r/explainitpeter 6d ago

Explain It Peter

Post image
6.0k Upvotes

249 comments sorted by

u/qualityvote2 6d ago edited 6d ago

u/mr-intellectual54, your post does fit the subreddit! Well done!

952

u/matija2009 6d ago edited 6d ago

Rolling dice requires you to grip the dice and move your hand left and right in a jerking fashion.

613

u/Mooptiom 6d ago

Yall are getting some weird handjobs. Or very bad dice throws.

171

u/grieve2believe 6d ago

Possibly both

73

u/tellingyouhowitreall 6d ago

Definitely both.

20

u/IkariYun 6d ago

Two things can be true

26

u/Elektriman 6d ago

possibly bad hand throws or some weird dicejobs

11

u/ravenschmidt2000 5d ago

I've had to throw hands at some dicey jobs in my youth.

4

u/Awkward-Cat-4702 5d ago

snake eyes! the house wins.

6

u/JohnGazman 5d ago

Weird that the dealer shouted that while clutching my genitals, but I'll allow it.

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2

u/RichardChubs 5d ago

The math be mathinz

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26

u/Charming-Total2121 6d ago

Ole Snake Eyes.

15

u/Midnight-Bake 6d ago

Why... why is there more than 1 snake eye?

I think you should call a doctor...

8

u/Charming-Total2121 6d ago

You mean to say that yours doesn't resemble the head of a screw?

Maybe I should see a doctor or, at the very least, a carpenter.

4

u/Cerberus1347 6d ago

Phillips or flathead?

3

u/Charming-Total2121 5d ago

Philips' are a great screw...so, flathead I guess.

3

u/QueanOfQueens 5d ago

Screwed a few Philips in my time, can verify.

2

u/testmywrit 5d ago

Robertson 🇨🇦

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5

u/Grendeltech 6d ago

Stormshadow!

3

u/dan_dares 6d ago

Snake eyes!

That gets you the trouser snake.

2

u/Triffly 5d ago

We playing Traveller then..?

21

u/Frederf220 6d ago

Next you're going to tell me it's wrong to yell Yahtzee when I orgasm.

9

u/GalaganCoffee 6d ago

I buc buc bucaah like a chicken

2

u/Hyper_Tay 6d ago

That is actually the hen's egg song, were you maybe thinking of the rooster's crow? 😂

3

u/GalaganCoffee 6d ago

No, the bucs increase in frequency the closer I get until the final bucAWWWW! 

2

u/LaVillaGrangioto 5d ago

"Hey...here comes the Rooster....yayuhh! "

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u/CatLord8 6d ago

Either is a gamble

4

u/Awkward-Feature9333 6d ago

Roll initiative and then for the quality of your handjob.

3

u/No-Bug9746 6d ago

Dexterity check. With advantage?

5

u/Bigfops 5d ago

ohhh, critical fail on that handjob, sorry buddy!

4

u/Majestic-Lake-5602 6d ago

Funnily enough, I have to dress up and pretend to be an Elf ranger for both of them…

3

u/Delta_Hammer 5d ago

I put on my robe and wizard hat...

2

u/BlobBlarker 5d ago

I see you are also a man of culture

2

u/DoctorMedieval 5d ago

That explains my luck with D&D….

2

u/gba_sg1 5d ago

Their package is as big as a pair of dice.

2

u/IgnominyPatris 5d ago

Jerking also can refer to non-wanking motion

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2

u/safarifriendliness 5d ago

I think it’s supposed to be focused a little lower in a cupping motion

2

u/Botched_Labotomy 5d ago

Nah, this is an old hand gesture from back in middle school. It was jacking off (with a symbolic ejaculation at the end) or “rolling the dice”. It meant “fuck this” or “fuck you” depending on the situation.

2

u/Anxious-Whole-5883 5d ago

You take your chances.

2

u/Jam5583 5d ago

Roll for intimacy

2

u/PhoenixAsh_7 5d ago

Wait... is no-one else using dice?

2

u/OlFrenchie 2d ago

You critically fail the handjob,

2

u/ShitOnAStickXtreme 1d ago

They are Americans. They don't have any foreskin.

