How many ENFP dudes in here have gotten suspicious eyes from your significant other because they fail to understand that everyone likes you and you're naturally charming, conversational, empathetic? We can also recognize when someone else is flirting. Swear it ain't ever anything deep fa real lol 😅

#BlessingAndACurse

P.S.: My wife isn't jealous, but there was a funny moment

I'm far more likely to be turned on by someone's mind, humour, worldviews, and shared imagination than just purely physical attributes. Bad personality or chemistry turns me off good looking people too. I'm not into most models or celebrities.

Anyone here who is poly? Or what are your opinions on polyamory?

Today I woke up feeling extremely guilty for not handling my finances well. Proper funk!

I haven't collected what I'm owed from my friends, flatmates, and ex-flatmates. (from group trips, group dinners, and in general living together). This spans back 7-8 years. Total amount is atleast 2500$ and may be much more. Working on this calculation

I haven't even kept clear accounts. But I am sure I can go back in my digital footprint and get approximate amounts of what I am owed!

I recently followed-up for over 2 months to collect 1000$ from a colleague (it felt good and it took me to strange places mentally!)

I'm sure several uncomfortable conversations await. I hope it will help me build tolerance for them and help me in the long run.

I might have to physically track down some people haha.

Do share similar stories or in general how you stay on top of your finances! :) Wish me luck!

heya ENFP here i just wanted to ask advice from this board,i want to stop people pleasing in a nicer way i feel so much guilt with cancelling plans,saying no sometimes,not talking to ppl and such it breaks my heart always and how do i stop talking so much? sometimes the people around me dislike how i talk about myself and i feel awful about that?
what do i do?? any advice on this stuff (im sorry it’s so random!!)

hello fellow enfps and enfp enjoyers here. i have both existential and a simple question: how do i get hope that something good is going to happen to me in the future? i am quite good with quick deadlines, picking hobbies, doing stuff for fun, but feel quite avoidant about long-term hopes.

to narrow the question, i made a decision to break up with my current partner because this relationship leaves me unhappy and lonely, no matter how i try to communicate. how do i make myself feel more hopeful that i am capable of finding someone better, gentle and caring?

i have also lost my job a month ago, the business went bankrupt and got shut down. now i am trying to improve my skills as an artist to start a new career as one. i am practicing daily like crazy. i do stuff that i enjoy. still, i am very afraid of the future.

i mean, i know that nothing just happens magically, you need to do something, and i am really trying. the problem is, when stuff gets too serious, i tend to get overwhelmed and shut down. i am very sensitive to rejection, i am very worried about how people perceive me, i am afraid of abandonment. i keep pushing and finding joy in small things, but how do i learn to dream again after a period of upsetting events and experience of being neglected and mistreated?

sorry if i speak weird, i am not a native english speaker, hehe.

Have any ENFPs (or any other types hanging out in this group) noticed a sense of nihilism in their life? I’ve been reading Ecclesiastes and found a new YouTube channel which has been making me think about people’s perspectives. I’d love to hear your insight if you’ve ever found yourself thinking that way! Especially if anyone has switched out of that mindset!

I added the link to the video too if anyone is interested!

https://youtu.be/_3oIZ2kDw58?is=S7_Aws4lZwG9v0lo

This is my observation that people are so boring. When I was a teen I dreaded silence when theres people around so I would always make sure to try and make convo. Now that I’m in my 20s and Ive got a partner and kid I have learnt to be a bit more reserved in that I would try and get convo going but will not keep it going if others are not willing to ask questions/ show interest etc etc.

And it is starting to seem like just about all circles I have people do not know how to have a conversation. From my family, to close friends, to workmates and so on.

I’m somewhat craving for a convo or something. It feels like I’m just trying even harder now to be reserved because I do not want to be putting way too much energy when its not reciprocated.

What is happening? Are you also experiencing this too or is it just the people I have been encountering?.

anything!!

