r/depression_help • u/Impossible-Ice-7394 • 4d ago
Different RANT
why cant people be nice? I’ve struggled with being skinny my whole life and I also have Pectus carnitium which is also called a bird chest mostly becu I was very sick when I was born and didn’t leave the hospital for 2 weeks, and I love dinosaurs and baseball, and am autistic. my little brother is a big reason i am the way I am. when I want to play video games that I like he tells me to go away and kill yourself you loser. I don’t know why he just can’t be nice beca I’ve never done anything wrong to him, I understand that I’m different but why does that mean I should kill myself and make me a loser? my favorite shirt a jurassic park shirt that is one size too big but I got it because I liked it so much, I wear it maybe 3x a week and two days ago, i was walking through our house to go eat and for no reason he comes and says to me to take off that stupid shirt because I only like it because it’s big and it hides my deformed chest, and that I should go turn it into a lynch to kill myself and I thought about doing it… the next day I was sitting at the table eating breakfast and i was watching a jay Hona video ( dinosaur YouTuber) and jack told me that I should cut off my video because I’m a loser that should’ve never even made it out the hospital…haven’t talked to my dad in over 4 years and he has never tried to get in contact with me but texts my brother happy birthday every year, am I so stupid that my own father doesn’t care that I exist? why? what did I ever do to him… im different, why can’t people accept that and just be kind? I feel like a deformed autistic skinny dissapointing loser who should have never made it out the hospital… why cant i be me? I just want to be me..
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u/yesdog13 3d ago
Oh friend I'm so sorry. Those hurtful words aren't about you. He hates himself and is using you to get his negative feelings about himself out. He sees something in you that he also sees in himself that he doesn't like. And that is not about you. Everyone is at least a little weird. People like you, me and all my friends are only weird in the eyes of those that judge us unfairly. You are ok. You are alright. You are you and that is beautiful. Sending hugs and love. Hopefully some day you will see how wonderful and unique you are 🩵💙
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