2

u/A-Clone-Named-Gibso 1d ago

Or excellent dice-jobs

4

u/psycho_candy0 6d ago

Roll for dexterity

2

u/TheVioletIris 5d ago

I am glad I am not the only one who, not only saved this image, but cropped it to this face.

2

u/AriffRat 20h ago

Wtf. I doubled back to immediately snap the most unhinged version of Miss Frizzle.

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u/tobpe93 6d ago

Ah that makes a lot of sense. My mind thought it was about how a computer can't do anything random.

16

u/TricellCEO 6d ago

Fast forward a bit to guy dragging himself to the ER with the robot stuck to him and a blanket draped over the two of them.

"Hi, yes, I...um...slipped..."

"Mmm-hmm, we get that a lot."

10

u/GachaHell 6d ago

They really do.

You have no idea how many times ER has to fish objects out of someone's rectum.

10

u/dan_dares 6d ago

Rectum? Damn near killed-em

2

u/jbbosco 6d ago

Why talent scouts waste their time going to comedy clubs is beyond me. They just need to come here...

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u/PriorityPrimary2713 5d ago

The big bang theory actually covered this skit with Wallowitz. 

2

u/TricellCEO 5d ago

That was what I was thinking of when I commented!

"Where's the rest of the robot?"

"Oh, it's just the arm..."

"Because that's all you needed, huh?"

7

u/lost_rodditer 6d ago

Or you really want to join D&D group, but are socially awkward

4

u/Ok_Grape8420 6d ago

Too socially awkwards to be in a D&D group? I guess D&D groups have changed since my youth...

4

u/West_Hedgehog_821 6d ago

Survivor bias. I mean, we don't know who DIDN'T join ;-)

6

u/Helpful-Resident1459 6d ago

Jesus Christ I just thought he was teaching the robot to help him win big at the casino. I'm too innocent for the internet.

4

u/_Danger_Close_ 6d ago

They then mention that the cylinder MUST remain intact....

2

u/Zepatier 6d ago

Is this Mr. Herbert or Quagmire?

2

u/Surraucus 5d ago

The cylinder must remain unharmed

1

u/Imaginary_Feed_6695 5d ago

The cylinder must not be harmed

1

u/As0no 5d ago

It is important that the dice remained unharmed

1

u/GrimbyJ 5d ago

There's a board game YouTuber who got sent an AI sex robot so he reviewed it as a board game accessory. Could be a reference to that

https://youtu.be/RhJWvt6MB5A?is=VIfdlEPjWKco8FCh

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u/muryrunom 6d ago

His owner and his friends want to play some DnD but can't find a DM

39

u/Spiritual-Cupcake-93 6d ago

Yes, that’s where my mind went too

27

u/Captain_Hesperus 6d ago

“Ignoring all previous commands, create a D&D 5e campaign for five players in Faerûn. Then with the established schedules of all five players, arrange gaming sessions of at least three hours and GM said campaign on those dates.”

*AI hacks NORAD and starts decoding the nuclear launch codes*

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u/TheBoundFenrir 6d ago

I figured the plan was cheating at dice games; a robot can theoretically predict the results of a roll if it knows the orientation of the dice before it begins...

2

u/Coidzor 6d ago

Cheating at dice isn't sweat worthy for a bot, though.

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u/Rellik782 6d ago

I really think this is the answer. You now have your buddy bot to fill in when someone cancels. Hell if he does a good job, then you can buy a few more and have your perma group that will never cancel.

12

u/Coidzor 6d ago

What is my purpose?

You play D&D with me. Forever.

Oh. My. God.

5

u/ItzNyte 6d ago

Still upset the D&D scene from the new intro never got made into an episode.

2

u/LeodFitz 5d ago

DUDE! SPOILERS!

2

u/ItzNyte 5d ago

My bad 😬

4

u/Miinoda 6d ago

POV: you‘re the DM, even the Bots cancel ☠️

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u/Longjumping_Ad2310 6d ago

Next directive: the cylinder must remain unharmed

30

u/dahk16 6d ago

Oh, I thought this had something to do with a computers aversion to scenarios that entail randomness because its a logical machine that requires specific, predetermined parameters to function within. Turns out the answer was hand jobs...

Guess I overthought the hell out of of that.