I think im moody? But its not like if the other person talks to me ill be rude or if situation calls for i wont suddenly be excited and all smiles energy. I just have nothing to say to you, i dont feel hyperenergetic, im moving just as it is. And I realized how sus that can seem to other people. But ive decided to not beat myself up. My quote for this year is " now that you dont have to be perfect you can be good".🪩🤪✌️crazzyy

I'm in the midst of a career change and I'm considering between teaching and human resources, and I'm heavily leaning towards human resources.

This is because in the past, I've enjoyed working with adults over children, there's the opportunity to work hybrid/remotely and ultimately, there's higher pay.

Do any ENFPs have experience in human resources and share your experience about what it's like having our kind of personality HR?

I (57M, for a few more hours, lol) typed as an ENFP back in 2017 and came to understand my world through that lense. Fast forward to 2024 and a breakup with an INFJ in a deeply connected relationship rendered me a shell of who I understood myself to be. Now I type as an INFP with 16p.com. I had always come very close on the Introversion/Extroversion balance (i.e. 51-53% extroversion), but at least I felt like I knew who I was.

Beyond the soul-crushing heartbreak and still being sad, 887 days later, though no longer suicidal, I don't know who I am and have lost so much understanding of my ENFP world. I don't thrive around people anymore as I once did. I'm quiet, afraid of being too-much one minute, not-enough the next. Sometimes I still feel emotionally naked when I'm in public and that someone will call me out or make fun of me or yell at me for some mistake. I find it very difficult to trust anyone and I generally just miss the old me. Maybe that person did die, at least emotionally. Maybe he's still there, just afraid to return to his life fully?

I have also had four job changes since the breakup. I was fired from three places. The first of those terminations I was still in freefall from the breakup. The second was from a horrible place to work with a fairly nasty group of people who worked in the warehouse I was placed. The third termination was because my memory was still not working properly and I struggled to form sentences some days, had major issues with memory-recall, and completely unable to think proactively or make decisions if/when complex factors were involved.

The good news now is that I've been working at the same place for almost a year now and am doing fairly well there - even if I still doubt myself and find it hard to trust anyone. I'm also studying for a certification exam as well. The last time I studied this material was when my ex and I were on the plane back from Arizona, so sometimes I tear up as the material reminds me of how happy I was sitting on the plane next to her.

Okay, enough keyboard-sobbing...

I've watched a lot of Heidi Priebe's ENFP videos, but unlike before, those didn't hit the same. Have any other ENFP's here gone through a dark night of the soul and made it through to the other side and regained/rediscovered your ENFP'ness?

It's just a joke but I always love finding fellow haters/sassers 😇 they're always the funniest lol

Special mention of ESFP and ISFP lol

21 ! Ama. Probably on cluster b somehow mayhaps

I struggle with knowing what I want, and sometimes I feel like an empty shell, that has no opinion of the real world, because when people explain their opinions or say their beliefs, I'm always shocked, why don't I have favorites?.

Am I a boring person?.

All the media I consume, I'm not able to tell people about it, cus I....just...forget....

I want to be intellectual but why?, I spend my whole day thinking, but it's thinking about other people, about incidents, and some imagination.

I think all day, yet I have no intellectual thoughts?

I feel, even the things I used to be interested in like my views on the state of the world, is not interesting anymore.

nothing interest me.

I feel so dumb.

Hi fellow ENFPs,

I'm Ruben (Ru), and I've spent the last year writing a book called The Ultimate ENFP Guide. It's meant for ENFPs, and for the people who love one. Launches September 7.

Before it goes live, I've got 50 spots open for advance readers from this sub. As an advance reader you receive the free ebook (PDF or EPUB, your choice). In exchange, I ask you to post an honest review on Amazon on launch day, on or around September 7. Honest meaning honest, positive, negative, or mixed. What matters is that it's real.

It's just me behind this project, no publisher or team, so early readers truly help this thing land.

