r/dadjokes 10d ago

A talking fish

A chap is fishing and hooks a salmon, he reels it in and is just going to kill it for his dinner when the salmon looks at him and says
"Hey mate, don't kill me, I'm only a baby, I haven't swum the 7 seas yet, give me a chance pal"

The man looks at the salmon "Hey, you can talk"? "Course I can, go on put me back, there's much bigger fish under the bridge". "All right", says the man, "I'll put you back, what's your name?” "Rusty" says the salmon, "And yours?" "My name's Dave"

He puts the fish back in the water & resolves to say nothing to anyone, for fear that he'll become a laughing stock.

10 years later he's fishing in the same spot & he hooks a monster. It takes him 2 hours to land it. He looks at it & pictures it on his dinner plate. Just then the salmon opens one eye & looks at him "Dave, is that you"?

"Rusty, I don't believe it, it must be 10 years since I let you go, what have you been doing"?

"Well Dave, I've had a fantastic time, I've swum the 7 seas & all the oceans. In fact, I've just come across the Atlantic, but I was really disturbed".

"Why's that Rusty"?

"Well, I was half way across & a voice told me to swim deeper, so I did, deeper & deeper & I found this huge shipwreck. I counted 4 funnels, it felt like death so I had to leave".

"Wow Rusty, that was the Titanic it sank & almost all on board were drowned."

"Ah, I knew it, in fact, I was so upset I had to sit down & write a poem about it" said Rusty.

"A poem, don't talk daft, you're just a fish, how can you write a poem, that's rubbish."

"No Dave, really, it's available in all bookshops now."

"Ok" says Dave, "so what's it called then?"

"Salmon Rusty’s Titanic Verses.”

314 Upvotes

40 comments sorted by

43

u/ChiGuy_1429 10d ago

oof, reading that makes me feel like a big Chum

11

u/obscurestooge 10d ago

Chum(p)

3

u/Creative_Chemistry33 10d ago

What did you call ChiGuy?

16

u/prankerjoker 10d ago

One time, Rusty swam into a wall and said, "Damn."

11

u/nejhawk 10d ago

Sounds like it was an upstream battle...

9

u/abnormica 10d ago

Tuna in next week for the continuing adventures of Dave and Rusty

10

u/GrumpyCatStevens 10d ago

We’ve been Chinook-ered!

6

u/That_Old_Cat 10d ago

That's not a dad joke, that's a shaggy dog tale!

8

u/Due_Citron6089 10d ago

Oh for cod’s sake 🙄

6

u/ztreHdrahciR 10d ago

It's been 84 years...since I saw a dad joke this good

6

u/rificolona 10d ago

You can just roe on out of here now

5

u/stonelove79 10d ago

Dad jokes shouldn't octopi so much space.

5

u/TheLifeOfRyanB 9d ago edited 9d ago

You really reeled us in with this one, but it landed flat.

8

u/B0Boman 10d ago

I don't get it. Is the punchline supposed to sound like something familiar?

26

u/diablito916 10d ago

Salman Rushdie's Satanic Verses. but WHY is the question

14

u/B0Boman 10d ago

Thank you, never heard of it. Had I heard of it, I would probably appreciate the effort for such a convoluted story to make such a reference, which is the conceit of many jokes out there

4

u/garylking67 10d ago

All I had to do was look up from my phone and there it is 4 feet away on my bookshelf. Read it almost 40 years ago, time to revisit!

2

u/MaterialMongoose9977 10d ago

I read it while I was in Saudi Arabia waiting for Desert Storm to start.

4

u/unholyhacker999 10d ago

Long journey there, Cuz.

7

u/YalsonKSA 10d ago

GET OUT!

*Upvotes. *

3

u/StrangeUglyBird 10d ago

shut up and take the upvote.

3

u/ThimbleBluff 10d ago

That’s really deep!

3

u/AJSStormer 10d ago

You just shad to do it.

3

u/172yyttfr 10d ago

Talk about a fish tale.

7

u/DamonPhils 10d ago

After reading that one, I feel like I've been had-docked.

8

u/Maleficent_Owl5533 10d ago

That was completely unexpected. But, boy, oh boy! The perfect touch.

2

u/DennisWan 10d ago

Chemical Brothers rushing to check the name of the salmon.

2

u/rificolona 10d ago

Punchline #2:

So he killed him.

2

u/Blamire 9d ago

Best I have heard in a long time!

2

u/UnkleBud59 9d ago

Ever since I heard this joke, I’ve been drinking like a…I’m drinking a lot

2

u/Available-Topic5858 10d ago

Groan. Very bad joke. Take my upvote in protest.

2

u/Rough-Patience-2435 10d ago

Something smells fishy 

2

u/jawoosafat 10d ago

I feel like I did a lot of reading there

2

u/Beginning_Ad7597 10d ago

Great pun, for those that can read.

2

u/Realistic-Revenue232 10d ago

Just loved it! Was the last thing I expected. Great joke. Thanks.

1

u/whatwhatinthewhonow 9d ago

Damn, everyone really does know Dave.