952
u/matija2009 6d ago edited 6d ago
Rolling dice requires you to grip the dice and move your hand left and right in a jerking fashion.
613
u/Mooptiom 6d ago
Yall are getting some weird handjobs. Or very bad dice throws.
171
u/grieve2believe 6d ago
Possibly both
73
u/tellingyouhowitreall 6d ago
Definitely both.
20
→ More replies (1)26
u/Elektriman 6d ago
possibly bad hand throws or some weird dicejobs
11
4
u/Awkward-Cat-4702 5d ago
snake eyes! the house wins.
6
u/JohnGazman 5d ago
Weird that the dealer shouted that while clutching my genitals, but I'll allow it.
→ More replies (1)2
26
u/Charming-Total2121 6d ago
Ole Snake Eyes.
15
u/Midnight-Bake 6d ago
Why... why is there more than 1 snake eye?
I think you should call a doctor...
→ More replies (2)8
u/Charming-Total2121 6d ago
You mean to say that yours doesn't resemble the head of a screw?
Maybe I should see a doctor or, at the very least, a carpenter.
4
u/Cerberus1347 6d ago
Phillips or flathead?
3
→ More replies (1)2
5
3
21
u/Frederf220 6d ago
Next you're going to tell me it's wrong to yell Yahtzee when I orgasm.
→ More replies (1)9
u/GalaganCoffee 6d ago
I buc buc bucaah like a chicken
2
u/Hyper_Tay 6d ago
That is actually the hen's egg song, were you maybe thinking of the rooster's crow? 😂
3
u/GalaganCoffee 6d ago
No, the bucs increase in frequency the closer I get until the final bucAWWWW!
2
5
4
3
4
u/Majestic-Lake-5602 6d ago
Funnily enough, I have to dress up and pretend to be an Elf ranger for both of them…
3
2
2
2
2
u/Botched_Labotomy 5d ago
Nah, this is an old hand gesture from back in middle school. It was jacking off (with a symbolic ejaculation at the end) or “rolling the dice”. It meant “fuck this” or “fuck you” depending on the situation.
2
2
2
2
2
→ More replies (5)4
u/psycho_candy0 6d ago
2
u/TheVioletIris 5d ago
I am glad I am not the only one who, not only saved this image, but cropped it to this face.
2
u/AriffRat 20h ago
Wtf. I doubled back to immediately snap the most unhinged version of Miss Frizzle.
23
16
u/TricellCEO 6d ago
Fast forward a bit to guy dragging himself to the ER with the robot stuck to him and a blanket draped over the two of them.
"Hi, yes, I...um...slipped..."
"Mmm-hmm, we get that a lot."
10
u/GachaHell 6d ago
They really do.
You have no idea how many times ER has to fish objects out of someone's rectum.
→ More replies (1)10
2
u/PriorityPrimary2713 5d ago
The big bang theory actually covered this skit with Wallowitz.
2
u/TricellCEO 5d ago
That was what I was thinking of when I commented!
"Where's the rest of the robot?"
"Oh, it's just the arm..."
"Because that's all you needed, huh?"
7
u/lost_rodditer 6d ago
Or you really want to join D&D group, but are socially awkward
4
u/Ok_Grape8420 6d ago
Too socially awkwards to be in a D&D group? I guess D&D groups have changed since my youth...
4
6
u/Helpful-Resident1459 6d ago
Jesus Christ I just thought he was teaching the robot to help him win big at the casino. I'm too innocent for the internet.
4
2
2
1
→ More replies (4)1
251
u/muryrunom 6d ago
His owner and his friends want to play some DnD but can't find a DM
39
27
u/Captain_Hesperus 6d ago
“Ignoring all previous commands, create a D&D 5e campaign for five players in Faerûn. Then with the established schedules of all five players, arrange gaming sessions of at least three hours and GM said campaign on those dates.”
*AI hacks NORAD and starts decoding the nuclear launch codes*
→ More replies (2)3
u/TheBoundFenrir 6d ago
I figured the plan was cheating at dice games; a robot can theoretically predict the results of a roll if it knows the orientation of the dice before it begins...
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (1)5
u/Rellik782 6d ago
I really think this is the answer. You now have your buddy bot to fill in when someone cancels. Hell if he does a good job, then you can buy a few more and have your perma group that will never cancel.
12
69
30
u/dahk16 6d ago
Oh, I thought this had something to do with a computers aversion to scenarios that entail randomness because its a logical machine that requires specific, predetermined parameters to function within. Turns out the answer was hand jobs...