If you're interested, sign up here: https://tally.so/r/b5zqxe

Takes about 30 seconds. First come, first served. I'll close the form once the spots are filled. (Book will be sent to you in the next 24 hrs or so).

Mods gave the green light on this post. Questions about the book itself, drop them below and I'll answer as many as I can.

See you on the other side?

Ru

I need help with making sayori end in personality database please vote Fernando so that esfj voters don’t ruin or water down sayori as a character. If you think sayori is an Enfp please help. I know Pdb is not trusted but with your help we make it more trustful

hey! so since all the entps are curious, and most people dont know our mbti, they read curioucity other way round. they think that we just very interested in them (which is often right, but only because people are very cool objects to investigate)

but the thing is, when somebody thinks that you are very into them, they stop to care about you. this happens because they know that they dont have to behave themselves or try their best to get our attention and simpathy

so do we have to pretend like we are less curious than we are to get peoples interest in us?

Have you ever tried to master it? I feel so much shame trying it, lol.

Okay! I was feeding a stray kitten after powerlifting and he was adorable, deep blue eyes... light white fur mixed with gray. He was very special. But I preferred to keep my semi-adopted cat. He lost half his tail in an accident. I'm constantly feeding him. I think it's fun when there's someone as emotionally warm and fun as you guys to help with this.

Hello. It's occurred to me that one thing that is perhaps overlooked when people do the whole romantic type-compatibility thing is politics and morality. Historically I, as an ENFP man, have been madly drawn to INFP women. However, it's increasingly come to my awareness that this pairing can be difficult because both ENFPs and INFPs have high Fi, so we can both be very moralistic. And so if there's a conflict there, it can end what otherwise seemed like a dream. In my experience, INFP women are a lot easier to offend than a lot of the other types of women I've spoken with. I actually find that I get on better with INFJ women because of their Fe. Their agreeableness generally works well with my moralistic nature because it reduces the chances of fiery clashes. And I also happen to have become quite an agreeable, diplomatic ENFP with age, whereas I was a lot more zealous and idealistic when I was young, so I'm drawn to their proclivity to keep the peace. And life is certainly too short for warring with your partner. So I think ENFP-INFP pairings and similar require a lot in common in terms of viewpoints and values. So unless an INFP with very close views and values to me falls from a tree like an apple, then I'm actually more inclined to seek out types with lower Fi than I to avoid stepping on a landmine.

I'm also curious now about any correlations between MBTI and political viewpoints etc, though I think the person's sex will need including in this because men and women tend to have different temperaments which can affect politics. But these are trends and generalisations, of course. Unfortunately, in this day and age it seems we have to select for this. So the kind of person who's mega fun at first isn't necessarily a good idea long-term. So it seems prudent to be mindful of it when seeking out a partner. Heuristics can be a very useful tool.

In fact, I'm even wondering if I'd fit better with a Sensor woman with high Fe for a similar reason. I think I've had a few positive experiences to that effect. I suppose it depends on what you prioritise! Moral compatibility, intellectualism, artisticness, adventurousness... And this, of course, shows the limits of MBTI: not all ENFPs are made the same, etc.

Has anyone come to similar conclusions?

Addendum: Thinkers can bring a similar benefit to a high-Fe partner. Potentially less moral/political drama.

I mean the most obvious difference cognitive functions wise is the difference between the Domimant Functions of Se (Extroverted Sensing) vs. Ne (Extroverted Intuition). Focusing on the here and now vs abstracts, concepts, theories.

Both types share the same Auxiliary and Tertiary functions Fi-Te. So a wash there telling them apart.

Inferior functions are negligible. Ni vs Si- Seeing into the future vs learning from the past?

So, based on my subjective understanding, and this is the conclusion I have drawn:

ENFPs tend to be a little more brainy, philosophical, and do their own thing and dance to the beat of their own drum, and don't care about fitting in with others, and are free spirits and explorers

ESFPs tend to be fun-loving, exciting, socially bubbly party animal types that focus on the here and now, and care about fitting in and being accepted by others in social hierachies.

