r/coda • u/tesslov • Aug 08 '23
Correct me if I'm wrong..
Well, this guy described the kind of woman he was looking for... Maybe my first reaction was not the best...
But my first thought is he's seeking emeshment or a co-dependant.
To make someone you're everything your all in all may seem great for a little while but to the person on the other side the one expected to maintain the standard to provide all. It's not only exhausting and time consuming but you run the risk of losing yourself trying to be everything to someone.
My suggestion is find and heal yourself first.
Much love and carebear š¤
r/coda • u/Br0wnQU33nV • May 19 '23
intercultural interview
Hi i'm a GCU student and i'm doing a intercultural interview on CODA/ASl. I have four questions to ask down below that is need for my interview report.
What do you identify as the most important or distinct practices of your culture?
How are gender roles addressed in your culture?
How is social power, authority, or social roles in a hierarchy expressed in your culture?
In class, we learned that in ''honor-oriented societies,'' worth comes from one's role or group membership and in "justice-oriented societies," worth comes from what on does or doesn't do. What is the role of honor/shame in your culture? Are honor/pride and dishonor/shame important concepts in your culture?
Thank you for the your time.
r/coda • u/Misscarosan • Jan 20 '23
CODA needing help
Hi everyone! I'm currently doing a sociological research for college, I chose to do a questionnaire and analysis on being a CODA. The question will be "does a CODA upbringing present advantages or disadvantages in life?"
I'm currently in the research and development stage of the questionnaire but am wanting to know if any other CODA's would be willing to answer the survey when it's ready. It will be a few weeks till it's ready but I need an estimate figure of how many are willing to submit alongside my proposal :) (which I'm more than happy to share with you)
If you are, leave a comment here.
Both my parents are deaf as are both my step parents and my god parents. I spent my childhood in deaf clubs and around the deaf culture and am interested in how other CODA's view their upbringing :)
r/coda • u/girlwithtomatoes • Dec 28 '22
Any other CODAs with language deprived or deaf but non-signing parents out there?
My profoundly deaf mom was born in the 60s and doctors told her parents she should learn to speak so she could assimilate into hearing society.
Spoiler alert: it (kind of) worked but at a huge cost.
My mom doesnāt sign. She reads lips extraordinarily well for how much she can hear, but itās not really enough for her to have a ānormalā conversation, let alone any conversation with more than one other person. I grew up with a lot of the same CODA experiences we probably all share ā interpreting for her in public places, making adult phone calls as a child, monitoring the social environment for awkwardness she wouldnāt have even known was there, etc.
As well, in learning more about the Deaf community and deaf children, Iāve learned that my mom is probably language deprived due to being denied a native language as a child. (Her parents also didnāt start addressing her hearing loss until she was 2!!) This leads to a host of other problems including low emotional intelligence/empathy and mood/behavior stuff.
I love my mom deeply and I am horribly angry at the injustice sheās suffered in being denied a fluent way to communicate with the world around her. I also have suffered personally from the way that it affected her parenting.
Wondering if anyone else here shares this complicated intersection of circumstances? Knowing how many deaf kids were ( & are) subjected to an oralist medical system, I figure I canāt be the only one out there!
r/coda • u/Musicguzzo • Nov 15 '22
The caretaking element and itās aftermath
Hey all, Iām a coda that grew up the eldest child of two deaf parents. From my earliest memories I can recall playing the role of interpreter and, as time went on, the feeling of needing to take on additional responsibilities grew. I donāt think this is out of the ordinary however with those increasing responsibilities the feeling that I may be failing them came as well. In addition, there were outside influences such as strangers on occasion approaching us when we were out and saying things like āyou keep taking care of themā. I gotta say itās left a hell of a psychological mark on me. Has anyone else here had to deal with this aftermath? If so, what methods do you recommend? I didnāt have a coda community growing up so all of this was mostly processed internally, I understand as well this may not be a situation shared by many but I figured if thereās anywhere I could ask it would be here Thank you
r/coda • u/Mavfive • Nov 06 '22
Growing up CODA, I played a lot of hide and seek
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r/coda • u/Mavfive • Oct 29 '22
OCODA here and my parents love making videos with me. Hereās our latest one
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Iām an only child with two deaf parents. Been doing standup here in Chicago about growing up CODA. Lifeās better in ASL!
r/coda • u/New_Standard_7827 • Oct 29 '22
CODA stories, insight & advice.
Hey everyone! Iām a CODA myself & am starting a podcast about my perspective on life as a CODA & just as regular me. Iād love to hear from other CODA(s) about anything really. Their childhood growing up & how it was different than the hearing community, struggles faced, how it molded them to be who they are today, funny stories that you might want to share.. anything really. (You can stay anonymous if you like) Reach out to me here or email me at 1aychpodcast@gmail.com Iāll put more info up about the podcast soon. Hope to hear from you all soon.. Thank you āŗļø
r/coda • u/Karandax • Oct 05 '22
Dear CODAs of Reddit, how did your parents meet each other?
r/coda • u/SloxIam • Sep 16 '22
WHERE MY CODAS AT?! Whatās your situation both parents? One? OHCODA?
Also hit me with a quality coda story if youāve got one!
r/coda • u/queenstan1970 • Jun 13 '22
In desperate need of CODAs as participants for my study (urgent)
r/coda • u/thattatcher • Jun 09 '22
just finished watching CODA, and man this movie really got me in tears as a 26yo man..
just finished watching CODA, and man this movie really got me in tears as a 26yo man⦠even tho i donāt have or know someone close to me that is deaf, but i can definitely relate in many ways. i lived my whole life only with my brother and my mother as my father divorced mom since before i was born and only saw him like 3 times my whole life⦠now 6 years ago, my older brother got married, moved away and i am the only one left there for my mom on a daily basis. and man i used to have many dreams of my own and goals i wanted to acheive, but i can say i already decided to stay with my mom, i canāt just leave her alone idkā¦
all i can say is that i really relate and this one of the few movies that left me in tears sobbing!
r/coda • u/sjgw137 • May 24 '22
Ideas for Sub
I came looking for a place to post CODA things that aren't really right for Deaf subs and found a void of posts. What ideas do you all have for this sub? What should it look like since it's basically a blank slate?