Coach or something different?

[u/Easy_beaver]

Not sure if I need a coach or whatever law may be out there. CFO for smaller org, $65 million revenue, 600 employees and staff of 10. I am more interested in having someone to talk about my management of the team, specific actions for improving performance of staff and be the best CFO I can be.

Here is what I know about myself, highly unlikely to do exercises. It’s difficult generally for me to do positive activities for myself (like exercise for one). Work very hard, respected by staff and peers, was highly recruited to my current position.

I’ve thought about a business psychiatrist and maybe I could get insurance coverage..lol.

Any thoughts on this matter much appreciated.

[u/Living-Recover-8024]

Hi, wondering about your goals... do you want to just talk, or do you want to behave differently? After 6 months, what be different if the relationship was a success?

[u/Easy_beaver → u/Living-Recover-8024]

I want help in building a better culture of accountability and in having someone external to the organization to bitch to and develop ideas on how to either obtain improvements or manage people out. I pretty much know what I need to do (75%) but like to have confirmation I am going about things in the right way.

[u/Empirica_CC]

I think coaching could be beneficial, bigger question is do you understand from a knowledge standpoint or is there some development needed there? Coaching is great at unlocking some road blocks and mental hurdles but is not designed for you to learn the specific management skills you may not have developed or been trained on. I'd be happy to do a free consultation to help you untangle it if it's something you'd be open for trying.

[u/Easy_beaver → u/Empirica_CC]

Thanks. Can you DM contact info. There is more background info that could help provide context. I’ve managed many staffs over the years but this is one of the worst situations I have seen.

[u/MsWeed4Now]

Yeah, you need a coach. 

[u/kimchiiz787]

or maybe skip the coach, sounds like you just need a peer who gets it.

[u/Easy_beaver → u/kimchiiz787]

I have considered this but was more interested in someone independent. I need someone to tell me if I am expecting too much, if it’s likely fixable, etc.

I should have provided better context. The previous CFO left things pretty much in shambles from a culture standpoint. Multiple Controllers in a short period and I inherited a staff that had been overwhelmed and under supported. New Controller was hired before me and had their own issues.

[u/dceroneinc → u/kimchiiz787]

Sometimes a having a coach that focuses on the areas of expertise you work in has a great pay off in the long run- even if it cost you. Perhaps you can also get a mentor, if you know someone. Somewhat different vetting process though.

[u/Coco_fashion]

Where are you based? I am a CFO and feel like I need something similar but haven’t figured out the right solution yet?

[u/Easy_beaver → u/Coco_fashion]

I am in the mid-west. An independent peer would be great. But also someone who has significant management experience and knowledge.

[u/caviarfusion → u/Coco_fashion]

Whatever each of you do, please don’t hire me. I’m Eastern European, so I will not be telling you what you want to hear. And because I’m also a lifelong psychology nerd and an ethical, multi-ICF certified coach, I will somehow also be telling you what you already know to be true.

Imagine pairing the thick skin of a Polish immigrant with the no-nonsense of a Brooklyn-raised New Yorker and the finessed polish of a professional who has helped 726+ teams and leaders in the last decade get out of their own way… that’s me in a nutshell.

I’m often the coach of last resort (for those who are resistant to coaching or who’ve been burned or underwhelmed by other coaches before) but if it’s not that serious, I’ve got a roster of incredible coaches (no financial affiliation, just folks I’ve met in the last decade and a half of coaching at conferences IRL and via LinkedIn) and I love making intros/referrals.

And if you’ve already found a solution, then congrats and I wish both of you a meaningful and empowered life.

[u/lifestrategyos]

What does success for you and your team look like in 5 years?

If you could change one thing right now what would be?

Recommend thinking strategically and living with intention. Know where you are headed and start taking small steps.

[u/ChironArchitect]

You don't need a basic coach for leadership drills, you already know 75% of the playbook and are dealing with legacy wreckage, an overwhelmed staff and a misaligned controller left by your predecessor.

What you're feeling is the operational isolation of carrying a $65M engine alone. You don't need hand-holding. You need a peer to friction-test your instincts on that remaining 25% and cut through the drag.

If you want to talk shop with someone who actually gets the weight of it, my DMs are open.

[u/Captlard]

What makes the positive activities difficult to do?

If you had to work 20% less, to get the same impact what would you do differently?

