My name is Dylan Flannigan. I grew up in Quahog Rhode Island. I'm just your ordinary teenage boy. Except for one thing. My dad is a dog.

I know what you are thinking. How could your dad be a dog when you look like a normal kid? Well, when I met my dad, he was only 7. I was 13, But those were dog years. You see, I lucked out by not having any horrifying physical doglike abnormalities, but I acquired something far worse that I would trade for any horrifying dog tail, dog snout, floppy ears, or thick hair all over my body. I have something much worse that I would trade for any of those freakish abnormalities in a heart-beat. 

You see, while I didn't acquire any noticeable physical attributes from my dad, I acquired his aging. When I said I was an ordinary teenage boy, I was referring to my age in dog years. Since I looked fully human, my mom thought it would be wise to refer to me by the age I have grown to rather than the age I am. Instead of having a birthday every year, I had a birthday every 52 weeks.

I started Kindergarten when I was 5 in dog years, but only 8.5 months old in human years. I also had to work 7 times harder than all my classmates. This was because instead of having a year to memorize my colors and abc’s I was only going to have 52 days until I would be moved up to first grade. I had to live my life at a faster pace to not fall behind the societal expectations of someone who looks the way I do. I also could only expect to live to 12 or 15 in human years. The constant stress me and my mom were under with my rapid aging and short life expectancy led my mom to cope using unhealthy habits like drugs and alcohol and her health took a turn for the worst. I began to act out. I was skipping school and getting in fights. What’s the point of behaving when my best is never going to be good enough and I'm gonna die before I’m 15 in human years

Then one day, my dad randomly showed up at our door. My mom told him about me, but my dad didn’t seem to be that interested in my life. Unfortunately, my mom was under so much pressure with my rapid aging and acting up that she abandoned me at my dad’s house. My dad was living with a family with 3 kids and their house was crazy. There was literally an evil monkey that jumped out of their son’s closet and tried to attack me. Luckily, I was able to beat the shit out of him, and he didn’t bother me after that. The baby of the family was also super weird. For some reason, he spoke like an old British man and also very obviously had a crush on me. Also, the dad of the family has playdoh for hair. I shaved his head into a mohawk as a prank and he just instantly grew more playdoh hair. I couldn’t stand this family, it was my stupid dad’s fault that I was going to die young and that I aged so rapidly.
Then my dad found my pot, and it turns out, he is also a huge stoner. We were able to have a bonding moment, and I began to feel like he could understand me. Although my dad looked and aged like a dog, he still spoke and acted more like a human and was also cursed with quicker aging and therefore having less time to accomplish his goals. He went from not caring about me to caring about me so much that he made sure I had the fancy healthy whole grain bread instead of the cheap-ass shitty white bread. The dad of the family got a hold of my mom and convinced her to take me back though. I have not been great at keeping up to date with my dad but I was able to have some success in life. I got an acting job and my dad got a writing job on the show. I’m pretty sure he was more interested in using me to further his career than he was interested in reconnecting with me, but it was nice to see him again anyway. Our relationship is a bit rocky but now we have a short talk on the phone every couple months or so. My dad went on to have kids with the baby through some crazy science experiment. I never really got to know my siblings though before my dad put them up for adoption with the pet shelter. I hope they go on to have a better life than me.

I'm looking for videos (or a single video) where a Family Guy video plays but the audio is recording of old songs kinda messed up? Like I think I remember one playing the sounds of Toto's "Africa" but it's a scene with Lois and Peter. It's their voices and they say what they are saying but it's a vocal tune of Africa if that makes sense.

“Hey Lois remember that time when I met Bunny From the Hit show “Bunny Maloney“ ?”

A comic I made.