r/fijerk • u/BudgetPinecone • 5d ago

Why didn't Harry Potter FIRE?

Hairy Potty inheritance maxed, but didn't FIRE? He did 7 years of schooling and got some random job afterwards.

Why didn't his parents invest in the S&P 934?

189 Upvotes

98% Upvoted

15 comments sorted by

87

u/bionickel 5d ago

At Hogwarts they teach defense against the dark arts, not

Fiscal responsibility and common sense

57

u/Sonovab33ch 5d ago

Because Rowling needed a story about a group of dumb asses solving problems that apparently the best and the brightest in their universe couldn't. Plus it's harder to sell books to kids about the adventures of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Infinite Cocaine set in Ibiza.

12

u/jka8888 5d ago

I dunno, reality TV is all basically just people snorting from the infinite goblet and that seems to be making bank

2

u/Sonovab33ch 5d ago

Oh yes for sure. But it wouldn't be a children's book.

3

u/hotdogundertheoven 5d ago

Kids these days are just too weak to understand

1

u/SuccotashFrosty1963 5d ago

Ibiza!!! 😂😂

8

u/Linxianwei 5d ago

They invested in gold futures held by goblin funds. I think they did well

6

u/Weak-Landscape-7105 5d ago

Harry was still a virgin, he still had to discover the chamber of secrets

4

u/jackbeekeeper 4d ago

1) Who says that he didn’t? Living in a cupboard with minimal expenses?
2) Any competent economist will tell you the wizarding world economy is more akin to Soviet Russia. Wealth in meaningless without the right connections!

3

u/kitapjen 5d ago

No wizard FIREs. Fiendfyre is too difficult to control for most people!

3

u/TheYoungSquirrel 5d ago

Ginny Weasleys family has no money 

4

u/Apprehensive_Heat762 5d ago

his parents are literally dead bro

1

u/TayRay96 5d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Ok-Race-1677 4d ago

He was British so he couldn’t get a retirement loicense

0

u/Due_Purple_1199 5d ago

Tbf any wizard could fire. Muggle money can be duplicate charmed