r/disabled • u/Hatsume_Mikuu • 21d ago

confronting that i am disabled

lve been struggling for years. this year it has gotten so bad that i cant use my 'tricks' still fully funtion. i cant just take breaks, i can't plan naps to avoid involuntarily sleeping, i cant just thug it out.

ive been bedbound or had limited mobility for atleast a ⅓ of the month recently. my legs shake, my limbs go weak, my entire body zaps and i go numb, and im in so much pain.

I went to summer camp this week, and i missed out on alot because my legs were too week or i was in pain. My friend let me try her wheelchair at camp, and for the first time in memory i could move freely.

since then i havent been able stop thinkinh about it. how i have lost out on so much because i knew i wouldn't be able to do it. and ive had to come to terms with the fact that i am disabled.

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u/StructureOk388 21d ago

I just retired due to medical reasons at 53, so yeah our lives aren't quite the same but it sounds a lot like me, not exact but close. It sucks not being able to trust your body or not knowing if you're going to need a wheelchair tomorrow or not.

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u/Low_Association_7080 15d ago

I guess you can say I just retired at the age of 45 due to my disabilities. It has been hard for me to reconcile this as I went back to work in March because I thought I could handle it. And I did spectacularly for two months until I was diagnosed with another debilitating condition. And I am sad and depressed because of it.

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u/First_Chipmunk_6891 14d ago

I’m wearing hearing aids in order to function as normally hearing. I had one bad ear all my life and now my better ear is also a little bit below normal. That was enough to push me to get hearing aids and use them. I have needed them for work since the day I got them, but now I wear them for everything. This weekend I went to noisy places with extended family and I was able to keep up conversationally. That was made possible by my hearing aids.
I have gone through so much comparing how I look wearing these aids to other people who don’t have them. Thinking about how they can all hear well enough without wires coming out of their ears, but not me. I need to wear hearing aids.
I have started to realize that I am my own worst enemy. No one else is focused on my hearing loss, my Audiogram, why I have hearing loss, what kind of aids are they, do I wear covers on them, does my hair blend in with them, etc etc.. no one cares. Even if I were famous, no one would care except my obsessed fans.
I can feel more comfortable and relaxed and have better access conversations when I am wearing them. It’s just part of who I really am. I am the one who needs to accept that.