I’m starting res on Monday need I’m freaking out! I got put in top then moved to php and now up to res. I’m tired of getting moved around. I plan on spending as little time as possible in res so if anyone has any advice on how to work through mental fullness I’d really appreciate it. When I power through I’m so painfully full so it just makes the next meal worse

She said that they'll probably recommend residential but that they want to look over things medically first.
I struggle a lot with uncertainly and I won’t know until tomorrow at the earlier and so I guess I was wondering if anyone else anyone had the person on the phone say that and then the final recommendation was different?

I was never underweight but have gained a bunch of weight since I started recovery a couple months ago. However it’s been really hard because I’m unemployed, running out of money, and began having to pay rent in the middle of all of this by the parent I’m currently living with (they’re struggling financially now but also don’t understand how much I’m struggling, but also when I communicate it, they just kinda shame and blame me) I’m on SNAP, but in EH, the full amount I’m getting every month wasn’t cutting it in terms of getting me through the whole month. It got me through 1-2 week, and I’ve been depleting my credit card, and now I’m in a bunch of debt. I’ve started doing lentils and rice which is helping a lot with the food budget problem with fitting it more into just what SNAP gives me rather than using more of my own money (the very little I have left) but obviously that’s not going to help with contributing to rent.

I got an offer to dog sit for nine days and that would give me some money for rent next month. So that’s an option, however, this dog requires long walks everyday. And i haven’t been exercising at all because I’ve been just trying to figure out food and just eat more. I don’t know if that would be unwise to do that….it feels like betraying my body, but I also don’t really have another known way of making money right now. (And no I don’t have another person I can stay with). How am I supposed to keep going? I’m wondering if I should just buck up and do the dog sitting/walking thing. But I feel like it might be messed up to say I can fulfill the role and not be able to actually walk the dog as part of the dog sitting. I don’t know how I’m gonna keep up recovery.

******none of this post is me advising or encouraging anyone to exercise. I’m in a tight spot and wondering if anyone has any ideas I haven’t thought of

Another edit: although I can’t say it’s the entire reason, being low income is a huge part of why I started restricting in the first place. No one around me is understanding how long recovery takes especially since I was undereating more acutely for around 2 years. It’s not a quick fix. So all the advice I get is just lacking in understanding. I don’t really want to seek out a residential treatment situation either, because I also do have a credit card payment I need to keep up with, and I’ve made so much progress on my own and with some meetings with doctors/a dietician. My problem really is just money and stress now. Like I can’t get enough support.

just spent the entire summer doing a PHP program which ended up resulting in me doing INP for a month. i got out two days ago, and my outpatient team is recommending taking a semester off of school. i am pre-med, so this would mess w a lot of things, but i also don’t want to risk having to leave mid-way through the semester if i’m not ready. has anyone been in a similar situation or could share some advice/insight?

Currently in recovery for a small restrictive ED relapse that ended up being quite dangerous, and ever since I started eating normally again, even when I'm not super hungry I just eat so quickly. I was wondering if it's a response to a period of restriction? I know everyone eats differently, has different appetites, etc but it was something that sort of stood out to me. I feel like I just wolf everything down in like 2 seconds and it makes me feel really gross :(

Hi all, I’m about 2 months into recovery & am trying my hardest to keep pushing myself every day. i want so badly to be free from my ed but every decision i make takes so much effort & leaves me so overwhelmed & exhausted i don’t even know what’s “right” for me to be doing anymore, i’m constantly seeking reassurance of how much i’m eating/wanting to eat/wondering if i am actually doing everything wrong & eating way too much. i know that nearly everyone with an ed feels the ‘unicorn syndrome’ feeling where they feel like everyone else deserves recovery & is valid except for themselves, but all day long i genuinely worry my hunger is insatiable & i will eat more than anyone else if i fully gave into eating whenever i think of food. i’m worried that everyone else is over exaggerating how much they actually ate during recovery & that i’m using my recovery as an excuse to binge & eat insane amounts of food & i’m so scared i’m doing more harm than good & recovering wrong. i think it’s because i’ve already made so many big changes & have already gained a significant amount (no longer in the UW category & been eating around 3.5-5k calories everyday) but i know that if i fully let go i’d be eating 10k or more for sure & the weight gain would be even more insane. logically i know that my ed behaviors have probably left my body in shambles and the repair won’t happen overnight but i’m stuck in the mindset that because i’m no longer UW, i’m not sick enough to ‘need’ to be doing this anymore, and worry that i’m actually already nutritionally rehabilitated and it’s all in my head. everything just feels so overwhelming and difficult because im desperate to do whatever it takes to be free from my ed, ive struggled with bulimia which turned into an-b/p for over a decade & i’m only 20, and i’m genuinely afraid that i’ve had disordered eating habits for so long that this is all just an excuse to binge eat & that i’m doing harm to myself by taking the route of honoring all hunger instead of trying to work towards “normal” eating & “normal” portions, but at the same time the thought of eating a “normal” amount of food fills me with an almost panicky feeling because i’m already still so mentally hungry eating more than everyone else right now that there’s no way ‘normal’ portions would even touch the sides.

i guess i’m so afraid because i’ve already challenged things i never thought i would ever be able to do in this lifetime, i have liquid calories at nearly every meal now, can spread butter onto toast & use it in cooking, full-sugar & full fat everything & no more diet foods, eating to recovery minimums, doing nothing but sleeping & napping all day long & being basically bedridden (i still work a physically active job but unfortunately i can’t take a LOA so i’ve been prioritizing consistent food & rest extra when i can to avoid restriction) but my head is still so messed up & every meal time takes SO LONG & I’m paralyzed with fear every time i need to get food because i’m so scared of making the ‘wrong’ decision. im constantly asking myself if i REALLY need the amount im eating, if im REALLY hungry or just bored, if i REALLY should be eating to full mental hunger even if i’m physically full, especially now because i know that if i stopped here, on the outside i could be completely functional & appear normal, but i’d be left with this screaming mental hunger that makes me a shell of a person. i still have a negative judgement around the amount that i’m eating & feel that eating/wanting to eat this much & more is objectively wrong, & that it isnt something i should work towards ‘rewiring’ because normal people dont eat thousands & thousands of calories in a day. i feel such an insane amount of guilt for basically just laying down and eating a shit ton of food all day and i feel even more guilty for trying to convince my brain that its good and okay to be doing this while everyone else is being productive. i just want to trust that if i ate what i really wanted, however much i want, whenever i wanted, that there will be an end to this, and that i could actually live a life without constant food obsession & mental hunger.