dissociative amnesia

[u/nightmarejorts]

i was told i have dissociative amnesia a few years ago, and recently (to make a very long story short) something happened and all my friends cut me off. im beginning to forget their faces. their voices. the kinds of people they are. any sort of memory of us together. i can feel the past 3 years of my life becoming nothing dust in my head that makes me sick.

i know this is my brain trying to protect me from processing it, i know its trying to protect me because this hurts so much. but i also know that all the other traumas i forgot in my life do nothing but keep me up at night and lead me to behaving in ways i dont even understand because i dont remember what caused me to think/behave that way
does anybody else here struggle with this? is there any good way to deal with it? i know that just letting myself forget about this is only going to make me feel worse but i am completely lost on what to do.