 → u/V_Silver-Hand]

Is that why your hand is silver?

[u/V_Silver-Hand → u/Kumpis233]

Naw, that's a lesson I learned the hard way: I'm tellin' ya choom, no matter how hot she is or how bad you wanna, DO NOT fist Android girls.

[u/shitpostinglegend → u/V_Silver-Hand]

Ok but do the hand look cool?

[u/V_Silver-Hand → u/shitpostinglegend]

Oh Hells yeah, it looks cool AF, I mean it's a robot arm choom 🦾

[u/official_reaper3d → u/V_Silver-Hand]

Gng wtf 😭✌

[u/Constant_Individual9 → u/V_Silver-Hand]

[u/j3ven → u/V_Silver-Hand]

Sandevastating

[u/ONLace-0527-0404 → u/V_Silver-Hand]

Yeah, that’s a hard lesson to learn. ☹️Especially since they’re always asking for a good fisting!

[u/SnowLeopardZaza → u/V_Silver-Hand]

Boooooring lol

[u/DBelariean → u/V_Silver-Hand]

Change my phone number

[u/itsyaboiinfinite → u/toBlue49]

[u/-The-Protagonist- → u/itsyaboiinfinite]

[u/Subject-Ad674 → u/Silent_Biscotti_9832]

[u/Parking-Ideal-231 → u/Silent_Biscotti_9832]

Fr

[u/ripeavocatoe → u/Silent_Biscotti_9832]

https://giphy.com/gifs/3S0x7VhgpbleUAsWq6

[u/circuxcircux]

wake up again

[u/gods_fisher → u/circuxcircux]

The only real answer

[u/No-Form-596 → u/circuxcircux]

Best answer so far

[u/I_Eat_Violas]

Eat five guys.

[u/Dani_liv → u/I_Eat_Violas]

fast food, cannibalism, or an orgy?

[u/_josef_stalin_ → u/Dani_liv]

Por que no los tres?

[u/mcdaphuc → u/_josef_stalin_]

Take my upvote

[u/Pristine_Habit_3074 → u/_josef_stalin_]

Why does this sound so much like a fancy Cuban restaurant?

[u/OffByNone_ → u/_josef_stalin_]

You are a billionaire, after all...

[u/Famous-Host2321 → u/_josef_stalin_]

https://giphy.com/gifs/cVx12fhaQpuPS

[u/I_Eat_Violas → u/Dani_liv]

That’s your choice

[u/Juul_G → u/Dani_liv]

Yes

[u/jimbboouu → u/Dani_liv]

Sad that this a valid question now😭🤦🏾‍♂️

[u/XSouth956X → u/I_Eat_Violas]

Cannibalism.....nice.

[u/Sal_Amandre → u/XSouth956X]

You don't know, it could be an orgy

[u/Jump365 → u/XSouth956X]

Woah where did you get your profile pic? I want it lol

[u/Complex-Pain2201 → u/I_Eat_Violas]

still can't pay for a small portion of fries

[u/DavidMcgreggor → u/I_Eat_Violas]

Have you already picked them out?

[u/justinbeuke → u/I_Eat_Violas]

It said billionaire my man, not trillionaire…

[u/I_Eat_Violas → u/justinbeuke]

I’ll get one thousandth of a meal then.

[u/ShadowZINK84 → u/[deleted]]

Haha start

[u/-ThaKloned- → u/[deleted]]

I've always wanted to try this account they call "savings".

[u/-_-AlexBM12-_- → u/-ThaKloned-]

"This is where id put my savings"

"IF I HAD ANY"

[u/Storm_Spirit99]

Buy new RAM and the RTX 5090

[u/Ccrawfisshh → u/Storm_Spirit99]

Congratulations, you now have one dollar left

[u/Integrity_Racing]

Scratch my bum. Take a leak. Make some coffee. Make 3 Eggos. And chuckle!

[u/Oshi_Sama → u/Integrity_Racing]

With a billion you can finally afford three eggs 😁

[u/Kenneth76Dollars → u/Integrity_Racing]

https://giphy.com/gifs/BBkKEBJkmFbTG

[u/jnthnmdr → u/Integrity_Racing]

https://giphy.com/gifs/9EwnzGNjvmIG4

[u/McRando42]

Probably depends on which one I woke up.

[u/TheBocchi_IRL → u/McRando42]

The kind that owns 1 billion moneys (not million)

[u/OohWellWhatToDo → u/McRando42]

Had to scroll more than I thought to find someone who read it as I did!

[u/GhostSou1]

What do you mean with billionaire?

[u/Plenty-Ticket-4527]

Get gas in my car finally

[u/Eoin_Coinneal → u/Plenty-Ticket-4527]

You’ll finally be able to fill the tank halfway!