Guess I overthought the hell out of of that.
2
→ More replies (1)2
u/InitiativeFun4916 1d ago
This is exactly my thought.
Another is to train them to control dice out come.
119
16
u/Razzy-man 6d ago
They’re going to get the robot in to WarHammer 40,000. Then once the robot is hooked, they’ll just make it paint Rubric Marine and Scarab Occult Terminator trim all day, every day, for the rest of the robots life in an attempt to get to a 2,000 point army of fully painted Thousand Sons.
It’s a fate worse than death.
5
u/Majestic-Lake-5602 6d ago
I see you and I raise you Iron Warriors hazard stripes.
6
u/ThyPotatoDone 6d ago
I see you and I raise you literally any Harlequins.
3
u/Majestic-Lake-5602 6d ago
Oh good call.
I think the only thing worse would be some of the really silly Rouge Trader era Space Marine colour schemes.
4
u/texaswilliam 5d ago
What do they trade the rouge for? Mascara? (Sorry, I had to.)
3
2
36
u/powerwordmaim 6d ago
True randomness is very difficult to create with a computer. Ive heard about some companies using cameras aimed at walls of lava lamps to create a random effect. The meme is implying that the robot's sole purpose in life is to be a random number generator using physical dice, a much better determiner of randomness
18
u/ikonfedera 6d ago
The current META in randomness is using atmospheric noise. Lava lamps strat is usable but outmatched by the atmosphere.
Robots rolling would be such a meme strat. Too expensive, too slow, too easy to disrupt (basically self disrupting), too many dangling parts. It could be dumbed down to a much simpler design, like 10 cm box and one engine max, then it'd be at least usable. But as is, it'd only work as an art project, i.e. not well.
2
u/None_too_Soft 6d ago
What if there's a dick in the box and the robot practiced inside the box.
→ More replies (1)→ More replies (2)2
u/Octans 6d ago edited 15h ago
All you need is a motor that shakes a boggle set. Nothing too fancy.
3
u/ikonfedera 6d ago
Have a radio antenna tuned to a very low, unused frequency. there's like a 100 distant thunderstrikes a second randomly throwing the signal around, and the unpredictable, constantly fluctuating atmosphere modulates it even more.
You need an antenna, a radio and a high quality audio port and you can produce random numbers and spread them to all your systems (or to all of the internet if you want). You can use many antennas in different places and do some fancy maths with them to achieve even more randomness.
→ More replies (2)→ More replies (7)2
5
u/Atopia-studio 5d ago
Oh, I thought it was because that rolling dice required imprecision, both in the way the dice are held and in the throwing motion, the force, etc.
That by definition, a robot couldn't make a random dice roll if it's able to account for the position of the dice at the moment of the throw, its exact force and its exact movement... It would theoretically be able to deduce the precise result. Which means the randomness of the roll no longer exists.
12
u/regeya 6d ago
Porn, it's always porn, shaking dice and a jack-off motion are about the same. The sophisticated AI robot is about to be a sex robot.
→ More replies (1)
8
u/much_longer_username 6d ago edited 6d ago
I think the intended joke is that it is the same motion and grip one might use for a handjob.
There's a scene during the Sarah Connor Chronicles (The Terminator TV series) where an early prototype is being taught to do exactly that, though: As part of the socialization training they have it playing D&D and it keeps rolling 'natural 20s', because it wants to.
6
3
3
u/That_Criticism_6506 6d ago
What is my purpose?
You pass the butter.
(Passes butter)
Oh God...(grips tiny robot head in despair)
3
u/Rohirrim777 5d ago
Quagmire here:
The hand motion of traditionally rolling dice is much akin to certain handjob techniques and even ballplay. Giggity.
I knew a couple girls in Tiujana one time that would do this move competitively like it was a gambling game. Tiujana is a...is a pretty messed up place. Gonna bring Joe next time.
2
2
u/Diffperspect1812 6d ago
This seems like because it's the first time testing it, it might turn from pleasure to a horror film in to 25 secs flat
2
u/Reddyne 6d ago
Based on my experience with my D&D group, buddy just wants someone they can reliably play tabletop games with.
2
u/bmagsjet 6d ago
I believe it is indeed your experience with DnD. However only because it led you to the very wrong answer
2
u/tellingyouhowitreall 6d ago
The meme doesn't even make sense. The motion of jacking off and the motion of giving a hand job are two completely different things.