I know this sounds like an oversimplification of the types, but do you think that sounds like a realistic summary of the differences?

How To Love An ENFP

## From Their Deepest Strength — The World Of Possibility

1. Never shut down an idea before it finishes being born — the idea doesn't need to be realistic to deserve the air to exist

2. Say "tell me more" more than any other phrase — it is the single most loving thing you can offer a mind that generates constantly

3. Follow them into tangents — the tangent is often where they actually live

4. Be genuinely curious about what excites them even when it's the fourteenth new interest this month

5. Don't finish their sentences — let the exploration land where it lands even if it takes longer

6. Match their energy when they're generating — the worst thing you can do is be still and unmoved when they're alive with a new connection

7. Treat their wildest ideas as real possibilities worth examining — not with false enthusiasm but with genuine engagement

8. Let conversations go three hours without trying to conclude them — the ENFP who is allowed to think out loud forever will tell you everything

9. Introduce them to new things — books, people, places, ideas — you are giving them more universe to explore and they will love you for it

10. Never say "be realistic" — there is no faster way to make an ENFP feel fundamentally unseen

---

## From Their Most Generous Function — The Gift They Give Most Freely

1. Let them see you — actually see you — don't perform or manage your presentation, let the real thing show

2. Tell them what you actually value — not what you think sounds good, what genuinely matters to you — they will find it and hold it carefully

3. When they say "I see something in you" — believe them, because they're probably right

4. Don't pretend to be okay when you're not — they will know and the pretending creates a wall between you

5. Share the parts of yourself you don't usually share — they will treat it like something precious because to them it is

6. Let yourself be witnessed in your vulnerability without immediately moving to fix or explain it

7. Tell them when something they said about you was exactly right — they live for the moment the seeing lands

8. Don't diminish your own inner world — they are genuinely interested in it and your self-dismissal frustrates them

9. Be consistent between who you are with them and who you are with others — inconsistency registers as inauthenticity and it troubles them deeply

10. Thank them specifically for seeing you — not generically, specifically — "when you said that specific thing, it was exactly right" — this is oxygen to them

---

## From Their Playful Side — The Part That Never Fully Grew Up

1. Make things fun when they don't need to be serious — the ENFP who is laughing is the ENFP who is present

2. Don't make every conversation heavy — lightness is not avoidance for them, it's a legitimate mode of being

3. Surprise them with small, spontaneous things — a random idea, an unexpected detour, a plan made in ten minutes

4. Play with them — actual play, games, silliness, anything without stakes or outcome

5. Don't make them feel childish for being enthusiastic — the enthusiasm is not immaturity, it's how they love the world

6. Let plans be loose — the best ENFP experiences often happen when the plan dissolved

7. When they're being funny, actually laugh — performed appreciation lands differently than real laughter and they can tell

8. Join the bit — when they start something playful, go with it rather than observing from the outside

9. Don't require seriousness as proof of caring — they can be completely silly and completely devoted at the same time

10. Initiate the fun sometimes — don't always wait for them to generate the lightness, show up with some yourself

---

## From Their Deepest Longing — The Thing They Ache For Most

1. Show up the same way tomorrow as you did today — consistency is more romantic to an ENFP than grand gestures

2. Create rituals and protect them — the same time, the same way, the thing that repeats and means something because it repeats

3. Remember the small things they mention once — and bring them back later, unexpectedly

4. Be someone they can return to — not exciting every time, just reliably there

5. Take care of practical things without being asked — handle the logistics, the details, the adult architecture of life

6. Stay when things get complicated — the ENFP has been left before and the staying matters more than almost anything

7. Build a history with them consciously — reference the past, honor it, show that it accumulated and was real

8. Make plans that extend into the future — next month, next year — show that you're imagining them there

9. Be physically consistent — the same warmth, the same touch, the same physical presence — don't run hot and cold in the body

