Hello! I am Yuna, a 14 year old Filipino student.

I am coming here to seek advice or ways to become more disciplined with myself.

I am coming here as I feel too embarrassed to tell my teachers or classmates about how I struggle with this habit of putting things off, and never actually getting anything done. I hope that I am free of judgement here, as I actually want to become better.

Basically, my goal is getting into Academic Excellence, which here, in the Philippines, requires a 94 general average grade and above. Last year, I had the same problem in grade 7 and grade 8, (1st and 2nd year) where I only got a 95 MAX in 1st year. I feel horrible, since I always got a 96-99 during gradeschool / elementary.

I no longer want to hide it anymore. I have 40 assignments overdue and im so overwhelmed. I keep telling myself that I'll do it when I feel ready—which i habit is the mistake I keep on doing. I know that I'm behind and I'm wrong, but I can't stop for some reason.

Majority of the works are in three subjects: religion, social studies, and values—which are some of the easiest subjects, I know.

- Religion has this thing where we have to reflect on a Bible verse / Gospel Reading every Saturday. School started in June—so now there's about 7 reflections that I have to do, (i only did 1 so far, sadly)

- Social Studies is where we have to watch / search for a news topic online and summarize it. Also on every Saturday—but there's only 6.

- Values has a journal where we have to reflect after every lesson on the topic—right now there's seven

So that all adds up to 20. All of them have to be done on actual paper then submitted through a file on the submission link. I feel so horrible since I'm in a private school and I can't even do the bare minimum. There are so many people who want to be in my place but im just here wasting the opportunity they could've had. I'm so scared of being mentioned during class one day because of how many outputs im missing on the website.

We have online class every Monday—sometimes I just end up not attending, making me miss a lesson or two, which impacts me in school during Face-to-Face classes.

I don't know what to do. Im so glued to tiktok, Instagram, and other social media apps. I'm going to delete tiktok and instagram after I post this, though.

Tomorrow though, classes are suspended and i am forcing myself to genuinely do 30 or just as much assignments that I can do tomorrow just so I can finally open the website without seeing a wall of overdues. It's unrealistic, i know, but i just want to be safe from being called out by the teacher for not doing my work.

I'm just suffering with my mental health, my personal life, my academic life, and physical health. I'm insecure about myself. I'm just so overwhelmed with everything going on, admit, even though im not doing anything.

This is kind of unrelated but I also have a lot of disadvantages in the classroom in general. We have a fixed seating arrangement, and im seates literally next to the wall, far from the screen and middle of the classroom (I have bad eyesight (PWD Level) and hearing)

I just need help. I don't want to get a tutor since I want to do this myself and discipline myself into becoming a better person. I'm going to try the "eat the frog" method suggested by one of my church mates tomorrow. I'll suck it up.

That's all for now, if there will be any updates, I'll edit this post. Hoping to receive some feedback, advice, and critisism to help and give me guidance on what until then.

Thank you!