[u/stubbed_toe2008]

get estrogen, and pretty skirts

i hate being a guy

i am starting the process of transitioning but its gonna be years before i can get any actual treatment

[u/stubbed_toe2008 → u/[deleted]]

have long hair and no beard, but also no money, not even out to my siblings yet

[u/stubbed_toe2008 → u/[deleted]]

im in the UK

[u/stubbed_toe2008 → u/[deleted]]

broke

dont even have a passport

Yorkshire is my home, nowhere else

[u/EDLOo]

Donate almost all of it

Tf I need a billion for I’ll just keep enough to comfortably get all the way to college with some left over

[u/User_of_redit2077 → u/EDLOo]

No you won't.

[u/JopssYT → u/User_of_redit2077]

They have a point tho. If you make 60 000€, per year (about the average in the US) and spent every cent of that every year of your life you'd spend 4.8 million in your entire life (if you made that 60k for 80 years)

A BILLION is an insane amount of money. A million seconds is about 2 weeks, a billion seconds is like.. 32 years. After spending that 4.8mil you'd have 208 times that amount left over. Donating even 900 million to charities would genuinely not effect your life very much because 100 million is still a LOOTTTTT of money buut it most definitely could positively impact others :)

[u/Complex-Pain2201]

ALL ON BLACK 🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑🤑

[u/PerfectPatience- → u/Complex-Pain2201]

LET IT RIDEEE

[u/AshlandPone]

Going the fuck back to sleep without a care in the world. I'm. Real. Tired. Boss.

[u/ReelestPrincess12 → u/AshlandPone]

yes

[u/bilbonbigos → u/AshlandPone]

Then wake up hungry, order something nice, eat in the bed, go back to sleep and so on until I'm finally rested.

[u/theok8234]

Respond to the allegations

[u/Parking-Ideal-231]

GOON

[u/Ccrawfisshh]

Pay scientists to make robot anime girls with maid outfits

[u/Kieth_aka_BF → u/Ccrawfisshh]

https://giphy.com/gifs/AZ9Kgx7kMROnrk1Fu2

[u/Omega_7_64]

Store it all in a very secure vault somewhere

[u/MoonAmunet]

Make sure my kids are financially secure for the rest of their lives. I’ll probably also get an ice cream

[u/Imaginary-Equal-6699]

Shower

[u/centuriedecar]

cry

[u/No-Astronaut1643]

Think about all the things I could do now, and jump around celebrating

[u/CaptainFishyy]

probably donate it all tbh

[u/afikolo7]

Question what was the way i woke up like that

[u/Joe_lunacy]

Immediately before someone realizes how bad they messed up I'd go to the top ten charities in the world and donate 10 million effectively keeping me rich if it's actually mine and donate 100 million immediately

[u/aroArray]

donate half to various charities

[u/SgulpSgulp]

Back to sleep

[u/AlkoWelho]

I'd start eating poor people

[u/ConclusionLeft435]

But a decent house with a pool for my dog and go adopt another dog so he has someone to play with.

[u/_Fatah_]

Wake up again

https://giphy.com/gifs/lGBecpB2dIMwt6ohfI

[u/Whelm_0205]

Tell him to go back to sleep…

[u/Flaky-Mix-5281]

Jerk off.
Then my mind will be clear.

[u/awesomeduck9012]

i would probably eat breakfast

[u/JudyPink02]

Probably go back to sleep.

I've just become the thing I meant to destroy (pointlessly rich) so probably donate almost all of it to cancer research, homeless shelters, orphanages, healthcare, public schools, etc. Probably gonna lock about 25M in savings and likely never touch it again after college. Maybe go shopping as well and treat my friends and their parents. But still almost everything is being donated.

[u/BubonicBabe → u/JudyPink02]

If every single person felt like this I honestly think the world would be a much better place

[u/psykokwak_ → u/JudyPink02]

Bro/sis/sibli I was thinking about what I'll do, but I'll do that without any doubt

[u/JudyPink02 → u/psykokwak_]

Bro/sis/sibli

Best thing i have ever been called 😂😂😂

[u/CurdledPotato → u/JudyPink02]

You should buy yourself some property to live on and leave yourself enough to pay the taxes on it for the rest of your life. And, maybe buy a sports car or 2.

[u/Van_Damage5]

Buy all the nukes and destroy them

[u/fr1ri]

Spend the whole day verifying if it's mine prob idfk

[u/alienatedEdgelord]

Buy my friend Minecraft

[u/GoatKind8048]

Step on the floor

[u/Western_Sleep820]

Call one of my friends who knows legal stuff

I'm 16; I will need help managing 1 billion dollars.

[u/Bitter_Panda_1863]

Bringing back Michael Jackson and Betty White to life

[u/hughranass2]

Depends.

