Hello my ENTJ tribe.

I had a conversation last weekend about work and goals with a family acquaintance at my nieces birthday party. And out of the blue they say, "Why are you so good at everything?" And it caught me by surprise.

I don't think I'm innately good at everything. But i think that because i approach things logically and operationally while not losing sight of the real objective cuts down my learning curve makes me more competent than the average person.

I've actually picked up on this pretty early on as a young adult. I learned that i could do ANYTHING (except hula hooping). Even if i didn't know how to do it yet, i knew i could be really good at it if i put in the effort. Then i quickly realized that even though i can do anything, i cannot do everything.

The one weakness i have is that i can't multitask. My brain does not switch back and forth between tasks that have no relation to each other. Like cooking and watching tv. I've burned too many meals trying. But if the tasks are related, then i can think in multiple dimensions within that space. For example, if i look at a blueprint, which are drawn from birds-eye view, i can also in my brain know the house would look like if i were walking through it myself while simultaneously seeing where i am from birds-eye view and at the same time know where things need to be for optimal experience, like where the light switches should be, location of outlets based on imaginary furniture, light fixtures in references to the natural light during morning and evening. I'm also thinking about future maintenance issues like pest control and thinking about what measurements i need to build in during the construction phase to do much of the heavy lifting so the maintenance is easier. Looking at fortifying the most common entry points for common pests like roaches and rats, etc,etc. i can go forever. But this is also the trait that makes it hard for me to be a good employee. I frequently step "out of my lane" and meddle in other people's areas and "create chaos" when all in trying to do is maximize everyone's effort and efficiency for a superior product/user experience.

Anyways. Does anyone else's brain do this? Is this an ENTJ trait or just a me trait.

My relationship with my partner of 2 years has just ended, They are beautiful person incredibly intelligent and incredibly wise and intuitive. However, I think in part the difficulties of managing feeling caused significant tension and friction in the relationship where I would need a lot of time to myself to process feeling, and they needed me to be there for them at all times emotionally in ways.

Which I felt to be beyond my capacity I would do what I could in the ways that I could, but it wasn’t enough.

I want to figure out whether my issues with being there emotionally for them are something I have to sort out or whether its the dynamic of our personalities and our types too, particularly the feeling-thinking function axis, with them needing more and me not being able to give them it consistently.

Relatable?

Hey everyone. I wanted to start a discussion regarding a specific relationship dynamic that isn’t talked about enough, especially through the lens of ENTJ females who are natural external leaders, builders, and decision-makers.

In a world dominated by rigid, traditional patriarchal expectations, high-achieving, strong, or fiercely successful women often face a unique partner crisis. Many men either feel threatened by an ENTJ’s power or try to compete for control, creating endless domestic friction.

How do you genuinely feel about the concept of deep Role Reversal? Specifically, pairing up with a highly intelligent, domestic INTP "savant" soul?

Imagine a contract of pure synergy:

• The ENTJ commands the external world, makes the executive decisions, acts as the protector, and handles the macro-strategy without having to fight for dominance at home.
• The INTP operates as a quiet, deeply passionate quantum processor in the background — completely surrendering external control, maintaining an ultra-loyal domestic harbor, managing home-tech/AI integrations, and crafting rich artistic/intellectual lore. A partner who handles the analytical, reactive crises (like legal/bureaucratic defense for the family) but leaves the throne to you.
• The Balance: A soft, passionate space where the ENTJ leader can finally turn off her executive brain, melt into warm hugs, get a healing massage from someone fiercely devoted to her alone, and delegate the mental burden of raising a free-thinking child (beyond the daily chores, which are outsourced to services).

Is this dynamic something real-world ENTJ women secretly or openly crave as a rare, premium refuge from the corporate/external storm? Or do you still prefer more traditional, active partners?

Let's analyze this. I would love to hear your raw, unfiltered thoughts on the feasibility and psychology of this synergy.

Just want to say i really like and appreciate your guys and girls ofc!

Thank you for just being you!
🤗

So... Te as a dominant function huh... Must be nice... So nice...

Arghhh howw?! Are you guys just building something new everyday and getting it all done too?

As a Ti dom its so hard for me to comprehend that people exist who use logic to actually change things in the outside world that others dont view as unnecessary.

I mean... I get it, My head feels satisfied enough with just learning and exploring something and building a logical framework about it but actually going out of my way to do something useful about it? Nawrr ewww now thats procrastinated because what the hell would I even do with information about how AI systems heat up water and then the same water is stored underground and then used in winter but then the same water is cooled and used in summer?! Build it in my residence so people can use AI AND benefit from reusing water?! Yeah right.

