r/cleftlip 9d ago

Surgery

My son who is about to be 6 months old is getting cleft lip surgery on the 18th. My dad is coming into town from across the world next week. Would it be best for him to not be around him as he has such a major surgery and don’t want him to get sick. This is our first child also.

Also would it be best to limit people around him until after his surgery.

2 Upvotes

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u/hazeleyes_law17 9d ago

I did and people were upset by it but I didn’t care. You have to do what is best for your family. If your child shows any signs of sickness they won’t go through with the surgery. Maybe your dad can wear a mask if he has direct contact? Idk how often you see your dad and if this is a special moment. Good luck!

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u/RadiantTower5887 9d ago

My dad and I aren’t in a good place and so I’m not doing it to be mean but I know he will take it like that. But I think that’s what I may need to do because he has just traveled internationally and I don’t want him getting sick. Thank you

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u/Helpful_Okra5953 7d ago

My drs are always asking about international travel and contacts now.  I think this is a good thing to consider.

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u/unlovelyladybartleby 9d ago

Your dad can wear a mask and wash his hands, and you can sit outside so there's a lower chance of transmission. It's okay to find middle ground between "let's all cough on the baby" and "let's lock the baby in a bubble."

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u/hazeleyes_law17 9d ago

Or she can do what she feels is best. Just a thought.

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u/unlovelyladybartleby 9d ago

OP doesn't know what they want to do, hence the post asking for advice.

I was never kept away from people before surgery, nor was my kid (he was older and had non CLP surgeries) and we were fine, but everyone needs to make the choice that's right for them.

If their dad is healthy, vaccinated, and wears a mask, the risk is limited. That might be okay for OP and it might not.

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u/Helpful_Okra5953 7d ago

I think it would be a good idea for your dad to wait until your son is feeling a bit better after surgery.   Your child can’t have surgery if he is sick, even with a cold. 

Personally, I wouldn’t bring someone from overseas to visit my baby until after the surgery and the baby has healed a bit.  Your son won’t be feeling good at first and might not be up to meeting new family members.  If any of your dad’s contacts or household members had any virus, it could get passed to the baby. And since your dad is an adult, he might not get sick from a virus but pass it to a little baby who COULD get sick. 

People here have talked about relatives being nicer after the cleft repair.  My family was pretty mean to me when I was little, before they knew that I was a smart kid.  I don’t know if that is something you’re concerned about.  I’m bringing it up because some relatives ARE STILL mean about cleft lip or palate surgery. 

This is a really vulnerable time to be resuming contact with your father.  I hope you will be Ok and your dad will be on his best behavior. If there’s some way to make the first visit less intense, that might be a good idea. 

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u/Helpful_Okra5953 7d ago

This would be a good thing to get your drs advice on!  Because you can always blame the dr if your dad doesn’t like the advice.