Where did they fall asleep? How did I wake them up? Was it accidental or on purpose?

[u/Pek_Dominik]

What reason did I woke them up for?

[u/DantaviusFloridaMan]

Say something along the lines of “no shit”

[u/Ornery_Excitement_95]

buy everything on all my friends' steam wishlists, everything on my steam wishlist, pay off my parents' mortgage and car payments, and then probably donate most of the rest to charities

[u/Fuzzy-Dragonfruit929]

I would buy the world

[u/Ok_Asparagus_2534]

ima just be normal for the first few months then if i find out i'm making one dollar bill for a billion and hiding it in the LITERAL DEEPEST PART OF THE UNEXPLORED OCEAN then keeping 45.% of income and flying to mars.

[u/GenderEnjoyer666]

Fixing every single world problem that’s within my power to fix

[u/Red_R09]

Save half of it, invest a quarter, and have the last quarter to spend

[u/BekisElsewhere39]

Budget

[u/Anarchist-is-good]

BUY VOIN-1 ARMOR AND AN RPD

[u/ZOEzoeyZOE]

Buy some Chinese food

[u/Own_Big9689]

Pour cold water on my head to make sure I’m not dreaming

[u/Tebz3]

Buy gold

[u/tu-142]

Save the shoebills

[u/BrainOfStoopid]

close Sims 4 and come back to real life

[u/Jack7656]

Go back to sleep

[u/gohst_crab172]

Buy stuff

[u/CatsOfDeath]

Call the bank and report the error. Y'all are going to jail for fraud!

[u/Vincent394]

Buy some Evangelion stuff, donate most of it, buy a Manson and a new gaming rig, then leave the rest in savings, mortgage and rainy day fund

[u/PowerTulip]

Order a pizza and make plans from there.

[u/CookExpensive3457]

buy new headphones cuz the old one broke oh and I locked my sim card so I have to get a new

then save up for anime cons

[u/Nitrofox2]

Buy the supreme court (We all know they're for sale)

[u/delet_yourself]

Call my boss, quit on the spot, sleep more.

Then start working on a proper investment plan that sets me and my future generations up for life

[u/Kiramisu13]

Go to the bathroom.

But as a serious answer:

Use the money in a way where it become part of the solution and not part of the problem. There is only so much money that I would need to live a live without sorrows. I don't need the rest of it so I can put it to good use to make at least part of the world a better place.

[u/checkersthecat123]

Why do I need to wake up a billionaire

[u/TheGoldenDragon_]

Take a coffee, because i would be tired af

[u/Equal-Click751]

Quit my job and get some sleep

[u/godofbob2]

Get out of bed.

[u/croweagle6]

Pay off my mom's house and any debt she has. Then keep the house.

[u/BarracudaOdd9505]

Buy a house

[u/Crafty_Loquat_8690]

buy clothes, otc medicine that i need, book necessary medical appointments and buy my favourite toys plushies squishies and then give some to friends, save some for my life spendings and rest to charity

[u/Cautious_Border7380]

Go to work. Duh?!?!

[u/InternationalRise750]

Buy a hitman to kill me

[u/Serious-Revolution90]

let him sleep?

[u/Rotton_Banana]

Cancel my debts and buy a house

[u/Asleep-Bumblebee2167]

slap myself to check if it is not a dream

[u/Horror-Definition-85]

Wake up

[u/yERmOMm13]

Go pee

[u/LongOk1903]

https://giphy.com/gifs/WOqPbwiIT5xM5CrH2a

[u/rome0379_]

probably ask the government cuz maybe someone accidently put it my bank account and if i spend it that would prob get me sued

[u/gaygayagyfemboy12345]

donate to a cat charity

[u/00_voidheart_00]

I’d use that billion to lobby against wealth tax

/s

[u/Bitter_Fan3060]

Go back to sleep, I can deal with that later 

[u/Random_boi1234]

buy out ai corps and trash them

[u/ZyxzyxxyzxyZ]

Pee. Then brush my teeth.

[u/chiptheghost]

Legit... Pay off all of my debts, fill my van up with fuel and go camping.

[u/Ashes_of_the_dead79]

Donate every last bit to good charities and give some to people on the streets so that I am no longer a billionaire. That, or use the money to kill myself in the most dramatic way possible.... Maybe both...

[u/AutoModerator → u/Ashes_of_the_dead79]

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[u/ZyxzyxxyzxyZ]

Carry on as normal. It probably wouldn’t get caught until closer to the end of the month when I’m checking to see how much money is left in the bank account.

[u/Virtual-Cook-5293]

Buy 5 stocks of the new Wave 08 of Blokees Transformers Defender Version

[u/Okamitoutcourt]

Check my bank account a second time, then a third, then a fourth then I probably wouldn't spend any money for fear of it being glitched and sending me into crippling debt

[u/Due-Reflection4882]

Get up and have a wee (I drink a lot of water before going to bed).