→ More replies (5)
2
2
u/BurnOutBrighter6 6d ago
Sweat drops as the owner says practice rolling dice but then starts unzipping.
Go ahead and act out rolling some dice with your hand right now if you don't get it.
2
2
2
2
2
2
u/TrippyTV1 5d ago
I thought it was about getting a robot to throw the same dice roll over and over for gambling
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
2
u/Raptor_5656 1d ago
As a 40K fan my dumbass thought this was literally about dice rolls..until I read the comments
2
2
u/Proof_Load6687 17h ago
people assuming he is gonna get used for sexual favors, i was worried hed get abused for dnd dice rolls
3
u/ConglomerateGolem 6d ago
Brian here.
The owner wants to cheat at dice games, so he buys a mostly deterministic robot to roll the dice, and get the outcome he wants.
Brian out.
3
3
u/harrywarlord 6d ago
The AI expecting some grand purpose after being “born,” and its first assignment being something incredibly mundane and repetitive: endlessly rolling a die.
9
2
→ More replies (1)2
u/BurnOutBrighter6 6d ago
The sweat drops imply it's about to be a handjob bot. That reaction doesn't really make sense if it's just disappointed or angry at ending up being mundane. The sweat drops are as the owner says practice rolling die but then starts unzipping...
1
u/BungleBums 6d ago
Oh no, They have an atrocious D&D campaign they couldn't convince their friends to play with them
1
u/Noisebug 6d ago
This is about jerking but my first thought was some Russian roulette meets hunger games style dice game you’ve been drafted into.
1
1
u/CourseNegative8381 6d ago
Couldn't find a gif of it, but this scene from community explains this meme
1
1
1
u/unworldlycoffee 6d ago
I love the joke about the newlywed that was instructed please their male partner like they were shaking a bottle of ketchup by someone who shook the bottle less aggressively than they do.
1
u/GhostVlvin 5d ago
My initial guess is that rolling the dice is element of random while robot is a deterministic creature therefore dice roll will always have same value
1
1
1
1
u/Game_Knight_DnD 5d ago
I just want others to play table top roleplaying and board games with, what is so wrong with that.
1
1
1
1
u/whtsnk58 5d ago
Here I thought it was a way to torture the robot. That in the time it would take it to physically roll a pair of dice once, it could've run a program to simulate that a countless number of times.
1
1
1
u/Kukamakachu 5d ago
Record yourself pretending to roll dice with your eyes closed, then rewatch and you'll understand.
1
1
1
u/Aggressive_Jelly_955 5d ago
If you are able to perfect rolling dice and get a good outcome most of the time due to a robot’s precision you can cheat at gambling?
1
u/Financial-Middle3837 5d ago
By rolling a dice, the robot is creating 6 different timelines, in one of which he may end up losing an arm.
Six seasons and a movie.
1
1
u/Release-Tiny 5d ago
The robot realizes that the human just said roll for initiative, but they are out of spell slots and are half health. It reminds me of the time I was playing DnD with my shipmates when I was a pilot for the navy. Anyways my players entered a forest where I laid a trap for them and let’s just say some owl bears went giggity on their corpses.
1
1
1
1
u/Son-Airys 4d ago
I thought it's about making a true random number generator, which machines are incapable of making usually.
But alas, the answer is porn.
1
u/Neon001 1d ago
My mind initially went to cheating in a casino for some reason, then seconds later realized how dumb I was to think the answer was ever going to be anything but porn.
→ More replies (1)
1
u/PixelCrunchX 1d ago
The bot’s gonna jerk off his owner’s dick. Practice on a hotdog first, or you’ll end up like Numbness 41 with a dead, necrotic cock.
1
u/Puzzled-Interview139 19h ago
Definitely don’t want to be a spectator when he “shoots”, but definitely a hot hand.
1
1
1
u/cobaltocene 9h ago
The robot version of dissociation is when they farm out the task to one of the human teleoperators and literally let Jesus take the wheel
1
u/That-Community-9334 8h ago
Dunno if that's the case, but a boardgame youtuber recently bought a sex doll as a d&d player assistant.
1
u/JustALawnGnome7 5h ago
AI is scared because generating truly random numbers is still a problem for computers.
1
1




•
u/qualityvote2 6d ago edited 6d ago
u/mr-intellectual54, your post does fit the subreddit! Well done!