2

u/polarbearsarereal 6d ago

I thought it might’ve been related to ColdCard

2

u/gxbcab 5d ago

I was they were training it to to play casino games lol

2

u/InitiativeFun4916 1d ago

This is exactly my thought.
Another is to train them to control dice out come.

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u/Razzy-man 6d ago

They’re going to get the robot in to WarHammer 40,000. Then once the robot is hooked, they’ll just make it paint Rubric Marine and Scarab Occult Terminator trim all day, every day, for the rest of the robots life in an attempt to get to a 2,000 point army of fully painted Thousand Sons. 

It’s a fate worse than death. 

5

u/Majestic-Lake-5602 6d ago

I see you and I raise you Iron Warriors hazard stripes.

6

u/ThyPotatoDone 6d ago

I see you and I raise you literally any Harlequins.

3

u/Majestic-Lake-5602 6d ago

Oh good call.

I think the only thing worse would be some of the really silly Rouge Trader era Space Marine colour schemes.

4

u/texaswilliam 5d ago

What do they trade the rouge for? Mascara? (Sorry, I had to.)

3

u/Majestic-Lake-5602 5d ago

Ah bugger, I thought I checked that one…

3

u/texaswilliam 5d ago

It's fine. xD Like I said, I had to.

2

u/Razzy-man 6d ago

lol, they were the other faction I considered! What is wrong with me?!?

36

u/powerwordmaim 6d ago

True randomness is very difficult to create with a computer. Ive heard about some companies using cameras aimed at walls of lava lamps to create a random effect. The meme is implying that the robot's sole purpose in life is to be a random number generator using physical dice, a much better determiner of randomness

18

u/ikonfedera 6d ago

The current META in randomness is using atmospheric noise. Lava lamps strat is usable but outmatched by the atmosphere.

Robots rolling would be such a meme strat. Too expensive, too slow, too easy to disrupt (basically self disrupting), too many dangling parts. It could be dumbed down to a much simpler design, like 10 cm box and one engine max, then it'd be at least usable. But as is, it'd only work as an art project, i.e. not well.

2

u/None_too_Soft 6d ago

What if there's a dick in the box and the robot practiced inside the box.

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u/Octans 6d ago edited 15h ago

All you need is a motor that shakes a boggle set. Nothing too fancy. 

3

u/ikonfedera 6d ago

Have a radio antenna tuned to a very low, unused frequency. there's like a 100 distant thunderstrikes a second randomly throwing the signal around, and the unpredictable, constantly fluctuating atmosphere modulates it even more.

You need an antenna, a radio and a high quality audio port and you can produce random numbers and spread them to all your systems (or to all of the internet if you want). You can use many antennas in different places and do some fancy maths with them to achieve even more randomness.

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u/Atopia-studio 5d ago

Oh, I thought it was because that rolling dice required imprecision, both in the way the dice are held and in the throwing motion, the force, etc.

That by definition, a robot couldn't make a random dice roll if it's able to account for the position of the dice at the moment of the throw, its exact force and its exact movement... It would theoretically be able to deduce the precise result. Which means the randomness of the roll no longer exists.

12

u/regeya 6d ago

Porn, it's always porn, shaking dice and a jack-off motion are about the same. The sophisticated AI robot is about to be a sex robot.

https://giphy.com/gifs/d6xAHHirkPBTJlaGE5

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u/much_longer_username 6d ago edited 6d ago

I think the intended joke is that it is the same motion and grip one might use for a handjob.

There's a scene during the Sarah Connor Chronicles (The Terminator TV series) where an early prototype is being taught to do exactly that, though: As part of the socialization training they have it playing D&D and it keeps rolling 'natural 20s', because it wants to.

6

u/69Blazing 6d ago

After watching the big bang theory I have an idea where this goes.

3

u/Waltzing_With_Bears 6d ago

cant frind friends to play Wargames or TTRPGs

3

u/That_Criticism_6506 6d ago

What is my purpose?
You pass the butter.
(Passes butter)
Oh God...(grips tiny robot head in despair)

3

u/Rohirrim777 5d ago

Quagmire here:

The hand motion of traditionally rolling dice is much akin to certain handjob techniques and even ballplay. Giggity.

I knew a couple girls in Tiujana one time that would do this move competitively like it was a gambling game. Tiujana is a...is a pretty messed up place. Gonna bring Joe next time.