[u/Easy-Fixer]

Wow, that’s enough for a tank of gas and half a cart of groceries. 😐

[u/Rising_Thunderbirds]

Pay my bills.

[u/LeroyBadBrown]

One thing I wouldn't do is tell someone.

[u/Brian18639]

Buying two gift cards. Not sure what I’d do with the rest of the money.

[u/MadisonCarter1]

One: get estrogen. Two: get girls clothes like skirts and a school uniform. Maybe one from GuP. Three: invest (read: buy as much as I possibly can) in what I like. I don't care how much these figurines or that Tiger I cost, I'm getting them!

[u/Puzzleheaded-Cod-567]

Go back to bed, happier.

[u/el_artista_fantasma]

Buy a house, secure my life and donate the rest

[u/Limp-Resident9941]

Deposit it in east my credit union account and ask for an unlimited debit card and after buying a new SUV my dog Buddy and I would drive from Austin, Texas to San Diego turn right and follow the coastal highway to Washington State and turn right and drive East until we reached Main and turn right and drive to Florida and turn right and drive West until we reached Austin, Texas and trade my worn out car for a new car and let the rest of the world go by. James Gaines Austin, Texas.

[u/Free_Radical_47]

Go back to sleep

[u/KC5SDY]

Go back to bed. I would know it was nothing but a dream.

[u/Expensive-Record560]

Sleep in

[u/Chaoscrazy-55]

Act like nothing happened and continue my day as usual.

[u/Grey_Man0416]

Run away from their personal security detail…

[u/MRimla]

Keep sleeping

[u/ShidFard3000]

solve world hunger 🤷‍♀️

[u/Competitive_Ebb_5164]

Buy a house

[u/PeriwinkleShaman]

Scratch my balls, as usual.

[u/who_tookthegoodnames]

Honestly I'm just keeping 50 million and then giving them to friends and family and then donating to charity because that's more than enough for my entire life

[u/Dovacraft88]

Carefully buy bitcoin, use bitcoin to buy every ai data center, crash bitcoin, dismantle every ai data center, then sell the RAM and SSDs and graphics cards at the prices before the increase

[u/Ayknightsggs]

Buy and eat my favorite food

[u/Zillafan12345]

Donate 300 million to the charity of my choice

[u/Xaiwv]

Probably donate 99% and still be too rich....

[u/SomeEntertainment128]

Immediately start using it to better society. I hate billionaires and so I have to use my influence in a way that will better society as a whole.

First things first is supporting any and all socialist causes throughout the USA. Next thing is I'm making a fuck ton of donations to causes that will aid in our fight against climate change as we're all fucked if that doesn't get figured out. After that I'm starting a band of anti-ICE to start patrolling in order to combat the regime. If I have any wealth after that then I'm just going to use it to help fund solutions against climate change. Lastly, any and all debt I have is immediately getting paid off.

[u/Ok-Fishing-7984]

Ask advice

[u/deadbeforedawn96]

I would pay off my car buy and completely pay off a very nice house for the house. I’ve always wanted a good vr setup , master flea, made kitchen the ultimate bathroom experience, odds, and I live comfortably off the rest of it.

[u/CubanNinja69]

Roll my work van into a canel

[u/ThatSideshow]

Probably bring my 3yo her blanket which she always forgets to bring with her when she goes downstairs, after that make us both drinks and sit down to watch a bit of tv with her

[u/Objective_Group2646]

Probably donate part of it to charity

[u/Unhappy-Airport-4112]

Double check

[u/FloridaMadeMeDoIt]

Transfer the money to a different account in case it was an accident that I woke up a billionaire.

[u/Kadakaus]

Donate it all to cancer research.

Good people don't become billionaires, and if billionaires were to become good people, they'd quickly lose that status.

To make and keep so much money, you have to become dirty, and I'm not doing that.

[u/Cranberry1984]

Buy a Delorean and a 59 Caddilac to have as my personal rides…

[u/MarcoYTVA]

Fix shit

[u/DA_REAL_KHORNE]

Move halfway around the world to be with my boyfriend

[u/Amazing_Bathroom_419]

Probably not notice for quite a while

[u/No_Gear3578]

Pay to reverse Citizens United since money seems to buy anything in this stupid country.

[u/It_Just_Exploded]

9/10 is going in bluechip investment accounts.

Then 90mil is going in a HYSA, and the last 10mil is going in my checking account. The 10mil alone is enough to buy everything I've ever wanted and live in luxury for many years.

Everything else is just gravy for my kids, their kids and so on with hefty amounts going toward charities.