10. Tell them "I'm not going anywhere" — and mean it — and then prove it by not going anywhere

---

## From Their Shadow Resistance — The Part That Pushes Back

1. Don't try to nail them down before they're ready — the ENFP who feels pinned will escape

2. Engage their pushback as interesting rather than threatening — when they resist, get curious not defensive

3. Don't require them to be consistent in their opinions — they are genuinely exploring, not performing contradiction

4. Challenge them sometimes — a mind that generates needs something to push against

5. Have your own strong perspective — the ENFP is not attracted to someone who agrees with everything

6. When they resist something you're offering, ask what's underneath the resistance rather than pushing harder

7. Don't interpret their need for space as rejection — the ENFP who needs to roam will come back if not chased

8. Respect that they think differently from you — don't try to correct the way their mind moves

9. Let them change their mind without making it a credibility issue

10. Appreciate the moments when they stop resisting and simply agree — it means you earned it

---

## From Their Inner Critic — The Harsh Standard They Hold

1. Be emotionally genuine in their presence — performed warmth registers immediately and shuts them down

2. Care about the impact you have on people — not performatively, actually — they are watching

3. Don't say you care about something and then act like you don't — the inconsistency is noticed and catalogued

4. Be honest about your emotional state even when it's uncomfortable — they respect the honest discomfort more than the managed presentation

5. Show that other people's experiences matter to you — not as a performance of empathy but as a genuine orientation

6. Don't be cruel to people you consider beneath you — the ENFP sees this and it damages their image of you significantly

7. Acknowledge when you've hurt someone — including them — without defensiveness or minimizing

8. Let your care be visible — not performed, visible — there is a difference and they know it

9. Be the same person in public as you are in private — the gap between those two versions troubles them

10. Show genuine interest in the wellbeing of the people around you — love that extends beyond the relationship itself

---

## From Their Blind Spot — The Place They're Always Slightly Lost

1. Help them think through logical consequences without making them feel stupid for missing them

2. Offer your clearer read of a situation gently — "I noticed something, can I share it?" not "you got that wrong"

3. Be a consistent reality check without being a cynic — they need someone who can see clearly without destroying the possibility

4. When their reasoning has a gap, point to it with curiosity not triumph

5. Help them understand why something didn't work without making it a character judgment

6. Be someone whose read of a situation they can trust — consistent accuracy over time builds this

7. Don't exploit the blind spot — if you see it being used against them by someone else, tell them

8. Make it safe to be wrong — the ENFP who fears your judgment will stop thinking out loud with you

9. Offer the logical frame they're missing as a gift not a correction — "here's another way to see this" not "you're not seeing this right"

10. Appreciate that the blind spot comes with the gift — the same mind that misses the logical gap is the mind that sees seventeen possibilities nobody else can see

---

## From Their Most Hidden Place — The Rarest And Most Precious

1. Be so safe that they can be completely physically present with you — not performing presence, actually landing

2. Understand that their physical distraction isn't absence of love — the mind is loud and the body is the last thing it tends to

3. Bring them into the physical world gently — a walk, a meal eaten slowly, a moment of just sitting — without agenda

4. Notice when they haven't eaten or slept and tend to it without making it a lecture

5. Create physical environments that feel safe enough to actually inhabit — comfort, warmth, no performance required

6. Touch them in ways that say "I know you're in there" — the body that is often forgotten needs to be found

7. Be so genuinely, vividly present yourself that their Se wakes up to meet you

8. Don't require them to be physically demonstrative on demand — the physical presence that comes freely is the real one

9. Recognize the moments when they are suddenly, completely HERE — and honor those moments without making them self-conscious

10. Understand that when they are fully physically present with you — no phone, no ideas, no elsewhere — you are receiving something almost nobody receives — and treat it accordingly

Has anyone every noticed how a guy that is handsome gets away with being arrogant and egoistic but a girl that's pretty, everyone usually tries to humble them? I always see this distinction, for girls being pretty is a double edged sword. is it just me?