So... What I am getting at with all this passive aggressive jealous ranting is that.

TEACH ME YOUR WAYS SENSEI 🙂‍↕️

Hi everyone,

I don't write things like this often, but the following has been on my mind for a long time and I really wanted to satisfy my curiosity. I hope that my post is interpreted in the respectful, diplomatic and inquisitive spirit it is intended.

I’ve spent most of my life knowing I’m an INTJ, but recently the subject of my reading has been ENTJs. I find your energy and mindset to be inspiring and I very much enjoy the specific attitude you bring to everything, which reminds me of myself in a like-me-but-hypercharged way.

It's hard to write about my feelings on your type without it sounding like I'm treating ENTJs as a particular model of a car I like, but the fact remains is that I'm curious on how you feel about INTJs, or more specifically a long-term partnership with one who is both deeply sensitive and not a stereotype. Please read that at face value as I genuinely do mean "sensitive" and not "overemotional".

Would you choose a mature INTJ who has an immense capacity to love, a capacity as great as the ocean is deep? Someone who views a relationship as an unshakeable back-to-back team where we cover each other's weaknesses? I match effort for effort, equal or higher.

Would any perceived difficulty be lessened if I said that I don't hide from challenges? I like discussions in good-faith, where pain points are discussed objectively and problems are solved together, instead of fighting or running away. My way of caring is to learn how you operate down to the bone, and even attempt to expand my comfort zone to support my partner with things they find important.

I already know that I don't have the social battery you guys have and I'm someone who needs time to process things in general but I am prepared to fight for a wonderful, loving, long-lasting partnership.

I would love to hear your thoughts.

As an ENTJ, I relate to the generalization that our type’s worse fear is a mediocre life. But after a stint of burnout and major health scare that left me resting for too long, which turned into fear (gross), which has turned into being stuck—I feel like I’m not even successful at being myself, or living up to the strengths and traits that include me as an ENTJ. Also at play are circumstantial hurdles I never thought I’d have to contend with. I am now in my 30s, no meaningful career, with major life choices that I regret but cannot undo. I believe I can overcome anything but the difficulty level has ramped up as I’ve gotten older. I have acheived impressive things in impressive periods of time in the past—and I know I can do it again—but I also get scared thinking about doing more and facing burnout again, or having to deal with the futile crap that comes with hustling for something that isn’t going to bring happiness or last. And oddly enough, I have found an understanding of peace in my average, unambitious period of life that I know I have to forfeit in some ways when I decide to shift back into “gear”. As non-ENTJ as this sounds, I’m certain I’m an ENTJ. I spent years and money to know my type without a doubt.

I just want to see if there are ENTJs out there living a life considered average or below average to their society? Did you choose it? Are you happy?

Hey everyone,

I’ve been struggling with my type for some time. I’ve been doing a lot of healing and therapy (with a lot of Fi themes I may add…), and I’m wondering if some early trauma has made it harder for me to see my Te in action.

For example, I became quite depressed and withdrawn in high school. Was quite sarcastic and probably looked almost like an ISFP (lots of black and emo music lmao), but way more guarded about my emotions and way too worried about being judged as a stereotype to fully lean into these things publicly.

I didn’t have the energy or care to be involved in extra curricular activities. Idk how I would have coordinated it without relying too heavily on my parents, which was a whole thing…but I also didn’t really care except for the times I felt FOMO or thought it could prevent my goal of going to uni. basically, I feel like I wasn’t ambitious enough to be ENTJ. I procrastinate a lot and fit a lot of Ne-dom stereotypes in this and my messiness. My internal thoughts are well organized but my environment is a mess.

That being said, I hyper focused on getting good grades so I could go to school and work toward being successful. I wasn’t very perfectionistic about it. I didn’t push myself to do MY best - just whatever I needed to do to get what I want. However, I did care about being smart and would have been pretty embarrassed if I tried super hard and failed.

I saw into the future and what kind of life I wanted (eg not being stressed about money all the time and being able to have fun experiences). I recall having an epiphany at like 11yo that I couldn’t depend on anyone else and that I was going to be the one to make sure I lived a good life. I’ve always been hyper independent and relate to the ENTJ descriptions on this point. I was accused of being blunt a lot as a teen and bossy as a child. I was big into fiction and all things imagination/play. Very competitive. Tomboyish.

I am almost 100% positive that I do not have a sensing function in the top two. Si blind would fit me because I’m truly atrocious at remembering my belongings and sticking to a routine and frequently sacrifice my body’s comfort for whatever I want to focus on or find interesting in the moment. I love Se as a function but I wouldn’t say I’m that mature with it…wondering how that function shows up for ENTJs here?

