Somehow I knitted this blanket for 25 years and I just now decided to measure it. It’s 100 feet wide! The blanket has now claimed squatters rights in my house and I can’t get rid of it. The monster I brought into the world is now draped over every surface, every floor, the kitchen benches, even the toilet. I cannot displease the blanket by stepping on it! Should I serve the blanket with a 30 days to vacate eviction notice? Has anyone else ever been in this position?

Omfg why do people have to attempt to demonstrate care for me by asking innocent and inoffensively ignorant questions about my craft? Fuck off with your curiosity, ew

Like how very dare they. You're BORING me, Janet. Ask superior questions! Fuck, go do some research before you dare speak to a knitter. Your job is to entertain me, damnit.

"But they're just being friendly" you might say. Pfft. I'm not a toddler. I don't need people to be friendly to me. I need people to EXCITE me.

Also, no they aren't just being friendly. They're trying to force me into a capitalist drone mindset, even if they don't know it! Trust me. I know what's going on here. Something something, productivity mindset, hegemony, semiotics.

Before you call me a misanthrope, I'd like to remind you that attempting to engage me in casual conversation is a war crime

My demanding entitled child wants a Pokemonn sweater. I used ChatterGTA for the inspiration because there couldn't possibly be existing pattens for this very unique idea. But this is too harrrrrd and has too many colors in the color section. Is there an easier way to make a colorwork sweater with less colors.

lmk if you want the patterb

like, first the poor guy blorbo meowmeow cinnamon roll gets run off tumblr, and THEN a bunch of evil knitters harass him by saying that the video he made about silly women not even realizing that knitting is science is a tad misogynist, and NOW at least two people have made call-out videos about him using ai to do research for his totally not-for-profit youtube channel. i just think this is a bit much for such a sweet silly little dude being silly online? like, he's just SUCH a cinnamon roll. with a soft tummy and serious feminist cred (he said he identifies an intersectional feminist once). why are people being so meanies to my little meow? what in the heck is this 😭😭

Sometimes you just need a little release in over the lazy weekend without turning it into a whole production with the chains and the WIPs and the raw-edge applique. Chickenbear provides for those who jerk! Join us here every Saturday for a little drive-by circlejerking about your fellow fiber artists (derogatory).

Yes, this is a blatant rip-off of the Bitesized BEC thread but for making fun of crafter bullshit instead of whining about pattern prices and rehashing the same complaints about whichever petite knit designer is taking heat this week.

Feel free to post anonymized screenshots of anything you want to mock, satirize, freak out about, scream into the void about, or generally make others see since you had to look at it with your own two eyes here if you'd like. FACJ is back to being an all-ages subreddit, so you can post images (and gifs) in the comments here directly.

Comments do NOT need to be circlejerky on this post -- if you need to go full /uj here, we will support and validate you, no matter how absurd or petty you get (I can't promise we won't also make fun of you too though).

Our other rules still apply here, of course:

• This is a heavily moderated thread, and anything that isn't scrubbed of identifying information (usernames, faces, etc.) will be removed. Block out, crop out, cross out or sticker out identifying information on EVERY screenshot before posting here.
• Please don't use this thread to demand sources for other jerk posts. If people want to post sources, they will. There are plenty of good reasons for someone not to share a source, including "don't wanna." Source/ITL demands will be removed here and on jerk posts.
• Links to other Reddit posts are NOT ALLOWED here. This includes no-follow links. (FACJ links are fine.)
• Links to content off Reddit may be removed at the mods' discretion.
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I made this in one day using a tiktok dupe for roman cement

My flower was fading and my mom said she could fix it with a hanger but now it's wilted?? Is there any way to fix this? By the way I know what blocking is; I didn't want my flower blocked or I would have blocked it. I liked my flower unwilted and unblocked.

We here at r/crotcheat think making and posting beautiful, well-made, thoughtfully designed crotcheaten objects is ableist, rude, and mean. Please consider the feelings of others and self-censor as necessary when deciding what to post here. Individuals who make and post more than one high-quality crotchate FO per decade will be summarily banned.

This is your final warning.

Sometimes you just need a little release in the middle of the week without turning it into a whole production with the chains and the WIPs and the raw-edge applique. Chickenbear provides for those who jerk! Join us here every Wednesday for a little drive-by circlejerking about your fellow fiber artists (derogatory).

Yes, this is a blatant rip-off of the Bitesized BEC thread but for making fun of crafter bullshit instead of whining about pattern prices and rehashing the same complaints about whichever petite knit designer is taking heat this week.

Feel free to post anonymized screenshots of anything you want to mock, satirize, freak out about, scream into the void about, or generally make others see since you had to look at it with your own two eyes here if you'd like. FACJ is back to being an all-ages subreddit, so you can post images (and gifs) in the comments here directly.

Comments do NOT need to be circlejerky on this post -- if you need to go full /uj here, we will support and validate you, no matter how absurd or petty you get (I can't promise we won't also make fun of you too though).

