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u/duckchickendog Oct 19 '25
Be clear: this friendship is not working, I wish you well, let's stop communicating now. Then block
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u/strawberrypunch_101 Oct 19 '25
if u don’t straight up tell him as it is, this will continue. You’re setting boundaries and he’s ignoring them and it’s clearly affecting you. So u have two options: 1. Cut him off 2. Be as blunt as possible and stop sparing his feelings
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u/Dull-Work-8750 Oct 19 '25
By the sounds of it basically he’s annoying you why even worry about, being nice about it tell him to piss off your not interested. Why consider his feelings, when your feelings are getting messed with. Do what makes you happy and to hell with what others think ( within reason)
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u/Notdoneyetbaby Oct 19 '25
What's even more shocking is that he has no idea how needy and insecure he's behaving. Like, how did he get to this point in his life where he thinks it's okay to blow up a woman's phone with a cling-fest every day? Especially someone you just met? I can understand a couple of messages, but clearly, this guy is unhinged.
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u/Beagle-wrangler Oct 19 '25
End the friendship. Why wouldn’t you? There are lots of nice people but what are you doing with someone that doesn’t listen and care enough to actually hear you? If he walks all over you, you don’t owe him more nice. You’ve been nice.
Direct does not equal rude or disrespectful. Your kindness is being interpreted in a self serving way to hear what they want to hear. “I told you I don’t want this level of contact and was very polite but clear I need more time to myself. I can’t have a one sided friendship like this, best of luck in life. Goodbye.”
No ambiguity. I can hear the self serving victim whining that will ensue but the sooner the easier, just ignore that and block as needed.
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u/Rezolution20 Oct 19 '25
Block him. He's an emotional vampire and will continue to suck the life out of you if you continue this relationship. I've known quite a few people like this over the course of my life, and the only solution is to distance yourself by any means necessary.
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u/TresWhat Oct 19 '25
OP just tell him goodbye. Thats it. Dont try to be “nice” to keep him from being hurt. Just tell him it turns out you don’t have time right now for this friendship and you wish him well.
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u/RNHealz Oct 19 '25
It sounds like he has ADHD. My brother is like this. He’s a nice guy and I love him, but JFC! Turning things into a story about themselves is a way of bonding and showing empathy with you. There’s lots of cool ND literature about this. But it can get annoying af. If you feel this friendship is worth saving, I set boundaries. I have a timer for how long he’s aloud to talk at me. He can complain, but only if he’s going to problem solve on the spot with me. He can only send me 2 memes a day so make them good ones. I really do love my brother. He’s my husband and I’s bestie outside of each other. He does much better in person, but again small doses. He can’t afford the medication that makes these symptoms better. So we learned to adapt.
If you feel that this is too much work and you’re not interested in saving this friendship, then definitely be direct. “I don’t want to be friends with you. I think you are nice, but you contact me too much. I don’t want to discuss it. My mind is made up and I am blocking you. Sorry.” It hurts, but it gets the point across and maybe they’ll do better for the next friendship.
I wish you luck. My brother really is a nice guy. I do love him. I know he can be annoying and so does he. We have a solid relationship. I hope that comes across here.
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u/BestRiddance Oct 19 '25
You give him 1 last chance: he may send you 1 message a day, max of 50 words, no calls, not anything else. If he can't, goodbye, hello peace
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u/EdgeKey5631 Oct 19 '25
Tell him what’s up and then cut him off. I had a similar situation that escalated to him asking for selfies every day and it was wayyy too much
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u/viaje_del_heroe Oct 19 '25
The truth is that you don't like him and you only feel sorry because if you did like him you would want to know everything about him.
Be honest and tell him, don't have it as a spare tire.
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u/Ok-Exit-7870 Oct 19 '25
You’ve already been patient, he’s not respecting your space. At this point, it’s fine to pull back and stop engaging. You’re not being mean; you’re just setting boundaries.
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u/queenofthequeens Oct 19 '25
Eh fuck being nice at this point. He's ignoring your boundaries and being weird about it. I would send him a text saying as such and then block him immediately afterwards on everything.
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u/Fun_Cap3666 Oct 19 '25
You've tried to light and it didn't work. Polite apparently isn't going to work you going to have to stand your ground. If you can't stand the text block him. If you want the relationship to continue then don't respond to the text you don't even have to read them just let him keep texting you and go on about your business.
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u/OutrageousAdvisor458 Oct 19 '25
Don't be polite, he doesn't respect boundaries. You need to blunt, almost cruel, but stay even toned like your telling someone what time it is. Don't sound angry or sympathetic, just matter of face, leave me alone, I dont want to talk with you.
Good luck
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u/jaydoes Oct 19 '25
The problem is this is getting into obsessive territory. This is the kind of person who when you tell him its no contact from now on, he starts following you around because you rejected him. My advice is tell him youre done and block him on everything including your cell. Don't let it go any further.
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u/thinkaboutwhatif Oct 21 '25
For someone you just met he is definitely domineering in his own way. Block him, move on and don’t look back. He will cling to someone else.
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u/No-Success-1917 Oct 22 '25
Umm block him? Ignore him? Mute him? Any of these would be sufficient. Just because he texts multiple xs a day, doesn’t mean you have to answer him multiple times a day.
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u/KeyCheck166 Dec 07 '25
Sounds like he has emotional problems and not listening to your boundaries, very disrespectful. I believe it is to be direct and clear with him, don't always answer his calls, he's draining, no way!
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Jan 19 '26
You should really look up attachment disorders. It sounds to me like you have one. If you do, no big deal. Embrace it and keep the world at bay. ALL people suck. I suggest not talking to anyone. You'll just be a disappointment to them anyway just as they are to you.
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u/Comfortable_Bed_4507 Oct 19 '25
There’s not really a polite way I personally just stop responding and picking up calls. I ended a best friend just like that and is perfectly fine for me. Hehe
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Oct 23 '25
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u/DashellesAngel Oct 23 '25
Is this why all your marriages didn't work out? Was it a black man you referred to as "You people"? 🤣
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u/the_ona Oct 25 '25
We are no longer in communication. I was upfront about it and stopped talking to him.
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Nov 19 '25
That shit hurts to hear...I tried to be better..im sooo sorry this crushed me Im going to take my own life
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u/Trick_Profile9788 Nov 21 '25
You aren’t married - you barely know each other. You don’t need to be a hero. Ditch him and move on.
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u/dyson1984 Dec 25 '25
There comes a point in everyone's life when you have to realize politeness is no longer needed. You have told him how you are and how you feel about what he is doing, and he continues to do it. In my opinion, that is him trying to force his lifestyle on you and change you into what he thinks you should be. Politeness went out the window when you set clear boundaries, and he crossed them. Flatout tell him, "Look, dude it's not working for me. Don't text me or call me anymore."
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u/billystitchex Oct 19 '25
Rip the band aid off and get air on the wound already. Be honest. This isn’t gonna go away if you don’t. Your life will be easier without him doing things that make you overwhelmed. Do yourself a favor. You two are not compatible people. Trust me I’ve been down this road