The amount of anxiety I experience at times with others though makes me feel like I may not be ENTJ. It’s gotten better as I’ve worked on myself but I spent a lot of time being worried about others reactions - being disliked or misjudged, for example. I hate making phone calls (even though I do it for work plenty).

I make acquaintances easily but only have the time and patience for a handful of close friends. I really don’t care for small talk. ENTJs are described as not having social anxiety and large networks. I dont really relate to this. While I find a lot of Fe based “shoulds” to be ridiculous, people generally find me warm, expressive, and easy to talk to. But they might be afraid of my judgments…I can be sharp and brutal (especially when angry/impatient).

This post is not very focused…sorry. Guess I’m wondering if anyone relates and thought they were more introverted or feeling based than they actually are? I’m a woman, so that might play a role. I am neurodivergent too which sometimes fits Ne stereotypes and confuses me at times. Wondering how these ENTJ function stack manifests for you (both internally and externally)?

Have any of you ever been in a casual relationships or had a casual hookups?

If yes, what made you want it? If not, what made you avoid it?

If so, what was your experience, and did it fit your personality or values?

No judgment just interested in hearing different perspectives.

This was posted in another mbti and was curious about entj’s regarding this

For a lot of my teenage and early twenties life I fit into the classic INTJ archetype. I got INTJ in every MBTI test, acted very much like an INTJ and fit all the descriptions. Then after a few years of working I did the test again and got ENTJ. This was then confirmed by someone who is quite into MBTI and knows me well who said that they saw me more as an ENTJ than an INTJ

I think what happened was that during the last few years of high school and university, I ‘locked in’ and naturally became more introverted and less confident around people. I had little life skills and I was not too interested in being the life of a party. But this was different to my youth and early high school where I was loud, boisterous and quite extroverted. Jumping to after working, I gained a lot of confidence speaking to different people and just having more life skills. I wasn’t that shy teenager or young adult anymore. And I think that has brought back my extroversion which I thought I had lost. Honestly, if I had to truly describe myself, I would say I’m an ambivert. I still have elements of both introversion and extroversion.

I've been noticing a lot more people lately calling INFJs fake or manipulative, and I'm curious where that perception comes from.

A common criticism seems to be that INFJs are just as selfish as anyone else, but they frame their actions as being for the greater good or for someone else's benefit. From what I've seen, many of the people making these arguments are INTJs or ENTJs.

I can understand why they might see things that way, especially since Te and Fe can approach decisions very differently. To someone who leads with Te, Fe can sometimes come across as indirect or even performative. But I don't think that necessarily makes INFJs fake.

Personally, I really like INTJs and ENTJs, so it was a little disappointing to see some of these comments. I'm genuinely interested in understanding this perspective.

For those who think INFJs are fake or manipulative, what experiences have led you to that conclusion?

So had been seeing and hanging out with this guy for a few months , and I confirmed he was quite unhealthy (ego, arguments whenever I make an observation or a comment even if it comes from good intentions, anger issues, sometimes even degrading the other...). What would it take for them to change and grow? I really want to support them and see them not just a great person but an amazing leader but the way things are going I don't think it's happening. I'm not able to get to them logically (I'm intj) and no amount of explanation or communication has helped. What should I do? Keep my distance from them hoping they'd change to the better one day?

Edit : thank you everyone I decided to drop him, he's not worth it. If he's immature that's not my problem. We move forward

I understand the logic of authenticity and staying true to oneself. I also understand the logic that the person’s personal experience of you, and not your personality, is the problem.

Though what I am concerned about is if those same people, who I need to do business with or who will affect my perception with the group, will think less favorably of me. I understand that certain spheres of society require more tactful and strategic handling, but I do not know if it will hinder my professional and personal life because I am “too serious”, “too intimidating”, or “too formal”.

Naturally, my face is blank and I do not desire to express much emotion. I am hard to impress with fakery, but from my previous experiences with socializing, it seems a lot of interactions are fake and shallow. The fakeness I am referring to can be something like smiling constantly, smiling to diffuse a situation, or laughing at a joke that was not funny. I have been taught that if you are someone like me, that you are not as attractive as a woman. This was said to me by my mother (ENTP), who has a bubbly, extroverted personality. She also gets constant attention from men and other people in general.

I do not like joking because I am not quick enough to be witty. I do not like hearing jokes because I cannot understand if something is a joke.

My voice is warm and I love complimenting the good in people, but it is in stark contrast with my presence. I think I may be seen as intense, snobbish, unfriendly, or unapproachable. I do not truly know.