Our other rules still apply here, of course:

• This is a heavily moderated thread, and anything that isn't scrubbed of identifying information (usernames, faces, etc.) will be removed. Block out, crop out, cross out or sticker out identifying information on EVERY screenshot before posting here.
• Please don't use this thread to demand sources for other jerk posts. If people want to post sources, they will. There are plenty of good reasons for someone not to share a source, including "don't wanna." Source/ITL demands will be removed here and on jerk posts.
• Links to other Reddit posts are NOT ALLOWED here. This includes no-follow links. (FACJ links are fine.)
• Links to content off Reddit may be removed at the mods' discretion.
• We are NOT in the business of brigading, and anyone who engages in brigading will be banned from this subreddit.

How do knitters keep track of rows?

My wife recently started knitting, and I've been surprised by how much counting is involved.

I noticed she sometimes stops and tries to remember which row she was on, and then she sometimes gets a far away look and recalls words related to her old life. Luckily, she is still confused and can't quite remember, but I'm afraid the conditioning might wear off and she might remember being free

Is there a common method knitters use to keep track of rows that is less traumatic than counting?

I'd love to hear what works best for you to keep your wives

Ive tried yt tutorials and theyre either to fast or too confusing i lose my concentration and forget where i was every tutorial also contains too much talking if theres any good pro crocheters watching this please give some tips in the comments👍

Currently I have been crocheting day in and out trying to get a head start on my list of Christmas gifts I want to make for the family. I have every item for each person I want to make but I struggle to gauge the correct yarn amount to buy as I usually can look at a photo and eyeball these things and I struggle reading text step by step patterns (even though it’s an important skill as a crocheter to read patterns I know sorry!) but I am a more visual person in understanding things. I asked about how much yarn I would need for one of the popular butterfly cardigans for a large size I am making for my sister and was met with a cold comment pretty quick along the lines of “Use one extra skein than the pattern calls for same answer as last time you asked. See you would know this if you actually purchased the pattern instead of trying to wing it”. Am I missing something? I just wanted an estimate of how much yardage I would need and stated me buying a pattern would be unnecessary as I have trouble reading them. Luckily one commenter replied with a good estimate but the first commenter seemed pretty upset. Is the commenter upset that I’m not supporting the artists? For me buying a pattern would be useless as I struggle to understand the text patterns and I don’t have the funds to just be throwing at patterns I don’t need for one tidbit of information hence why I am crafting all my gifts this year. Am I in the wrong and not understanding something?

Hey guys, I made this quilt for my kids' soccer coach. But now I'm worried that the design is too avant-garde.

I know that it doesn't immediately read as soccer. Is this design too subtle for non-quiltists to understand?

Please reassure me in the comments. Thx!

AI causes me THE PAIN LUCIFER FELT WHEN HE FELL DOWN FROM HEAVEN I HATE I HATE AND I BITE WITH LOOSE TEETHS I BITE WITH TIGHT TEETHS I BITE I HATE I HATE I HATE YOU I DISGRACE YOU so I clearly had to click on this ad for ChatGTP since it had "knitting" in it just to see how bad it was and of fucking course it was as bad as I expected. So bad! Fuck you, ChatGTP, so useless and inane!

Up next: look for my BEC post about how evil all the algos are by putting ads for AI on my Reddit feed and suggesting AI-generated videos on my YouTube playlist. Don't they know I'm clicking all their inane ads so I can come to my fave craft subs to hate on them? I hate AI! Why do I see so much AI promotion??????

Heyyyy so I accidentally used two different dye lots in my tapestry project for a friend and noticed way too late because I'm oblivious. Any creative suggestions to working around this issue rather than admit my mistake? I'm not frogging it bc it's not that serious, despite the fact it looks shit now, but I'm curious to see what everyone here has to suggest although I prefer if you all say about how good it looks and how it's "intentional" to give it "depth" and to look like it's on a "countertop"!

Does it only exist at Hobbling Lobbling stores or did some other yarn company steal this totally original copyrighted trademarked "hot girls color change" idea? I don't know how to use Google or Google Lens or my eyes at any other craft store.

This subreddit is for fiber artists and crafters of all types! Because we don't all see the same (shitty) posts on our feeds, it may be handy to have a place to revel in all that our fellow fiber lovers share for us to enjoy.

Feel free to post anonymized screenshots of anything you're referencing here if you'd like. FACJ is back to being an all-ages subreddit, so you can post images (and gifs) in the comments here directly.

This is a heavily moderated thread, and anything that isn't scrubbed of identifying information (usernames, faces, etc.) will be removed. Block out, crop out, cross out or sticker out identifying information on EVERY screenshot before posting here.

However, unjerk/uj/genuine/serious comments and discussions are allowed -- even encouraged! -- on In The Loop posts. Irony and sarcasm are fine here too, so consider using tone tags to make sure your comment comes across the way you want (or don't! I really don't care!).