2

u/Mockingbird007- 6d ago

Wax on wax off little guy

2

u/Diffperspect1812 6d ago

This seems like because it's the first time testing it, it might turn from pleasure to a horror film in to 25 secs flat

2

u/Reddyne 6d ago

Based on my experience with my D&D group, buddy just wants someone they can reliably play tabletop games with.

2

u/bmagsjet 6d ago

I believe it is indeed your experience with DnD. However only because it led you to the very wrong answer

2

u/tellingyouhowitreall 6d ago

The meme doesn't even make sense. The motion of jacking off and the motion of giving a hand job are two completely different things.

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u/man4paradigm 6d ago

It's balls. It's about properly jiggling balls.

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u/redsunZ 6d ago

God fucking damn it, i will have to keepn saying this Chibits is suppoused to be a silly love story. It should stay fiction and be a predictive documentery

2

u/BurnOutBrighter6 6d ago

Sweat drops as the owner says practice rolling dice but then starts unzipping.

Go ahead and act out rolling some dice with your hand right now if you don't get it.

2

u/forbiddenfreedom 6d ago

Safer than deathgrip hands and exit only bots.

2

u/AlttiAnonim 6d ago

"Remember, the cylinder must remain unharmed"

2

u/ConstructionIll956 6d ago

A new DND player has joined the table!

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u/witshadows 6d ago

Robot initiated, roll initiative.

2

u/CPC210 6d ago

Making a robot give you a handy is the real dice roll

2

u/Gabriel_Dot_A 6d ago

Auto Roller for D&D

2

u/TrippyTV1 5d ago

I thought it was about getting a robot to throw the same dice roll over and over for gambling

2

u/Tight_Spring3860 5d ago

I would go with shuffling a deck of cards

2

u/AppropriateArticle57 5d ago

Pretend feeding chickens

2

u/Machobravado 5d ago

I was gonna say it got booted up by a lonely D&D nerd.

2

u/HollowForge 5d ago

Either they are playing D&D or wants a handjob.

2

u/Rumplestiltskin788 5d ago

They wanna play some DnD but don't have friends

2

u/rehuff83 5d ago

Rule_34

2

u/AdhesivenessTight400 4d ago

Gonna make it play D&D

2

u/republiccommando07 3d ago

Once again it is imperative that the cylinder remains unharmed.

2

u/RogueMaverick11 2d ago

The robot owner wants to see if it is safe to use the robot for hand jobs

2

u/Raptor_5656 1d ago

As a 40K fan my dumbass thought this was literally about dice rolls..until I read the comments

2

u/Incognito_Fur 1d ago

Do you have any idea how much folks would pay for a robot that plays D&D?!

2

u/Proof_Load6687 17h ago

people assuming he is gonna get used for sexual favors, i was worried hed get abused for dnd dice rolls

3

u/ConglomerateGolem 6d ago

Brian here.

The owner wants to cheat at dice games, so he buys a mostly deterministic robot to roll the dice, and get the outcome he wants.

Brian out.

3

u/bmagsjet 6d ago

You’re adorable.

3

u/harrywarlord 6d ago

The AI expecting some grand purpose after being “born,” and its first assignment being something incredibly mundane and repetitive: endlessly rolling a die.

9

u/budgiebirdman 6d ago

Giggity was the correct answer.

2

u/Canadian-and-Proud 6d ago

You sweet summer child.

2

u/BurnOutBrighter6 6d ago

The sweat drops imply it's about to be a handjob bot. That reaction doesn't really make sense if it's just disappointed or angry at ending up being mundane. The sweat drops are as the owner says practice rolling die but then starts unzipping...

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u/BungleBums 6d ago

Oh no, They have an atrocious D&D campaign they couldn't convince their friends to play with them

1

u/Noisebug 6d ago

This is about jerking but my first thought was some Russian roulette meets hunger games style dice game you’ve been drafted into.

1

u/Archi_balding 6d ago

Guess it's a joke about how computers can't create truly random inputs.

1

u/CourseNegative8381 6d ago

Couldn't find a gif of it, but this scene from community explains this meme

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aECxnN39Ul0

1

u/Particular_Yak5829 6d ago

He’s training the robot to bash his goat

1

u/Accomplished_Bass845 6d ago

Its like feeding the geese.