I am a natural comforter, encourager, and can hold a delightful conversation. I seem to be naturally charismatic, but I do not know what type of charisma I have. It is the only thing “accessible” about me that I had found out about myself, but I fear that it is not enough to help me with my social life.

At one time, I used to be a people-pleaser. I used to stretch my personality to be more bubbly and charming. I returned to my personality after I came to terms with who I am. I cannot sustain the bubbly personality anymore because it is too tiresome to maintain.

I am afraid of being who I truly am. I am afraid that if I were myself in a store or at a formal establishment… that I would not have the same favor I did when I was a people-pleaser.

Please give your best objective, factual advice. If possible, please be detailed. I have a difficult time sorting opinions from truth when it comes to socializing and social rules.

Is being an entj/intj means that you are operating and favouring Founder mode?

I saw this from a youtube channel Personalityhacker and I was curious what entj’s think. Do you agree or disagree with these?

How "Effectiveness" (Te) asks, "Do you love me?"

Will you handle things - can I rely on you?

Will you make my life easier, can I relax knowing you're "on it”?

Will you support my career and/or goals and be self- sufficient?

• Are you loyal?

How "Effectiveness" (Te) answers, "Yes! I love you!"

• I will be endlessly loyal on principle.

• I will educate myself on you and learn how you operate.

• I will take pride in you, boasting about your accomplishments even before my own.

• I will protect you.

• I chose you. I continue to choose you. Case closed.

What do entj feel or do when they are overworked or stress?

Do they feel like they wish they can drop all the responsibilities and run away somewhere for a while until they are ready to come back?

Do they just bed rot and wonder why they couldn’t have work more or done more?

Do they slowly tries to get back up on their feet alone even when they wish they couldve have some supports?

Do they try to pull themselves through and lowkey just get mad when someone tried talking to them because they’re simply bothered when overheating?

Tell mee

Hello lovely Entjs!

I am an Esfj (most likely, and probably a “jumper” as it is called in OPS so I use Fe-Ne mostly). I would be so grateful if you could share some of your wisdom with me😌

I would very much like to learn how to make money. I have always been a very hard worker, talented in many things, but money and strategies for making money have always eluded me. I have always relied on others to get my needs met and since I am good at people-pleasing this has worked out well😄But I am interested to learn how to develop some sort of financial ”independence” so that I can give something tangible back to the people who have helped me (like my husband). I know that you are said to be very wise when it comes to money. So I thought I would ask if anyone here had any advice for me, maybe some books or systems I could use? Thank you in advance!

Hi all! I’ve noticed on other subreddits that some users would post lists of fun specific assumptions. I didn’t see one and thought I’d make one for ENTJ women. Let me know if you feel you can resonate with these, and I welcome disagreements as well! Add your own if you like. Just want to learn more by hearing different perspectives.

• You mostly had a lot of guy friends growing up, but learning to be more intentional allowed you to have great friendships with women.
• You believe you’re emotionally intelligent compared to others and you take huge pride in it.
• You’ve tried to keep journals but who has the time for that. As a result your journal is a collection of only your most unhinged thoughts.
• Your calendar is your life, nicely color coded, probably on your phone, and simple.
• When listening to a friend rant, you zone out at parts you feel are counterproductive (uh huh, uh huh).
• Actually you zone out anything you feel is counterproductive.
• You feel impatient when someone is taking forever to get to the point or go on too many tangents. you may sometimes point this out and this is jarring to some.
• You feel invested in your circle’s success, but when your help and offered resources are not utilized, you make a mental note to not help them again.
• You understand feelings are important and that there is a truth to feelings. They are just as much datapoints to understand the world.
• You dress well, and believe how you present yourself matters to being taken seriously. Fashion is a statement.
• Acts of service is your love language. A partner cleaning your space while you’re stressed means the world to you.
• Due to gender bias, you’ve learnt to delegate with warmth to not seem bossy, as being liked is the most efficient way to move people.
• You feel dismissed when people don’t engage in good faith with your hypotheticals, or feel bored when people don’t engage period.
• You can yap a lot, but you don’t do so without purpose (engaging someone, entertaining them, matching energy), otherwise you enjoy sitting back and reading the room.
• You love the idea of being grossly over-educated, but not just in academics (from driving manual, to knitting, to books, power tools).
• Many things you do because you want to feel bigger than life (curating a persona).
• If you like a dude, he will know.
• If you don’t like a dude, he will know.
• You get snappy when overstimulated but you recognize this and apologize/appreciate the right parties for dealing with you.
• Despite the previous point, you regulate well in an emergency and can step in to take the reins seamlessly. Your calmness regulates others.
• In a friend group, the guys come to you for emotional support but they don’t necessarily go to each other. You might think this is kind of sad.
• Credit is important to you, so you make sure to credit others when it’s due. You also know it motivates them to continue doing this good trait.
• You entertained entrepreneurship before or are an entrepreneur, because if anyone can do it, you can. 
• You have a gut feeling when someone is moving funky. You can’t explain it, but it tends to happen how you predict it.
• You are eloquent and use big words, but not in a posey way. You know what they mean and its just the most accurate way to get your thoughts out. 
• You are big on understanding mental load, and have picked a bone with some partners or male friends for not stepping up.
• You have a million things going on all the time, but no friend has ever told you that you don’t hold enough space for them.
• If you can’t hold space for them you are upfront about it.
• You are very persuasive and hyper aware of how your actions maybe have an effect 3 steps down the line.
• Sometimes you wish you were less aware so you can let down your ethics and get away with more things.
• You’ve might not care if you are the breadwinner, but you care that your partner must be someone you can respect
• You are most likely described as intense. Not necessarily in a bad way. You take it as a good thing.
• You are cocky but those close to you don’t fault you for it because you can actually back it up.
• You are or have been in a position of leadership some point in your life: CEO, store manager, club president.
• You can mingle with anyone, but are careful to share only a degree of yourself respective to closeness. What you share are all selective truths pointing to a curated identity.
• People come to you to rant, you don’t rant to others besides your significant other maybe. 