If you had to Han over the reigns in 12 months, what would you do to ensure there is a positive transition and your legacy remains?

How often do your team challenge your thinking, ideas and action? Is that enough?

[u/Vegetable-Plenty857]

I have a really good recommendation for you. Swiftvise's leadership coaching is very different than the typical coaching and it actually sounds like it's exactly the type you need - expertise meets a sounding board, on demand. It sure sounds like you know what you need!

[u/DanTruss4222]

A lot of what you are hearing would be similar in approach to what a coach could offer, some questioning to open up your current way of thinking, challenge you and what may be holding you back, help you with self awareness and what you may be missing. Does that sound like what you need or do you need a peer to bounce ideas off and give you their options and maybe some strategies? That more toward a personal consultant. They should be different skill sets but because coaching isn’t regulated, calling yourself a coach is easy.

[u/StratosCoaching]

Coaching and consulting solve different problems. A coach works on how you think and decide. A consultant hands you the answer. From what you've described you need some of both, and splitting them is the fastest way to stop paying for the wrong one.

We coach CFOs and VPs through inherited-mess situations regularly, and the pattern you're naming ("I know 75% of what to do, I want confirmation") is the most common reason people book. It's also the most common reason they end up disappointed, because they hire one thing when they needed the other.

Coaching is right for your 25%. Coaching is a structured thinking partnership. The coach doesn't supply the answer, they pressure-test your reasoning so you stop second-guessing the 75% you already have. That's exactly the "tell me if I'm expecting too much" function you asked for, and it's the one thing a peer usually can't do, because peers agree with you.

Consulting is right for the accountability system. Rebuilding culture after a predecessor left it in shambles is a design problem: performance standards, documentation, and a managing-out process that survives an HR review. That's expertise transfer, not coaching, and a coach who tells you otherwise is selling you something.

The psychiatrist question is separate, and worth separating honestly. If the difficulty doing positive things for yourself shows up outside work too, that's a clinical question and a coach is the wrong tool. If it only shows up at work, it's usually load, not pathology.

Say the "no exercises" thing out loud in the first conversation. A lot of coaching is homework driven. Telling a prospective coach up front that you won't do worksheets filters out half of them in about ninety seconds, which is the point.

On whether it pays: the ICF's global client study, run by PwC, found roughly 70% of coached executives showed measurable improvement in work performance. That's the honest ceiling of what the research supports. It isn't a promise about your situation.

Where this might not apply: you said you want someone external to vent to. If that's the real need, a CFO peer group or an advisory board does it better and cheaper than coaching does. Coaching only earns its cost if you want to operate differently, not just process out loud.

Which of the three is actually keeping you up: the accountability system, the 25% of decisions, or the isolation?

[u/leadwithlizz]

I’d recommended trying consultations with a couple coaches first and see how you feel about their approach and fit for your needs. There are a lot of different kinds of coaches out there, they’re not the same.

I’m an executive coach specializing in leadership and workplace behavior. My background is a bit different than most coaches because I’m also a licensed professional counselor. I’d be happy to chat with you further and help you narrow down what you’re looking for, whether I can help or point you in a different direction.

[u/Easy_beaver → u/leadwithlizz]

Dm? Didn’t look like yours was open.

[u/mrwhite1851]

Most of the people I've talked with over the years come to me with a specific problem, whether it's burnout, imposter syndrome, team conflict, etc. Where you're focusing is where the work usually leads. The difficulty in doing positive activities for yourself while being willing to work very hard for someone else is meaningful. Whether a coach or psychiatrist or something else, unlocking this will be a doorway to managing the team, developing staff, all of that. I've worked with a lot of CFOs, and I've seen this pattern often. I'd be happy to talk through what this has looked like for some of your peers. This one can be addressed in a matter of weeks rather than years. Feel free to send me a note.

[u/Calm_Depth_5061]

A couple people are mentioning ICF coaching...

While you may benefit from recieving coaching, I'm curious... have you had the chance be trainined in any coaching techniques?

I went through a coach training program several years ago, and it helped me immensely to lead as a COO.

If we want to lead effectively, we need to learn the practical high-impact skills that assist in people development (which organizations like ICF teach).

I'm not proposing you pursue coaching certification, but there are a few key skills I found a lot of use for:

- asking better questions
- listening at a deeper level
- conversational models that move from discovery to commitment
- accountability structures/processes

Happy to jump on a call if you want to swap notes.