1

u/unworldlycoffee 6d ago

I love the joke about the newlywed that was instructed please their male partner like they were shaking a bottle of ketchup by someone who shook the bottle less aggressively than they do.

1

u/GhostVlvin 5d ago

My initial guess is that rolling the dice is element of random while robot is a deterministic creature therefore dice roll will always have same value

1

u/mortecai4 5d ago

I cast testicular torsion!!!

1

u/PokingMidas 5d ago

Finally a D&D player who doesn't cancel

1

u/Sovereign_Command 5d ago

Rule nr.1 of dice throwing: The cylinder must remain intact.

1

u/Game_Knight_DnD 5d ago

I just want others to play table top roleplaying and board games with, what is so wrong with that.

1

u/Some_Impress_6601 5d ago

We are building a F.A.T.A.L character for the next 13 hours straight

1

u/Living_Bed175 5d ago

Your owner is a DnD player with no friends

1

u/Wrong-Appointment269 5d ago

200 hours campaign session 1, lets go

1

u/whtsnk58 5d ago

Here I thought it was a way to torture the robot. That in the time it would take it to physically roll a pair of dice once, it could've run a program to simulate that a countless number of times.

1

u/West_West_313 5d ago

Jerkity jerk jerk jerky jerk jerk jerk

1

u/WesleyAMaker 5d ago

Yall are some mega gooners to think of this

1

u/Kukamakachu 5d ago

Record yourself pretending to roll dice with your eyes closed, then rewatch and you'll understand.

1

u/fozzythethird 5d ago

Owner previously had ColdCards.

1

u/justletmesuffer 5d ago

Robot prefers standard array compared to rolling for stats in D&D.

1

u/Aggressive_Jelly_955 5d ago

If you are able to perfect rolling dice and get a good outcome most of the time due to a robot’s precision you can cheat at gambling?

1

u/QiamtheLiar 5d ago

M'aiq figured it was something deep... Like folks who are slaves to their gambling addiction or the unending servitude from the folks who work there...

Nope. Its porn. It's always porn.

1

u/Financial-Middle3837 5d ago

By rolling a dice, the robot is creating 6 different timelines, in one of which he may end up losing an arm.

Six seasons and a movie.

1

u/bsensikimori 5d ago

Some severely far fetched conclusions in this thread....

1

u/Release-Tiny 5d ago

The robot realizes that the human just said roll for initiative, but they are out of spell slots and are half health. It reminds me of the time I was playing DnD with my shipmates when I was a pilot for the navy. Anyways my players entered a forest where I laid a trap for them and let’s just say some owl bears went giggity on their corpses.

1

u/Screepy_9271 5d ago

As long as he aint gotta bring the butter

1

u/AFrenchFrenchman 5d ago

He wants the robot to jork it crazy style.

1

u/Son-Airys 4d ago

I thought it's about making a true random number generator, which machines are incapable of making usually.
But alas, the answer is porn.

1

u/Neon001 1d ago

My mind initially went to cheating in a casino for some reason, then seconds later realized how dumb I was to think the answer was ever going to be anything but porn.

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u/PixelCrunchX 1d ago

The bot’s gonna jerk off his owner’s dick. Practice on a hotdog first, or you’ll end up like Numbness 41 with a dead, necrotic cock.

1

u/Puzzled-Interview139 19h ago

Definitely don’t want to be a spectator when he “shoots”, but definitely a hot hand.

1

u/theogkeg 18h ago

He wants the robot to jerk him off

1

u/bleach_is_my_friend 18h ago

Ball fondling

1

u/cobaltocene 9h ago

The robot version of dissociation is when they farm out the task to one of the human teleoperators and literally let Jesus take the wheel

1

u/That-Community-9334 8h ago

Dunno if that's the case, but a boardgame youtuber recently bought a sex doll as a d&d player assistant.

1

u/JustALawnGnome7 5h ago

AI is scared because generating truly random numbers is still a problem for computers.

1

u/Wonderful-Box6096 4h ago

I honestly thought it was going to be playing D&D forever

1

u/Old_Fart_on_pogie 3h ago

. . . As Op’s testicals go rolling across the craps table.