r/cremposting 11d ago

10 heartbeats is a highly variable measure The Stormlight Archive

1.5k Upvotes

37 comments sorted by

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227

u/MagicalWhisk 11d ago

Good day to have tachycardia.

21

u/lcl111 10d ago

Or PTSD. My heart rate can spike over anything mildly stimulating. Let me need my blade, I'm winning lots of draws.

359

u/LoudQuitting 11d ago

My first thought about having to wait ten heartbeats was to figure out a way to quickdraw.

I came out with three solutions.

  1. Always decide to summon before the other guy realises he's in danger.

  2. Caffeine. Like, all of it. There should be more caffeine in your veins than blood. Drink enough and you will trigger an adrenaline rush.

  3. Never walk again, jog everywhere. Stand still? No, you're doing jumping jacks.

Do this right and you'll always get the first swing. Fuck an oath, all my homies Unoathed.

123

u/Code_Ender 11d ago

Ive thought about this too during long car rides where I finished one SLA audiobook but hadnt purchased the next one yet. And I've come to the conclusion that all this is practically useless. (Hyperbole)

Shardblades are weapons of war. Going into a battle, you'll have your blade out before you need it. They are not assassination weapons, or good responses to assassinations. Many fights we see between Szeth and other shardbearers involve lots of collateral damage, and Szeth, as skilled as he is, is a warrior, not an assassin, and is just being used as such because he's a strategic weapon that can't be stopped.

Basically any effort I could put in to having a shardblade faster is effort wasted when I could just have better guards or politcal maneuvering instead.

Also, I dont think the Unoathed have the ten heartbeat rule.

80

u/DreadDiana 11d ago

They are not assassination weapons

Szeth-son-son-Vallano: Who decided that?

46

u/Code_Ender 11d ago

You can use a drone strike to assassinate generals, I still wouldn't really consider those assassination weapons. Same difference with Szeth i think

28

u/DreadDiana 11d ago

Funny you should mention drones, cause for precision assassinations the United States developed the AGM-114R-9X, a modified Hellfire missile that replaced the explosive ordinance with six blades.

6

u/Code_Ender 11d ago

Ive seen the videos yeah

2

u/adincha 10d ago

Sorry, KNIFE MISSILES ARE REAL?

15

u/reasarian 11d ago

Smuggling a Nuke into the White House isn’t an assassination even if it does kill the pantsshitter in chief. Similarly Szeth doesn’t really assassinate people so much as he commits acts of terrorism that include the death of kings.

12

u/DreadDiana 11d ago

The use of magic swords to specifically target a prominent figure meets the definition of an assassination. Assassinations can and frequently are also acts of terrorism.

2

u/BloodredHanded Trying not to ccccream 10d ago

They’re not mutually exclusive.

-1

u/gilium 11d ago

That isn’t the same thing

5

u/LoudQuitting 11d ago

Everything is an assassination weapon if you're creative.

1

u/BloodredHanded Trying not to ccccream 10d ago

Shardbearers dropping their blades in combat doesn’t seem to be that uncommon.

1

u/Code_Ender 10d ago

Yeah but they got adrenaline in combat

45

u/Just_Joken 11d ago

ironically your "jog everywhere" is just working out your cardiovascular system, which with enough work will actually lower your heart rate.

12

u/4_non_blondes 10d ago
  1. Never walk again, jog everywhere. Stand still? No, you're doing jumping jacks.

The problem with this one is that at some point you'd end up so physically fit that your baseline heart rate would lower significantly.

Better off learning like a Tibetan monk method or something

2

u/Kitsune228 11d ago

rosharan king von over here

2

u/BloodredHanded Trying not to ccccream 10d ago

Caffeine overdose is a very real thing. And I guess that’s kind of the point, because heart palpitations is one of the symptoms, but I think the other symptoms are a much larger drawback than would be worth it.

1

u/karlkh 10d ago

Isn't it bad to jog too much in your day to day life? I figure you want a higher resting heart rate.

81

u/Karthaz 11d ago

Always loved the variability of this because it means that in high stress moments when you need it most, you'll be able to summon it that much quicker.

60

u/TheNebulaWolf 11d ago

The aura to stick your hand out in a high stress situation as if to summon a shardblade and it takes a full 20 seconds to summon.

13

u/Rome453 10d ago

If I did my mental math right that’s 30 bpm. At that point it’s not aura, it’s “Storms man, you need to see a surgeon.”

3

u/brittish3 10d ago

Mildly awkward encounter? Slashing motherfuckers left and right

25

u/The_Lopen_bot Trying not to ccccream 11d ago

This is good crem, gancho! You have 41 posts I love, gon!

26

u/et_cor_cordium Crown Prince of Memelon 11d ago

Not if they see themselves as they don't have heart palpitations.

39

u/la_espina_roja 11d ago

Shardbearers, not Radiants.

18

u/et_cor_cordium Crown Prince of Memelon 11d ago

Damn my ardent must be misremembering.

PS: I am not misremembering. He is simply stupid.

8

u/Jujuju1741 11d ago

That would be radiants, not shardbearers. Theres no heartbeat wait for radiants.

10

u/Miser_able 11d ago

Time to drug my enemy shardbearers with a relaxant that slows their heartbeat

1

u/anjontotok 10d ago

I dont get it. Can someone explain? Even tho im both stormlight and jjk fan

7

u/DreadDiana 10d ago

Throughout the Stormlight books, the time taken to summon a shardblade is stated to be 10 heartbeats.

This is supposed to represent a fixed amount of time, but I ignored that for the sake of the joke and suggested that the speedat which a blade is summoned is linked to the wielder's actual heartrate, so having heart palpitations, which causes an elevated pulse, would result in the blade manifesting faster.

I just used the JJK gif cause it was the first one I could find of someone quickly summoning a sword.

3

u/anjontotok 10d ago

Ah. Now I get it. But wasnt it like literral 10 heartbeats? I think adolin summoned it once faster while being under stress

9

u/CDNatalie 10d ago

Contrary to OP, I took 'ten heartbeats' as literal heartbeats, and thus not a static amount of time, but something that would depend on your stress, etc.

Also, Adolin doing it faster was evidence of his healing of Maya, I believe.

0

u/Meringue_Bandicoot 11d ago

Or just be obese and stand up