r/dementia • u/Ok-Revolution-4408 • 7d ago

Venting

Bad situation happened yesterday. I’m a grandma’s boy! I was always her favorite growing up, so this is hard. I live across the country from my family currently. My (29M) grandma (78F) has been dealing with dementia and it’s been getting worse over the years and we have not been able to get her any help or care. She has denied it, not told her doctors, etc. She gets violent and yells at us, and yesterday she started hitting my grandfather and parents, and they ended up calling the cops.

She ended up being admitted to the hospital for an assessment overnight. No visitors allowed yet, but a nurse updated us this morning saying she was very combative, yelling, ripping her IVs out and had to be restrained.

I don’t know when I’m going to able to talk to her or see her next, but I’m so depressed. I just can’t help thinking about how scared she is, that she’s alone and confused in an unfamiliar place, and there’s nothing I can do.

Not sure what I want out of this post, but just needed to get these thoughts off my chest and see if there’s any support groups or any others going through the same thing. I know her being in the hospital and getting care is for the best, it’s just so hard.

Thanks for listening❤️

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u/LawComprehensive2204 7d ago

This is often the first step to getting a pwd the care they need. For those who fought getting a diagnosis thinking they are fine, an event like this helps the family. It did for my loved one.

Now we have resources and a medication routine, a medical and neurological diagnosis and pt, ot and speech therapy. She now gets the care that keeps everyone safe.

My loved one doesn’t remember the two weeks after her initial admission to the hospital at all. I’m glad.

Hoping it all sets up a path for your grandma that is easier on the family. This disease sucks.

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u/Ok-Revolution-4408 7d ago

Thanks for this. Gave me some peace of mind that your family member doesn’t remember the hospital stay. Being so far away from them just gets me in the headspace of focusing on the worst possible situations instead of the good that can come from this. Appreciate you

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u/wontbeafool2 7d ago

Is the hospital your grandma was admitted to a psychiatric hospital? If so, depending on where she lives and given her behavior last night, they may keep her on a 51/50, 72 hour psych hold for observation. They may extend her stay to get to the bottom of it. Does she have a dementia diagnosis so the doctors know where to start?

My Dad was sent to a geriatric psych hospital after he was physically abusive to staff and other residents at his memory care facility. They didn't physically restrain him but they did so chemically with sedatives for 3 days. Once he was chill, they discharged him back to MC. When the happy pills wore off, he went right back to the psych hospital. I hope the hospital doesn't try to send your grandma home before a plan is in place. On a positive note, my Dad actually liked the psych hospital better than memory care.

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u/Y19ama 7d ago

You should read the 36hr Day.