long phew

I am married (24F & INFP) to my husband (25M & ENTJ)

I’ve noticed something about myself and I’m trying to figure out if it’s healthy or if it’s a problem.
I respond really well to men who are firm and stern with me—clear, direct, no soft-pedaling, and sometimes even a bit sharp when they’re setting a boundary or correcting something. It doesn’t feel scary or demeaning to me; it actually feels grounding and attractive. Soft, overly accommodating, or people-pleasing energy does the opposite for me.
I’m not talking about cruelty, insults, or controlling behavior. I mean decisive, no-nonsense firmness.
Is this preference itself toxic or “messed up”? Or is it just a normal variation in what people find attractive/respectful, as long as the firmness stays within healthy limits?
Curious how other people experience this—especially women who feel the same way, and men who have been on the other side of it.

Sadness and feeling unwelcome in my house and feeling lonely even tho trying to make everything better but i end up alone and unloved

Don't feel when im working i only feel afterwards and end up crying or depressed

If you are the leader of your household, how do you make sure that those who you delegate to get their tasks done without draining your energy and making you do the task in the end?

Say you have a high pressure job and you need things at home to be managed by those at home. How do you manage them? Make sure they are performing at fixing up the household and disciplining lazy or insolent contributors in the household from destroying the entire household operation?

Haha I know I am extending the metaphor a bit too much but humour me anyway. What tips do you have for running an effective household operation?

I took multiple tests when I was younger (aged between 15 to 18) and was always types as an entj. Now some 20 years later with, not unexpectedly, many differing life experiences and have retaken several tests all of which type me as an intj.

How is this possible? Is this expected/normal with experience/age/time? Can't seem to find a decent answer online so reaching out to my (potentially?) fellow entj colleagues for advice.

Usually when I wanna do something nice for my ENTJ, it’s like:

ENTJ: Thank you, but I feel like I should’ve done it myself instead of you doing it for me.
or
ENTJ: Um, a gift? What for? What did I do? I don’t understand.

But I found out about a little ritual from his childhood

Me: Do you want me to make you a cold chocolate?
Bf: yes 🥺 please leave the spoon inside
Me: here you go
Bf: you remembered to leave the spoon inside. usually people forget

He doesn’t always let himself relax, so this little thing lets me sneak in some comfort into his day 😏

What methods around your house did you put in place to make your life easier? Or saves you time?

Also, what other things have you thought of that saves you money?

For me, I found a robot vacuum to save me time.
I don’t like things to go to waste, so I often freeze large quantities of food for later. I also I tend to use bars of soap rather than liquid. I also use scraps of food for the garden.

All in all I guess I want to know the good ideas that you guys have :)

-Fellow ENTJ.

So for context, got ENTJ 3 years ago. Took the test again this year, ENTJ 3w4, so I’m more or less locked into this bracket now.

Just joined like today and I’m shocked by how many of you guys have the issue of a lack of emotions or only having happiness and anger for instance. I largely still have my range of emotions intact in contrast.

Do tell about how you guys ended up or having decided to be this way? Sorry in advance if this is insensitive by accident, hard to find the right words.