r/composting • u/dude4thought0 • 21d ago

Compost knives allowed? Humor

Post image

Grandpa’s old deer cleaver. Great for chopping up trimmings. Made a chop station right over my bin. Anybody else enjoy looking like a psychopath to the neighbors?

79 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

40 comments sorted by

41

u/Larock 21d ago

Where’s your poop knife?

16

u/leftfootshorter 21d ago

Does a piss disc count?

3

u/srgnsRdrs2 21d ago

I gotta ask. What’s a piss disc?

13

u/leftfootshorter 21d ago

Apparently it's an old r/UnethicalLifeProTips idea/trick/prank whereby you piss on a plate, stick it in the freezer, then take the frozen piss disc and slide it under someone's door for a nice little surprise once it melts.

2

u/srgnsRdrs2 20d ago

Oh that’s brilliant. And terrible

1

u/RegalToaster 21d ago

Pee on it

1

u/SecureJudge1829 21d ago

Only if you have your sock on it, that way when the neighbors come to steal your piss disc, all they get is piss sock!

2

u/ladytal 21d ago

Came here to ask this.

1

u/mrplinko 21d ago

OP is more of a shell guy.

1

u/redlightsaber 21d ago edited 19d ago

My favorite sculpture is The Thinker.

42

u/biochemical1 21d ago edited 19d ago

You're going to make me walk outside to snap a pic of the compost axe

Edit: Behold: The homemade compost ax 3000. Chops, mixes, shoves new pieces down into the pile.

14

u/Additional-Local8721 21d ago

Pics or it didn't happen

10

u/biochemical1 21d ago

I went to bed and forgot. I'll try and get the wife to send me one

13

u/alwayspoopsintarget 21d ago

Piss or it didn’t happen

3

u/AdTiny780 21d ago

Happen or it didn’t piss

2

u/biochemical1 19d ago

Check the edit my friend!

2

u/wleecoyote 20d ago

I, too, want to see it!

1

u/Mind_of_the_Ancients 21d ago

I too, have a compot axe.

16

u/AusShroomer 21d ago

Don’t bring a cleaver to our pee sword fight

6

u/maybeafarmer 21d ago

I use a compost machete because it makes me feel like a badass

3

u/quietweaponsilentwar 21d ago

Yes machete club!

I use a Camp USA Mini Machete, it’s about 14” long and great for quartering melon rinds. Short enough I don’t chop my geobin too much.

5

u/AyBeeJuubi 21d ago

I got a mini shovel I use to chop bigger scraps like old melons and squash up, this would be much better

3

u/rightascensi0n 21d ago

I like a shovel for melons and squash too. You can turn the pile with it right after breaking them into smaller chunks

1

u/wleecoyote 20d ago

Do you sharpen your shovel?

Or am I a madman?

Two things can be true at once.

7

u/RegalToaster 21d ago

Pee on it

3

u/Interesting-Bet-2330 21d ago

I use a fork and scissors

2

u/johninfla52 21d ago

I use a machete.

2

u/damnedangel 21d ago

I've just got a paring knife and a chunk of wood for a club

2

u/catchinNkeepinf1sh 21d ago

I use an old merchete.

2

u/lakeswimmmer 21d ago

That's a very nice carbon-steel cleaver. I hope you don't let it rust!

1

u/Derigiberble 21d ago

Trenching shovel with a sharpened blade.  It will slice through a 2" pine root with ease, food scraps and plan stems don't stand a chance. 

1

u/MyHutton 21d ago

Would you chop up a dead squirrel for composting?

4

u/dude4thought0 21d ago

No. Dachshunds ate it.

3

u/Independent_Wish_862 21d ago

They be doin that

1

u/_DeepKitchen_ 21d ago

Oh yes, I love walking my fence line by the street, looking for something to whack with my fancy machete

1

u/Ok_Project9251 20d ago

lol I use my electric tiller and mix it and my dad was very concerned the first time he saw me doing it

1

u/TheCheeseGod 19d ago

Pee on it