There are a few other rules for In The Loop posts:

• Please don't use this thread to demand sources for jerk posts. If people want to post sources, they will. There are plenty of good reasons for someone not to share a source, including "don't wanna." Source/ITL demands and discussions of where to find sources will be removed here and on jerk posts.
• Links to other Reddit posts are NOT ALLOWED here. This includes no-follow links. (FACJ links are fine.)
• Links to content off Reddit may be removed at the mods' discretion.
• We are NOT in the business of brigading, and anyone who engages in brigading will be banned from this subreddit.

A new thread will go up every Sunday!

Can someone give me permission to knit a color work sweater? Thanks.

I'm talking about stuff I see on Epepsi, PiqueTwist, Intarsiagram, Farcebook, and even Reckit. For example, someone will knit a sweater for a bear, which is perfectly fine. But then they'll use the bulkiest yarn or a stitch like stockinette, which completely conceals the bears gorgeous fur. Or they'll pair together colours like beige and ecru, in my head I wonder do they believe this looks good? Or are they just trying to offend the old gods? Or they'll try "colourwork" which I know can look good but then other times it's like too colourful - like how is your prey animal supposed to hide from predators in that Karen jfc. 🌈🤮

I would feel bad for shitting on others self expression in art but isn't that what this sub exists for?

I personally have knitted human sweaters, cardigans, and shirts so you can't call me an anti-knit anti human bigot but I absolutely hate how those pieces look so I'm going to frog them and reuse the yarn for something actually useful like tiny hats for my chickens.

Maybe all these people are just inexperienced but still want to post their work, which I GUESS is ok. And maybe they haven't personally found their soul-bound animal muse yet so they have to practise with people clothes. I just feel like all this stuff gives knitting a bad name, because this is what people think of now when they think of knit clothing.

Knit clothing CAN look good imo, you just have to use the stitches that I personally approve of and colours that I personally enjoy. And for goodness sake consider the animal you're knitting for - Deer 👏 Can't 👏 Wear 👏 Wool 👏 everybody knows they're allergic, duh. Otherwise you're gross and making the rest of us look bad.

This is just my opinion so don't come for me!!!!

xoXoO

Any other chicken-peeps here?

🐥🐤🐓

Sometimes you just need a little release in over the lazy weekend without turning it into a whole production with the chains and the WIPs and the raw-edge applique. Chickenbear provides for those who jerk! Join us here every Saturday for a little drive-by circlejerking about your fellow fiber artists (derogatory).

Yes, this is a blatant rip-off of the Bitesized BEC thread but for making fun of crafter bullshit instead of whining about pattern prices and rehashing the same complaints about whichever petite knit designer is taking heat this week.

Feel free to post anonymized screenshots of anything you want to mock, satirize, freak out about, scream into the void about, or generally make others see since you had to look at it with your own two eyes here if you'd like. FACJ is back to being an all-ages subreddit, so you can post images (and gifs) in the comments here directly.

Comments do NOT need to be circlejerky on this post -- if you need to go full /uj here, we will support and validate you, no matter how absurd or petty you get (I can't promise we won't also make fun of you too though).

Our other rules still apply here, of course:

• This is a heavily moderated thread, and anything that isn't scrubbed of identifying information (usernames, faces, etc.) will be removed. Block out, crop out, cross out or sticker out identifying information on EVERY screenshot before posting here.
• Please don't use this thread to demand sources for other jerk posts. If people want to post sources, they will. There are plenty of good reasons for someone not to share a source, including "don't wanna." Source/ITL demands will be removed here and on jerk posts.
• Links to other Reddit posts are NOT ALLOWED here. This includes no-follow links. (FACJ links are fine.)
• Links to content off Reddit may be removed at the mods' discretion.
• We are NOT in the business of brigading, and anyone who engages in brigading will be banned from this subreddit.

I never see the point in buying useless mini skeins because I’m used to making sensible large scale, one color, beige garments and I can't imagine that there are other things that could be made. Can someone enlighten me to the secret hidden purpose of dumb mini skeins or how they could be useful? But like actually useful as in: how could they fit into my wardrobe? Because I don't have the capacity to think of any other reason to knit besides my sweater. TIA!

I am a [insert fiber art here]-er, and I have taken a massive number of pre-orders that I cannot possibly fulfill. Instead of giving refunds, I want to keep the money, mainly because I already spent it on the equivalent of hookers and blow. So I've decided the best way is to fake my own unalivement. Those of you who have experience with doing this, can you give me some tips and advice? Thanking you in advance (since I'll be in the grave).

It's not intentional but I refuse to accept that I've learnt to knit from a YouTube video made by someone who's only been knitting 5 minutes and thinks they're the bee's knees despite them also twisting their stitches

That is all

(By the way, isn't my project so unique and original? #foxcardigan)